I hate this, this always happens

Hollycat

I had 3 bad PMS days this past week too. Gained a pound. Felt crummy and it took 3 days to actually get back on track fully. How is this different from other times where I've just given up completely? Well, I'm highly motivated. I've been at this 'fat' thing for 25 odd years. I'm good at it. Too good. Tried everything, been there, done that, go the t-shirt. But never stuck with it long enough to change significantly. When I 'failed', my self-negative talk took over and that was that, until I worked up the focus to change my attitude toward 'trying' again. Sometimes that was a very long time.

So...why am I highly motivated this time? Well, as I said. I'm very good at this being fat thing. I saw myself as fat. I saw myself as genetically predisposed (which I am - my most famous relative was Rolund the Rotund) and I also have hypothyroidism which contributes to my negative self-image. I got so good at the 'being fat' thing that I got to the point where I began experiencing chest pain before Christmas. At 47. Now, my attitude is completely different. I really don't have a choice anymore. The choice whether or not to continue 'trying' was taken from me. If I want to SURVIVE, I MUST make the choice every day to eat right and exercise. Am I going to make that choice every single day? Is it worth it to wallow in a minor failure for weeks on end before I pick myself up again? Maybe, but now I don't really have the CHOICE. I MUST pick myself up and do this thing I sub-consciously, don't really want to do. I'm hard-wired to not want to do this. I believe strongly that our survival instincts are programmed to either 1) eat to survive and avoid starvation or 2) have the ability to run very fast to avoid being eaten. Fat folks are switched on to 1 and Thin are switched on to 2. I believe it is possible to re-program yourself to 2. By practising. That means exercise and plenty of it. Every day. Not 3 times a week... maybe if I feel like it...but every single day - at least a half hour. This is also something I no longer believe I have a choice in.

Not sure it that's helpful for someone facing a lifetime of feeling fat, because it's hard to see ahead into your future when you're young - never in my wildest dreams did I EVER think I would weigh 250, but if I had to do it over again, I would have stopped giving myself the choice decades ago. We CAN resist the primal urge to avoid starvation, but rather, to practise running from predators, with consistent practise. It's hard, but it can be done.

Hollycat

sdwelk11

OK... I KNOW ITS AN OLD SAYING BUT IT IS SO TRUE AND IF YOU CAN GET INTO THE MINDSET OF WHAT THE WORDS MEAN THEN YOU WILL SUCCEED. WE ALL HAVE "CRAP" FOOD DAYS AND IF ANYONE TELLS YOU THAT THEY DONT THEN THEY ARE LYING TO THEMSELVES AND YOU! SORRY FOR THE CAPS! I HAVE TO USE THEM FOR WORK AND FORGOT TO TAKE THEM OFF... ANYWAYS HERE IT IS

EAT TO LIVE DON'T LIVE TO EAT

WHEN YOU REALIZE HOW BAD YOU WANT THIS CHANGE FOR YOURSELF THEN YOU WILL SUCCEED... ITS ALL ABOUT PREPARING MENTALLY FOR THE PHYSICAL CHANGE THAT IS COMING.. GOOD LUCK! I AM CHEERING FOR YOU!

Motleybird

How do I stay motivated? Chocolate, pizza, occasionally a donut, Carl's Jr hamburgers....

Right now I'm just focusing on calories. I don't have a cheat day. I don't need to have a whole day to cheat when I work it in and keep track of it. The Carl's Jr is probably the worst thing on that list. I cut it in half, and still end up full because it's big. Portion size is everything! I know I should work more veggies in to the mix, but I'm training myself with one thing at a time. I don't normally feel deprived.

Hint: The bicycle in my living room helps immensely when I need more wiggle room for yummy things!

incircles_lp2

You are far from alone. I am very much the same as you described when it comes to overeating and having to start from square one. I found this book to be very beneficial: The End of Overeating by David Kessler. It is EXTREMELY helpful. Good luck.

HealthyChanges2010

Bumpin to check back:flowerforyou:

Great inspiration Gang

JazzyMarie

Im printing this thread out and sticking it on my wall to remind myself of the fustration i had when i overate!!
Thank you to all
x

popplylily

hmmm, i do this all the time.... the biggest thing ive learnt is.... its actually your determination for the next day that matters.. we all have bad days wks or months or yrs, but its the waking up and thinking i still want to lose weight and eat healthy... the good days will outweigh the bad inthe end its just starting the day with the intention that matters. sounds stupid but its true. the better you feel about yourself the less bad days youll have. if your half half even thats an achievement.. in a yr or so youll find the bad days are the minority and thats all that matters, your vision.. xxx

emmaldownie

Don't become obsessed with the fact that you've slipped and must get back on course.

We have all slipped at someone point whether its an extra glass of wine with dinner or a binge on a take away. Its how you go back to it that counts.

Try and remain positive. If I shot myself down everytime I slipped, I'd be nothing but bullet holes now!

lesley1981

I find that if I restrict myself by not having chips/chocolate/(enter other naughty foods here) I'll want them all the more and will eventually give up on the diet! By allowing myself to have that piece of cake or take-out IN MODERATION I don't binge on it anymore

Paul76

You can't undo what is is done, i.e., you can't go back and do anything about a bad week. All you can control is what you do today, right now, in THIS moment. It's about choices - what will you choose to eat today? Will you choose to exercise today? You have all the control and power to make today what it is you want it to be.

My own little motto - make today great.

selbyhutch

Do you plan your meals & log your food ahead of time? This is absolutely key for me. If I've planned my meals, bought the food to prepare them, and logged them ahead of time... then I'm pretty obsessed about following it. Also, if your food diary is public to everyone you might feel some accountability. If you allow yourself a cheat meal then that may curb your overindulgence. Regardless, if you have a bad day... don't feel defeated and continue on that slippery slope... start back up the next day (or meal) and reaffirm your healthy lifestyle.

Good luck!!

lessertess

this book was discussed on Oprah...I haven't read it yet but have been hearing really good things about it from a number or women:

Women, Food and God

Editorial Reviews
Review
"Geneen Roth has written an extraordinary book - at once beautiful, moving, funny and searing. Most important, she gives us a practical way to use our bodies - along with some of the most difficult parts of our emotional lives - as gracious and transformative portals to our soul."
--Rick Foster, co-author of Happiness & Wealth and How We Choose to Be Happy

"Women Food and God is daring, dazzling, funny, comforting, wise and profoundly spiritual. It maps the journey from the darkness of obsession to the pure sense of being in prose so insightful and astonishing it left me breathless. Geneen Roth is an international treasure, and her new book is a gift to us all."

-- Gay Hendricks, Ph.D. author of Five Wishes and Conscious Loving

"Geneen Roth does it again! Women Food and God is absolutely mesmerizing. And loaded with insights which can change your life."

--Chistiane Northrup, MD, ob/gyn physician and author of Women's Bodies, Women's Wisdom and The Wisdom of Menopause

“This is a hugely important work, a life-changer, one that will free untold women from the tyranny of fear and hopelessness around their bodied. Beautifully written, a joy to read, rich in both revelation and great humor.”

--Anne Lamott, author of Grace (Eventually): Thoughts on Faith


Product Description
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20chloe09

If any of us possessed the innate willpower to always eat the right things and always do enough exercise then none of us would have found ourselves in the position where we needed to lose weight! You are completely normal and by no means alone. It has occurred to me since I started to watch what I eat that I eat for 1000 reasons, of which being hungry is only one!

The trick is to work out what those other 999 reasons are and cross each bridge when you come to it. Which you are doing now by realising that you have fallen into an unhealthy pattern. All you have to do is overcome this one obstacle and you will be one step closer to achieving your goals.

I have had to realise that food is just fuel for my body - to be enjoyed, but only as my body needs it. Food is not happy, sad, bored, sociable, bad or good - I have created those associations for it. The food doesn't have the power, I do - and so do you.

But similarly, just as you shouldn't let food overrule your instincts to be healthy, don't let guilt override them either - you may have had a small setback here but that doesn't mean that you don't ultimately have the power to change things - you do!

Good luck.xx

kdiamond

GREAT ideas and words of inspiration here!! Heed them!

Just wanted to chime in my $.02., for what it's worth, when I have a day I don't feel like repeating (and believe me, we all do, it sucks to be a woman sometimes ) I run to the gym and have the best workout I've ever had! Because you can't undo the damage you may or may not have done but what doesn't kill us makes up stronger!