Hurtful Comments can be turned into Motivation

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shellma00
shellma00 Posts: 1,684 Member
in Motivation and Support
Yesterday I took my mom to the Goodwill store and we were looking at pants. I was talking about how they had all these cute dress pants in size 8 and I could not wait until I was in a size 8 so that I could wear cute clothes like that. Her response back to me was something along these lines... "that is wishful thinking, you will never be a size 8, your best bet would be to shoot for a size 12 and be happy with that, fat chance you will ever get below a 12" .. now those were not her exact words, but that is the gist of what she said. I was hurt/crushed at first, shes my mother. She's supposed to be supportive. My response back to her was.. "well just wait until I prove you wrong". I am a size 16 and last year I lost enough weight to fit in to SOME 12's and mostly 14's and then gained it all back so she decided to remind me of how I gained everything back and would never be able to keep the weight off. SO THIS IS MY YEAR!!! THIS YEAR I PROVE EVERYONE WRONG!!! THIS YEAR I WILL SUCCEED!! No one.. not even my moms comments will stop me... they will just have to do as negative motivation I guess. :)

Replies

  • TropicalFlowerz
    TropicalFlowerz Posts: 1,990 Member
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    AMEN!!! I think yur mom and my mom must be best buds!!....But this is our time to shine,we dig deep,we do the work,and we will succeed!!!!!!! I'm with ya mama!! we got this!!!!
  • shellma00
    shellma00 Posts: 1,684 Member
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    The crazy thing is.. she wears the same size clothes as me and she is about 3 inches shorter.. So she should be trying with me instead of trying to drag me down.

    We seem to have a lot in common TropicalFlowe I am so glad we became friends!! :)
  • dmcrass
    dmcrass Posts: 6
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    AMEN!!! I think yur mom and my mom must be best buds!!....But this is our time to shine,we dig deep,we do the work,and we will succeed!!!!!!! I'm with ya mama!! we got this!!!!

    I think all of our moms hang out with each other!!!!!!!!!
  • LivingJuicy
    LivingJuicy Posts: 54 Member
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    Love your attitude! My mom does the same thing to me, and don't even get me started on the pot calling the kettle black. You should go back to Goodwill and buy a cute pair of size 8 pants, and hang them on the door outside your closet as a visual reminder of your goal, and then sashay yourself right over to your mother's place when you can put them on. You can do it. I KNOW you will!
  • blondie0942
    blondie0942 Posts: 146 Member
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    I'm with you... a few days ago, I was talking to one of my friends about my weight loss goals and he said something along the lines of "yeah, when you lose all that weight you'll start looking so good!" ouch.. I guess I'm not looking good now? :/ oh well, like you said- use it as motivation!
  • mockchoc
    mockchoc Posts: 6,573 Member
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    You'll be even smaller than those pants now thanks to her :) You will do it, I just feel it!!! Now get to it!
  • Lrdoflamancha
    Lrdoflamancha Posts: 1,280 Member
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    Let your haters be your motivators..... I will make them eat every word. No matter what or how long it takes.
  • Sharon_C
    Sharon_C Posts: 2,132 Member
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    SO THIS IS MY YEAR!!! THIS YEAR I PROVE EVERYONE WRONG!!! THIS YEAR I WILL SUCCEED!!

    THIS THIS THIS THIS THIS!!!! :flowerforyou:
  • Sharon_C
    Sharon_C Posts: 2,132 Member
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    Let your haters be your motivators..... I will make them eat every word. No matter what or how long it takes.

    Let's hope those words are high in calories too. So there ::nods::
  • BSH2622
    BSH2622 Posts: 10 Member
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    THATS RIGHT, ITS OUR YEAR !!! AND NO, WE HERE ON MFP WANT SEE YOU IN A SIZE 8 AFTER ALL !!! WE WILL ALL SEE YOU IN A SIZE 6 !!!!! KEEP THAT DRIVE AND IT WANT BE LONG !!! GOOD LUCK !!!
  • rerowland99
    rerowland99 Posts: 7
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    Trust me, I know how you feel. Parents and even grandparents can be extremely negative and critical. I have had my feelings hurt so many times regarding my weight loss goals. My mom lowering my expectations, my grandmother asking "what crazy diet" I'm on now when I'm just really trying to eat better so that I won't have the heart troubles that come along with being part of my family. I think we're both in the right place to take care of those goals, though. This website is honestly the most useful weight-loss tool I think I have ever used. Good luck to you, my dear and let your "haters" be your motivators. Lol.
  • wannadance
    wannadance Posts: 59
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    The crazy thing is.. she wears the same size clothes as me and she is about 3 inches shorter.. So she should be trying with me instead of trying to drag me down.

    We seem to have a lot in common TropicalFlowe I am so glad we became friends!! :)

    and maybe that's part of it - it took a long time (around 10 months and lots of positive comments from other people) for my mum to start responding more positively - I think she was so used to me being the size i was the prospect of change was a bit much.. she too had seen me lose and gain in previous years so that probably didn't help. I did read somewhere too, that many others have experienced similar comments from family / co-workers (me again) / friends that were similar sized - most put it down to that individual's own insecurities / jealousy etc... not saying that plays a part with your mum but we all see things differently / respond differently so who knows :flowerforyou:
  • shellma00
    shellma00 Posts: 1,684 Member
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    I love MFP and all of the supportive people here. I know we all have the same or similar goals. Thanks everyone for your kind comments and motivation. Without you.. I would give up instantly!! You are all GREAT!!
  • snapback101
    snapback101 Posts: 8
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    The hurtful thing is it's not just family, some acquaintances so "kindly" pointed out how my fingers look fatter with nailpolish on, or the fact that I'm just naturally "big-boned", or my butt takes up too much room in the car. I used the hurt and anger As fuel and will change to prove I ain't no big boned fat fingered big butt girl!
  • mochachocolatte80
    mochachocolatte80 Posts: 3
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    Moms can be cruel sometimes. I think the intention is good but, the way the words come out, cut to the heart. I am a size 16 and my mom is pretty and skinny. What I wouldn't give to be a size 8. So I like what you said about this is your year. I feel the same way. My resolve is to lose it and be done with it for 2013.
  • Texgal9816
    Texgal9816 Posts: 28 Member
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    I'm so sorry your mom said that to you! You are going to prove her wrong and rock those size 8 or smaller pants! Best of luck to you on your journey!
  • aynhagenbarth
    aynhagenbarth Posts: 75 Member
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    I'm proud of you for turning that comment into positive motivation! I think people sabotage unintentionally and that is why I stopped talking to people about what I was doing to lose weight unless I could tell they were really truly on my side. It really helped! I started at a size 18 6 years ago and I got down to a size 6 which I truly never ever thought would happen so it is possible!!! I had never been under a 12 before that! So you can definitely do it and don't let anyone bring you down!!!
  • darleyschroeder
    darleyschroeder Posts: 322
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    You will show her. You can totally do it, I don't know why she would say that to you. She either doesn't think you have what it takes or is insecure about her own size.
    Maybe when she sees how good you are doing and when you flaunt your size 8 jeans in front of her, she will want to join you!
  • Moe0112
    Moe0112 Posts: 123 Member
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    Wow that's crazy! But good for you to have that be your motivation!!

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