i'm scared and i don't know what to expect

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BorderlineAngel
BorderlineAngel Posts: 214
in Chit-Chat
Long story short, life got to be a bit much last week and I tried to OD.
After I got out of hospital, my parents were informed by the mental health workers as to what happened and they told my mum's parents (my grandparents who I adore).

I am seeing them for christmas lunch tomorrow and I am scared they will judge or look down on me. :(
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Replies

  • oberon0124
    oberon0124 Posts: 10,527 Member
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    They love you and they wilkl be there to support you! That is what I did when it happerned in my family! Yes they will support and love you!
  • smilesalot1969
    smilesalot1969 Posts: 392
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    They love you, they wont judge. Probably the only person judging you is yourself sweetie. They'll be scared and confused but they wont judge. You might find you get an extra few hugs though!!
  • JUP1T3R
    JUP1T3R Posts: 31
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    I think that your family is more happy that you will be attending the holiday lunch and not so focused on what happened. I am sure that they love you unconditionally regardless of any decisions you ever make.
  • Athena98501
    Athena98501 Posts: 716 Member
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    They'll be grateful you're alive. They'll cry, you'll cry. I really hope you're getting help. :flowerforyou:
  • BorderlineAngel
    BorderlineAngel Posts: 214
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    I really hope you're getting help. :flowerforyou:

    HAHA don't really have a choice. It was either I stay in the psych ward for an extra week or I get home visits.
    No way was I staying there!
  • Athena98501
    Athena98501 Posts: 716 Member
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    I really hope you're getting help. :flowerforyou:

    HAHA don't really have a choice. It was either I stay in the psych ward for an extra week or I get home visits.
    No way was I staying there!

    I wasn't meaning the help that's forced on you. I was meaning that I hope there's a professional you know, or find, who you will really talk to, and hopefully resolve what you were feeling so this doesn't happen again.
  • cjsacto
    cjsacto Posts: 1,421 Member
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    They may not know quite what to say or whether it's OK to ask you questions. I don't know your family but no one is perfect. Please give them the benefit of the doubt if someone says the "wrong" thing somehow. They will be so happy to see you!
  • sandradev1
    sandradev1 Posts: 786 Member
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    It happened to my daughter and if it helps this were my main thoughts:

    OMG did I do enough for her
    Could I have been there for her more
    Could I have prevent it
    So glad that she is alive
    I couldn't bear the thought of losing her
    What can I do to help her in the future
    How can I be there for her
    I wish I could put a bandaid on her to make her better
    I cannot wait to see her again and just give her the biggest hug of her life
    I am going to do everything in my power to ensure she gets better

    You will notice that every sentance has the word 'I' in. At a time like this they will not be focusing on what you have done, but on what they have done and what they could and should have done.

    They love you. embrace their love and snuggle into it this Christmas.
  • Velum_cado
    Velum_cado Posts: 1,608 Member
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    I don't think they'll look down on you. They're probably worrying about you right now, and may not know how to manage their feelings, but I'd be very surprised if they were judging you. Best of luck, love
  • g0hard0rg0h0me00
    g0hard0rg0h0me00 Posts: 52
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    I would be nervous too, but they will be so glad to see you. Hope you are feeling better and have a great time with your family. I find that if I don't make something a huge deal, it won't be. With saying that, it is a huge deal and I hope that you are working towards feeling better and I wish you the best. But don't waste time being embarrassed about it and feeling bad around anyone. Go to your family get together and be happy and if you can, be open about it. If you don't want to discuss it and it comes up, just determine a response now and calmly use it to respond with. "Yeah, I'm feeling better now, thanks!" or something like that. You aren't obligated to explain yourself if you don't want to. Just be relax and have fun. If you ever want to talk about anything, feel fre to message me.
  • sissiluv
    sissiluv Posts: 2,205 Member
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    If I received any judgment from my family when I tried to commit suicide, I either didn't notice it or they didn't say anything. If anything, it served to bring me and my family a few inches closer together. What resulted from it was my knowing, in concrete, that my family loved me, cared for me and would miss me if I took my own life, no matter what the 'voices' in my head tell me or how the depression makes me feel.

    If you can't muster the will to live for yourself, at least live for them.

    Over all though it's a pretty difficult situation to be in. I would recommend you take it on the chin as it comes. You don't have to feel obligated to explain yourself and hopefully they won't ask that of you, but it might help to be able to unload at the same time. It's all up to you. Give lots of hugs too. And perhaps as my mom says it, hope for the best but expect the worst because you never know.
    Be strong, be safe and good luck.
  • BorderlineAngel
    BorderlineAngel Posts: 214
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    I really hope you're getting help. :flowerforyou:

    HAHA don't really have a choice. It was either I stay in the psych ward for an extra week or I get home visits.
    No way was I staying there!

    I wasn't meaning the help that's forced on you. I was meaning that I hope there's a professional you know, or find, who you will really talk to, and hopefully resolve what you were feeling so this doesn't happen again.

    Yeah I've been going to a psych who I really like for couple months. But cos we are bringing up old stuff I had blocked out it kind of triggers everything.
  • AndyStanford
    AndyStanford Posts: 154 Member
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    Bringing up past issues is never easy.

    I agree with the others that your family will be happy you're there to enjoy the day with them. They may or may not try to talk to you about it, but probably not on xmas day, and even if they do, they should respect you not wanting to, if that's the case.

    It's definitely good that you're seeing someone who you're comfortable with, that makes it a lot easier to get to the bottom of the issues, but that does also make it harder to hide from the things you don't want to deal with. But hiding that sort of stuff isn't healthy in the first place.
  • BorderlineAngel
    BorderlineAngel Posts: 214
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    I don't think they'll look down on you. They're probably worrying about you right now, and may not know how to manage their feelings, but I'd be very surprised if they were judging you. Best of luck, love
    hope not /:
  • grawrrrr
    grawrrrr Posts: 336
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    When my dad attempted suicide, everyone gave us and my dad so much love and support and understanding.

    Everything is going to be ok.
  • BorderlineAngel
    BorderlineAngel Posts: 214
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    It happened to my daughter and if it helps this were my main thoughts:

    OMG did I do enough for her
    Could I have been there for her more
    Could I have prevent it
    So glad that she is alive
    I couldn't bear the thought of losing her
    What can I do to help her in the future
    How can I be there for her
    I wish I could put a bandaid on her to make her better
    I cannot wait to see her again and just give her the biggest hug of her life
    I am going to do everything in my power to ensure she gets better

    You will notice that every sentance has the word 'I' in. At a time like this they will not be focusing on what you have done, but on what they have done and what they could and should have done.

    They love you. embrace their love and snuggle into it this Christmas.

    this really helped - thanks
  • totallydevious
    totallydevious Posts: 309 Member
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    It happened to my daughter and if it helps this were my main thoughts:

    OMG did I do enough for her
    Could I have been there for her more
    Could I have prevent it
    So glad that she is alive
    I couldn't bear the thought of losing her
    What can I do to help her in the future
    How can I be there for her
    I wish I could put a bandaid on her to make her better
    I cannot wait to see her again and just give her the biggest hug of her life
    I am going to do everything in my power to ensure she gets better

    You will notice that every sentance has the word 'I' in. At a time like this they will not be focusing on what you have done, but on what they have done and what they could and should have done.

    They love you. embrace their love and snuggle into it this Christmas.

    They are right, my mom is still reeling from when I tried to take my life over a year ago, they will be worried and wonder what they could have done to prevent such a thing, and they will try their best to make you feel loved, just embrace it. I am happy that you are still with us and if you ever need anyone to talk to, I'm here.
  • marinebiologist_girl
    marinebiologist_girl Posts: 300
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    They love you and if they do judge, they'll surely want to make sure you don't try again by having a wonderful Christmas. *hugs* Although I do seriously question the health service being so candid without your consent...
  • jessicathomas15
    jessicathomas15 Posts: 46
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    My cousin tried to do the same and we did not judge him whatsoever, we just felt concern and overwhelming love for him and gratitude that he was ok. Hope you start to feel better soon, sending you love and positive thoughts. xxx
  • BeeElMarvin
    BeeElMarvin Posts: 2,086 Member
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    You know they love you, right?
    As a dad & grandpa, I can tell you that love is unconditional!
    After a little while, you should feel more comfortable.
    My thoughts are with you.

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