Can't help feeling hopeless

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Msnatalieann
Msnatalieann Posts: 56 Member
in Motivation and Support
I keep trying and I keep failing and I don't want to fail anymore. I just want to lose this weight. I want to lose the weight that I put on 8 years ago. I want to be done with it. I want this to be a thing of the past. it doesn't feel like I'm ever going to lose the weight. I am so glad that I have people on my Fitness Pal but I just feel like I can't do this. I see all these people who lost so much weight and I'm just so clueless like how have you done it because everytime I try it fails I either don't lose weight or gain weight and that's without any hiccups. I don't understand why. I'm so tired of hurting over my weight.

Replies

  • bathsheba_c
    bathsheba_c Posts: 1,873 Member
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    Well, what have you tried so far? Everyone starts out clueless.

    A lot of times, people fail because they make the following mistakes:
    -They think that being on a diet means eating nothing but salad
    -They try changing all of their bad habits at once instead of one at a time
    -They don't really have a good sense of how much they are eating

    Does any of that sound like you?
  • angelzoya519
    angelzoya519 Posts: 80
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    First, take a deep breath hold it for a few second then let it out slowly. Nothing is gonna work over night. Best thing to do is exercise, watch what u eat and remember not to stress out too much and if u do eat healthy foods instead of going for the fatty foods. And remember just b/c u see people losing alot of weight doesn't mean they didn't struggle with theirs. We all struggle at one point in time. Just remember u can do it and u will do it. And remember you have friends on here that are in the boat and are here to help.
  • Debz13yz_
    Debz13yz_ Posts: 17
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    im not very good at this but dont give up! you can do this. heck i havent lost any weight yet, but im not going to give up! im tired too but i wont give in. patience friend and it will happen. be strong and know u can!
  • rduhlir
    rduhlir Posts: 3,550 Member
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    Nat, make your food profile visible to your friends and we can help you! But we can't help you if we can't see what is going on.
  • Supertrim1234
    Supertrim1234 Posts: 2
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    Remember : "the journey of a thousand miles begins with just one step" (chinese proverb). This is so true for weight loss. One pound at a time, one day at time. When I think about all the weight I have to lose (60 pounds), it's overwhelming and frustrating. I'm trying to focus on smaller goals that ultimately lead to success.
  • Msnatalieann
    Msnatalieann Posts: 56 Member
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    I've just made my profile public. Today was bad. I feel like I gained back everything I lost today. All because of emotions. I had my sister in laws bday today and I can't stand her and I know I let her get to me. I can't stand my husband family. Mine is 1200 miles away. I have no friends and I'm a stay at home mom. I'm lonely. I'm sad. I need to lose this freaking weight. I can't fail again. I can't handle it.
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 48,619 Member
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    I've just made my profile public. Today was bad. I feel like I gained back everything I lost today. All because of emotions. I had my sister in laws bday today and I can't stand her and I know I let her get to me. I can't stand my husband family. Mine is 1200 miles away. I have no friends and I'm a stay at home mom. I'm lonely. I'm sad. I need to lose this freaking weight. I can't fail again. I can't handle it.
    Doesn't sound like weight is your issue. If you lost the weight, you'd still have the problems above. Find a way to fix those, and the eating issues will probably subside and you wouldn't feel so hopeless.

    A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 28+ years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
  • Ralphrabbit
    Ralphrabbit Posts: 351 Member
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    Ever tried counselling to look at how you got where you are?
    I did this & it is making sticking to healthy eating & exercise a whole lot easier!!
  • Msnatalieann
    Msnatalieann Posts: 56 Member
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    Well, what have you tried so far? Everyone starts out clueless.

    A lot of times, people fail because they make the following mistakes:
    -They think that being on a diet means eating nothing but salad
    -They try changing all of their bad habits at once instead of one at a time
    -They don't really have a good sense of how much they are eating

    Does any of that sound like you?

    What I have tried so far is light exercise, and huge forodchanges, dropping soda, watching my calories and fat. And yes, I am an all our nothing gal. Too many changes to fast? I feel like if I don't go all in I will not get anywhere.
  • aerdna88
    aerdna88 Posts: 74 Member
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    Remember : "the journey of a thousand miles begins with just one step" (chinese proverb).

    I love this!!!!!!
  • aerdna88
    aerdna88 Posts: 74 Member
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    I have been out of this for several months now....but Im back now!!!! I remember last year at this time wondering the same thing. I figured out that my calorie intake was too low. It was telling me 1200....and I needed 1450. I ate pretty much whatever I wanted as long as it was in my calorie range. I did do shakes for breakfast almost daily and then lunch too sometimes...just had snacks in between there (usually healthy stuff), and a good dinner. I worked out every day. At first I hated it....but then it became routine and I felt bad when I COULDNT work out. Just hang in there. It'll take time. Looks like you have lost 7 pounds (I think it said) so far....and thats a start. Once you start seeing the weight come off more and more you will be motivated to push harder. Good luck.
  • GdeVries
    GdeVries Posts: 235 Member
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    Hi there, I'm with you on this. It's a struggle that I have each day, too. I started more than a year ago and should have lost tons of weight, friends on MFP have lost lots. Very depressing.

    I fell off the wagon for months last year. I started a new job, then another new job with weird hours. My husband got laid off, twice. Worked weird hours. All of which made it hard for me to have a routine, and I do like my routine.

    What I have gained is a better sense of what I should and shouldn't be eating. That's not to say I always eat healthy.... I try to eat healthy most days and splurge a little on others.

    I also exercise a lot more, and I actually enjoy it. Not from day one...oh no. But later, as my body got used to moving and my heart got stronger. I can now run 4 km (2.5 miles). WHAT? me? I couldn't have made the bus stop just 3 months ago. I'm still working on that, too. I want to run 5 km within 30 minutes. I enjoy doing it. Yeah, I'm sore after, but I enjoy being sore. It feels good. Seriously.

    So I'm at least somewhat healthier even if I haven't gotten to my goal yet.

    Pretty much everything we know about food is wrong. Fast food is a mess, it's simple carbs and lots of fat which makes you hungry again faster. For me reducing my carbs certainly helped. Cutting out some of the bread, tortilla's, potatoes etc. Soda pop is another empty calorie bomb. Water is the best thing to drink, but sometimes you want to some flavor. Maybe diet? Or tea?

    Read through the forums, look at others food diaries. You CAN do this. And you'll get plenty of support here for your lifestyle change!

    Good luck!
  • Msnatalieann
    Msnatalieann Posts: 56 Member
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    Thank you all for your replies.
  • Natihilator
    Natihilator Posts: 1,778 Member
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    Yeah, I called myself an 'all or nothing' girl too until I truly learned the definition of balance.

    You WILL fail unless you truly believe that you won't, that you can't fail because failing is not going to be an option anymore. Also, you NEED to accept that there will be times where you will overeat, where you fall off the wagon, where you won't lose the weight you want to or even gain a few lbs. You need to recognize that those are minor setbacks and not a chance to tell yourself "I told you so" and quit.

    Forget 'doing this for your family', for photos, for smaller sized clothing sitting in the back of your closet- in your weakest moments (and they will happen) having confidence in yourself to reach your weight loss goal may be all you have to keep you going.

    I think right now your goal should be to try to not to get so overwhelmed. Your ticker says you have 126lbs. to lose, try changing it to a 50lb. loss as your first goal. If you have 10 bad habits that keep you from sticking to a healthier diet, focus on just 1 or 2 of those habits for a few weeks before you get to the rest. This isn't a race, no one is timing you, relax and trust the process.
  • michellekicks
    michellekicks Posts: 3,624 Member
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    If you have to go "all in", go all in to one goal each month. Set a modest weight loss goal... 1/2 lb weight loss per week. Trust me. In 6 months you'll be feeling awesome and can re-evaluate if you need. Then commit to meeting that goal daily... with whatever you want to eat. Take your weight, your bust/waist/hips measurements and a full length photo.

    For the rest of January, meet your calorie target without exceeding it. Every day. I dare you.

    In February, exercise at least 4 days a week for the entire month. That's 16 workouts. No problem.

    In March, join a new activity you've never tried... martial arts, swimming, running, dance...

    In April, look at what you're eating and add more protein until you're eating .8g/day for every lb you weigh.

    In May, lift weights twice a week on top of your 4 days of cardio.

    In June, aim for a minimum of 5 servings of fruits and veggies every day.

    On June 30th, take some more measurements and another photo. Compare side-by-side...

    You can do this...
  • Mcgrawhaha
    Mcgrawhaha Posts: 1,596 Member
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    I cant even remember the amount of times that I started a weightloss plan, and FAILED!!! If weight loss was easy, gues what... everyone would be thin! Weight loss takes motivation, determination, patience, and the ability to set and work hard to reach goals. You have to be 100% fully vested, otherwise, its not going to work. Its like when someone quits smoking... it usually takes more than 1 attempt, and until that person is genuinly ready to quit, and to quit for themselves, then thats when it will happen. This is the first time in my life that I have actually stuck to a weight loss plan. This past summer, I saw myself in some pictures, and I was horrified at my size. I had reached 246 pounds, and it showed! What made this time different than the rest? I cant say for sure, all I know is 1) I want it. 2) I have motivation and continue to keep my motivation through ways I have found help, like viewing before and after pictures on the success stories EACH AND EVERY MORNING BEFORE STARTING MY DAY. 3) I have learnd to say NO, to my friends and family. 4) I have found that excercise actually gives me more energy. and 5) Shrinking from fat clothes feels so awesome, and it gives you the hunger to keep going, keep losing, and stay on track!

    Its definately do-able! I still have atleast 25 pounds to go, and when I get there, maybe Ill decide to stay, or maybe Ill decide to lose more, Im not sure yet... You can do it, but you have to stay strong, stay motivated, and remember that each day that you work hard and stay on track, your a day closer to your goals.

    God bless, and good luck!
  • hmadrone
    hmadrone Posts: 129 Member
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    You can do it!

    Do it for yourself. Do it for your kids. Do it because you want to feel alive and vibrant. Do it because you want to feel great about yourself.

    You are releasing this weight because you love yourself, because you deserve the best. Pamper yourself in ways that feed the real you. Don't just bury her in excess calories.

    When you choose to eat something for your health instead of to bury your sadness, it's an act of love. When you choose to take a small portion instead of a large one, it's an act of love. When you choose to exercise instead of polishing off a bag of cookies, it's an act of love. When you choose to spend time with your kids having fun instead of cleaning the house, it's an act of love.

    Everything counts, even if you blow it all tomorrow. Just forgive yourself and move on. Be loving to yourself tomorrow. And the next day. And every day for the rest of your life.

    I have four kids myself. I know that we mamas have to keep our tanks full so we can be the endless wells of stuff that kids need us to be.

    Focus on doing things that fill you for real.

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