have you ever wondered....

xoalynnxo

what you would do when you realize you will never get the 'after' body that you picture in your head?

maybe this is just me being a debbie downer because i'm impatient with my progress, but it got me thinking...i will probably never look the way i imagine my 'after' body will be. to be honest, i'm not 5'6", so that's definitely part of the issue; unrealistic expectations. i am currently 5'2" at 153lbs and i am SOOO unhappy with myself. I've lost about 6lbs so far and my goal is about another 30lbs away.

i see girls/women who are taller and skinnier and i just want that so bad. i started weight training so that i can lean up, but i just dont think i'll ever be as 'thin' as i want to be. I just feel like what is the point in trying if i'm going to be as unhappy with my body at 135 as i am with it at 150? i'm healthy, no dr tells me i need to lose weight, i exercise regularly, eat pretty healthy; i'm just miserable with this fat body that i'm stuck in.

maybe i'm making excuses for myself, but in all honesty i should be a lot smaller than i am. i am not build like a big boned person...yes i have broad shoulders and hips and i can fit in a size 7, but i also have rolls of fat on my stomach and lumps of it on my hips...so yes, a 7 is a nice size, but i am still very much overweight. i think i'm just getting discouraged with my lack of loss and progress this month and it's really bringing me down. i'm struggling so much with eating but not wanting to and feeling fat constantly.

i just really dont understand why i get so unhappy with myself when i start losing weight...anyone else experience this? every time i start to lose weight i end up being more unhappy with myself and my body and i become more critical of my flaws.

MrsCarpenter719

I hear you. Im the same way im inpatient for results but if you try and keep a positive attitude itll happen faster I feel. I was like this at first then i kept positive and ive lost 47 lbs in just under 5 months. But i feel like ill never be my "after" body either but I keep telling myself if i can widdle away a little bit at a time i will eventually get there. im 5'6 but i weigh 188 right now i would like to be down to 165 because thats what i was before being pregnant. but our bodies change. Hopefully with your weight lifting you'll see better results and like your body better!!! Good luck and I hoped i helped just a tad bit!

growingsmaller3

When it comes down to it, like you said, if you're not happy at your highest weight, you won't be happy at your lowest. However, that is not an issue of fitness or any particular body type. It's an issue of working to accept yourself, and the healthy, natural state of your body. This is why I have a problem with both the 'thinspo', and 'fitspo' communities that I've come across. When it comes down to it, idealizing a body type or two is unhealthy because you are never going to look like them. Idealizing any body whether it be a sickly emaciated one, or an overly muscular one is only self destructive in the long run, because you will never be that person, regardless of your diet or fitness routine. It's okay to be motivated by them, but you need to realize what your body is capable of, and love it for it's strengths! Your heart is still beating, your muscles are still functioning properly, and your lungs are still breathing. That is a lot more than some people can say for themselves, and even if you are upset by your body, still try to remember all the things it's capable of!

I struggled with this same issue quite a lot myself, and I'm happy to say that I am coming to accept myself, as I am. I am by no means done with this journey (and I don't think I ever will be), but i came to find that when I stopped idealizing these images of other women and started appreciating my body for what it was and the amazing things it is capable of.....I started to just feel much more happy, and comfortable in my own skin. I stopped idealizing these images of women I saw in the media/in gyms, and i started to accept my body's natural states.

May I suggest that you stop looking at these images, completely? It was a lot easier for me to start working on my body image and confidence, once I rid my life of those images; yes I still see them on the tv, but otherwise I don't look at 'fitspo' sites, and I don't look at magazines. I mean, really. Whats the point, if they only make you feel poorly about your own body, and efforts? Ya' know? Also- to help with body image....what I started doing was replacing every put down I made towards my body, with a positive comment, about my body's abilities. For example, if I thought 'my stomach is flabby!' I would then tell myself 'yes, but so what? That stomach has allowed for me to try many delicious cuisines, that sent many other people sick to their stomachs!', or 'My thighs look weird", and I could tell myself 'So? Those thighs are the same thighs that have carried me hundreds of miles, and have helped me express myself through dance'. They may seem petty and odd, but they helped me, so I figured they were worth recommending?


You have to remind yourself that while it does have what you may perceive to be nice aesthetic 'perks', fitness is also about your health. At least, that is what I try to remind myself, when i see these sorts of images. Think about it! Why do you desire to be so tall? Why do you desire to be so slim? Deep down, do you think those attributes are really more valuable, than good health? Good body image? Confidence? Who says that you 'should' be a lot smaller than you are? So what if you're overweight? The only thing that [at least in my opinion] matters is that you are striving to change your habits, and that never happens overnight. There is something a professor of mine told us about in a cognitive psychology class, that you may be able to relate to; he told us that a majority of his clients would come into his practice, seeking therapy because of expectations they had for themselves. He called it 'must-ter-bating'. He said that anytime a person really talks about things they 'must' be doing, or 'should' be doing, they need to sit back and think about WHO is telling them they 'must/should' do these things. So, I urge you to think: who is telling you that you should be a smaller size? Is it somebody else, or are you giving yourself these standards?

I mean, when you think about it, this is your life. Your decisions, your health, and your mentality. You need to remember that regardless of how discouraged you get, you always have the power to change rather your circumstances, or your perspectives.

I wish you the best of luck, on a happy and healthy life with your hubby! ^.^

dorianaldyn

I'm 5'2" too - I've always had a more muscular build but after I stopped nursing my second kid (he apparently ate a TON), my weight crept up over the following year. I got on a scale and was shocked to see 148 read out. I joined here and now, 90 days later I'm at 123. I'm super happy with the results (I typically workout daily, I try to keep calories around 1200 (I do eat back some exercise calories)). I'd like to get down about another 5 lbs, but I've majorly stalled over the past several weeks and I just don't know if that'll really be possible with my body type.

If you're not happy where you're at - you CAN do this. Diet & exercise really does work. Just make the decision and follow through. As I'm learning, your eventual goal might not be attainable, but you won't really know what is attainable for YOU until you really give it a try. For me, I'm learning that sub-120 might just not be possible - and I'm OK with that because I'm so happy about what I *have* been able to accomplish. Feel free to add me if you want to.