Terrified of Intimacy

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  • Rebirth08
    Rebirth08 Posts: 174 Member
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    I don't buy the idea that men don't notice things; if women notice it, men do too. I can agree though, that we women do put a lot of extra emphasis on body image. On the other hand, there are plenty of men that like a woman with a womanly figure - a little weight is one thing, but a belly that covers 'parts' or gets in the way of sex can be a turn off.

    But this IS more than a weight issue, because regardless of size, we have to be comfortable in our skin if we are going to be sexually intimate with someone. And I don't want the lights off everytime we go there, that means I still feel the need to hide...no, thank you.


    (hence, that's why personally, I am changing my body composition and getting comfortable with me before I let ANYONE get close to me like that again).
  • ColorfulWeirdo
    ColorfulWeirdo Posts: 113 Member
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    Spend a lot of time getting to know you, by yourself. Both physically and mentally. Try the book "Becoming Orgasmic" by Julia Heisman. Once you start to love yourself, it makes intimacy a lot easier. Remember that you deserve happiness, that you deserve love and that, as most of the people above stated, any guy that is worth it loves you stretch marks and all.
  • SoDamnHungry
    SoDamnHungry Posts: 6,998 Member
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    Hi JustJazmyn,

    I'd recommend that you make intimacy not a part of dating. In other words, if there's no wedding, there's no sex. Nowadays that's a pretty radical way of thinking, but I think you should remember that you're worthwhile and not let anyone have what is precious without that commitment.

    (Start the hate mail now, lol!)

    My favorite quote for this situation: If he doesn't love you at your worst, he doesn't deserve you at your best.

    Stay amazing.

    Love this response. Just a couple of notes: You don't have to take sex off the table until marriage. Just until you love someone and feel comfortable. And remember to love yourself like ColorfulTriathlete said. You need to be happy with yourself or you might not enjoy when you try to be intimate.
  • MaraDiaz
    MaraDiaz Posts: 4,604 Member
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    Beauty is just a light switch away. :wink:

    I shall make this my motto, my battle cry, and my personal mantra. :laugh:


    OP, all my fat friends are married. And to some pretty damn good looking men, too. They've been married happily for years or decades. Me, I've been a scrawny little stick thing and not too bad on the eyes, but I'm of the difficult personality persuasion (otherwise known as the unlovable tribe) and I've never been married. Think on that one awhile, then walk into any public place and watch the happy couples go by of all shapes, sizes and pairings.

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