Opinion about relationships

AngelJLV83

OPINION: I know both options are not ideal but: Which is worse:

a) Someone who is "passive aggressive" and will go into ignore mode and cut off ALL communication until they feel like resuming the argument
OR
b) someone that yells and is loud during an argument, but will always respond, even if it is brutally honest and impulsive

dirtnap63

I choose A. At least the lines of communication are open. With B you have no idea what the problem is and if it will ever be resolved.
Also I happen to be more B than A, but I'm working on getting to C, rational discussion :ohwell:

El_guapo22

I say A

cmriverside

"A" is difficult to deal with, but I understand it - some people hate confrontation and literally shut down.

Sometimes a cooling off is a good thing before words become so hurtful that they can't be taken back. If it gets so heated that there is name calling and yelling, it's best to resume the discussion when things are less volatile. So "B" isn't always good, either.

cmriverside

Ha ha, so I would choose "A" as worse, because you ssaid 'passive-aggressive' - which is lots different than hating confrontation.

BeachGingerOnTheRocks

A. I like A. A works well within my happy marriage. We often joke about it because we've been together so long that we can decipher A without needing to resort to B very often.

SwimFan1981

A is worse for me.

angelams1019

My ex was A and I was B and I would have DEFINITELY preferred for him to be a B too!! Even if you're yelling, at least the issue is out i the open! THEN you can wok to fix it. If you don't know whats wrong, or the person REFUSES to discuss it, nothing will ever get resolved!

nuemmedigg

Difficult one. A is hard to live with, one feels like one is walking on eggshells, not knowing what's wong. B is easier in that area, one knows where one stands, but for kids, B is very destructive and can lead to feelings of inadequacy for the rest of their lives.

hedgiie

both, it will depend on the situation, issue and topic.

Skeebee

definitely A. Because too much of A actually ends up to a VERY abrupt B at some point....but, a very harmful B...

HeidiMightyRawr

I think A. I'd rather have a good old-fashioned shouting match than them just ignore me for ages. Also, I can deal with honest. If they were saying hurtful things that they didn't mean though on impulse, I might have to say that that B would be worse (even though A would do my head in!)

MsDover

I am an A... rather than rant and say something I can't take back I take a step back and seeth for a while, then think it over carefully before I say anything else after I've calmed down. My husband is neither and A or a B.... he's the more rational of the two of us and has learned to just go with the flow of my style of conflict resolution.

aross001

A is worse, I think. In my family, free and sometimes loud communication is the way we work. We might have to apologize for an angry outburst, but at least we know exactly whats up with everyone's needs. No holding back. That's usually how I relate to a SO.

My relationships have taken a milder form of this over the years with varying results. I guess it all depends on what keeps a couple happy - I would imagine long term relationships would see both paradigms to varying degrees.

CloverCreeper

A is worse. I need to talk it out when i'm mad.

oregonzoo

I am A
He is B

This causes some good old fashioned shenannigans.

We're working on a middle.

DavPul

C. Alone time

poedunk65

the passive agressive.

laserturkey

A is definitely worse.

DeeDel32

B

Crisitunity

B is worse. If someone feels that they can scream at me over something that can be discussed calmly and rationally then I will absolutely stop talking to them until they can behave and treat me properly. It's a matter of having self respect.