The Rock Pile

MireyGal76

ok... some of you will laugh at this, and I just ask that if you think it's stupid, please refrain from commenting and move on... there are plenty of places where you can laugh and have fun...

I was reading the body shaming thread and made this statement:

The thing is, every time you shame someone for something they often cannot change, it's like heaping another rock on their backs. But the problem is that unbeknownst to you, they often already bear a burden you cannot even imagine.

The flaming responses that come out when people make inflammatory statements, are due to the recipient collapsing under that seemingly innocent statement... that was the final rock on their back.

So many of us carry so much internal pain. Hell, many of us are on this site because of eating disorders, unhealthy eating habits, or pure inactivity which has wreaked havoc on our bodies and psyche. We have enough burdens to bear on our own and we need to learn how to unload those rocks in a healthy way.

So I thought about it...

Perhaps some of us could use a thread where we unload the rocks we carry in a safe way... hopefully to lay them to rest for good.

I will start this off, and if you feel led... please join in...

My Rocks to add to the rock pile...
- "Sasquatch" - I am not a freak because I am tall.
- "Fat"
- 'Stupid"
- "Ugly"
- "Inadequate"
- "Lacking"
- "Physically inferior"
- "Just not good enough"
- "someone bound for hell because of their past mistakes"
- "a bad mother"
- "a bad wife"

I am none of these. I am strong, powerful, and exactly who I was meant to be. I love my kids to distraction. I have made mistakes, but they have turned me into the powerhouse I am now. I lay these rocks here now, and hereby refuse to carry them anymore.

childermass

*bump* for when I have more time

BinaryPulsar

Mirey, you are brave. This is beautiful. I don't know if I'm ready to say those things out loud because the things I feel carry such a deep history of shame for me and are a very vulnerable place to open up on the internet. But, I am here to listen and maybe join in if I articulate something I want to share. And yes, you are correct, the feelings we have go much deeper than people could ever know. Thank you!! :flowerforyou:

I guess I will say this: When I was a very young child I was used and made into nothing but a sexual object for my stepfather's violence and degrading sex acts. The impact that had on me ran very deep, and It took a lot of work to shake free from. I am still dealing with it now, but it is a lot better. I am a grown woman now, and a mother. My relationship with my husband has been deeply healing.

for you and everyone!

MireyGal76

Mirey, you are brave. This is beautiful. I don't know if I'm ready to say those things out loud because the things I feel carry such a deep history of shame for me and are a very vulnerable place to open up on the internet. But, I am here to listen and maybe join in if I articulate something I want to share. And yes, you are correct, the feelings we have go much deeper than people could ever know. Thank you!! :flowerforyou:

I guess I will say this: When I was a very young child I was used and made into nothing but a sexual object for my stepfather's violence and degrading sex acts. The impact that had on me ran very deep, and It took a lot of work to shake free from. I am still dealing with it now, but it is a lot better. I am a grown woman now, and a mother. My relationship with my husband has been deeply healing.

for you and everyone!

Binary. Thank you for sharing that.
You were more than an object then.
You are more than an object now.
You were and are precious, and loved and special and AWESOME and BRAVE!!!!
You are a beautiful woman, with a child of her own and a chance to spread your joy through your children's lives.
You will be in my thoughts and prayers.

*hugs*

ImNotThatBob

Sandy, your insight amazes me!

My contribution to the rock pile: "I'll never be good enough."

It occurred to me that sometimes the biggest rocks are the one I pile on myself. I can be my own worst critic!



I will persevere!

MommaKit79

BUMP for later as I am thinking about it. I have dealt with a LOT of my demons of my past, not that there were that many, but to this day, I still have IMAGE issues...

And Sandy, YOU ARE AN AMAZING WOMAN!!!! I LOVE the insight you have on things and this shows me how WONDERFUL a person you are!!! HUGS!!!!!

deksgrl

All of my rocks are of my own making, they are virtually suspended right over me all of the time. And when others say things, that causes me to pull the string that releases the rock on me. "They" didn't do it, "I" did.

MireyGal76

"Let It Be" by Superchick

Some people bring you gifts
Some bring you bricks to weight you down
so they can swim a little higher
while you drown

some people mean so well
Their way was the best way that they found
But any other way you choose
is a brick that weights you down

So tell me what do I do with this backpack
Full of bricks
and sticks and stones and words that stuck to me
like ticks

[CHORUS]
Let it go, let it be
Brick by brick we can be free of all the words we saved
Till we were our own enemies
Let it go, let it be
Brick by brick we can believe in the person
God intended us to be
Let it be

Some people give themselves a brick
I know most people do
when we compare
We fall short somewhere
It's always true
if all we see is where we fall
We've bricked a prison wall
instead of trying to learn to fly
We've taught ourselves to crawl

we could believe in ourselves
More we could try for unique
Instead of trying to conform
We could defy what they tell us

Don't buy the lies they sell us
if we're brave we can believe in what we are