How do I get over being molested as a child?

tanniew78

I am not sure you will ever get over being molested. Its one of those things that resurface and haunt you periodically throughout your life. However, there are ways to learn to live with what has happened and even gain some measure of confidence.

That being said, no one here is qualified to help with this issue. Its best to leave it in the hands of a therapist or counselor. Another thing that may help is taking some defense classes. It will focus and discipline you in positive ways. Knowing you have the knowledge to defend yourself is a powerful thing. Plus it has added health benefits of being exercise!

ChelSleeve

Sadly, I have to tell you that you will never fully "get over" it.. It happened to me when I was six years old, i'm 24 now, and I still wake up from nightmares, crying on occasion. Some days it may not hurt as bad, and it may just feel like a distant memory, some days it may feel like it happened yesterday.

Keep yourself in a "Happy Place" and the memories wont come back as much. I'm sorry that it happened to you, and anyone else. No one should have to go through it.

Harriann84

You may not ever get over it, but you will be able to deal with it.

As I said before, I don't feel like a victim any more. The b***tards can rot in hell for what they did to me, but I will not let what they did to me, dictate how my life will go.

I would highly recommend to everyone who has gone through being violated in any way, find a form of therapy that works for you. That will help you deal with the things you have been through. I am not saying you will ever forget what has happened, but it will become a lot easier to deal with when you are forced to deal with them by triggers.

Please don't feel defeated by your abuser. x

mghanie

Thank you guys for all your support and help, i wish i could tell my bestfriend but shes out of the country and is in medical school. I have been doing some research online and found out that i may have stockholm syndrome and im scared because i dont know how to stop feeling attached to him, i figure if i just dont think about it that much then the feelings will just go away over time am i right about that? I want to heal but i just dont know how, i feel if i talk to someone it will help but i dont want to bother any of my friends with this because when i start talking about i im not sure if ill be able to stop talking about it. I have decided im never going to tell my parents or anyone one of my family members i dont want them to look at me differently or think that im weird, i also dont want them to feel bad for me i mean i see them everday and i don want them to always think they need to feel bad for me i dont know if any of this makes any sense but i have to let this stuff out. Thank you guys again for reading this and giving me you advice and support you don know how much it means to me. Thank you all !

BinaryPulsar

I am a survivor also. I was abused by my stepfather when I was a young child and it was violent. The book that really helped me break free from these types of feelings you are describing is: The Betrayal Bond: Breaking Free of Exploitive Relationships by Patrick J. Carnes.

quirkytizzy

Therapy. Patience. Feeling your feelings, changing how you ACT on those feelings. Breaking the bond to an abuser does not happen all at once - even if we cut them out of our lives suddenly. It takes a long time to unravel it all.

You've made a very brave step. It is okay to be scared, even of yourself. You can feel scared and still work on being better, though. It's okay.

*hugs*

likearadiowave

And I hate how I feel, like i miss him i hate that i feel like this and i DO NOT want to feel like this anymore, sometimes i think its my fault i feel this way because i could have said no i could have stopped it but i didn't so I think this is half my fault too. I just want to know what I can do to finally get over this and move on with my life i'm sick and tired of it running my life of him running my life. I don't have money for a therapist and I can't go see a counselor because my parents will wonder what i'm doing and I don't want them to know because I don't want to hurt them. please help me, I don't want to tell any of my friends because to this day they still love him as their teacher, and I would be totally embarrassed to tell them the whole truth.

Please help me, Thank you!

No, dear. It is never your fault for someone else touching you without your consent. You were a child, and usually as child we are taught to respect and sometimes fear adults. But we are not usually taught to respect ourselves and our own boundaries.

What he did was wrong, and what his wife did was also wrong. But always remember, that no part of this is your fault, and you couldn't have stopped it. They were wrong, not you.