Getting my head sorted......

jennielou75

I had bariatric surgery late June last year. I lost 3 and a half stone before and have lost more since. I have now lost 8 stone 11 pounds and I am a very different person to the one I was a year ago.

Now for the stupid bit. I have my 6 month check up on Wednesday next week and I really wanted to be at the 9 stone lost mark then. I know it won't happen. There is no way I can lose 3 pounds healthily in 3 days. I need to appreciate the new life I have been given and concentrate on keeping going to lose the 2/3 stone I have left to lose. I just have this fear they will not be happy because I have not achieved the whole 9 stones.

I am looking into counselling as I don't want to do anything to jeapodise my new chance at life. Whilst I love the fact my body now looks nearly 'normal' I have the fact I still have a large stomach and fatty upper thighs. Stupid I know but minds are strange things.

My life is so different now. I am wearing a new outfit when I go to work on monday that I would never have worn at my heaviest, I can move around without pain, well except after leaving the gym but that is to be expected!!! I just need to get my head sorted....any advice???

I am grateful for all my surgery has given me and I know people on here have strong views on surgery but I am hoping people will look past that and give advice on dealing with physical and mental changes after large weight loss.

I am off to the gym for a personal training session where I have no doubt I will be given different advice again as it is with a new trainer but that is a whole seperate post!

fraser112

If the number is all that matters to you just hack of your foot. start just above the ankle and use a hacksaw that will get you the weight loss you desire. I mean you have to have it now right.

cassabirdy

Pretty nasty post dude. The op was asking for genuine advice not nasty quips.

sandradev1

You have done so brilliantly and have achieved so uch. The scale number is just a mindset. People at work will see you in your new clothes on Monday and think WOW, doesn't she look good. They are not going to think....pity she didn't lose that 3 lbs - Remember that only you and the DR know the figure on the scale, everyone else see's the real result.

I am absolutely sure that they will not be dismayed by your not reaching the 9st mark. I would imagine that they set this as a ball park round figure and may even be surprised that you got so near to it. 3lbs is nothing in the grand scheme of things.

Just keep doing, what your doing and the rest will just fall away too. Excess flab/skin etc will go in time and like the scales, remember this is only visible to the people you wish to show it to.

Good luck :flowerforyou:

fraser112

Pretty nasty post dude. The op was asking for genuine advice not nasty quips.

Im just making a point. 3 pounds means nothing that is exactly how op is thinking about it. 3 pounds is one big trip to bathroom or a large meal i was just trying to give perspective.

Body image issues will take years to go away if ever It is the main thing that upsets me about the nutters on the thin privilege blogs.
Liking how you look and liking yourself are 2 separate that people confuse all the time. All you can do is work on them
You can love yourself and still dislike your body
you can love your body and hate yourself.

Nothing anyone can say an change how the op feels about her body just like when fat acceptance people can lie and bull about loving being morbidly obese.

Op start weighing yourself once a week only and stand naked infront of a mirror and say i dislike this and i can change it. If not you have to accept it. Pounds lost is a pretty pointless measure as well i could lose 10 pounds by friday just by cutting of carbs but it will all come back and i will look the same.

sandradev1

Pretty nasty post dude. The op was asking for genuine advice not nasty quips.

Im just making a point. 3 pounds means nothing that is exactly how op is thinking about it. 3 pounds is one big trip to bathroom or a large meal i was just trying to give perspective.

^^^^ Oh how wonderful it must feel to be so young and know so much so quickly, perhaps you should take a step back and collect up things like care, sensitivity etc that you seem to have forgotten along the way

jennielou75

Don't worry since having surgery and posting about it on here I have learnt to have a thicker skin.

I know I am being stupid. The docs have not set me any weight to aim at it is my own aim and what the heck I am not going to get there. The scales always go up after I have been to the gym anyway so it may be evevn more than 3 lbs tomorrow but who said losing weight was going to be easy.

What I am talking about is the need to get mental issues sorted with the physical. My operation is helping me with the pysical but now I need to get my head sorted. I need this to work, I was slowly killing myself and will not go back there. I was just wondeing if anyone had had counselling or therapy support with weight loss and did it help??

Oh and by the way I have very skinny feet and ankles now so might have to lose a whole leg to make the 3lbs!!! Oh well I can hop!

havingitall

The doctor would have given you the 9 st loss as a target. The fact that you are only 3 lbs off is amazing and you should be proud of what you have done. As you lose weight, you will become more critical of your body than you were at you heaviest. I don't know why this happens, but it is so normal. Each lump and bump that is still there stands out like a sore thumb.

Before you lost the weight, you did not have the same focus on your body. Now you are focusing on it all. Be proud of what you have lost. I am sure that the doctor will be pleased as well.

Don't look at what you haven't done, look at what you have done!

And ignore negative people who post nasty things. Obviously they have never been in a position such as yours

Keep up with what you are doing and be proud

havingitall

Don't worry since having surgery and posting about it on here I have learnt to have a thicker skin.

I know I am being stupid. The docs have not set me any weight to aim at it is my own aim and what the heck I am not going to get there. The scales always go up after I have been to the gym anyway so it may be evevn more than 3 lbs tomorrow but who said losing weight was going to be easy.

What I am talking about is the need to get mental issues sorted with the physical. My operation is helping me with the pysical but now I need to get my head sorted. I need this to work, I was slowly killing myself and will not go back there. I was just wondeing if anyone had had counselling or therapy support with weight loss and did it help??

Oh and by the way I have very skinny feet and ankles now so might have to lose a whole leg to make the 3lbs!!! Oh well I can hop!

Love your attitude! Counseling may help. This is all a big change for you

sarahrbraun

I had bariatric surgery late June last year. I lost 3 and a half stone before and have lost more since. I have now lost 8 stone 11 pounds and I am a very different person to the one I was a year ago.

Now for the stupid bit. I have my 6 month check up on Wednesday next week and I really wanted to be at the 9 stone lost mark then. I know it won't happen. There is no way I can lose 3 pounds healthily in 3 days. I need to appreciate the new life I have been given and concentrate on keeping going to lose the 2/3 stone I have left to lose. I just have this fear they will not be happy because I have not achieved the whole 9 stones.

I am looking into counselling as I don't want to do anything to jeapodise my new chance at life. Whilst I love the fact my body now looks nearly 'normal' I have the fact I still have a large stomach and fatty upper thighs. Stupid I know but minds are strange things.

My life is so different now. I am wearing a new outfit when I go to work on monday that I would never have worn at my heaviest, I can move around without pain, well except after leaving the gym but that is to be expected!!! I just need to get my head sorted....any advice???

I am grateful for all my surgery has given me and I know people on here have strong views on surgery but I am hoping people will look past that and give advice on dealing with physical and mental changes after large weight loss.

I am off to the gym for a personal training session where I have no doubt I will be given different advice again as it is with a new trainer but that is a whole seperate post!

I think it is just going to take time to wrap your head around the look of your new body. I lost 33 lbs over 11 months and I am having similar body image issues. When I started I was a plus sized 18....and yesterday I went shopping and bought size medium and large pants?! But I still need a size XL shirt. I look like an ice cream cone--big on top with a smaller lower body.

also, it is going to take time for the skin to tighten up

sandradev1

I just love your resolve and from your reply I think that you are one tough person. We do all have bad days, we can look in the mirror and see ourselves as still as fat as ever and other times we can think.WOW.

I think if you are continually feeling bad about it then perhaps look at some form of counselling but if it is only now and then, just try to ride it through. Come onto the boards, look at other success stories, or look at Introduce Yourself posts of people who are just starting out to cheer yourself up that you have already come so far.

I just know that your strength and good humour will take you to your target.

nguk123

In your head unsorted condition, is it a general anxiety that troubles you, or are we talking about you finding yourself performing damaging/unproductive behaviours that you wish to stop?

jennifer_417

It can take time to mentally adjust to major life changes. Give yourself some grace and time to think things over. Talk it over with a close friend or family member that you trust. If you don't have anyone like that, contact a local church, which will often counseling for free or at a low cost.

nanniejulie

you have done so amazingly well dont beat yourself up over 3 pounds look what youve gained with your weight loss and keep up the good work....as for the surgery i would be in the queue for it if my GP would co operate but i cant afford to go private and the NHS wont do it....bless them

jennielou75

My GP was amazing and just referred me stright away. The process was easy and I know how lucky I am. I have gotten used to losing around 3 lbs a week and haven't really plateaued yet. I feel a really weird mix of feelings. I am proud of what I have achieved, I have had only support from those close to me and colleagues and it has been a real time of change.

I thought I would feel happy once my body started changing but now I find I am more critical of myself and my body than I ever was before. I watch every mouthful and I feel really guilty if I eat any wasteful carbs. I feel the pressure is on to be successful and to not regain any weight. And I do know it is pressure I have put on myself after reading forums and the opinions of others. Also I know there are people out there who are fighting for the opportunity I have had so I feel I need to not let anyone down.

I know I have it in me and I changed my mind set before my op that this has to be a lifelong dedication to excercise and healthy eating.

I am going to look into counselling to prepare myself for the difficulties that I know lie ahead. I want my future life to be less stressful, healthy and happy and not sooooo obsessed with food and calories as I feel I am at the moment.