Jealous friends?

christy3565

I have a couple of "friends" (and I use that term loosely) that seem to want to sabotage me or have a negative comment on everything I do or say concerning my appearance, eating habits, gym habits, the way I breathe...lol..kidding on the breathing but it's ridiculous! I'm not quite sure how to handle them as I don't want to come off as arrogant but at the same time I'm proud of who I am now and what I've achieved. I'm curious if anyone has this problem and how do you handle it?

RekindledRose

I don't have this problem, but I am sorry you have this problem. It's too bad that they can't be happy for you, and maybe take a few tips to improve their own lives.

I hope you get some help from others who have encountered this.

olsondre

No one needs people like that in their life

MightyDomo

If I were in your shoes I would confront them on it, ask they why they feel the need to belittle who you are now and the progress you have made.

Real friends will support you and be honest with you, and I hope they are just jealous and unsure how to deal with their jealousy but the reality may be that they just aren't the friends they used to be or that you thought they were.

BrotherBill913

They're just mad because your such a hot potato mama

mk_hammer

Sounds like they're not really friends, anyway. Just don't associate with them anymore. Ain't nobody got time for that!

j4nash

find new friends

RandomAlivia12

. Ain't nobody got time for that!

yes, exactly. Being 17, i have the same issues, i just stopped talking to them.

Alohafitgal

Hi Christy!
DITCH THEM! They are only contributing to the negativity in your life & transitions. Yes I have been through this, and sometimes still run into a few "downer friends" from the past. When you see them, be positive about yourself and how good you feel! Surround yourself with positive & great people that you know will only lead you in a good direction. Keep up the good work!
Aloha! Leilani

Project_Jodie

Hi Christy,

I think maybe talk to them - they maybe don't realise how theyr'e acting - and if that fails perhaps just keep your distance. I woiuld say their jealous, and their own insecurities are coming in to play. You have a right to have lovely supportive people in your life so don't let them get you down.

xo

hjdavies2326

You've lost a lot of weight man!!!! You have reason to be proud. The reason for the jealousy is your weight loss has changed up the friendship dynamics of the group. Unconsciously everyone does it, even me. I have friends in certian boxes. E.g motivated one the shopping buddie, the takeaway and movie girl, the friend who I like but cant handle in large doses etc.... they are confused and jealous also I recon. If they cant accept you then get rid of that negativity, who needs it? ???

dantrick

yup, I have had friends like this. all we did was party, eat, and drink a lot together. I no longer hang out with them. not that they aren't cool people, just my life has taken a different turn. I wish to surround myself with people who would rather go hiking, skiing, play Frisbee golf, or anything else active than just get trashed.

There are some good groups out there that do fun activities. check out www.meetup.com
find some good friends with similar interests.

christy3565

Thanks everyone. I DO have many friends and family that are extremely supportive of me and I treasure them. As well as all the friends I've made here These two in particular are childhood life long friends and it's a hard pill to swallow. We are in our mid 40's for crying out loud, this isn't high school lol. I think maybe the next time I have an issue I'll confront them. I've always been the one to back down and laugh at my own expense. Time to get a backbone right?

lmckillo

You will be surprised at the people that will try to sabotage your workouts, your eating habits, your fitness lifestyle. The best way to deal with this is to understand that these people ( friends and family) exist and to carry on with your lifestyle. Ignore them in other words. The reason they do this is they are jealous of your lifestyle and your working outs and this makes them feel bad about themselves, therefore they try to make you stop so you will be like them and they will now feel better about their sedentary lifestyle.

Will_Thrust_For_Candy

Thanks everyone. I DO have many friends and family that are extremely supportive of me and I treasure them. As well as all the friends I've made here These two in particular are childhood life long friends and it's a hard pill to swallow. We are in our mid 40's for crying out loud, this isn't high school lol. I think maybe the next time I have an issue I'll confront them. I've always been the one to back down and laugh at my own expense. Time to get a backbone right?

I am in the exact same situation as you right now with 2 friends that have been in my life for a very long time. I'm only 34 and I feel like I'm back in high school. I have also found that I have changed so much since I started this journey that I just don't have anything in common with most of my girlfriends anymore. I know I have to get rid of the negativity as it's causing me too much unhappiness, but it also makes me sad that I don't have many IRL friends that I have things in common with anymore I feel like I'm a new kid at school trying to find new friends!

lwagnitz

I don't know if it's jealously...but I have this one friend who always brings up her weightloss and how she wears a size 6 now, and always brings up how she wears a small shirt. She'll ask me to go to target and she'll be like "ohh, I wanna see if I can fit in a kids jacket" or just something stupid. Which is fine. But when I bring about my goals at the gym, or something I recently accomplished that I'm proud of, she's just like "coooolll..." with that lame look on her face like,"why the hell would I care".

I used to talk to her about her weight loss and encourage her and give her congrats on her accomplishments...now I just kind of smile awkwardly. I just feel like she's rubbing in that she's skinny and I'm not.

PomegranatePriestess

When I lost 110 pounds, I experienced what you're talking about with certain people. The people fell into two distinct groups:

1. Strong people looked at what I had accomplished and said, wow, I want that for myself. They asked me what I was doing, and they started doing it, too.

2. Weak people looked at what I had accomplished and said, wow, I could never do that, and I don't like that she was able to do that. I need to try to shove her back where she was, so I can feel comfortable with her again, because now when I am around her I am confronted by my feelings about what I have not done for myself.

The only thing holding the weak people back was their own perception of themselves. Sad, really. I actually lost a "friend" over it, but I accepted that she just could not get past how my transformation made her feel about herself, no matter how I tried to discuss it with her. (She actually accused me of hitting on a guy she desperately wanted a relationship with; I wasn't aware of how she felt about him but even so, he was the one hitting on me and getting nowhere. It didn't make sense for her to blame me for that, but that's what she chose to do.) I had made so many changes in my lifestyle -- I couldn't afford to devote time to someone who was unsupportive. So I moved on.

Confront them directly, and see if a wake-up call helps. If it doesn't, it's time to take a break from them and re-evaluate the friendships.

dad106

I'd tell them to stuff it and find new friends.

celebrity328

I have had the same experience sadly I would say 90% of the people I know/saw me lose weight have been supportive and encouraging but that 10% is what gets me!

The one friend who sticks out with a poo poo attitude about my weight loss is currently the exact same weight I was when I started losing weight. She makes comments like: Girl you are shrieking away, do you ever eat? and my favorit are you ill? The way I figure it is she has only known me as "Big" and some people dont like change! She accuses me of "changing" and blames this on my weight loss. I can honestly say yes I have changed, I feel better about myself, I have more energy, and in general I have a more positive outlook on life! If that makes me a bad person so be it! I am still the same person I was a year ago, I am just a smaller version

mtabh

I get this all the time and I have hardly lost anything. I feel like many people are expecting me to fail. Or they want me to fail so they won't feel the need to reevaluate their health. It is what it is. I just ignore it.

Maelay

I unfortunately had a similar situation when I lost 20lbs (before grad school ). My roommate and I (both full figured) were pretty decent friends, and when I first began dieting and exercising, she at first was supportive. However, as the weeks past, and I began to see the beginnings of results, she suddenly started cooking the most unhealthy food. She would constantly offer me some of the food. At first I thought she was just being polite, but then she began taunting me with it by saying childish things like, "look how delicious this is, mmmm it is good!" And once even waving a plate under my face, she said look what I can eat but you can't. Lucky for me she went away for a month and a half, and I was able to not have her pressuring me. However, when she came back the comments got snide, even commenting on my looks. We ended up having a falling out. We did make up, but we aren't as close as we used to be, and though she is better about the comments, I still get them from time to time. I would say if its people you genuinely care about, talk to them, but if they are people that you don't, I would put some distance from them.