I am brand new and havent a clue!

I am so new to the whole working out thing. I won't say what I don't have or know. This way we can save time. Lol. What I do have and know is a workout dvd (taebo classics) and an account here. I'm trying to report and I don't know how big a serving is. I don't know how to track how many calories I burn. I don't even have a scale.............. did I mention I need help BAD!?