Question *not fitness related*

Colliex3
Colliex3 Posts: 328 Member
in Chit-Chat
Yes this isnt fitness related, but not everything on this site seems to be lol.. but I have alittle question and thought someone might be able to answer this for me...

If your seeing someone and you decided its not going where you want ...do you just drop of the face of the earth, or do you do the decent thing and let them know your not interested?
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Replies

  • corn63
    corn63 Posts: 1,580 Member
    You should do the decent thing and let them know. They're a human being too. They have feelings.
  • ScatteredThoughts
    ScatteredThoughts Posts: 3,562 Member
    The latter. Why would you just break off contact without any explanation whatsoever?
  • Danny_Boy13
    Danny_Boy13 Posts: 2,094 Member
    Yeah....let them know so they are not just left in limbo.
  • coliema
    coliema Posts: 7,646 Member
    Be decent.
  • Capt_Apollo
    Capt_Apollo Posts: 9,026 Member
    defriend them. ey'll figure it out.

    or the next time they send you a text that goes "i miss you." just respond with "yeah, i miss you too. you're such a good friend. it's like hanging out with my brother." he'll figure it out.

    or call him by a different name. he'll figure it out then.
  • MidwestAngel
    MidwestAngel Posts: 1,897 Member
    defriend them. ey'll figure it out.

    or the next time they send you a text that goes "i miss you." just respond with "yeah, i miss you too. you're such a good friend. it's like hanging out with my brother." he'll figure it out.

    or call him by a different name. he'll figure it out then.

    All of these would work.
  • Slimat30
    Slimat30 Posts: 142
    Let them down in a gentle but firm manner :)
  • iamdimenazhena
    iamdimenazhena Posts: 36
    You should do the decent thing and let them know. They're a human being too. They have feelings.

    Agree
  • Princess41463
    Princess41463 Posts: 39 Member
    Reverse the roles here...what would you want them to do? Personally, I hate it when someone just blows me off with no explanation, but it's also awkward - for both sides - to have that conversation. So, generally I still talk to them but when they ask me to do something with them I start by telling them I've already made other plans. Once there's a little more distance between you the conversation becomes easier.
  • Quasita
    Quasita Posts: 1,530 Member
    If you don't put a solid end to it, you leave yourself open to the lingering "where are you" emails and calls. You're not saying they are crazy, you said that it's not going anywhere, so obviously you must like them enough to not want to be a jerk... So you care, and so you should act like you do.

    If it's early in the interactions and you're not exclusive to any extent, and it's only been like 2 dates that were initiated by you, I think it's acceptable to just stop calling but don't ignore them if they follow up. Just be point blank honest about it.
  • MB_Positif
    MB_Positif Posts: 8,897 Member
    Definitely let them know.
  • katekross
    katekross Posts: 463 Member
    This happened to me twice in a row where they both just completely dropped off the face of the earth. One was because I didn't put out on the first date. The other one claimed he was needy and wanted me to be in the same town-- I was away at school. Just don't do it, I took it very personal which how couldn't I!? I'm a nice person and wouldn't hurt a fly... guys are *kitten*. Don't be one. Be honest, be forward... you'll be respected for it.
  • CourtLiv
    CourtLiv Posts: 68 Member
    Let them know...

    Ten years ago, when I was in college, I basically faded away from a relationship, I still feel guilty about it to this day. It was selfish for me to handle things the way I did....
  • ChristyRunStarr
    ChristyRunStarr Posts: 1,600 Member
    Reverse the roles here...what would you want them to do? Personally, I hate it when someone just blows me off with no explanation, but it's also awkward - for both sides - to have that conversation. So, generally I still talk to them but when they ask me to do something with them I start by telling them I've already made other plans. Once there's a little more distance between you the conversation becomes easier.

    Exactly what I was going to say. It all goes back to the whole "treat others as you'd like to be treated" saying. You'd hate it if someone just stopped repling to you right? It can be short and sweet, it doesn't have to be some big long drawn out thing.
  • MellyGibson
    MellyGibson Posts: 297 Member
    You can explain to them that you just don't see this going anywhere....no blame, no harshness, no insults. You just have different goals, you're moving in diferent directions, you don't want to be unfair. ANYTHING!

    I've had the other person disappear off of the face of the earth before. Even though I AGREED that we weren't going anwhere, it still hurts that he didn't respect me enough to tell me anything. If I wasn't friends with his mom on Facebook I would have been worried that he was hurt or in trouble. He had a bit of a self-distructive personality....
  • Colliex3
    Colliex3 Posts: 328 Member
    Just had to throw out there... I wasnt the one to drop of the face of the earth lol.... its what happened to me,,, I agree with all of you...
  • Lyssa62
    Lyssa62 Posts: 930 Member
    tell them...tell them now!!!
  • Katemarie34
    Katemarie34 Posts: 144 Member
    Most people fall of the face of the earth like that because they don't know how to confront people, or because they're keeping you thinking about it- and will come back when whatever they left for isn't working anymore... If that happened to you, just delete his number, and don't give him the satisfaction of answering him anymore, because usually if a guy does that he'll say something out of no where some other time like no big deal :)
  • JustJennie1
    JustJennie1 Posts: 3,749 Member
    Tell them face to face like an adult. We're not in grade school any more.
  • anifani4
    anifani4 Posts: 457 Member
    Why do you even need to ask? Either you are a person of integrity (in which case you'd talk to the person) or you're not (in which case you'd disappear). Who are you?
  • katekross
    katekross Posts: 463 Member
    Tell them face to face like an adult. We're not in grade school any more.
    Aaaaaamen!!
  • 2muchsauce
    2muchsauce Posts: 1,078
    At 26 years old I'm surprised you have to ask this question !
  • MireyGal76
    MireyGal76 Posts: 7,334 Member
    Yes this isnt fitness related, but not everything on this site seems to be lol.. but I have alittle question and thought someone might be able to answer this for me...

    If your seeing someone and you decided its not going where you want ...do you just drop of the face of the earth, or do you do the decent thing and let them know your not interested?

    you answered it yourself... see bold text above
  • EatClean_WashUrNuts
    EatClean_WashUrNuts Posts: 1,590 Member
    The only person this question matters to is yourself. Pending on how you see yourself is how you will react.....if it's you.
  • BrittKnee_Rae
    BrittKnee_Rae Posts: 111 Member
    I tell them straight up that I don't see a future with them.. (or whatever the reason) I wouldn't want someone to go MIA on me suddenly, without an explanation and make me wonder! Its rude.. Treat others the way you wish to be treated!! The truth shall set you free :)
  • Cherry_blossom73
    Cherry_blossom73 Posts: 51 Member
    I would say something. I've been on the bad side of that....a goodbye would have been nice.
  • xMonroeMisfit
    xMonroeMisfit Posts: 411 Member
    :huh:

    Just be honest. Would you want someone to just drop off the face of the Earth leaving you not sure what's going on?
  • Strobins05
    Strobins05 Posts: 716
    I always think of the circle of life, you never know when you may see this person again or need them. It's always best to end on good terms for YOUR sake :flowerforyou:

    good luck chuck!
  • SomeoneSomeplace
    SomeoneSomeplace Posts: 1,094 Member
    Unless you're a 12 year old child you have the decency to say "Hey this isn't working for me because of XYZ"

    It takes in incredibly selfish person not to at least say something

    But hey if you're that person (not saying you are) then whoever you're dumping is a lot better without you.

    How hard is is to really just say "I can't/don't want to be with you because _____ or I want to break up because__________, seriously just be an adult , put our your big girl/big boy panties and be honest with someone.

    Don't play stupid mind games.

    I'd rather a guy tell me "Hey I just wanted to f*** and you don't want that, I don't want anyone to get hurt so I think it's better we go our separate ways" then to just like bail with no explanation. I've been in the situation where someone wanted something more serious and I just wasn't feeling it and/or wasn't interested in a serious relationship and I'm just honest with the person. I mean really it's NOT that hard!
  • mewaybright
    mewaybright Posts: 240 Member
    Give them the courtesy of an explanation. I mean they will get the hint if you just vanish but that in essence is burning a bridge and making an enemy in life… why would you want to go there. I would also ask if you yourself would appreciate a guy just dropping off the face of the earth. You never know when you may need to ask for help from an ex and if you parted on good terms they may well be happy to help when you need it.

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