How do you get a positive attitude?
BarbaraCarr1981
Posts: 903 Member
Just wondering how you get a positive attitude. I HATE how rude I am to myself. Always feel like a failure. Mirror is my worst enemy. I always see a weird looking belly from insulin injections and just plain old fat and 2 ugly scars on my forehead from having to wear a halo brace due to a broken neck. I get even worse when I go to my closet to see if I can fit into my small jeans again. Im close to fitting into them but frig I've been trying to lose all this pregnancy weight for 12 months now. No wonder Im a mess!
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Take all your anger and frustration and season it liberally with a sense of humor. Then look yourself in the mirror and say, "I don't like everything about you, but I'm stuck with you, and if anyone else gives you grief, I'll kick their tail for you, cause you're the only me I get."
Then go workout.
Works for me.0 -
Surround your self with positive people..
When you get dressed look in the mirror and say da mn i look good!
Even when I'm in work out clothes or jammies im always like aww! I'm so cute!
Be kind to yourself!
Your almost into those jeans you should be proud of yourself for what you've accomplished!
Look at things glass half full!!
You have your beautiful baby & it was worth it! & that your here to take care of her/him!
Wear your scars proudly!
If you haven't noticed I'm one of those "positive"0 -
**** happens rite? Same as u dear.......0
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I had to remind myself - A LOT - that the self-loathing never did anything but put more weight on me. It doesn't work, even if it feels like that's what I "should" be doing. It was very conscience in the beginning - constantly talking out loud to myself saying gentle and encouraging things. I made at least one positive update on my status every day. And I scoured the success stories - seeing how much they were able to do made me realize that I could do it, too, if I just stayed true to myself.
It's much, much easier now.0 -
Yep you are right! I need to be kind to myself and just keep working at it. Cuz if other people can do it than so can I. Right? or not? what about people who get nice bellies because they don't have to take 5 shots of insulin a day? I have to and because of that I don't think its possible for me to have a nice belly - just an ugly one that no matter how hard I work at it that it will always be ugly. Something to look forward to eh?0
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I am soo negative to myself too!! I keep trying to plug away at it.0
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The first thing you have to accept is you for YOU! Often our weight loss problems are more mental then physical. Once you can accept who you are and then work on what you would like to change, it will become much easier. Time, patience and consistency will be your 3 best friends. You will do great once you can get out of your own way. Make it a goal for 2013!
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Constant conscious effort to recognise the positive. And a complete refusal to value myself only on my physical 'beauty'.0
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" I always see a weird looking belly ...."..... I see a beautiful young woman that is most likely a wonderful mother. You can wake up every morning feeling guilty, ugly and bad. OR , , , you can realize that in life, it's all about perception. You can do whatever you set your mind to, and be whatever you aim for. I'm a successful engineer, husband, father & grandfather and I've felt EXACTLY like you many, many times. You get a positive attitude by taking steps, every day to be the best you can be. Trying your best, seeking out purpose and meaning in the things that you do. Your attitude is a decision that you make everyday. CHOOSE to do & be the best you can everyday.0
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Your attitude is a decision that you make everyday. CHOOSE to do & be the best you can everyday.
^^ This. Sometimes happiness just happens, but more often, it is a decision.0 -
^^AGREED!!" I always see a weird looking belly ...."..... I see a beautiful young woman that is most likely a wonderful mother.
I feel the same way as you. I never struggled with motivation and happiness. I worked out every morning, ate well was at a great weight until I got sick. I have 80lbs roughly to loose. I was on 6 different medications and the weight continued to add up. I have stretch marks on my stomach, cant fit into clothes etc. I have a hard time finding something I actually like about myself so something as simple as getting my hair coloured/cut will lift my spirits.
I looked at your profile pic and you are so beautiful. If you are concerned about your stomach concentrate on another part you may like about yourself and flaunt it!!0 -
In the beginning of my journey, it was difficult to be "positive." But, my first little success, which I FORCED from myself, and which was a 0.6 lb. loss in the first week, changed my attitude completely. Every little bit of success made me believe I could repeat that success. And you know what? Most of the time, I lost 0.6 per week. Sometimes, I lost a whole pound. But the real treat were the couple of time that I lost 2 entire pounds in a week. Every time I lose SOMETHING, I learn that I CAN lose this weight. Close to goal now, and feeling motivated and proud. The point is that I just needed ONE solid success to give me a "positive attitude." Woot!0
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Hi!
I hope you don't mind my recommendation but here's something I would suggest reading. I've never been much for 'self help' books. I've always thought of myself as optimistic, and I still found many, many takeaways.
The Little Gold Book of YES! Attitude
http://www.amazon.com/Little-Gold-Book-YES-Attitude/dp/0131986473
I found it to be a quick and easy fantastic read....
ETA
It's geared toward business, but can be applied to anything. I happen to be in sales.
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I goto the store and buy it.. :laugh:0
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This is something we all need to work on. My best advice is to treat yourself with as much respect as you would a stranger. I see people my size and bigger and think they look pretty good, then I look at myself and tear myself apart for being a fat loser. I would never say that to a stranger! When you look in the mirror and start with the negative thoughts stop yourself and think of the things you should be proud of. Like changing your life one day at a time. As for scars, I have many and I look at them as badges of honor!0
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I haven't figured it out yet either. But you're not alone! :flowerforyou:0
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When I was a teenager, I decided to "become an optimist" one year for Lent. I took every "bad" situation and pointed out 3 positives about it (some of them took some creativity). It worked.
Now I'm a jaded b**** because of a crappy ex. I'm working on fixing that. hah.0 -
Good people and if that dont work then its good music and a hard workout0
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Life is too short for all that. I have tons of people who are willing to criticize me so I will not criticize myself. Try focusing on the good about you and ignore the negative...please always be polite and not rude to the person you see in the mirror.0
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Just wondering how you get a positive attitude. I HATE how rude I am to myself. Always feel like a failure. Mirror is my worst enemy. I always see a weird looking belly from insulin injections and just plain old fat and 2 ugly scars on my forehead from having to wear a halo brace due to a broken neck. I get even worse when I go to my closet to see if I can fit into my small jeans again. Im close to fitting into them but frig I've been trying to lose all this pregnancy weight for 12 months now. No wonder Im a mess!
Would you say any of those unkind words to a close friend? Treat yourself as kindly as you would them. That's what I always remind myself. I've struggled with self-esteem issues since I was a kid, whether I was thin or overweight didn't matter. It's constant work for me to be good to myself and focus on the positive things I have done.
Measure your progess in small steps and surround yourself with positive people who can support and motivate you--it will really help.0 -
I took all my negative energy I wasted on myself and turned it into a different comment. Instead of telling myself "You are such a failure, you can't even do this!" I try to think "Don't you dare quit now! This is simple. You can do this!"
It sounds simple, but it took a long time to turn it around. So much focus, tumblr and the random positive self love junk, journaling till I was sick of it. And, just plain tired of all the happy people around me having all the glory.0 -
Have you always been this negative, or has it just been since you had your baby? Did you grow up in a negative household? I'm hearing something a lot deeper than just being a few pounds overweight. Do you struggle with depression? You might want to consult with a therapist if this has become the norm for you. At your age, and with a beautiful baby, you should be loving life right now. Are you type I diabetic? Maybe your numbers are off and causing some hormone imbalances. I'd definitely talk to your doctor about your feelings. Something sounds off.0
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self esteem...
if you dont have it start by doing things like coming up with a list of 10 awesome things about you everyday, try to come up with different things every day
be kinder to yourself, so whenever you see yourself starting to get down on yourself then stop your thoughts by going over what you've done right
make some realistic goals and make milestones to meet those goals. when you reach those milestones then bust out your best happy dance moves like this guy
and if you don't have a happy dance, it's time to come up with one 0 -
Are you going to love your kid any less the first time a scabby knee turns into a scarred knee? If not, why treat yourself any worse? You don't have to like everything about your physical appearance (no one does) but for your kid's sake as well as your own, don't hate yourself or be so bitter about it.0
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Thanks for the advice people. I really like the statement "Treat yourself as you would treat a stranger"!!! I have only ever knew the statement "Treat others the way you would like to be treated" Well F that for now! I want to "Treat me the way I would treat others"
I will always hate the scars on my forehead. But on the positive side, most days my hair cooperates and my bangs cover them. As for the belly, I know it will become smaller as I lose these last 12lbs BUT I can at least hope that it will someday become flat.
Unfortunately I will not be able to have any more babies since I cannot mentally put myself through weight loss again. On the positive side - there is always adoptions. My father once said " I was adopted. There's nothing wrong with me, is there???" Win win situation.0 -
This is the third time i have tried to loose weight ....So far so good !
Set yourself small-goals ...say 5 kilograms to start with then when you reach there try for a little more :flowerforyou:
Stop looking in the mirror ...only get weighed once a week in the morning ...with same clothes ( helps ) ...
Work on your food choices... log your diary and exercise ...being a diabetic will be a little harder for you ....but make it a challenge.
Your not a loan there ... My stomach has a massive big scare on it and no belly button ...due to a double Hernia ...That was missed diagnosed and i had major surgery .... to stop complications . Doesn't bother me any more as i am lucky to be alive . Your thoughts are what brings you down ...not your body and how it looks ...:flowerforyou:
Thinking positive is the answer....When i started this journey my doctor said only 1 kilogram a month ...and set my calories for me .
Reason being i suffer with Chronic Anxiety and panic disorder ...big weight loss can upset the nervous system .
Can you imagine how i felt when all my friends are loosing a lot and i am plodding along at i kilo a month ?
Well one year has passed and i am 13 kilos lighter ...and 10 to go ..... only had a 0.5 gain on my journey . Yes i have good and bad days and mood swings also ... But if you have more good days than bad it will level out .:happy:
Wish you all the best on this journey ...and remember it is not a race .... and success will be yours !0 -
Have you always been this negative, or has it just been since you had your baby? Did you grow up in a negative household? I'm hearing something a lot deeper than just being a few pounds overweight. Do you struggle with depression? You might want to consult with a therapist if this has become the norm for you. At your age, and with a beautiful baby, you should be loving life right now. Are you type I diabetic? Maybe your numbers are off and causing some hormone imbalances. I'd definitely talk to your doctor about your feelings. Something sounds off.
I don't seem to be this negative when I weigh 140lbs. I was this weight in highschool. Then had to lose in my early 20ies then had to lose again when i was 29. Then I had a baby at 30 and now Im trying to lose again - and pray its the last effing time!!!!
No I didn't grow up in a negative household. No I don't struggle with depression. Yes, I am Type 1 diabetic. My sugars have been all over the place during the holidays (crazy eating thats why) I also deal with hypothyroidism. (controlled by a daily pill) I am very hostile towards diabetes though - I blame alot of things that are they way they are all because of diabetes. I curse it day and night.0 -
It takes a lot of work! Recognize when you have a negative thought or experience & try your best to turn it into a positive.
This sounds corny- but make a conscious effort to smile a lot - it does lift spirits
Hang out with positive minded people & limit your time with negative people
Read encouraging quotes & books
This is something I've worked very hard on myself for a number of years. It can be done!0 -
Loving yourself is easier said than done...I know this from experience.0
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Recommendation: "What to Say When You Talk to Yourself" by Shad Hemstetter - it's a $9 book all about self-talk and overriding those inner negative voices... I don't know the author have no vested interest in it, but it helped me a lot particularly with my health and making some changes in how I "spoke" or thought about myself.0
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