lack of support from loved one?

amberppwv

Does anyone else suffer from a lack of support from their loved one? I almost feel like he is trying to sabotage (sp?) my dieting and exercising! He complains when I go to the gym...he called me 2 times in 5 minutes once to tell me that it was ridiculous that I had spent so long working out. He gets upset that he has to watch our 4 year old daughter while I am there...this usually only happens once a week (my mother keeps her the rest of the time). The other day, he came out of the gas station and handed me a candy bar...he just thought I "might want to try it". He even went as far tonight as accusing me of cheating on him!!!! Sorry to vent, but I guess I will be needing to get extra support from people on MFP because I'm not getting from my own home! I guess I just wondered if this is common with others?

mvl1014

That's ridiculous! I'm sorry Amber. :-( But I'll support you. :-) :flowerforyou:

khoolette

So sorry to hear this. Support from home is perhaps the most important....but don't give up! Get your support from your mom, other friends, etc. You can do this!!

kpm14

My husband brought home about 4 boxes of cookie dough (fund raiser) a few years ago right when I got back into a good weight loss groove. There are certain things that are just so hard for me to have around so I explained it to him. He is thin and has no idea of what weight issues are like, although he has a pretty unhealthy diet. Well, many pound later and a whole year down the road, I was back on a good plan and he did it again. Same cookie dough fund raiser! This time it really hurt my feelings because I know he understands how I feel about not needing it in the house. There have been thousands of times like this and I have to come to terms that it will always continue so I have to get tools to deal with it. I know I'm in charge of what I eat but emotionally it hurts to not have someone that really understands "why" it's hard to lose weight. I guess that's why I'm here now. Believe me, I totally get it!

ebkins7

Does anyone else suffer from a lack of support from their loved one? I almost feel like he is trying to sabotage (sp?) my dieting and exercising! He complains when I go to the gym...he called me 2 times in 5 minutes once to tell me that it was ridiculous that I had spent so long working out. He gets upset that he has to watch our 4 year old daughter while I am there...this usually only happens once a week (my mother keeps her the rest of the time). The other day, he came out of the gas station and handed me a candy bar...he just thought I "might want to try it". He even went as far tonight as accusing me of cheating on him!!!! Sorry to vent, but I guess I will be needing to get extra support from people on MFP because I'm not getting from my own home! I guess I just wondered if this is common with others?

Wow... this is absolutely rediculous... if someone truely, honestly loves you they would support you! He certainly shouldn't be upset that he has to watch his OWN DAUGHTER! Good heavens!!! He sounds like he's insecure that if you get all skinny and sexified that you'll leave him! Men can be very childish (and so can some women!). I think you need to reassure him that you love him, but in order for you to be a good wife and mother you need to do things for yourself that makes YOU feel good!

I'm sorry that he doens't support you! Add me as a friend and I'll help keep you motivated! It's a simple as that!

hollyroode

I'm sorry to hear that.. I have never experienced that kind of lack of support myself. But I have heard stories of others who have had that issue. I think that sometimes it has to do with the spouse feeling left out that you may be bettering your life and they might feel left behind. With the accusation of cheating, I have also heard of some spouses feeling that because you are starting to lose weight and are looking better and feeling better about yourself that you might think that you "could do better" for lack of a better phrase.. There was an episode of X-Weighted that I watched the other day and the wife was having the exact same problem with her husband. Maybe if you just talk to your spouse and explain to him that you are trying to do something to better your health and that if you are healthier and feel better it will be good for you both in the long run. Either way you should never feel guilty about being healthy and happy, especially when you have a little girl to take care of and set a good example for. Good luck with everything and hopefully your spouse will come to understand

SugarHi

You are worth it. You are worth every step you take on your journey for health. This is for you and you alone. As hard as it might be, ignore his banter... it will go away over time. There's a thing called lovers jealousy, and not handling change well. I am sure you involve him as much as you can and invite him to be there with you. Remember and listen to your heart, let it guide you... You can do this. :flowerforyou:

ginaluck

first, your spelling was fine. second you are awesome!! mother, partner, wage earner and now caring for yourself! who could do more? i know how hard this journey is and i am on the road with you. full time job, two kids, laundry, diner, time for the husband....and now we have to fit in a workout?! i will let you in on a big secret, nobody wants to exercise. you feel great after you are done, but the number of obstacles between me and the gym seem to grow everyday. i have lost 13 pounds. no one has noticed. one girl at work asked me if i bought a bigger uniform shirt. the idea that the shirt got bigger seemed more likely to her than the thought that i got smaller. my husband is the king of sabotage. he hates to stop at the grocery store on the way home. hates it. inthe 7 weeks of 2010 he has stopped, without being asked 3 times. once to bring me a snickers ice cream bar. once to bring home dark chocolate. and once at coffee shop to bring me a latte and crumb cake!!!!! all of these were a "suprise" i'm not sure how much is subconscience and how much is 'if i can't lose weight, you're not going to lose weight." feel free to friendme anytime you need support! keep up the great work! g

paddymc

Support us here for you. We all keep each other in line and on track. I will friend you, call on me anytime. We can all use some extra help now and then.

Best wishes on your wonderful journey.

ScarletTarah

I had this exact same prob with my ex, I got to the point i just threw it out the second he handed it to me, after a while and many arguements about how I keep wasting his money he finally got it.
but after losing alot of wieght and after alot of arguements and put downs i gained it all back.
Now that I am no longer with him I have begun my wieghtloss again, and will succeed.
You really need to talk to him about this even if it means dragging him to the gym to see how hard your working.

ltlhmom

Maybe he doesn't understand why you want to lose weight because he loves you just the way you are. Have you tried talking to him to see why he is doing this? Maybe include him in. Go for a walk etc. Keep you head up. You are doing what is best for you and your family even though he might not see that. :flowerforyou:

siobhannestor

My ex was like that - would sabotage my weight loss efforts and then say, "Aren't you glad that you're with someone who doesn't care what you weigh?" It hurt me, a lot, and made it more difficult to stick with weight loss plans. I think she felt that I might leave if I lost weight (I left before that). I also think that as I started changing my habits, it made her feel guilty about hers. I liked ltlhmom's suggestion of involving him more. My current partner (fiance) is really supportive, good at noticing when I have lost some pounds or firmed up a little. One's partner can really make a difference. In any case, we are all here for you. :flowerforyou:

shaggys

Wow!He sounds really insecure!
Does your gym have a children's room?Golds is an extra $15 a month-worth every penny!
Can you take your little girl out for a run on the days that your mom can't watch her?Maybe less stress,and you can really hit it hard on the days that you do have help.You can pack little toys and snacks in the jogging stroller and just take off...
And speaking from experience-get in the best shape that you possibly can,because sometimes things don't always work out .
Good luck!!!!
:flowerforyou:
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