Is this a cop out?

tanniew78

I have been doing a lot of thinking about where I want to go with my weight loss and I had an original goal of 170 or so. However, lately I have been thinking maybe 200-220....

I have always been comfortable with a little extra weight. I am not necessarily looking to be skinny. I am just wondering if this is a cop out of sorts. I dont know what it is like to be under that and honestly.... it does scare me to think I could make it there.... I know that probably doesnt make much sense for such goal oriented folks, but knowing where I have been in my life and what I have been through, I am just not sure I would ever feel safe much under 200...

meshashesha2012

how far away from 200 are you?

if it's still far away why worry about it now? it's like worrying about the details of your potential college major when you're barely in middle school.

cgirly

I think you should stick with it. Looking at your profile you say you want to lose weight for your kids. Getting down to 170lbs will help you be so much more active in playing with them.

Good luck!

DavPul

Yes. Cop out. There aren't many of us that can healthily support 200+ pounds.

newmein2013

You're not alone. It's actually pretty common. I made a similar post a few months ago. I had no doubt that i wanted to continue to 140 but 200 seemed to be my safe point as I hadn't gone below it in 18 years. It took me 3 times to get past that mental block but it felt really great once I finally did it. I think the fact that you made this post in a public forum says you're ready. Don't be afraid of the unknown. You will find a new strength and want to continue further. Don't think about the number, just keep eating healthy & working out and see where it takes you. Best of luck to you.

sweetchildomine

At the end of the day it's your body and you should do whatever makes you havppy. However, in my opinion you should make 200 your mini goal and then decide what to do from there. Even if you're comfortable at 200, think about how GREAT you would feel at 170!! You should ALWAYS strive to have the best for yourself!! You can do it!! Keep trying and it will come with time!

tanniew78

DavPul- I actually did very well with this when I was younger before kids and in my teens. Ive been a bigger girl all my life and its mostly what I know. I know what felt good, and where Im at now, I definitely know is NOT good. I always just thought I would lose until I feel comfortable being in my own skin... Now I am not so sure thats the attitude I should be taking.

To be sure, I am working from this moment on to get myself healthy and that means eating right. I am plenty active (CNA) but need to find my balance and get back at it.

These goals are very far into the future, to be sure. This years focus is to lose 100 lbs...... I want to be sure I am working on ALL aspects of weight loss, including mental. So I want to sort of call myself out when I am attempting to put a roadblock out there....

nz_deevaa

I'm at 220lbs now, and I'm pretty confident that if I choose just to aim for 200lbs I'd feel like it was a cop out.

Even 170 isn't going to be particularly slim unless you've been lifting and have a high LBM.

tanniew78

I have very wide shoulders and hips. 170 is the maximum for my BMI index

nz_deevaa

These goals are very far into the future, to be sure. This years focus is to lose 100 lbs...... I want to be sure I am working on ALL aspects of weight loss, including mental. So I want to sort of call myself out when I am attempting to put a roadblock out there....

In which case Mesha is right, you don't have to decide now, wait til you are closer to the goal. Hit 200lbs and see how you feel.

gem25984

maybe keep 170 in mind for the end game but do smaller goals for the nearer future... (i dont know how much you weigh so just example) lose 15 lbs by valentines day. lose another 10 lbs by easter ect

AntWrig

Yes. Cop out. There aren't many of us that can healthily support 200+ pounds.

What are you talking about? I am near 200 lbs.

mariagabriella

I wouldn't worry about it now, having looked at your profile you've got a bit more to go.

What are you so afraid of?

I originally set my goal to 80kg (I'm 5'7) then dropped it to 75kg... now I'm aiming for 70kg and I weigh 79kg. My biggest fear was that I'd never get to my goal, and sometimes I feel like I'll never weigh 70kg but damnit, I will do all that I can to get to my goal weight. You can do it. Don't let anything hold you back.

MrsPixelbark

I have very wide shoulders and hips. 170 is the maximum for my BMI index

Maximum to put yourself at a healthy weight, or maximum before you slip into underweight?

Also, as much as you say you have very wide shoulders now be prepared to reevaluate your body in 20kg's or sos time. Myself and my Mum didn't ever think in a million years that I'd get down to the size I am now due to being very broad all over. Turns out I'm no where near as broad as I thought I was.

However, upon saying that, I'd be tempted to take baby steps- get to 200 and then go from there. However, I'd really at least push to try and get into the healthy BMI weight range. I know it's not a fantastic range by any means for some people (such as bodybuilders), but it does give you a rough estimation and for most people somewhere between the top and end of the healthy scale does work quite well.

nz_deevaa

Yes. Cop out. There aren't many of us that can healthily support 200+ pounds.

What are you talking about? I am near 200 lbs.

You are 200lbs of (hot) man-muscle. Not 200lbs of squishy lady-lumps (like me).

BamsieEkhaya

I understand where your coming from...even when I was younger and a LOT slimmer I was still kind of heavy on the scales, so my UGW of 126 at 5'5.5/5'6 scares me a little...but I'd say keep it as your UGW if its a healthy BMI, but if you get closer maybe even 190-180 and think you personally don't look/feel right then change it.
I'm leaving my UGW at 126 and seeing how it goes the closer I get to it

Jen800

I think you should get to your goal. Like someone above me said, there aren't many people who can handle 200 pounds healthily. I understand how you feel, and even though my goal weight is 115 ish, it actually frightens me to think about it. I've been chubby my whole life and it seems scary to be healthy, fit, and thin. I'm actually scared of how I'm going to feel when it's time to maintain, because for a long time weight loss has been this driving goal in my life and it feels good to have something to work towards. I think you should set minigoals for yourself, because that makes it seem less dramatic.

tanniew78

I have very wide shoulders and hips. 170 is the maximum for my BMI index

Maximum to put yourself at a healthy weight, or maximum before you slip into underweight?

Also, as much as you say you have very wide shoulders now be prepared to reevaluate your body in 20kg's or sos time. Myself and my Mum didn't ever think in a million years that I'd get down to the size I am now due to being very broad all over. Turns out I'm no where near as broad as I thought I was.

However, upon saying that, I'd be tempted to take baby steps- get to 200 and then go from there. However, I'd really at least push to try and get into the healthy BMI weight range. I know it's not a fantastic range by any means for some people (such as bodybuilders), but it does give you a rough estimation and for most people somewhere between the top and end of the healthy scale does work quite well.

The high end of healthy for my frame. And it IS my frame. I can actually find my hip bones and my shoulder bones. My fat is in my stomach, boobs and thighs...

tanniew78

I absolutely will reevaluate myself at 200 and see how things look and feel for me.... I already have the mini goal thing set in my mind. Still... I dont want to mentally limit myself when looking at my overall goal.... I am in the habit of "settling" and I have been breaking out of that shell this last year... I have achieved everything I set my mind to this past year. Other things got in the way of weight loss, but now I am able to focus just on it and its my time to shine.

I do want to thank you. I will occasionally call upon mfp for some tough love and a lil dose of reality. It might hurt but I dont want to get complacent. And I know me and my tendencies. I am absolutely ready for this change.... I just need to get it in my mind that the sky is the limit. There is no more ceiling for me anymore....

JesterMFP

Good for you for working on the psychological aspects of weight right now. The sad fact is that many people lose a load of weight, and can't actually handle being that lower weight. David Smith (the "650 lb virgin") springs to mind. I think your chances of successfully losing and maintaining are much greater if you deal with this stuff upfront.

I'm a big believer in the health benefits of being a healthy weight. However, looking at your ticker, getting to 200 would be significant, and you would be better off (in my opinion) getting to 200 and maintaining that weight, than dropping to 170 and start gaining again. What I'm thinking is that if it makes you feel better to aim for 200 lbs, then go for it. It's a nice round number, and you don't feel freaked out by it. Get there, and see how you feel. It might well be that you feel a lot more confident about yourself and about losing the weight once you get to that number, and you'll want to go all the way. You'll surprise yourself. I am a far lower weight now than I have been since probably my early teens, and honestly, it is strange. I do feel and look a lot better than I ever did though. Physically, it will be well worth it to get into a healthy range. Mentally, I get that it's not always that simple. If breaking it down into smaller goals helps you get there, then do that.

Martucha123

for me it would be a cop out - I would like to reach at least 170 as like you mentioned it puts you in healthy category according to BMI
but you have quite a long way to go
set your goal for 200 if it makes you more comfortable
re evaluate once you reach 200, I think most of us re evaluate once we reach our goal. Nothing wrong with that

JesterMFP

I absolutely will reevaluate myself at 200 and see how things look and feel for me.... I already have the mini goal thing set in my mind. Still... I dont want to mentally limit myself when looking at my overall goal.... I am in the habit of "settling" and I have been breaking out of that shell this last year... I have achieved everything I set my mind to this past year. Other things got in the way of weight loss, but now I am able to focus just on it and its my time to shine.

I do want to thank you. I will occasionally call upon mfp for some tough love and a lil dose of reality. It might hurt but I dont want to get complacent. And I know me and my tendencies. I am absolutely ready for this change.... I just need to get it in my mind that the sky is the limit. There is no more ceiling for me anymore....

The sky is absolutely the limit, and I think that as you make progress, you'll gain more confidence in what you can do in terms of losing the weight, and you'll get used to the idea that you don't have to settle any more.

MrsPixelbark

The high end of healthy for my frame. And it IS my frame. I can actually find my hip bones and my shoulder bones. My fat is in my stomach, boobs and thighs...

I could find mine as well when I was larger. I know you think all your fat is in targeted areas right now, but you will get smaller nearly everywhere. I know you don't believe me, I wouldn't have either if someone had told me, I had myself PINNED at a size 12-14 for life (as did my Mum), but here I am now at an 8-10, and getting smaller.

I think when you're large there's a lot of things that you instantly pin onto yourself that you could "never do", or "never be", purely because we're all so used to being THAT size. We're used to being THAT person that carries X amount of excess weight, and I know for me I didn't fully click out of that mentality until a few months ago when I could finally see the product of all my hard work starting to pay off. You could quite happily get to 170, and perhaps when you reach 200 you will want to reach 170- maybe even lower!

Saying that... I'd try not to worry too much about everything right now- take baby steps and reach 200 for now. Going that small may sound rather scary now, believe me, I know- I'm at my smallest now that I have been since being a pre-teen. I was larger than I am now at 13, and not a day goes by where I do wonder if I am getting too small. However, I also know I'm the healthiest I've ever been and loosing that last 10kg is only going to benefit me massively in terms of my fitness goals as well as aesthetically.

IrishHarpy1

I'd say go ahead and aim for 170, then reevaluate once you get there (and you WILL get there, if you want it badly enough). I had originally set myself a goal of losing 50 pounds, which I didn't think was possible as I had also been rather heavy most of my life. Once I got into the rhythm of regular exercise and eating better, the weight came off easier than I had thought. I had more energy and was so happy with my progress that about 10 pounds from my original goal I decided to take it down another 30.

You're also more likely to stick with the program if you set yourself smaller goals rather than trying to lose a lot all at once. Slow and steady keeps it off...

Good luck!!!

ladyark

Yes, i think it is a cop out. I'm not talking about being skinny but being healthy. That should be your main goal!! Carrying around all that extra weight is not healthy and the aches and pains you refer to in your profile are from that. I started at 200lbs and since losing weight the only pain i have is what i create by lifting weights and pushing myself. I dont know how tall you are but you should set your goal to 170 and then see how you feel from there . I bet you will feel so great you will want to continue to lose more. You need to get out of the old mindset of what your used to being and create someone new, fitter and healthier for yourself and your children...Good luck to you!

nz_deevaa

I truly think you are limiting yourself - here is a link to a thread about what happens when you don't limit yourself:

http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/824518-fat-girl-dead-lifting

tanniew78

I truly think you are limiting yourself - here is a link to a thread about what happens when you don't limit yourself:

http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/824518-fat-girl-dead-lifting

Hmmmm, that lady looks familiar... lol... I am trying not to limit myself. Truly I am. Thats why I brought it up. To call out the bs in my own mind.

I never want to limit myself again. I need to get used to the fact that I CAN do anything I set my mind to. There are deeper psychological issues to work through as well. Reasons why keeping at least some weight on appeals to me. And as I lose and get closer to the 200 lbs mark, I will need to address that issue....

DavPul

DavPul- I actually did very well with this when I was younger before kids and in my teens. Ive been a bigger girl all my life and its mostly what I know. I know what felt good, and where Im at now, I definitely know is NOT good. I always just thought I would lose until I feel comfortable being in my own skin... Now I am not so sure thats the attitude I should be taking.

To be sure, I am working from this moment on to get myself healthy and that means eating right. I am plenty active (CNA) but need to find my balance and get back at it.

These goals are very far into the future, to be sure. This years focus is to lose 100 lbs...... I want to be sure I am working on ALL aspects of weight loss, including mental. So I want to sort of call myself out when I am attempting to put a roadblock out there....

The stuff we got away with when we were younger is the stuff that will kill us when we are older.

From a sports angle, I think of pro football players. They play at weights up to 300 or more pounds. But after they retire, a huge, lumbering 300 pounder shrinks himself down to 220 or so. Why? Because that extra weight is killing them. Hard on their heart. Hard on their joints. And as they get older and less active, they know it will get harder to lose the weight.

But how about this. Sounds like you have a ways to go before hitting 200. Why don't you do everything in your power to get there and then reevaluate? Why are qr putting on the brakes 30 pounds out?

tanniew78

Oh I am not putting on the brakes! I am just getting warmed up and started! I know it doesnt make sense to work on the mental angles now when I am so far off from it but I dont want to get there and not be prepared for it. Most people that are over 300 like myself have reasons and issues as to why they are that weight. Im just keeping it real with myself and not letting me put limits on me.

Pinks song Dont Let Me Get Me is my anthem and I am trying to break out of that this year.

vorgas

For me, not focusing on the weight goal works the best. It's all about changing your mindset to a healthier lifestyle. Eat less, exercise more. Let the weight end up where it ends up.

Maidofmer

I wouldn't say so. weight loss is weight loss. if you're comfortable at 200-220, go for it. if you decide later that you want to go for 170, you know you can do it.