Contradictions EVERYWHERE

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leafstucker16

I really don't want to appear that I am arguing - just trying to be honest with myself. It is not about what I keep in the house - if I have single serve ice creams, I will eat 5 of them. If I want a pizza (which most people say on this site is totally okay), I will eat the whole thing (not just one or two pieces). If I go through McD's, I will get two Big Macs or whatever I want. It is not a matter of restricting what is in the house because I will eat until I am satisfied....

The idea of moderation is not something I can do without going to the extreme (total denial of anything that tastes good).

Ok, so eat more calories of lean protein, whole grains, and lots of fruits and veggies. Stock your house with healthy food and take a break from take-out and any other trigger foods for now.

I have been trying to do that, but in reality, I would have to throw out so much stuff and don't have the money to do kitchen makeover all at once - I am worried that I won't last another week. I spent twice as much money yesterday at the grocery than I usually do and got some decent things, but this eating healthier is costing me a fortune. I am sitting here staring at two bags of barbecue potato chips and I don't think they are going to survive the night.

Seriously, I can't double my grocery budget to sustain the changes that everyone has advised me to do. 1 bag of Doritos = $3.19 and two tomatoes and a box of strawberries = $5.43.

I was a bit of the same way, I was always thinking about how much eating healthy would cost me. Then I went through my bank account and added up all the money from the fast food that I ate and was astonished at how much it was.

raggyanndoll

I have one piece of advice--advice I have taken myself. Go to this link: http://www.oa.org/newcomers/is-oa-for-you/. If you have any questions, message me.

Firefox7275

I have been trying to do that, but in reality, I would have to throw out so much stuff and don't have the money to do kitchen makeover all at once - I am worried that I won't last another week. I spent twice as much money yesterday at the grocery than I usually do and got some decent things, but this eating healthier is costing me a fortune. I am sitting here staring at two bags of barbecue potato chips and I don't think they are going to survive the night.

Seriously, I can't double my grocery budget to sustain the changes that everyone has advised me to do. 1 bag of Doritos = $3.19 and two tomatoes and a box of strawberries = $5.43.

You can get on with it or you can keep making excuses, you are not a special snowflake many people here are on a budget. You did ONE grocery shop. Did you price up ALL the different healthy options per 100g/ per serving and make a comparison in your notebook or on your smartphone? I have actually done that for my stores, I rotate between three places, eat more of the cheaper or sale stuff and less of the stuff that is more expensive per portion.

Soft sweet produce like berries and tomatoes are expensive to produce: insects and fungus love them, loads goes bad in transport, it doesn't have a long date in the store so there is yet more waste. Fruit tends to be pricier than veggies, cheaper tends to be stuff in season, frozen vegetables, fresh root veggies, dried beans and lentils, canned oily fish, organ meats like liver, certain other meats in bulk (varies by country and area). You can make tasty, cheap healthy and very filling meals with a little online research because there are loads of blogs on the subject. For example a vegetable, lentil and coconut curry - vegan or close on but it's not like there is much meat in Doritos! Likely less than the cost of the Doritos for more than one generous serving.

cloveraz

I read through several pages of the success stories, but only found 3 people who lost more than 200 pounds which is where I need to be (and two of those had surgery) . I don't want to imply that other people can't have their successes because they have all lost more than I have at this point. It is different when you have to lose more than what your goal weight should be. I got closer to 1000 calories today and am still hungry - all the advice was to increase the calories and to eat what I want, but my problem is that if I eat something that I want (a cheeseburger) I can't stop at that - one of two things happen. I will feel like I screwed up and will eat everything in sight because I fell off the wagon OR I will not stop with one. I would rather eat a bowl of iceberg lettuce than risk eating something that I like because I can't stop once I get going. There is no "one piece of pizza" with me; there is no "11 potato chips"; there is no 1/2 cup of ice cream because those amounts don't exist for me.

I'm one of those that lost more than 200 and still have another 50 to go. From what you describe, it is a food addiction. I know I have one. There are reasonable ways to deal with an addiction. Eating a bowl of iceberg and staying at 800 calories isn't one of them.

I hear your anger and your frustration. I like volumes of food. You may benefit from a partner and you can find one here. There are strategies to lose weight reasonably on a budget. But you have to come to a point where you're ready to stop feeling sorry for the place you are in and starting working toward a healthy goal. It won't happen overnight. It shouldn't happen at 3.7 pounds a week.

If you find yourself caving to all of the excuses you can find (and believe me, there are hundreds of excuses that seem legitimate), you WON'T succeed.

MFP is a good place to be if you're ready to be serious. It's also a good place to be if you're just THINKING about being serious.

But in the end... at 1 AM in the morning... when faced with a cheeseburger... or an aisle in the grocery store where you can buy a bag of doritos or a bag of brown rice and a frozen bag of veggies... it comes down to YOU.

So the real question becomes... what are you willing to do and what aren't you?

The goals you've outlined are tremendous. But you can do them if you break it into manageable bits. Find someone that can help you and will help you be accountable. Lots of folks here have similar struggles. But if you allow yourself to continue being swept away by the negatives and limitations... well, things will continue as they are or get worse.

I hope I don't sound harsh or preachy. But as I write, I find myself becoming irritable and frustrated... I hear your words, echos of things I have said to myself... and it's a miserable mindset that is no-win. At least it was for me. Until I realized I DO have the power to change a LOT... nothing changed and my misery continued. I *was* the person that went to McDonald's and ordered the 20 piece nuggets, 2 cokes, 2 fries, AND a Big Mac value meal. I'm not exaggerating. And I could eat it ALL, in one sitting. If I really thought about it, I STILL COULD. But I have to fight and fight to resist it. Sometimes it really sucks and I feel sorry for myself and everything "I'm missing out on." Sometimes I realize that's slowly killing myself and am thankful I can find a distraction to keep me from it. Either way, those are the decisions I have to make every minute of every hour of every day. This lifestyle is a recommittment to making healthier decisions every damn second. People may say it gets easier, but I'm sorry... that isn't my reality. Sometimes I have easier days, but it's never easy.

It might be helpful to take a few minutes and just reflect on where you'd like to be in a year. What do you want to achieve? Is it reasonable? What is your plan to get there? What might get in your way? What can you do to mitigate those things? Then... actively and without remorse, GO AFTER what you want.

My best to you.

Perfectly stated!

nicleed

I read through several pages of the success stories, but only found 3 people who lost more than 200 pounds which is where I need to be (and two of those had surgery) . I don't want to imply that other people can't have their successes because they have all lost more than I have at this point. It is different when you have to lose more than what your goal weight should be. I got closer to 1000 calories today and am still hungry - all the advice was to increase the calories and to eat what I want, but my problem is that if I eat something that I want (a cheeseburger) I can't stop at that - one of two things happen. I will feel like I screwed up and will eat everything in sight because I fell off the wagon OR I will not stop with one. I would rather eat a bowl of iceberg lettuce than risk eating something that I like because I can't stop once I get going. There is no "one piece of pizza" with me; there is no "11 potato chips"; there is no 1/2 cup of ice cream because those amounts don't exist for me.

I'm one of those that lost more than 200 and still have another 50 to go. From what you describe, it is a food addiction. I know I have one. There are reasonable ways to deal with an addiction. Eating a bowl of iceberg and staying at 800 calories isn't one of them.

I hear your anger and your frustration. I like volumes of food. You may benefit from a partner and you can find one here. There are strategies to lose weight reasonably on a budget. But you have to come to a point where you're ready to stop feeling sorry for the place you are in and starting working toward a healthy goal. It won't happen overnight. It shouldn't happen at 3.7 pounds a week.

If you find yourself caving to all of the excuses you can find (and believe me, there are hundreds of excuses that seem legitimate), you WON'T succeed.

MFP is a good place to be if you're ready to be serious. It's also a good place to be if you're just THINKING about being serious.

But in the end... at 1 AM in the morning... when faced with a cheeseburger... or an aisle in the grocery store where you can buy a bag of doritos or a bag of brown rice and a frozen bag of veggies... it comes down to YOU.

So the real question becomes... what are you willing to do and what aren't you?

The goals you've outlined are tremendous. But you can do them if you break it into manageable bits. Find someone that can help you and will help you be accountable. Lots of folks here have similar struggles. But if you allow yourself to continue being swept away by the negatives and limitations... well, things will continue as they are or get worse.

I hope I don't sound harsh or preachy. But as I write, I find myself becoming irritable and frustrated... I hear your words, echos of things I have said to myself... and it's a miserable mindset that is no-win. At least it was for me. Until I realized I DO have the power to change a LOT... nothing changed and my misery continued. I *was* the person that went to McDonald's and ordered the 20 piece nuggets, 2 cokes, 2 fries, AND a Big Mac value meal. I'm not exaggerating. And I could eat it ALL, in one sitting. If I really thought about it, I STILL COULD. But I have to fight and fight to resist it. Sometimes it really sucks and I feel sorry for myself and everything "I'm missing out on." Sometimes I realize that's slowly killing myself and am thankful I can find a distraction to keep me from it. Either way, those are the decisions I have to make every minute of every hour of every day. This lifestyle is a recommittment to making healthier decisions every damn second. People may say it gets easier, but I'm sorry... that isn't my reality. Sometimes I have easier days, but it's never easy.

It might be helpful to take a few minutes and just reflect on where you'd like to be in a year. What do you want to achieve? Is it reasonable? What is your plan to get there? What might get in your way? What can you do to mitigate those things? Then... actively and without remorse, GO AFTER what you want.

My best to you.

Perfectly stated!

This is such a great post. I realise I have never been in your boat, but she has. And came out the other side, wiser - and leaner.

Ask your doctor for a referral to a shrink who specialises in food disorders.

Honestly, I came here today just to check back into your thread - because I am genuinely worried about you and I don;t even know you. I can't imagine how concerned your family and friends are.

LiftAllThePizzas

Well it seems like you found an excuse to leave. All I saw in this thread was a lot of people who cared about a stranger and took time out of their day to do what they could to help you. It is no longer the time where your excuses will get you out of trouble. I think that's what your doctor was trying to tell you. Your heart, coronary artery, liver, kidneys, etc do not listen to excuses.

bbygrl5

I've not read through all the drama and don't know if the OP is even still here to listen, regardless, here are my two cents..

The more you learn about fitness and nutrition, you'll see even more contradictions. It goes along with the adage "the more you learn, the more you realize how little you know".

What that said, there are some fast and hard truths that have proven true time and time again, such as a person can do more harm than good to their metabolism by eating so few calories. You need to eat enough. That number is subjective, depending on many factors.

When it comes to the 'frills' of fitness, such as, eat this, eat that way, carbs are good, carbs are bad, macros matter and micros don't, micros are everything, etc, etc.... then, I tend to only listen to people who look significantly better than me and also seem smart and logical OR they have a lifelong career of fitness/nutrition (20+ years) or a nutrition degree and have shown me the paper, lol.

I have one person on my list of friends that I listen to who has made fitness his career for years and helped many people, approaching everything always from the science and logic, never the trend.

MochaMixAZ

For those that posted to this thread with the best of intentions, this update is for you. I hope I'm not betraying any confidence with this post, but it's so exciting... I'll risk it if I am.

I do understand where the naysayers were coming from when they responded to the OP. I can rationalize (not condone) the meaner comments. I know some people make it a game to create screen accounts and post inflammatory, stupid, and derogatory comments for their own amusement. Some folks, reasonably, questioned if this was the case with on this thread.

I want to announce - THAT WAS NOT THE CASE. This man was at a low spot in his life and had reached out. Whatever you thought of his original question or sentiments, they were very real.

I am so excited to share that he has reached out to others in personal messages. AND from his correspondences, he has reflected on at least some of the feedback. AND - he has made some amazing, exciting, fabulous, great strides!!!!!

I won't say more, it's not my place to do so and I truly hope I haven't violated his confidence already, but I thought it incredibly important to let people know that while this IS the internet... and we all have screen names... and a semblance of anonymity... there are real people behind the text. What you say CAN impact other people, their lives, and their choices. It's a power we don't all deserve and often abuse.

With respect to the amazing community that exists here, I ask us all to keep this in mind as we read the stories in the forums.... and to remember our words can change the world for better or worse.

Thanks for listening.

Froody2

That's great to hear and once again, we'll said

shayemimi

For those that posted to this thread with the best of intentions, this update is for you. I hope I'm not betraying any confidence with this post, but it's so exciting... I'll risk it if I am.

I do understand where the naysayers were coming from when they responded to the OP. I can rationalize (not condone) the meaner comments. I know some people make it a game to create screen accounts and post inflammatory, stupid, and derogatory comments for their own amusement. Some folks, reasonably, questioned if this was the case with on this thread.

I want to announce - THAT WAS NOT THE CASE. This man was at a low spot in his life and had reached out. Whatever you thought of his original question or sentiments, they were very real.

I am so excited to share that he has reached out to others in personal messages. AND from his correspondences, he has reflected on at least some of the feedback. AND - he has made some amazing, exciting, fabulous, great strides!!!!!

I won't say more, it's not my place to do so and I truly hope I haven't violated his confidence already, but I thought it incredibly important to let people know that while this IS the internet... and we all have screen names... and a semblance of anonymity... there are real people behind the text. What you say CAN impact other people, their lives, and their choices. It's a power we don't all deserve and often abuse.

With respect to the amazing community that exists here, I ask us all to keep this in mind as we read the stories in the forums.... and to remember our words can change the world for better or worse.

Thanks for listening.

Thanks for posting. I actually went into my history and searched this, because I was wondering about this person and how he was doing. I read this thread a few days ago and it touched me even tho I didn't respond. Good luck to you OP and everyone who is on this awesome journey to be all we can be!

laserturkey

The ONLY way I can hope to reach and then maintain a healthy weight is by measuring what I eat and knowing how much I burn, and keeping track on a daily basis. It's really not that time-consuming, especially as your list of favorites and recent foods shapes up, because you don't necessarily have to search for each and every item that you've had before. The iPhone app makes it ridiculously easy and convenient to track stuff. Don't want to take the time to enter data in a restaurant? Snap a photo of your plate and use it as a memory aid when you have time to log later.

xxvogue

OP, I don't know if you're still reading this, or still continuing your journey but I'm glad to see you responded.

I was a compulsive eater - A LOT OF US - were/are compulsive eaters. I remember at the beginning of the year crying on a few occasions because I desperately wanted to be able to resist buying the foods, but I couldn't. Even know I make mistakes. I don't even want to tell everyone about the PINT of ice cream I put away today. Which makes me feel awful.
I usually buy sorbet for that very reason. 1) I find it easier to stop with sorbet. 2) Even if I don't stop it does a hell of a lot less damage. Though, admittedly, the ice cream I ate today wasn't the worst I could have eaten.

But, I'm going to get back on to eating like I'm supposed to tomorrow. I know I probably wont gain anything from that pint, because I eat at a slightly bigger deficit anyways, and combined with all the other days of good eating that pint of ice cream won't kill me. No matter how gross I now feel about it. (Ladies, can we blame it on shark week?)

If i buy that food, I eat it. Period. Not chips so much, but ice cream is my biggest trigger food. I am getting better slower, but it's easier if I don't cave and buy it to begin with. So I understand 100%. I do understand your struggle. To be honest, I'd probably be 50 pounds heavier than my highest weight today if external circumstances hadn't FORCED me to lose weight to begin with (You'd be surprised what living in the third world will do to you: limited diet, and constant stomach illness helped me lose 30 pounds in 5 months with no real effort on my part).

But, you can eat healthy calories too. There are healthy calorie dense foods. Almonds, avocados, lentils, etc. Some are more expensive than others, but lentils are pretty cheap. Rice is pretty cheap (though go with the brown rice). If you don't want to eat the trigger foods, there are other options. And if you really, really are going for clean living that won't trigger you, then I will recommend Eat to Live Again. It's OK if you're not ready to eat a cheeseburger yet. I get it. Many of us get it.

That's the thing about being overweight - most of us didn't make a conscious decision to become over weight. And there are many of us that really suffer from our relationship with food. Maybe we use it to fill a void, and we've had a hard life. Maybe we associate it with being happy. Maybe we're compulsive eaters. This group will know what you're going through. At times this group can be snarky and "mean," but sometimes that's what people need. If that's not your style look to the kind hearted posters. But, no matter what, I guarantee that you will find a support structure here if you choose to accept it. This entire forum is filled with strangers who understand your pain, and who want you to succeed at your goals just like they did.

For the record OP, I'm a student that's been known to live on less than 50 dollars a week food wise in BOSTON (I.E where food prices are twice as high, eggs in Boston are at least $1 more than here). You can do this, if you need help, message me and I'll try to put a list of cheaper foods that are likely to be untriggering.

Good luck OP, we hope that you make a decision that is good for you, but ultimately change comes from you.

MochaMixAZ

Don't want to take the time to enter data in a restaurant? Snap a photo of your plate and use it as a memory aid when you have time to log later.

What a GREAT IDEA!