Money and Significant Others

GetHotIn2014

So, I'm interested to know how many of you deal with this (probably a LOT of you). My boyfriend has a lot of the same bad diet habits that I have for a long time. When we were at the grocery store last night we were on a really tight budget, so we were trying to get the things that would go the distance and be cheap. We got bread, and he wouldn't compromise on getting the regular wheat vs. 100% whole wheat since the whole wheat was more expensive and was a smaller loaf. I wanted to get a few bags of frozen veggies to have with dinners, but in the end I could only get one. We got bologna and hot dogs, which are pretty terrible choices of meat, but again, the cheapest. My boyfriend did agree on getting 100% whole wheat buns for the hot dogs. We got macaroni and cheese and ramen noodles. Ugh. Again, very cheap choices, but really not healthy ones. I was desperately looking for a whole grain box or bag of pasta but unfortunately nothing was comparable in price. When discussing the bread, my boyfriend said "You know, I'm glad you're trying to eat healthy now, but you don't have to be a perfectionist about it." That's one of his famous lines. He seems to say a lot of things about me trying to be perfect or being a perfectionist. I'm not. Perfection is impossible and I'm well aware of that, but if I can't be perfect at anything, I'd at least like to be excellent at some things. Being healthy is definitely one of them! How do you deal with it when you get that kind of resistance from your spouse/boyfriend/girlfriend, not necessarily discouraging, but because of the unhealthy choices being cheaper or more convenient?

KaydaRN

I’m pretty lucky in that my significant other eats healthy with me. I do most of the cooking so it’s not like she has a choice. You just have to know how to dress the food up with herbs and other seasonings. Now cost, yes it can get expensive eating, but you have to think about yours and your partner’s health. I want my girlfriend to be healthy, hopefully grow old together and all that jazz. Eating right is a part of it. You don’t want to develop diseases later in life like diabetes or hypertension from poor diet. Read the nutrition labels and make compromises. Every once in a while we have dairy queen blizzards, every now and then we buy some crap that isn’t on our diet. You can get inexpensive frozen veggies, come on now. Buy whole chicken/turkey, food for days for just two people and easy to cook.

heatherseeg

Oh that is hard. I also try to buy cheap but still healthy. Try this:
1. On the bread, see if you can find a day old bread store. In my town, there are 2 of them. The whole wheat bread and buns are always less than $.80 per loaf.
2. I get groceries at Walmart. The generic whole wheat pasta (great value brand) is just as cheap as the regular.
3. Eggs are cheap and a great source of protein. Even if you can't afford the egg beaters, regular eggs are outstanding in my opinion.
4. Tuna is a very healthy and cheap source of protein.
5. Generic old-fashioned oatmeal in the big round container is cheap, healthy, and will do alot of meals.
6. This is not an option for everyone, but I get almost all of my veggies and fruits from my little garden that produces produce like crazy.
7. Turkeys have been cheap at the grocery store. Can you cook a whole turkey, and put the meat in baggies and freeze them? I've done that before to get a higher quality meat for cheap.
8. I buy bags of dry beans, which are very cheap. I cook them in water in the crock pot overnight, and then in the morning I put them in zip lock baggies and then into the freezer. I use them to make chili, burritos, or bean soup. My favorite kinds are the red beans. My hubby likes the black beans.
9. I buy the huge gallon size can of tomato sauce at costco. It only costs about $2.50. I add some seasoning and a little olive oil and garlic, and put that into individual zip lock baggies for freezing, and use it for pasta sauce, pizza sauce, tomato based soups, etc.
10. With the huge can of crushed tomatoes from costco, I make super cheap salsa. The can is less than $3.00 for about a gallon size can. I add a little onion, peppers, salt, pepper, garlic, and lemon juice. It is way less than pace salsa, and we like it so much better. It is so healthy and low calorie too!
11. Usually the cheapest fruits and veggies at my grocery store are carrots (not the baby variety), and bananas. See if your grocery store will price match competitor ads. I know Walmart does where I live. Or maybe you need to switch grocery stores.

cuterbee

Gotta second what heatherseeg said, and add that if you buy that whole turkey (a whole chicken works too), you should boil the bones after you've stripped off the meat for soup stock. Let it cool and skim the fat off the top, and you have a very tasty soup base that you can throw a bag of mixed frozen veggies and a chopped onion into for a low calorie, delicious soup.

LetsMakeupXtina

I don't take my husband grocery shopping with me for this very reason I will buy him a few things just for him, but mostly I shop for meals that are healthy and when i make them I hear no complaints. and he eats HORRIBLY. when I am not around it is junk food, candy, fast food for him... yet he is so skinny and it makes me mad lol. but yeah, I just do the grocery shopping solo and that works for us, and he also completely respects that this is important and life changing for me.

vjohn04

I know this may sound silly.... but have you considered couponing? I coupon each week, and match it up with sale items. I can typically buy the healthier versions of the same foods, and save money.

It takes me a few hours to get everything in order for the grocery store, but I figure with the amount of money I save, it's totally worth it.

Duck_Puddle

Do you have an actual food budget-whatever the amount happens to be? And do you have a list of items you would like to have on hand? And the approximate cost? Keep in mind that there's a huge continuum of healthiness between hot dogs and organic hand-fed chicken for $9/lb. I don't spend a lot on food, but I also have a general list of stuff to have on hand, and we eat what's on sale. We get frozen veggies for $1 or less per bag, boneless chicken for $2/lb (or less), rice is like $0.25/serving, yogurt is $0.50, bananas are $0.30-$0.60/lb, a head of lettuce is about a buck, eggs are less than $2/dozen. Depending on what brand of hot dogs you bought and the fancy whole-wheat buns, I can almost guarantee that you could have purchased rice, veggies and chicken for a much lower cost/meal. It's all about planning and recognizing that on a serious budget, you may have to go with store-brand white bread that's $0.99/loaf vs whole grain/whole wheat/organic/extra super-duper bread that's $4 a loaf. That's how life works. Failing to eat whole wheat anything isn't going to sabotage your plans. Living outside your budget (whatever it is) is a problem.

Do some real planning and really compare food labels on the extra-special stuff you want to buy. You can eat plenty healthy even if you're not a rockefeller. And I second couponing and buying larger packages that are lower cost/serving, and cooking up whatever you can from scratch.

auntiebabs

I kinda am a perfectionist and it has stopped me from doing so much in my life. Because I didn't want to try if I was certain of success. And when I screwed up I gave up.

So my mindset this go round was. I don't have to be perfect I just have to be better. It really took the pressure off. And I've got a much longer term out look. I'm not giving up my favorites for ever. I'm going to strive to eat healthy as often as I can, but when I do indulge in a treat, I'm not going to beat myself up over it. Guilty isn't going to remedy anything. (So if I'm eating brownies I might as well enjoy them.)

A series of small sustainable changes has been my new mantra. Improve 3 or 4 things. until they become habits that you don't even think about anymore. Once those are habit improve another couple of things. When those are habits, change another couple of things. My thinking is that it takes an awful lot of energy to revamp your whole life and when you get stressed you'll tend to revert to old ways. If you change bit by bit you still have a source of comfort and eventually the first few improvement will feel comforting, as well.

(BTW, I don't think of Hot Dogs as a cheap meat. Up by me they cost about $5 for a package which is usually 1 lb. I can get chicken for about $1.25 a lb. and tuna for about $1 a can. (which for me is 2 servings) Dried beans are really cheap (although this may seem like a big change not a little change).

Remember you can always make a complete protein without meat by select items from any 2 of these 4 groups at one meal Whole Grains, Seeds, Legumes (beans) and Dairy. So rice and beans, Polenta with cheese, Nuts and cheese. In college I was an economic vegetarian, because it was way cheaper. In a casserole I'd layer thinly sliced potato, with cheese and spinach. Then bake it until the potatoes were tender and the cheese was bubbly and gooey. So I got my complete protein along with a vegetable in one dish.

Monticello

I don't take my husband grocery shopping with me for this very reason I will buy him a few things just for him, but mostly I shop for meals that are healthy and when i make them I hear no complaints. and he eats HORRIBLY. when I am not around it is junk food, candy, fast food for him... yet he is so skinny and it makes me mad lol. but yeah, I just do the grocery shopping solo and that works for us, and he also completely respects that this is important and life changing for me.

This!

Don't take him shopping with you for starters. I'll add a male perspective to the conversation: The best meal is any meal that I don't have to buy groceries for or prepare myself.

I'm vegetarian and I eat pretty cheaply without resorting to bleached bread or eating any pasta. I do it by eating whole foods as much as possible. Lots of vegetables, lots of beans, a moderate amount of rice. And the great thing is most of it is low calorie and high fiber. And I can eat A LOT of food because of it. I love to chow down on whole bag of frozen veggies which only cost me a dollar, feel incredibly full and only have 150 calories to log as a result.

Topsking2010

I agree with the others. Never take your BF shopping!!!

GetHotIn2014

Yeah, I think from now on I'm gonna try to push to do the grocery shopping on my own and just get a few specially requested items for him. I HATE shopping with him, anyway. It seems like it takes a billion years. Seriously, we spent 2 hours in Walmart that night and only bought about 10 items. =P We have so much trouble agreeing on what to buy, even when I wasn't trying to eat healthy.

justal313

I agree with the others. Never take your BF shopping!!!

Sorry, I get upset when I don't go grocery shopping. Of course we both cook, so we both want a say in the food. I'm never saying no, just "that's all you, I don't like it" for food I won't eat like cauliflower, mushrooms, or nutella.

LoraF83

I definitely don't agree with the whole "don't take him shopping" mantra - you're in a partnership together. He deserves a say too. That said, you do as well.

Whole wheat bread and pasta are not necessarily better than "white". Many brands have almost the same ingredients and nutritional values. Look carefully at what you are buying before deciding if it's "better" or not.

Bags of rice and beans are cheap and will go a long way. Hot dogs and bologna are not necessarily the cheapest choices. You could buy a whole chicken fairly cheap. Roast it and pick the meat off. Add bbq sauce for yummy sandwiches. Stir the chicken into rice with a little soy sauce for a good, filling dinner (just watch the sodium!).

Eggs are also cheap and are a great source of protein. You can frequently get frozen veggies for less than $1 - stock up when you see them on sale. You're probably not going to find the ones with the sauce for that price, but add your own seasonings for flavor (you can buy a lot of seasonings at the dollar store).

TALK to him about what you want your diet to be like and ask where he can compromise with you. Get online and find some budget blogs with recipes. Have him pick some that look good.

Good luck!

quirkytizzy

Oh, I SO hear you. So very, very much. My bf is the pickiest eater on the planet, meaning that we have to shop for foods we both (namely: him) will eat because our 30-40 a week for food doesn't allow us to buy separate meals. We have VASTLY differing taste buds - and his is definiably unhealthier.

And the truth of the matter is, when you combine THAT with our lack of money, we simply can't afford very healthy foods at all. I would love to go the beans, chicken, and rice method (I love those) but he would not eat it. And we can't afford to buy things like 7 grain wheat breads, or many fruits (canned veggies, thank god, is something he does like and IS cheap.). It gets very frustrating.

I have had to adopt portion control as my main coping mechanism. If I insisted on the foods I'd like to eat, he would starve (willingly, but that's another topic for how stupid picky he is). For the sake of peace, I've learned to use smaller plates and set left-overs to be eaten in small portions as snacks during the day.

EatClean_WashUrNuts

Perfection is impossible

Perfection is a perception of what you believe. For you, it is unattainable. Change your mindset....this will go miles into how you act upon the choices before you...especially with your eating habits. It's not about being the "cleanest" eater...you dont HAVE to have 100% Whole Wheat. You HAVE to maintain your caloric intake....start with the mind. Then move to the diet.

MumOfADuo

Great points heather!!!!! WOW!!! I too love shopping at walmart for food because its cheaper...even better if you have a super walmart near you....Or a Winco.....we have those on the west coast...I wont buy meat there tho lol.....you CAN do this.....you have to get creative!!!!!

MumOfADuo

Perfection is impossible

Perfection is a perception of what you believe. For you, it is unattainable. Change your mindset....this will go miles into how you act upon the choices before you...especially with your eating habits. It's not about being the "cleanest" eater...you dont HAVE to have 100% Whole Wheat. You HAVE to maintain your caloric intake....start with the mind. Then move to the diet.

Love that!!! START WITH THE MIND...THEN move to the diet!!!! That is the absolute TRUTH and the absolute HARDEST to accomplish!!!!!!!!

acogg

My suggestion is to have this discussion at home, before you are in the store. Make a shopping list that you both can agree on. Use the food logging tool on MFP to prelog your meals, tracking as many nutrients as you can, especially calories and sodium. This will allow you to compare your choices ahead of time. Food decision making in the store is dangerous and expensive, especially while you are in a calorie deficit, AKA HUNGRY. lol

BlueObsidian

I know this may sound silly.... but have you considered couponing? I coupon each week, and match it up with sale items. I can typically buy the healthier versions of the same foods, and save money.

It takes me a few hours to get everything in order for the grocery store, but I figure with the amount of money I save, it's totally worth it.

I totally agree with this suggestion. Although you will rarely find coupons on fresh produce or meat, I save enough on dry and canned goods to give me more flexibility to buy what I want in those areas. Plus, I can almost always find coupons for things like toilet paper, laundry detergent, toothpaste, and soap. We're on a tight budget, so even just saving a few bucks a trip can really help.

This is my favorite guide for getting the most out of coupons:
http://thecouponproject.com/getting-started/coupons-101

derekj222

Find somewhere cheaper like Aldi's to shop...or Bottom Dollar, etc....boxes of pasta are always on sale for like $1! stock up! Yes some healthier options will be more pricey, but the reward is better and it's better for your body. I buy almond milk for $2.50 for half gallon at Aldi and skim milk would be like $1.50 or something. Only you can make it all work in the end!

prokomds

Coincidentally, I was just reading this earlier

http://www.nerdfitness.com/blog/2012/12/27/cheap-and-healthy-food/

It's always unfortunate when money is tight, but when it comes down to it, what's more important than properly fueling your body? If you're not healthy, nothing else really matters as much. There's this (ramen noodle) idea that more volume of food is better, when really you should be looking to see how to get the most nutrition for your buck

And if your grocery trips take too long, you need to plan more. You can come up with a handful of healthy ideas ahead of time, and then when you're there pick the ones that are on sale. It may not be easy, but it's possible. Best of luck!