Horror Tales from Being a Big Girl/Guy

jodrake5

So this morning I walk into my boss's office, and he has this chair right? Really solid chair, looks sturdy- so me (in all my infinite wisdom) decide to sit on the chair not like a normal person, 'cuz who has time for that, but like an IDIOT I sit on the arm of the chair and oh so casually rock back. BOOM! I land FLAT ON MY *kitten* in front of the big man, the chair goes sprawling- and on top of it, I blush like a TOMATO when I am embarrassed -my face literally turns bright red in 2 seconds.

Needless to say, I pick up the chair, apologize profusely, say what I need to say, and turn around and walk out and hope to Jesus I don't have to see him anymore today.

And I know the chair went splat because of my weight- a person half my size would have been able to get away with that. Any other horror stories from being a big girl or guy?

kelligrundhoffer

That is horrible, and hilarious, I'm so sorry!
Mine happened because of diet change,,,,, you eat healthy and your body decides to revolt on you!
I had been eating healthy, plenty of fruits and veggies and lean protien. I started working out with a trainer who suggested that I still had too many carbs in my diet to up my protien intake.... so I went to the store and bought about half a dozen protien shakes to figure out which ones didn't taste like *kitten*. I had my first one for breakfast and it wasn't bad. I was surprised really I CAN HAVE CHOCLATE AND NOT BE CHEATING! WOOHOO! So I had my first shake for breakfast and then one as a snack after dinner that day, the next morning I got up did my work out and headed off to my tuesday meeting coffee and shake in hand.
As I began my presentation to the big wigs of my job an audible BRRRRGGHHRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG came from my abdomen, the people in the back of the room could hear it and snickered a bit, but was worse was realizing the ones around the world could hear it as well, we were in a teleconference! I started to apologize when a second noise began and I felt the pressure.....you know, the pressure that cannot be contained,,,,,,I excused myself but before I made it to the door the RRRRIIIIPPPPIP began, and much to my mortification it was audible and not alone! I ran down the hall and into the bathroom, unfortunately leaving a trail of pooh down the hallway. Needless to say coming back to work the next day and week for that matter was ridiculously embarrasing, once everyone realized it was a side effect of the protien shakes I started getting ribbed for it becuase almost everyone at work drinks them too. the things we do to lose weight!

jodrake5

Omigoodness. THAT IS ABSOLUTELY TERRIBLE! I cannot imagine that happening to me. Holy cannoli - that is a horror story to the max. Thanks for sharing, its made me feel a wee bit better, lol.

KiltFuPanda

If I sat and thought about it, I could write my entire life as a series of "horror tales" about being big:

Infanthood and elementary:

- My mother having to throw out/give away my clothes when I was born and buy 12 month gear.
- When playing on the seesaw at recess, being able to counterbalance two kids at once...

Middle and High School:

- Being the only freshman to wrestle at "unlimited" class.
- Having to ride in a small car with my head out the sunroof.
- Walking onto an elevator, having the elevator drop 2 inches and everyone else hurry to get off at the next floor (this was a regular occurrence at my high school)

Adult life:

-Breaking a bed frame by just sitting on the corner of the mattress. While living in a furnished room I was renting from someone else.
-Leaning back in a chair only to have the chair frame BEND and BREAK. And it was a metal chair.
-Being asked to get out of a car while the owner tries to drive over a speed bump.
-Hitting the floor during kung fu class and putting my elbow THROUGH the floor.
-Walking fast and not looking where I'm going, hitting my shoulder on the door frame, and cracking the paint and plaster around the door.

Thankfully, I can list many good things while being a big guy - I can still fit in aircraft seats without needing a belt extender, I can still do a cartwheel, and so much more.

It's not exactly super embarrassing like most horror stories, but it's still quite annoying to have to think "Am I going to break this by sitting on it?" every day.

jodrake5

Dang KiltFu - your story sounds too familiar... glad to know I've got people out there.

oneworkoutatatime

:laugh: thanks for sharing guiys