Talking to a friend considering Gastric Bypass?

aylajane

Hrm, I don't buy the whole "doesn't have the self discipline" thing...... I always thought that too until the right motivator came along. For me it was a stroke that made my decision. Eat better and take care of my body or die.

It was the best thing that ever happened to me and I've healed with FAR less side effects than I would have suffered from a gastric bypass.

Your friends can go ahead and have that gastric bypass but if she hasn't learned "self discipline" or worked through why she got that heavy in the first place she's going to be right back where she started pretty quickly and with all the nasty side effects as a bonus.

Um... what about the side effects of a STROKE?! You could easily have died from that or had half your body paralyzed, spent your life with a drool issue, etc. Having WLS before that happened could have *prevented* it. I am not an advocate of GB itself, but saying it is better to wait until you nearly die than considering a valid option for preventing something like that is just silly.

Many people who have WLS do so in order to AVOID the consequences that come with high blood pressure, diabetes, etc. It is a risk-reward game --- taking 5 insulin shots a day and the promise of dialysis is usually plenty of motivation for most people, but sometimes they need more tools than they currently have to be successful. WLS Is a tool, just like diet pills, protein shakes, and anything else you can use to help you along. It has consequences (just like diet pills and protein shakes etc) but when you weigh those against the future you are facing if you CANT get that elusive "self discipline", the risks sometimes are worth it.

oohmercyme

In my opinion, most of the time Gastric Bypass is for people who want to lose weight but don't want to put any effort in. They would have BETTER results from proper diet and exercise. There is one exception I know of and she is here on MFP and WORKED HER *kitten* OFF in a gym and by eating clean. She's lost over 230lbs.

GB teaches them nothing about being healthy, good food habits and exercise. Every person I have known to have it has either died as a result of over-eating post op or gained back ALL of their weight.

Bad Choice, in my opinion...

As someone else said above, this is a TOOL, not the be all end all.

I had the gastric sleeve in May 12 and have lost 102 pounds so far. I eat well (I knew how to eat well before, I just didn't) and I exercise a minimum 90 minutes 5-6/days a week. Like any tool, it's how you use it. Yes, if you don't want to put in the effort, it won't be successful, but if you use it properly, make the changes you need to (including, the mental ones), then it can be life changing. No regrets for me at all. Having this tool enabled me to deal with the emotional/mental issues behind the eating. The physical part was a piece of cake compared to that.

As ever, people post on here about WLS being the "easy way" out, lording their "natural" weight loss over the "unnatural". That's ignorance about the reality of WLS.

If your friend is educated about her options and is willing to make the changes she needs to, then support her in her decision. This is no easy journey, WLS or not.

littlewhittles

I have a coworker who had GB a long while ago, but didn't change any of her habits. She has kept some of the weight off, but it still very obese because of not changing the way she lives. She has 3 kids and is busy, and they eat fast food AT LEAST once a day. If your friend isn't committed to trying to change her habits, she will likely put weight back on eventually. The surgery might be a good starting place to motivate her, but she needs to incorporate a healthier diet and exercise.

NeverGivesUp

I do not regret mine at all. It made me feel like a normal person. I had a humungous appetite and it took that away. I had mine 11 years ago, and had 3 kids after the surgery. It is her decision ultimately. No matter which way you try and lose weight none of the options are easy, I don't care what anyone says. Everyone has their own experience with it. It is no one's decision but hers. Once I made the decision to do it, there was absolutely no stopping me. I met my husband when I was at my heaviest and he even tried talking me out of it but he failed. I can gain weight now and that is why I am here but I never gained it all back, even in the height of my pregnancies. I am now within normal weight range and have changed my eating habits entirely. Her journey is her own. It was a very good decision for me at that point in my life.

_VoV

GB teaches them nothing about being healthy, good food habits and exercise. Every person I have known to have it has either died as a result of over-eating post op or gained back ALL of their weight.

Bad Choice, in my opinion...

This is such total BULL****! I'm sorry but this is the way I see it. And obviously you dont know that many people that have had GB surgery. I had to do several nutrition classes and exercise is stressed in every meeting with doctor and nutritionist.

One problem I see is a lack of good long-term follow-up, and by that I mean decades, since most people who have this surgery are fairly young.

MBSNANA

I considered having the surgary. I went to a vascular doctor because of severe swelling my my legs from blood clots. I am 5'1 and weighed 345 pounds. The doctor wanted me to have the surgery to get a lot of weight off my legs quickly before my legs started forming sores that would not heal. They sent me an email telling me about the different surgeries. After talking it over with my husband [who was willing to support any diecision I made] and talking to my friends of MFP not to mention lots of prayer I decided against it. I already have so many health problems that my fear was a stoke leaving me unable to care for myself and my husband could not stay home from work to care for me so I would have ended up in a nursing home. I called my doctor and told them to set a plan up for me to lose weight and call me. When they called I went to talk to the doctor to weigh in for the first time. The doctor put me on a 1200 calorie diet with only a trace of sodium. Also no diet or carbonated drinks. The first month I lost 17 pounds which threw all medicine levels out of range. I now have my daily medicine back the way it needs to be and to date I have lost 39 pounds in five months. I am feeling much better, I can walk a lot better.

I don't put anybody down if that is the route they decide to take but for me it was way to risky for me to take the chance. Best of luck to you and your friend. I pray she makes the decision that is right for HER.
Kaye

tat2dzombiegirl

I worked with a woman for a couple of years who had gotten it done. I saw her shrink right before my eyes. Sadly there were a lot of complications and she would get sick a lot just from eating afterwards. It was scary and didn't look like fun. But that's just my opinion. It works wonders on people. I prefer old fashioned diet and exercise.

phyllisbobbitt

:flowerforyou: you sound like a true friend that is very scared for her. i am in the process of having surgery. my insurance made me wait 6 months to think about this procedure & read up on it. i personally know of several friends who had it & have done great. drs. make you go through psychological testing before they even consider you as a surgery pt. i have gone through 21/2 hrs. of testing before i could be considered. i also had to go as out-pt at the hospital for a upper gi,, chest x-ray, blood gas test (abg), labs,ultrasound, cardiac testing, pulmonary testing , nutrition session, anesthesia session & surgical. there are 5 group sessions you have to attend with ones that are going to have surgery & those who have already had it. 2 weeks prior to surgery, 2 weeks post surgery, 3 mos. after surgery, 6 mos. after surgery & 12 mos. after surgery. they also teach you at these sessions behavioral strategies, activities scheduling, meal planning & how to adjust to new eating behaviors, exercise, social support enhancement, communication, challenging unhelpful thought patterns & goal settings. a person does not just have surgery! it comes with all of the above. the dr. then decides if you are a candidate for surgery. it is truly a long process. i feel like your friend after knowing the commitment that she will have to make should make the right choice.

erinsueburns

I don't know a huge number of people who have had it, BUT of the ones I know, the ones who have been successful had MANDATORY nutrition counseling with specialists in WLS and regimented diet changes required prior to surgery, a couple for 6 months to a year prior to surgery being allowed and months to a year of post surgical nutrition counseling on a regular basis.. It seems that the philosophy of the Dr./Center where it is done is just as much if not more of a factor than what surgery is done. My advice is to maybe start researching the places in your area to find what seems to be the best, most balanced, most comprehensive program, then encourage her to get an assessment done there. The vast majority of us are not qualified to counsel you or your friend. WLS is life saving for many, but as others have said it is a tool, and a very dangerous one.

MaraDiaz

There is a great documentary series free on Youtube called My 600 pound life where they followed bariatric surgery patients for 7 years.

It makes me very grateful that I don't need this to lose weight so far. However, if once I reach goal I find I simply cannot maintain a healthy weight I will consider the surgery.

You should be aware that these patients had someone who might well be one of the best surgeons in the world do their surgery. The mortality and complications rate is much higher for less experienced surgeons so the most important thing your friend can do if she does decide to go this route is to find the very best surgeon available, someone who has done thousands of these. And then ask lots of questions about mortality rate and complications.

MyM0wM0w

Um... what about the side effects of a STROKE?! You could easily have died from that or had half your body paralyzed, spent your life with a drool issue, etc. Having WLS before that happened could have *prevented* it. I am not an advocate of GB itself, but saying it is better to wait until you nearly die than considering a valid option for preventing something like that is just silly.

BEFORE the stroke I was in complete denial. I knew I was fat, I knew that health issues were looming, but I didn't want to face them. My point was that each person has to find their own motivation. The fear of winding up BACK in ICU was(and still is) my motivation. I know plenty of people who have just ignored signs just as severe that they needed to change their lifestyle. I don't think she should WAIT for something catastrophic but I think a better friend would try and help her find her motivation... not encourage a band aid fix.

AFTER the stroke, yes, GB was an option for me and I discussed it at length with my doctor. I wanted to give it a try on my own though and here I am, 108 lbs lighter. Once I learned the mechanics of weight loss and HOW to eat healthy then it was all downhill from there. Do some days suck and I want to eat the entire grocery store? Sure. Do I miss sitting down with an ENTIRE bag of cheetos and a half gallon of breyer's vanilla ice cream? OH YEAH.... but now I understand what that did to my body.

GB has it's place, but I think that the medical profession pushes it as a one size fits all solution and it's not. People assume it's a fast and easy fix and ask for it and how many doctors would say no to that $$.

I started this at 5'7" and 386 pounds. At that level of obesity, diet and exercise no longer work.

Sorry, but unless there was a MEDICAL reason (which could likely be addressed and fixed)... I call BS.

I started at 326lbs @ 5' tall...... I had to work at it but the process is working for me because *I"M* putting in the hard work for the payoff..
One of my best friends started at 380+lbs @ 5'5" tall and he's down 80lbs(approximately 8 months) from sheer hard work at the gym(lifting and cardio) and making healthier food choices. In fact, he's not even counting calories.

At that level of obesity it's EASIER to lose weight, not harder. A mild caloric deficit and just moving around will bring on some weight loss. I know, I've been there and the first 70-80 lbs were so easy to lose.

_VoV

There is a great documentary series free on Youtube called My 600 pound life where they followed bariatric surgery patients for 7 years.

It makes me very grateful that I don't need this to lose weight so far. However, if once I reach goal I find I simply cannot maintain a healthy weight I will consider the surgery.

You should be aware that these patients had someone who might well be one of the best surgeons in the world do their surgery. The mortality and complications rate is much higher for less experienced surgeons so the most important thing your friend can do if she does decide to go this route is to find the very best surgeon available, someone who has done thousands of these. And then ask lots of questions about mortality rate and complications.

A seven-year follow-up isn't bad, but in my experience, my results were still good then. Things started changing around 15-years post-surgery for me. I am not saying that my experience of one is anything significant, but merely pointing out that most patients are lost to follow-up in time, and we don't have good data on how people age with this surgery.

RekindledRose

I love this community.

Agree or disagree, flippant or serious, I can always count on my fellow MFPers to give me good feedback and lots of excellent experiences to draw upon. Thank you!

There were several great websites that were shared that I will look at as well.

My primary goal is to be a supportive, caring friend to my "bestie" friend, and when she makes the choice that she believes is best for her I don't want to be that fly in her ointment. My hope, of course, is that she becomes healthier and is able to overcome her health and bone issues. Whichever tool she chooses is her decision to make.

Thank you again! I'll keep checking for more feedback.

MaraDiaz

There is a great documentary series free on Youtube called My 600 pound life where they followed bariatric surgery patients for 7 years.

It makes me very grateful that I don't need this to lose weight so far. However, if once I reach goal I find I simply cannot maintain a healthy weight I will consider the surgery.

You should be aware that these patients had someone who might well be one of the best surgeons in the world do their surgery. The mortality and complications rate is much higher for less experienced surgeons so the most important thing your friend can do if she does decide to go this route is to find the very best surgeon available, someone who has done thousands of these. And then ask lots of questions about mortality rate and complications.

A seven-year follow-up isn't bad, but in my experience, my results were still good then. Things started changing around 15-years post-surgery for me. I am not saying that my experience of one is anything significant, but merely pointing out that most patients are lost to follow-up in time, and we don't have good data on how people age with this surgery.

Actually every single one of the people followed had problems and some regains even during those years. Which is why I think it's worth watching. The surgery is not a quick fix at all, and the documentary makes this very, very clear as does the followup episode they did a little later.

celebrity328

The show my 600 pound life is really eye opening, I had no idea the types of problems before/after surgry people might face. Just a fair warning about the show some of the patients dont make it to the 7 year mark

auntiebabs

Let her know the good news is that she doesn't have to be perfect she just has to be better.

I used to think that I had to jump to the healthiest possible choices.
And I would beat myself up when I fell short... then say "why bother"
But found that if I picked a couple of things to improve (not perfect, but better) before long they would become habit.

Then I'd pick another couple of things to improve...
It turns out that rather than revamping my whole lifestyle all at once and reverting in times of stress (and who doesn't have stress)
A series of small sustainable changes was much easier. My main focus has been to make this as easy as possible, because the easier it is the more likely I am to stick to it.

Yes it was slow, but it doesn't matter how quickly I lose the weight if I can't keep it off.

julinva

I had RNY Gastric bypass 5 years ago and I would do it again, but it is not a decision to be taken lightly. My personal experience was positive for the most part. The first 3 years after surgery were great. In the past 2 years I have regained some of the weight I lost and it seems to me that I have to eat less and exercise more to maintain my weight. I do not think the impact the surgery has on a persons metabolism has been well studied. It is important to know that your appetite and cravings will return.

RoadsterGirlie

In my opinion, most of the time Gastric Bypass is for people who want to lose weight but don't want to put any effort in. They would have BETTER results from proper diet and exercise. There is one exception I know of and she is here on MFP and WORKED HER *kitten* OFF in a gym and by eating clean. She's lost over 230lbs.

GB teaches them nothing about being healthy, good food habits and exercise. Every person I have known to have it has either died as a result of over-eating post op or gained back ALL of their weight.

Bad Choice, in my opinion...

This. While many do not see it as a quick fix, it is certainly advertised many times as such. Anybody who lives in the LA area and sees the 1-800-GET-THIN billboards permeating the LA freeway system can attest to this.

LindaGialouris

I had gastric bypass (Roux-en Y) 5 months ago and consider myself fortunate to have had very few complications. As with ANY surgery or ANY DIET - there are success stories, and there are failures. WLS is not a quick fix, and by NO MEANS an EASY WAY OUT. As a gastric bypass patient, I have to MONITOR everything I eat - too much sugar will affect me, too much fat will affect me, too much swallowed at one time will affect me, eating too fast will affect me, drinking water or tea (or anything) with my meal will affect me, alcoholic beverages will affect me (much more and more quickly than a non-WLS patient). I have lost 104 lbs - and I did lose 52 before my surgery, by cutting down on what I ate and NO SOFT DRINKS or sweets. I have to drink 2 protein shakes a day to ensure that I keep my protein intake around 80g a day. I have experienced slight hair loss (thinning) but no other issues because I maintain my protein intake.
Honestly, I think that this operation saved my life. And it is what you make of it. If I decide I want to screw around and go off track - of course I'll probably gain the weight back. If you have experienced a weight gain after WLS, the operation isn't the culprit - YOU ARE. Get back on track, eat what you did when you were losing, and monitor your intake by logging into MFP EVERY DAY. You still have the ABILITY to lose, you just need to get back to basics and back to work.

ArielMelton

I had the RNY. The nurses on my ward called me "the traveller" because I was walking around that bariatric ward like crazy as soon as the anesthesia wore off. One reason I was so motivated was the huge battery of tests I had to go through to be approved for the surgery; I had gone through a lot to "earn" that surgery and I had no intention of letting all that effort go to waste! Lots of physical tests of course, but also psych evaluations and weekly visits to a professional dietician who tested my knowledge and perceived level of "probable compliance".

I decided the first week of December to have the procedure, and it was the last week of March when I went in for surgery - and I had a VERY 'fast-track" approach available to me due to a sympathetic employer. I had to go to one medical appointment or another a few times a week and met them all without fail.

I also had to spend two weeks on a "zero carb" diet (since no diet is completely zero carb, I put that in quotes). The bariatric surgeon told me I had to reduce as much fat as possible around my liver or else. To paraphrase him, if he took a look at my liver endoscopically and saw I had not complied with his instructions, he would step away from the table and not perform the bypass- and I would NEVER be approved for the surgery again with that kind of track record. Maybe not the nicest way to motivate someone, but I got as close to zero carb as humanly possible, lemme tell ya!

I don't know if the original poster is still pondering what to say to her friend, but my suggestion would be "nothing". She is going to have professionals counsel her and decide if she's a good fit for surgery. Just be as supportive of whatever she decides as possible. That's my take on it, anyway.