Rude comments at the gym

lisforlaurenn

So the other day I was working with my trainer and I noticed two particularly loud teenage boys in the gym. I didn't really think much of it until we got closer to them as we were making our rounds on the machines. I heard some snickering and laughter from them which I was pretty sure was directed me since I'm pretty overweight, or for lack of a better phrase fat.

We moved away from them again and the last exercise we did happened to be opposite from them on the same machine which I was pretty much dreading. So I was doing my core rips as my trainer watched and one of them said something to the effect of "Someone's getting big in here" and they kept saying other various loud things about being big, laughing, and just being generally obnoxious, which I'm almost positive were directed at me. I know my trainer kinda caught on as well because he sort of shot me a sympathetic glance after they left the area we were in.

So my question is, should I have said something to them or to the gym manager? I didn't say anything to anyone at the time and tried to just brush it off. I don't plan on going back and complaining or anything but what if it happens again? Has anyone ever been in a similar situation and if so what did you do?

JameeraSaif

Speak with the gym manager. I personally pay too much money for my gym membership to be harassed by someone's kids. If I was told my children were rude and obnoxious in a public forum, they wouldn't be allowed back into that forum until they grew up. If its a good gym they will take care of that for you. I work out at the Y and there are standards of conduct for gym participants.

lisforlaurenn

Good point, I purchased a year membership so you're right I'm paying money I should be able to workout without harassment . If it happens again I'll speak with the manager.

KenosFeoh

I agree with speaking to the manager about people being obnoxious and rude. It shouldn't be tolerated.

But do try to avoid assuming rude comments are about you. I remember years ago that every time I was walking toward someone who seemed to be looking my way, if they then said something to each other and then laughed or said something rude out loud - I always assumed it was about me. I worked through this with a therapist and learned that a person's behavior says a lot more about that person than about me, and most people are too self-absorbed to notice or care what I'm doing.

P.S: When I see someone really fat and out of shape working out at my fitness club, all I think is "good for you!"

lisforlaurenn

That's true, it's possible that they weren't directed at me. But I'm pretty sure they were in this case. I guess regardless if they were or weren't comments meant for me all I can do is try to not let it get to me.

Aviva92

I agree with speaking to the manager about people being obnoxious and rude. It shouldn't be tolerated.

But do try to avoid assuming rude comments are about you. I remember years ago that every time I was walking toward someone who seemed to be looking my way, if they then said something to each other and then laughed or said something rude out loud - I always assumed it was about me. I worked through this with a therapist and learned that a person's behavior says a lot more about that person than about me, and most people are too self-absorbed to notice or care what I'm doing.

P.S: When I see someone really fat and out of shape working out at my fitness club, all I think is "good for you!"

these were teenage boys though. at that age they are known for being obnoxious and not having a filter. i would probably think she's correct in her assumption.

misskerouac

Your trainer should have said something if they work for the gym.
That crap should not be happening.
If it happens again I would talk to the manager.

You pay to be there and should feel comfortable being there.

lisforlaurenn

Thank you all for your input. You know it didn't even occur to me that my trainer probably should have said something because he does work for the gym and I think he noticed it also. I'm gonna ask him the next time I see him to confirm this.

marsellient

If your trainer won't do anything call them on their behaviour. If it happened again, I'd suggest stopping what you are doing and making eye contact with them....wide eyed, questioning eye contact. Tell them their loud conversation is distracting you from your program. If you have to really get into a confrontation, then someone at the gym should back you up. If not, I'd be asking for my money back! You are working on improving your health. Don't let anything get in the way!

JamesCrush

I think that is so rude. Stupid kids will be stupid kids though. I think you should tell the gym manager about them. They may be doing the same to other people. Kodos to you for doing strong work at the gym. Keep up the good work!

sm1zzle

Good point, I purchased a year membership so you're right I'm paying money I should be able to workout without harassment . If it happens again I'll speak with the manager.

Don't wait. Do it the next time you're at the gym.

sarahmichelle91xx

How rude, who are they to judge! I personally think your trainer should have said something to them. Have you by any chance considered a female only gym?

MusicInMyHeart

these were teenage boys though. at that age they are known for being obnoxious and not having a filter. i would probably think she's correct in her assumption.

So what? They're old enough to know right from wrong.

lisforlaurenn

I appreciate all the positive comments, thanks everyone! I'll make sure to say something tomorrow when I go in for my workout. I paid for a year membership at the gym I'm currently at and it's a nice gym, most of the people there are very friendly and I've never been uncomfortable prior to this. The only female only gym in my area is Curves and it's not in great condition. It also doesn't offer any classes like the gym that I'm at now. I'm more than okay with being around whoever, regardless of gender, when I work out and no one's said anything crude to me before there.

ArtGeek22

That is ridiculously rude! I pay good money to my gym (going to the Y) and that has happened to me a few times too so I reported it to the manager and he said if it happened again, the rude teens in question would be on probation or something. So if it happens again, report 'em! But good luck with your working out regardless :happy:

mikey1976

use this next time they beak off i maybe fat and i can change that but you will always ugly forever .....i think i heard this some where

MyOwnSunshine

If I knew for certain that their comments were directed at me, I would immediately report it to the gym staff and request that they be removed from the gym. If it wasn't addressed in a productive way by the staff and management, I would cancel my membership and go elsewhere.

I do not think that this type of behavior would be tolerated by anyone at my gym -- staff or gym patron. In fact, some of the most hardcore and fit people at my gym are the kindest and most supportive of others. I guess that's why I work out at the Y -- there is always a good energy there and there are people of all shapes and sizes.

I would be angry and humiliated all at once if this happened to me, but as I've gotten older, I don't tolerate mean, ignorant behavior from others like I used to.

kkimpel

Unacceptable behavior.

Your trainer should have stepped in. It is the trainer's job to make your experience comfortable. Speak to the manager, and the trainer about this (maybe even at the same time) . As about their policy concerning respect in the gym. If they do not have a policy of protecting and respecting members... then ask for your money back.... and mention a class action law suit...


I am so sorry that this happened. I'd like to encourage you to take your feelings into your own hands as well. Know that you don't deserve such unkindness...in fact, no one does. Next time, stop what you are doing, and either direct your trainer to solve the problem...

Lois_1989

I always try to keep in mind that everyone is in the gym for a reason. Be it to loose weight/ bulk up or health reasons.
Maybe they do it to hide there own insecurities? Not trying to justify it, I probably would have snapped back at them with a couple of insults of my own. But then that's not really a good solution either.... So....that's what you shouldn't do....but maybe take into consideration? Lol

MEKAMEK08

You should go back to the gym....The trainer should have said something to the boys if he worked at the gym. Its your right as a person to still go. It will always be someone that wants to stop you from doing something good for yourself. Please keep your head up!!!! hug:bigsmile:

lisforlaurenn

I guess it didn't occur to me at the time that I should have said something to someone right away. I was more focused on getting my workout completed. I'd never let that stop me from continuing to improve on my health and fitness goals. I still did my cardio after my session with my trainer because I didn't feel like "oh I need to leave right away because I'm sad or something." I go to the gym 5-6 days a week and have done so for about 2 months now. I am new to this gym but I don't feel uncomfortable here and the only way I'd switch is if they don't take this matter seriously. I have high hopes and positivity. that they would have gotten this matter solved if I had complained after it happened. So that's my bad on my part. I'll know in case an issue like this ever happens again.

tomservo

Sometimes, people are just completely dumb as well as rude and obnoxious. Why are gyms in existence?

I am very surprised the trainer didn't do anything. If it had been me I would have marched them out and banned them. I would suggest complaining for that reason alone - it's hard enough feeling like the biggest person in the gym...if the management aren't going to assist you in feeling comfortable, then they deserve to lose your business.

lilpoindexter

"teenage boys"....That about sums it up.

I was much fatter about a year ago, but I'm also tall, and wide shoulders, so I really didn't / don't get any sort of comments because of the fear that i'd pound them. I was conscious of people looking at me when I was bigger, which was probably a reason why I waited so many years before attempting to get fit.

This is completely unacceptable. If the trainer works for the facility, his lack of action is unacceptable as well.

You seem like you have gotten over it pretty well, but If I was thinking about it, and I saw those characters on a subsequent visit, I would defintely tell the manager, and insist something be done.

Also...please don't let this discourage you from continuing with your plans. Stick with it...it takes time, but you WILL see results.

Aviva92

these were teenage boys though. at that age they are known for being obnoxious and not having a filter. i would probably think she's correct in her assumption.

So what? They're old enough to know right from wrong.

did I claim otherwise? I just said she was probably correct in her assumption.

groversa

Your trainer should have said something if they work for the gym.
That crap should not be happening.
If it happens again I would talk to the manager.

You pay to be there and should feel comfortable being there.

^^ Agreed. If he works there and heard it he should be saying something to the kids or getting someone else too. If you're there working out, you're already awesome. So screw them, their teenage boys, immature and they won't remember this in a couple weeks, so neither should you, don't let it get to you. But yes, if your trainer didn't say anything, I would say something.

groversa

Sometimes, people are just completely dumb as well as rude and obnoxious. Why are gyms in existence?

I am very surprised the trainer didn't do anything. If it had been me I would have marched them out and banned them. I would suggest complaining for that reason alone - it's hard enough feeling like the biggest person in the gym...if the management aren't going to assist you in feeling comfortable, then they deserve to lose your business.

Also this, I like that attitude! Haha, it just shouldn't be put up with.

suv_hater

You should tell management about this as it probably won't be the last time they act like jerks in the gym. If they will do that, they probably break a bunch of other rules all the time. They need to check theyself before they wreck theyself.

jr1985

Honestly... My philosophy is... I am fat... where better for a fat person to be than the gym? It's not like you were at McDonalds! (not that it would have been ok there either) I probably would have told them that exact thing if I were in your shoes... Rock on girl! on your way to a great body... January 1st 2014 they'll be tripping overthemselves to ask for your phone number!

jr1985

Also... If you can... try working out early mornings... People that get up at the butt crack of dawn are only there to get their work out in and go home... believe me they aren't there to harass people then.

kelsully

That's true, it's possible that they weren't directed at me. But I'm pretty sure they were in this case. I guess regardless if they were or weren't comments meant for me all I can do is try to not let it get to me.

You can still report it...no one...you or anyone else needs to be spoken to like that

lisforlaurenn

I appreciate all the positive comments and response I got to this. I'm certainly not scared to go back to the gym, I've been doing my regular work outs as usual and working with my trainer. There won't be any boys in my future since I have a serious girlfriend but thank you for the positive reinforcement! I've never had problems before with anyone being rude or anything less than very friendly. I don't feel like it will happen again but if it does I now have a better idea about what I need to do.