Struggling with motivation and drive

AislinnKitten

I have depression and anxiety, along with p.m.d.d. and a pretty rocky childhood/teenage years so basically I'm a big ol' ball of emotional fueled craziness with the weight of the world at times on my shoulders. Lately I've been over eating, trying not too over eat too much but still over eating in general. For some reason my brain makes a connection between delicious food and my emotions therefore I eat my emotions, and let me tell you I can go through a lot of ups and downs in a day -_-. I can be pretty good at handling it but lately I feel so overwhelmed. I'm struggling with money (I have my entire life, I'm quite used to be considered in the working poor class but it gets old after a while), working as much as I can, trying to loose weight, I want/need to get back to school for my career wants and emotional well being since my lovely retail job isn't really paying the bills very well nor is it packed with any sort of benefit other than over priced health care with terrible coverage, I want to move since my complex's crime rate is increasing and I work far too hard for the little I have for it to be stolen or destroyed by someone else, I feel like absolute garbage not being able to take care of the ones I love as much as I would like too, especially whilst watching them struggle, I need to get a car since walking in the freezing cold whether isn't exactly a good way to end the day when your heading from a job your hate to freeze until you can get to the apartment you hate as well. I'm struggling to find a second job, I've tried almost everything in town with no luck, and above all I don't want to give up because my boyfriend has so much faith and does whatever he can to support me that I absolutely cannot bare to disappoint him by giving up in anyway after all we've been through together and achieved so far together. I just feel so overwhelmed and the last thing I need is to completely fall off of my path to a healthy lifestyle but keeping my spirits up to keep going is becoming hard. I'm not really sure what I'm looking for from this post seeing as how right now I feel very uncomfortable posting this since I don't really know what feedback I'll get but I suppose if you're reading this and wouldn't mind giving some real encouraging words of wisdom/advice that'd be wonderful, maybe some fun fitness challenges to possibly try with my friends to keep it exciting, anything positive really. I know many will say to suck it up blah blah blah, which of course will be because yes people have it worse than I, absolutely, but then again this post obviously isn't stating my whole life story or what exactly goes through my head so there's far more than what's stated, so please keep that in mind. But positive feedback, please if you have any is welcome, an add could be nice possibly as well if you're looking for another friend on here (in a relationship so please nothing of that sort). Thank you too whoever took the time to read this, and I wish you good luck in your fitness/health and life endeavors!

AyaKara

I would suggest trying to fix your other situations first (crime neighborhood, job & education) before you focus on going full-on to healthy living. Do your best to live healthily (eat as best as you can, do body weight exercises at home), but I wouldn't focus on the gym right now if I were you. Take care of the ones that you love & everything that's going wrong in your environment until they can be fixed. Once everything's calm, then focus on reaching your fitness goals.

In the meantime, I'd definitely suggest using MFP to keep track of your calories & nutrition until then, so all you'll have to do when things are calm is to begin logging exercise.

Everything will be okay if you take things one step at a time -- I also have depression so I understand completely -- everything will all come together as long as you don't stop trying. Wishing you all the best in the new year, & please keep us updated.