i'm scared and i don't know what to expect
BorderlineAngel
Posts: 214
in Chit-Chat
Long story short, life got to be a bit much last week and I tried to OD.
After I got out of hospital, my parents were informed by the mental health workers as to what happened and they told my mum's parents (my grandparents who I adore).
I am seeing them for christmas lunch tomorrow and I am scared they will judge or look down on me.
After I got out of hospital, my parents were informed by the mental health workers as to what happened and they told my mum's parents (my grandparents who I adore).
I am seeing them for christmas lunch tomorrow and I am scared they will judge or look down on me.
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Replies
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They love you and they wilkl be there to support you! That is what I did when it happerned in my family! Yes they will support and love you!0
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They love you, they wont judge. Probably the only person judging you is yourself sweetie. They'll be scared and confused but they wont judge. You might find you get an extra few hugs though!!0
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I think that your family is more happy that you will be attending the holiday lunch and not so focused on what happened. I am sure that they love you unconditionally regardless of any decisions you ever make.0
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They'll be grateful you're alive. They'll cry, you'll cry. I really hope you're getting help. :flowerforyou:0
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I really hope you're getting help. :flowerforyou:
HAHA don't really have a choice. It was either I stay in the psych ward for an extra week or I get home visits.
No way was I staying there!0 -
I really hope you're getting help. :flowerforyou:
HAHA don't really have a choice. It was either I stay in the psych ward for an extra week or I get home visits.
No way was I staying there!
I wasn't meaning the help that's forced on you. I was meaning that I hope there's a professional you know, or find, who you will really talk to, and hopefully resolve what you were feeling so this doesn't happen again.0 -
They may not know quite what to say or whether it's OK to ask you questions. I don't know your family but no one is perfect. Please give them the benefit of the doubt if someone says the "wrong" thing somehow. They will be so happy to see you!0
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It happened to my daughter and if it helps this were my main thoughts:
OMG did I do enough for her
Could I have been there for her more
Could I have prevent it
So glad that she is alive
I couldn't bear the thought of losing her
What can I do to help her in the future
How can I be there for her
I wish I could put a bandaid on her to make her better
I cannot wait to see her again and just give her the biggest hug of her life
I am going to do everything in my power to ensure she gets better
You will notice that every sentance has the word 'I' in. At a time like this they will not be focusing on what you have done, but on what they have done and what they could and should have done.
They love you. embrace their love and snuggle into it this Christmas.0 -
I don't think they'll look down on you. They're probably worrying about you right now, and may not know how to manage their feelings, but I'd be very surprised if they were judging you. Best of luck, love0
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I would be nervous too, but they will be so glad to see you. Hope you are feeling better and have a great time with your family. I find that if I don't make something a huge deal, it won't be. With saying that, it is a huge deal and I hope that you are working towards feeling better and I wish you the best. But don't waste time being embarrassed about it and feeling bad around anyone. Go to your family get together and be happy and if you can, be open about it. If you don't want to discuss it and it comes up, just determine a response now and calmly use it to respond with. "Yeah, I'm feeling better now, thanks!" or something like that. You aren't obligated to explain yourself if you don't want to. Just be relax and have fun. If you ever want to talk about anything, feel fre to message me.0
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If I received any judgment from my family when I tried to commit suicide, I either didn't notice it or they didn't say anything. If anything, it served to bring me and my family a few inches closer together. What resulted from it was my knowing, in concrete, that my family loved me, cared for me and would miss me if I took my own life, no matter what the 'voices' in my head tell me or how the depression makes me feel.
If you can't muster the will to live for yourself, at least live for them.
Over all though it's a pretty difficult situation to be in. I would recommend you take it on the chin as it comes. You don't have to feel obligated to explain yourself and hopefully they won't ask that of you, but it might help to be able to unload at the same time. It's all up to you. Give lots of hugs too. And perhaps as my mom says it, hope for the best but expect the worst because you never know.
Be strong, be safe and good luck.0 -
I really hope you're getting help. :flowerforyou:
HAHA don't really have a choice. It was either I stay in the psych ward for an extra week or I get home visits.
No way was I staying there!
I wasn't meaning the help that's forced on you. I was meaning that I hope there's a professional you know, or find, who you will really talk to, and hopefully resolve what you were feeling so this doesn't happen again.
Yeah I've been going to a psych who I really like for couple months. But cos we are bringing up old stuff I had blocked out it kind of triggers everything.0 -
Bringing up past issues is never easy.
I agree with the others that your family will be happy you're there to enjoy the day with them. They may or may not try to talk to you about it, but probably not on xmas day, and even if they do, they should respect you not wanting to, if that's the case.
It's definitely good that you're seeing someone who you're comfortable with, that makes it a lot easier to get to the bottom of the issues, but that does also make it harder to hide from the things you don't want to deal with. But hiding that sort of stuff isn't healthy in the first place.0 -
I don't think they'll look down on you. They're probably worrying about you right now, and may not know how to manage their feelings, but I'd be very surprised if they were judging you. Best of luck, love0
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When my dad attempted suicide, everyone gave us and my dad so much love and support and understanding.
Everything is going to be ok.0 -
It happened to my daughter and if it helps this were my main thoughts:
OMG did I do enough for her
Could I have been there for her more
Could I have prevent it
So glad that she is alive
I couldn't bear the thought of losing her
What can I do to help her in the future
How can I be there for her
I wish I could put a bandaid on her to make her better
I cannot wait to see her again and just give her the biggest hug of her life
I am going to do everything in my power to ensure she gets better
You will notice that every sentance has the word 'I' in. At a time like this they will not be focusing on what you have done, but on what they have done and what they could and should have done.
They love you. embrace their love and snuggle into it this Christmas.
this really helped - thanks0 -
It happened to my daughter and if it helps this were my main thoughts:
OMG did I do enough for her
Could I have been there for her more
Could I have prevent it
So glad that she is alive
I couldn't bear the thought of losing her
What can I do to help her in the future
How can I be there for her
I wish I could put a bandaid on her to make her better
I cannot wait to see her again and just give her the biggest hug of her life
I am going to do everything in my power to ensure she gets better
You will notice that every sentance has the word 'I' in. At a time like this they will not be focusing on what you have done, but on what they have done and what they could and should have done.
They love you. embrace their love and snuggle into it this Christmas.
They are right, my mom is still reeling from when I tried to take my life over a year ago, they will be worried and wonder what they could have done to prevent such a thing, and they will try their best to make you feel loved, just embrace it. I am happy that you are still with us and if you ever need anyone to talk to, I'm here.0 -
They love you and if they do judge, they'll surely want to make sure you don't try again by having a wonderful Christmas. *hugs* Although I do seriously question the health service being so candid without your consent...0
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My cousin tried to do the same and we did not judge him whatsoever, we just felt concern and overwhelming love for him and gratitude that he was ok. Hope you start to feel better soon, sending you love and positive thoughts. xxx0
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You know they love you, right?
As a dad & grandpa, I can tell you that love is unconditional!
After a little while, you should feel more comfortable.
My thoughts are with you.0 -
People are saying they won't judge you but they will. Not really in a bad way but more like "Why is she doing this, doesn't she know we love her." type of way. Besides if you really love them you won't be doing this, your just putting them through a lot of pain and agony by acting like this. Grandparents hearts are not as strong as it use too and their sensitive creatures.
All I want to say is think about your grandparents(who you say you love) before attempting this again and how it will affect them.
Be strong, keep your head up you'll be fine.0 -
As stated, they love you. I am sure they are very happy they have you with them for Christmas. Having said that, they probably have no idea how to approach you. I know I wouldn't. so they may say or do things out of their love that are not exactly what you may want. It likely won't be intentionally judgmental, but could come across that way.0
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I agree, they are going to want to help.
Just be aware that people who love you are not going to know what to say. In my darkest hours, I thought people were judging me, but now I know that they just didn't know what to do, or what to say, and they were very afraid.
It is human nature to judge. Every thing any one of us does is judged by others. You judge, and you are judged.
Now with that said, have you ever heard "Judge not, lest you be judged."? To me that means that if you are having positive thoughts toward your family, you will think they are having positive thoughts toward you. If you feel like everyone is out to get you, that is what you will see. If you think no one loves you, you will perceive every comment as negative judgement. Things other people do are for themselves. They aren't "out to get you" or "judging you" (in a negative way) - they are merely looking at circumstances from the outside, and from their own perspectives, clouded by their own experience. Like the lady above said, they are trying to figure out what they can do. This is scary for them, and they've probably never had to deal with something like this.
I hope you get well. You deserve it. You are almost an adult, and you can steer your own path now. I hope you choose laughter and joy, not darkness.0 -
Grandparents, more often than not, give love that is unconditional. You don't need to do anything for it or earn it. They won't judge you but they do want you around so they can love you.0
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Everyone makes mistakes. We are only human. I don't think your grandparents will want to judge you. They may want to talk about it and help prevent it in the future, but as everyone else says, they love you. They will be there to help you in any way they can.0
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They will not be judging you, they will be trying to find right things to say to express how happy they are that your are with them and that they do not want you to go down the same path ever again.
I do not know what you have experienced in your life and why thoughts of complete hopelessness and despair has creeped in to your life. Whatever it is, it's past. Look to the future, it is bright and you have every option available that is within your reach. You are young and beautiful, and you have family (not perfect, but who has perfect family!) to support you the best they can.
You can't drive forward if all you do is look in rear view mirror. Look at future, it is bright! Don't discount the whole day if it starts out with raining weather. Often sun comes out even before lunchtime. Your life and your future really is what you will make it to be.
Hugs and have a wonderful Christmas!0 -
I don't think your grandparents are going to be judgemental in a bad way. But you did scare them, they will be concerned, and conversation will probably be awkward. They will very likely not really know exactly what to say or how to act. And it's probable that someone is going to say exactly the wrong thing, in the wrong tone, at the wrong time. That doesn't mean that they are angry, or disappointed, or hateful toward you. It means that they are human too, and they will make mistakes.
Try to going into the day with love in your heart and understanding in your mind. Maybe if you bring up the topic in a lighthearted way ("Hey everyone, I'm so glad that I didn't miss out on this special day with you!") it will open the door to a more meaningful conversation, or even let everyone know that it isn't something to worry about on this day.
But, I'll say it again. They're going to say something 'wrong'. Please try not to get too upset by it, and try to understand that it's just because they have absolutely no idea what to say that would be 'right'.0 -
((hugs))
I've been the one in the hospital, worried about people judging me when I got out.
Know that people really do want to help, but recognize that different people will express their concern in different ways.
Some may act irritated with you. Others will want to hug you and not let go.
Meet people where they are, just as you hope they'll do for you.
If they want to talk about your stay in the hospital, talk about what helped rather than what you didn't like.
Should there ever be a time when it's best for you to return to the hospital for treatment, you want your family to know that's a safe place to take you if you're feeling like hurting yourself.
Blessings to you. Please know that it can get better. It does get better. It's hard work but you're totally worth the effort.
Feel free to friend me.0 -
((hugs))
I've been the one in the hospital, worried about people judging me when I got out.
Know that people really do want to help, but recognize that different people will express their concern in different ways.
Some may act irritated with you. Others will want to hug you and not let go.
Meet people where they are, just as you hope they'll do for you.
If they want to talk about your stay in the hospital, talk about what helped rather than what you didn't like.
Should there ever be a time when it's best for you to return to the hospital for treatment, you want your family to know that's a safe place to take you if you're feeling like hurting yourself.
Blessings to you. Please know that it can get better. It does get better. It's hard work but you're totally worth the effort.
Feel free to friend me.
That was lovely.0 -
Thanks, Naomi.
It's what I would've wanted to hear after my experience.0
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