What I finally figured out

CasperO

I was pudgy most of my life. I was about 170 pounds when I was 10. Had a few puberty induced trim years and then began to balloon again in my 20's. I was un-huge enough to be in happy denial until a couple years ago when I quit smoking. Then it got wierd, I got up to 270 pounds (I'm 5'8" tall). I couldn't sleep, I never felt good and had no energy. I finally got pretty disgusted with myself, and like the buddha I sat beneath the tree and thought about it long and hard, and here's what I came up with.

We get fat because we make bad choices. Nobody wrestles us down and stuffs Hohos down our throats. I was fat because I chose the wrong kinds of foods, and too much food, and then I chose to pick that food up and put it in my mouth eat it. Nobody made me do any of this. I also chose to spend my spare time sitting on a couch watching television instead of getting up and doing something. Nobody tied my fat butt to that couch.

My life changed the day I really decided not to do that anymore. Now, 95% of the time I choose an appropriate amount of a good food. When I have the chance, 80% of the time I choose to take part in a healthy activity. That's it - I stopped choosing things that were temporarily pleasant but were actually bad for me - and started making smarter choices. I have reaped enormous benefit from doing this, it has literally changed my life.

That's it,,, it really is that simple. It's not easy, but it's simple. We are adults, not idiots, not fools or children. We are in control of what we do. We know what to do, and must simply choose to do it. (And forgive ourselves when we screw it up,,, 'cause we all do that too).

MTGirl

Some of us are also fat because we choose to stuff our feelings down with food. Sure those feelings may be based on circumstances beyond our control, but we are the ones who choose not to face the feeling and to hide from it with food. There are a lot of various reasons for that, too many to get into, but until we decide that we are important enough to start to deal with the crap we are hiding from our weight won't change. That doesn't change the fact that we are in control of our fate - even if we, to our dying breath, deny that fact! Just thought I'd add that to your rather excellent post Casper!

cmurphy04722

IIt's not easy, but it's simple. We are adults, not idiots, not fools or children. We are in control of what we do. We know what to do, and must simply choose to do it.

Amen to that! I remember a discussion with my father a few years ago when he was talking about things he wished were different in his life. He said that he wanted to change some things...and then realized that since he did nothing to change those things, he must not have truly wanted the change.

Long, philosophical story short-he focused himself and made the changes. If you do not make a change, you do not truly want a change. :-)

Phoenix_Rising

Casper,

You leave me almost speechless.
That is the God's honest truth for many of us.
(Yes, some have medical issues but many of us don't.)
Thank you for putting it so simply.

PR

DrBorkBork

Well said, Casper! Months ago I was thinking of the quote about guns and replaced guns with food in the following quote that you may recognize: "Food doesn't make people fat. Food CHOICES make people fat."
Just like "Guns don't kill people. People using guns kill people."

NykkieC

Well said as usual! Bump!

Phoenix_Rising

Long, philosophical story short-he focused himself and made the changes. If you do not make a change, you do not truly want a change. :-)

Along those same lines, I realized that I was tired of hearing myself complain about being fat but never doing anything to change it. I was an annoying broken record. I decided to either stop complaining or change it. I chose the latter.

That is still my mantra now for most situations. Stop complaining or make the change. No one wants to hear you whine about a change you "want" but never strive to acheive.

cdavis1126

Yep, I stuffed all my emotions, stress and unhappiness right down my throat, got fat and continued to be unhappy. No more!! I've lost 49 lbs since October and feel wonderful and happy 80% of the time. I'm still dealing with an unhappy marriage but working on myself and a looking for a way out. I'll get there, no doubt about it in my mind!

EmilyStrick

amen, mr. casper!!! poop, or get off the pot! my excuse was always "well, i eat healthy."....yep, well, healthy food can still have a million calories!! i was in such denial, thinking that yeah, i'm a little over weight, but i eat healthy. and then i got high blood pressure...no one could figure out why...and finally an endocrinologist said to me "there's nothing wrong with you...you need to lose weight." what a blow. i thanked him for his candor and found this website. i'm not off the blood pressure meds yet, but i think in about 10 pounds i will be. we are all in charge, and taking charge, and it feels good!

BetterVersion

So so so so true. Excellent post!

acakeforawife

Bravo, my friend! So true! For me it was that same realization, coupled with straight up taking the emotion of it. I eat better food and I work out, do I whine about how unfair that is? Nope (or not often at least! :bigsmile: ) The same way I get up every morning and go to work, instead of whining about why I wasn't born rich! Same as you said, I think -- just finally being a grown-up about it.

CasperO

amen, mr. casper!!! poop, or get off the pot! my excuse was always "well, i eat healthy."....yep, well, healthy food can still have a million calories!! i was in such denial, thinking that yeah, i'm a little over weight, but i eat healthy. and then i got high blood pressure...no one could figure out why...and finally an endocrinologist said to me "there's nothing wrong with you...you need to lose weight." what a blow. i thanked him for his candor and found this website. i'm not off the blood pressure meds yet, but i think in about 10 pounds i will be. we are all in charge, and taking charge, and it feels good!

Oh yeah,,, the classic "well I eat pretty well,,, and not that much, really. Like, in comparison to a water buffalo I'm Jack #$%in LaLanne"!!! I'm somewhat muscular, and that helped me lie to myself for a lot of years.

I notice that a lot of the people who've chimed in with a big ol' "hell yeah" here have lost an awful lot of poundage,,, hmmmm. I wonder what that means? :bigsmile:

CrystalT

You are a very wise man, Casper.

innerhottie

Some of us are also fat because we choose to stuff our feelings down with food. Sure those feelings may be based on circumstances beyond our control, but we are the ones who choose not to face the feeling and to hide from it with food. There are a lot of various reasons for that, too many to get into, but until we decide that we are important enough to start to deal with the crap we are hiding from our weight won't change. That doesn't change the fact that we are in control of our fate - even if we, to our dying breath, deny that fact! Just thought I'd add that to your rather excellent post Casper!

I know the shame and pain that comes with power-shoving fast food while still in the drive through lane.
I have been dealing with my mom and sister's battles with cancer for the past 6 years.
How have I dealt with it? Medicating myself with a toxic supply of the nastiest, greasiest food that you can buy.
I finally realized that it doesn't make me feel better, it makes me feel worse.

skdehen

I totally agree. A few months ago, we had a guest speaker at work talking about how to find peace in your life. He talked about how people use the excuse of "I don't have time". It isn't about not having time. We all have the time. It is about prioritizing items into the time we have.

chanstriste13

here, here! well said! :drinker:

m2kjenn

So well said - Love all the comments here - Congrats to all of your successes!

jennylynn84

Love all the comments. Spent a lot of time in my life complaining about being fat, hating being fat and making excuses about genetics. And while, yes, I will always have kind of wide hips, genetics doesn't explain why I made so many unhealthy choices in life. I've been on "diets" that were hardly dieting, I've gone to the lengths of borderline eating disorder. I've done everything but actually just attempt to be healthy. And now that I am, I'm seeing and feeling results, I'm excited and my general mood has improved (gotta love those exercise pheromones).

In the end you do just have to bite the bullet and say "This Little Debbie and Must-See-TV is really not worth what I am doing to myself."

Good for all of us for making the first really difficult step in deciding to change.

CasperO

<<snip>>
,,,,,,,,"This Little Debbie and Must-See-TV is really not worth what I am doing to myself."

That's genius. I wanna get that tattooed on my *kitten*. Thank you...

thumper44

Well said Casper.

I know nobody forced me to eat 2 burgers,large fries and large pop, and then a sundae or frosty.
Nobody put the 2nd helpings of food on my plate at a family function.

After I'd burn 100's of calories playing hockey or baseball 2-3 times a week, it was my choice to go to the bar to eat deep fried food and drink beer.

Now it's my choice to devote some time everyday to exercise and my choice to eat healthier food.

MTGirl

Some of us are also fat because we choose to stuff our feelings down with food. Sure those feelings may be based on circumstances beyond our control, but we are the ones who choose not to face the feeling and to hide from it with food. There are a lot of various reasons for that, too many to get into, but until we decide that we are important enough to start to deal with the crap we are hiding from our weight won't change. That doesn't change the fact that we are in control of our fate - even if we, to our dying breath, deny that fact! Just thought I'd add that to your rather excellent post Casper!

I know the shame and pain that comes with power-shoving fast food while still in the drive through lane.
I have been dealing with my mom and sister's battles with cancer for the past 6 years.
How have I dealt with it? Medicating myself with a toxic supply of the nastiest, greasiest food that you can buy.
I finally realized that it doesn't make me feel better, it makes me feel worse.

Good for you!! I know it's a hard road - but really stuffing our feelings by eating not only causes weight problems, but also issues from unresolved stress. It's so much healthier to face that hard stuff - and there's always exercise to help with the stress :drinker: Good job!