Sexy Chinese Food Guy, Part Two

heatherlee33
heatherlee33 Posts: 113 Member
in Chit-Chat
For all of you that did not see part one...many months ago. This is how it went: March/April in PC, Utah (still snowing), I've been painting all day at my moms and we decide to go out to Chinese food for lunch. I'm super stoked, CHINESE, yay! There is not a lot of good Chinese in Utah...but this is a good one. I've been working all day, I;m hungry...and a little more than disheveled looking. But I'm excited. So we roll up into the Chinese place and the Waiter comes around to greet us and I'm smiling, number one because I'm friendly anyway, number two cuz I am so happy to be eating Chinese food! And this waiter, who I have seen many times there, looks me up and down, see;s my smile and gives me this arched brow look that sends an arrow right into my heart. This look says, "why are you smiling at me Troll?" I'm not just being a girl here, this was actually a mean look...then I start to be a girl and all my faults, my 158 pound fat sitting on my tiny 5'3 frame, my hair that needs...something, and well, my general look of, I gave up on this **** long ago.

It ruined my day, and I came home and started logging on to this site, and lost 26 pounds. Which I have kept off, so far. I am happy with how I look now, I'm happy to be a size 10. I feel comfortable, and not fat. Although I have to admit. I look better with my clothes on. I'm 34 and 132 pounds looked a lot different on me when I was younger. But, I am satisfied.

Part 2.
A week ago I ended up shopping with my mom and we decided to go to that same Chinese place, that I haven't been to since this all started. Now don't get me wrong, I''m married, with two kids. I don't want to date this guy, I just want to not have a random stranger look at me like I'm a disgusting science experiment. SO mom and I walk in. I'm not too excited because I don't have makeup on and I really didn't come prepared to face this guy. But, I'm 26 pounds less. I look pretty good. So I'm ready.

And disappointed. The guy was not there, instead there was this 90 pound-perfect skinned-Asian beauty. Ugh. Another hit to the heart. I was feeling great, I was ready for this. But my head fill's with, "I should be more like her, I should be smaller, I should get botox shots and look younger, I suck, blah, blah, blah". (Sucks to be a girl sometimes)

SO I'm in my own little world of regret and self-hate and I follow the Asian beauty to our table. And just before I sit down, I catch a look at the back of her hair. Which has a large blonde chunk bleached out in the back. (I'm blonde too). And I have this epiphany. This beautiful, tiny, amazing looking girl....has insecurities just like me, and clearly envied something that I had that I was born with, just like I envied her tiny frame. Immediately I reigned in my destructive thoughts and replaced it with this one.

You and me both hunny.

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