Support from your family

Jurce

Do your family members support you in reaching your goals or make it harder? I'm trying to convince my husband not to buy any fast food, crisps and not to eat them in front of me. There is a little progress so far but not as big as I would like.

plaingirly

My mum and brother are supportive and my dad isn't supportive at all.

The house is full of chocolate, pringles, cakes, just everything I struggle to resist! Even the supportive members of my family still buy this stuff and it tempts me so much! x

beachlover317

My husband and lab, Sam (dog) eat fast food about 2 X a month. They eat it in front of me. They also eat cookies, ice cream and other assorted treats in front of me. But I am the one that has changed my eating habits. It is important to me that I get healthy. My husband is thin, has no issues with sugar. So, I am not going to make him change his whole life because I need to get healthy and lose weight. This is my thing and I don't see it as "not supporting me" if he eats things that I now choose not to eat. It was hard at first, but now? If I even smell a McDonald's cheese burger it makes me sick.

Decide how badly you want to eat healthy and then you will do it. Good luck! :drinker:

bsmith404

My thing is that this your journey not there's. Why do they have to get rid of the junk because of your temptation. I eat gluten free but i'm not going to make my whole family eat gluten free. I have two lactose kids and I love dairy so i'm not going to not buy it.

My family and husband fully supports me. I'm home with the kids during this Christmas vacation and my husband either goes to work later so I can take a early class at the gym or I leave as soon as he gets home so I can go to the gym. I'm starting a half marathon training program today and last night sat down with my husband and said that i'll need his support. My last 10K he broght me sneakers and workout clothes as a gift.

On the other hand My husband also eatswhatever he wants: fast food, soda, candy bars. I don't mind that he brings in the house and sometimes we go to lunch and eat fast food and we split up. He gets his burger and fries and i'll get a salad and then we eat together. I have no desire to eat that stuff but if I wanted it i'll get it. Mcdonalds here have gluten free bread for burgers and every now and then i'll eat it.

I hope they support you as far as encouraging you but when eating your always going to be faced with temptations. You have a choice and the choice is yours.

lirr10185

My husband has never had weight issues and can watch me work out and lose a couple pounds. With that said, he refuses to eat the same things as me. When he sees me eating something healthy, he is almost guaranteed to say it looks disgusting. I do all the cooking so I still have to make these delicious meals and cannot join him. I have to chew gum while I cook just so the smell won't do me in. Its hard but I just try to stay focused and allow myself a cheat day so I don't feel completely left out.

annams76

My husband is destructive to my progress. He constantly wants to go out and eat and it is typically fast food. I have gotten to the point where I refuse to go get it for him and I make sure I cook something for myself.

JustANumber85

kind of. My husband was semi on board and now hes not. Hes supportive but not on board. My parents, more my mom are not one way or the other. I brought my own food to their house for Christmas and she made a comment. Ya know what though? I look at it this way- when i go on vacation with them next summer and im rockin a string bikini and shes in a cover up- well its because i busted my *kitten*.

AtlantaWriter

This is a difficult one, Jurce. Since we're supposed to be eating healthier (not just be on some crash diet), it would seem logical to have our families eat healthier too. After all, we want them to be healthy as well, right? But it doesn't always work that way. Families (especially husbands) are going to pretty much eat as they want. So my suggestion is to have your own food on hand for when your husband is eating something that looks good. You don't have to eliminate all those foods like crisps, either. I eat what we call "chips" over here because I love them, but I only eat a small portion (10 at a time, usually with a sandwich). I also adapt recipes to make them less caloric. I make my own salad dressing using light mayonnaise and shave off about 100 calories a serving. I know it's hard to do this by yourself, but you can do it! And we're all behind you! Go to some of the blogs here and read what others are doing as well. Best of luck!

GSPL_GRL

My husband does try to support me but only within his limits. What I mean is when I want to go on my elliptical he wants me to snuggle and watch tv. Stuff like that. But I see it as a challenge more then as a destructive force. Society will try to derail us. If we can resist the pressure from within our own families it makes us stronger to resist society.

LoraF83

My husband and lab, Sam (dog) eat fast food about 2 X a month. They eat it in front of me. They also eat cookies, ice cream and other assorted treats in front of me. But I am the one that has changed my eating habits. It is important to me that I get healthy. My husband is thin, has no issues with sugar. So, I am not going to make him change his whole life because I need to get healthy and lose weight. This is my thing and I don't see it as "not supporting me" if he eats things that I now choose not to eat. It was hard at first, but now? If I even smell a McDonald's cheese burger it makes me sick.

Decide how badly you want to eat healthy and then you will do it. Good luck! :drinker:

Quoting for wisdom - this lady has a handle on it - listen to her!!

I don't expect my family to accomodate me 100% of the time. If my husband wants McDonald's, then he can have it. If I go to my in-laws and they are serving something very high calorie, I don't eat too much of it. WE are the ones responsible for ourselves. Learning to work your intake level/diet around a variety of situations is part of making a lifestyle change.

texasgal22

I get more verbal support than actual support; like so many others he doesn't think he needs "improvement" :laugh: But to get any support is helpful. You just have to realize you are doing this for your own physical well-being & to enjoy the moments of your life.

quirkytizzy

My boyfriend has been supportive of my efforts, but has not changed his eating habits. In comes the soda and the candy every week. Sometimes bags of it. I've had to learn portion control and how to stay out of his side of the apartment where he stores it.

I cannot demand that he not bring these items into the house. He is my boyfriend, not my child. And in the end, this is my decision, not his. It's hard at first, but after a few times of over-eating on junk food and realizing I've squandered my calories (and not wanting to be miserable with hunger later trying to keep at goal), it got easier to stay out of it all.

stephdeeable

My boyfriend eats entire pizzas in front of me. It doesn't bother me. I'm trying to change my habits, not his. The world is not going to change just because you are, so we have to learn to live with temptation. I think the amount of temptation around me(my boyfriends eating habits plus working in fast food) has actually helped me more than it has hurt me.

With that being said, my boyfriend is very supportive of me. He never tries to talk me into eating things, and when I do eat junk he never questions or shames me. I doubt he would be as supportive if I told him not to bring chips into the house. He'd probably pack my suitcase :laugh:

susanswan

It's nice to know that the general consensus here is it is OUR journey, not theirs. I've had to say no while DH sits on the couch and eats cookies and ice cream and bags of potato chips, and crackers and cheese.

And yes, I believe that my husband should adopt my healthy eating habits, but he'll only go so far. I am aiming at about 80% vegan. We both don't use olive oil or salt for "regular" cooking. He has agreed to eat lots more salads and veggie dishes with me in addition to his regular food and glasses of wine. Although he has noticed that he can't handle heavy Mexican food any more like he used to,or eat large amounts of meat anymore like his own 16 ounce T-bone or slab of baby back ribs. So yea!! But I buy him sugary treats now and then but he'll buy the bags of potato chips. I told him I will not buy him regular supplies of junk food or wine any more.

billsica

Your trying to force your husband to restrict what he eats? Good luck with that one.

LoveMyLife_NYC

I don't care so much what food is in the house. Their food choices are theirs, and my food choices are mine. My mom does the food shopping, and if there's not enough healthy food in the house, I'll go out and buy salad or seafood and cook something healthy for myself to eat throughout the week.

What gets me are negative comments. My mom is obese and I am a healthy weight. I work out and she doesn't. She's taken it upon herself to inform the rest of the family that I have an eating disorder and my gym time is ruining my body. She is hateful and nasty and mean when she says these things, and they come out of the blue. If she were worried about me and approached this like she loved me - by taking me aside and opening a one to one dialogue, I might feel differently. But her comments are downright rude. It's putting a big strain on our relationship.

DawnieB1977

My husband is really supportive most of the time. He eats the healthy meals I cook. If he wants to have a snack later I don't mind. We don't usually buy crisps/biscuits/cakes etc. If we want something like a cake then we make it ourselves. My husband makes pancakes sometimes and I just don't eat one. He's ordered pizza a couple of times over the past few months and I didn't eat any at all.

When I visit my parents they always have healthy food. My mum always asks me what i want her to buy. She always makes healthy food anyway.

acpatts

My family is somewhat supportive. They don't change what they are eating but will make an effort to have something healthy available for me if I ask. My husband is good about either not bringing bad stuff home, or hiding it from me when he does. At the end of the day it is your own journey. Just because its there doesn't mean you have to eat it. The whole world is filled with food your shouldn't eat. You cant close down every fast food place just because you don't want some. With my husband I have found drawing a parallel to something he likes helps, i.e. I remind him that me taking the kids so he can work out or hang out with friends is on the same level as him not eating fast food in front of me all the time.

Jurce

Thank you all for sharing your thoughts with me!!!! I do agree this is my journey. However, I want my husband to be healthy and fit and in future when we have kids, I want them to have a good example from both parents. Sometimes when you don't know something, you don't realize how good or bad it is. So I learn myself and share new things with my hubby:) We are together in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health.........:) Good luck everyone!!!!!!:)

dcerna62

My parents invite my husband, children and I out for dinner but they always choose the unhealthiest places. They know I'm dieting and It drives me nuts. I feel bad for declining all the time but I've mentioned so many times that I'm trying to lose weight. My husband is always snacking and eating whatever he wants. He tells me to try something and if I say no, he gets upset. I remind him that I'm dieting but it's like he doesnt care. It's hard to diet when you don't have the support of your family.

Maidofmer

Do your family members support you in reaching your goals or make it harder? I'm trying to convince my husband not to buy any fast food, crisps and not to eat them in front of me. There is a little progress so far but not as big as I would like.

they don't intend to, but they sabotage you the whole way. I think my husband would go into shock if he had anything but fast food and soda, even if I make a nice healthy dinner, he'll find some way. load up on ice cream after or something. and of course, hes tall and skinny. my in laws... they know i'm trying to lose weight, even showed them an eating schedule I was thinking of, but if I don't eat like two full dinner plates of something, which I don't, they get offended and god help me. so, they make it harder. me and people on here, and my baby, that's my support group.

JoniBologna

My family has been extremely supportive. However, they certainly do not keep junk food away from me. It is up to me to be strong and smart about situations with junk food. Honestly though, the hardest is the relationship with your significant other. My last boyfriend was not on board with getting healthy. When I finally did, it was a big determining factor in the end of our relationship. My new boyfriend is extremely active. He used to be much heavier as well, so he gets it. We work out together 75% of the time. We support each others fitness goals. We also both eat to be healthy. Generally, I have found it much more helpful to have someone who is empathetic to my situation and on the same page.
My advice to you: hang in there. Most of my family now eats healthier because they have been inspired by my transformation. Keep reaching for your goal, and I'm sure he will cave and follow your lead.

AwesomeSquirrel

I just spent two weeks with my parents and they are very supportive, though possibly I have different expectations from you. I will preface this by saying that my family doesn't eat much junk food but we cook with cream and butter and have a lot of desserts and sweets. My parents work out a little bit (Mum does group classes at the gym and Dad does gentle gym practice) and are in their mid-60s.

I don't expect them to purge their fridge and pantry for my stay - I'm a grown up capable of my own decisions. In fact I bring them some chocolate and biscuits from abroad that I know they will enjoy.

I do expect to be allowed to give input on our main meal (lunch) and I offer to cook some of my food. I expect them t be supportive in trying some new foods which they are. For other meals I expect to be allowed to make my own choices within reason. Eg. I have porridge for breakfast when they have sandwiches or toast, and I might have scrambled eggs and ham for dinner when they have ham sandwiches.

I don't expect them to give up eating dessert (we always have dessert after lunch and often a little something with our evening coffee). I do expect to be asked before being dished up for and for my "no thanks" to be respected. I still stay at the table and socialise with my hot drink while they eat - I don't mind. They won't have something I really like unless I also have dessert so Mum saves that for a day when I have allowed for it in my calories.

I do expect them to be positive in relation to exercise. They kindly agreed to drive me to a nice trail for running multiple times during my stay and took the opportunity to take a short walk themselves. I really appreciated that.

I always make sure that there is a pitcher of water on the table for a meal drink.

dorothytd

One of the ways we avoided some of this without making a big deal of it was to start preparing more family meals. And by "we," I mean "me." The challenge for me was to feed them something tasty that wasn't a calorie buster. Love a challenge!! But that was a number of years ago and the family has come such a long way! My husband now helps with the cooking sometimes and is motivated to do more when we love his creations. And since he has learned a lot of his cooking from me - also uses healthier methods. He struggles with his weight, too. I so agree with all of those who emphasize that this is your journey. It stinks to watch/smell someone else eat yummy stuff when you're restricted, but it is worth it. Good luck getting to a healthier you!!!

110839

:blushing: Having gained another stone (14 lbs)!!!!!!! I have today decided to have a serious crack at losing 21 lbs by Easter - or as near as I can reasonably manage. It has been a very bad couple of years with family illness and loss but we have to go on, so this seems a positive way to move forward. My daughter also has a (lesser)weight issue and is encouraging - she introduced me to the fitness pal site a couple of years ago. I will also get one or two minor mobility issues sorted to facilitate more exercise. Exercise alone often feels pointless if it hasn't a focus and I am not one for workouts or gyms, so I hope to get a dog in the spring which will make me walk more. I will also be VERY careful in using loads of left-over Christmas food as occasional treats - now mostly in the freezer to stop me grazing!

MooMyuu

My dad sees me losing weight and is afraid that I'm going to become anorexic (my uncle passed away this year from his battle with anorexia so my family is a little high strung and nervous when someone says they want to lose weight).

My mom is supportive and glad I'm doing it.
My boyfriend is my biggest support.

Honestly, dating my ex was a pain when I switched pollo-vegetarian. I dropped red meat and my ex kept eating it. Thankfully, my new boyfriend is also pollo-vegetarian. He's also a crazy health nut and a nutritionist by hobby (he's korean too and his dad is a doctor of oriental medicine). So as far as temptation, there isn't any.

He is so supportive of me. He removes temptation often by saying all the health risks I pose to myself eating this stuff.

I'm probably going to step on toes here, but it's not a thing of removing temptation... I think people should stop buying junk anyway. Just because your significant other is slim doesn't mean they're healthy. In fitness there is a thing called "Skinny Fat." and these are people who are very slim with low muscle mass. They are at the same risks as obese people.

EVERYONE should make healthier lifestyle changes and choices, regardless of whether they want to lose weight or not.
We are what we eat and our body is only as efficient as the fuel we feed it.

torrini

My family's very supportive but my mum wants me to come over for dinner so often that it's getting kind of problematic. The food she makes is generally pretty healthy (lots of veggies, low fat etc) but her portions are out of control so I always end up eating too much. During school time I try to visit them only once a week so I don't constantly over eat.

110839

:flowerforyou: I suspect that, underneath, your mother is envious of the way you look and may not realise how hurtful she is. When I was working I had issues with a fat grandmother who insisted that her 4 y.o. granddaughter was anorexic, because in the honest and tactless way that small children can be, the granddaughter had announced during one battle over food that "I don't want to be fat like you". Mother was sensible, but Grandma was likely to encourage anorexia in the child - who by the way was a perfect weight for her height and age. If your weight is truly healthy as you say, I suggest that if you possible can, try not to react to your mother's barbed comments, and any similar from the rest of the family. As an adult you are responsible to yourself. The comments will lessen eventually if you don't rise to them - easier said than done!

alexbusnello

My mum and brother are supportive and my dad isn't supportive at all.

The house is full of chocolate, pringles, cakes, just everything I struggle to resist! Even the supportive members of my family still buy this stuff and it tempts me so much! x

There is always junk in my house, too.... it's very annoying. : ( I wish they would stop.