It was my privilege

taunto
taunto Posts: 6,420 Member
edited January 8 in Chit-Chat
Go on a date with a girl.
Take her to a nice restaurant.
She orders a shrimp cocktail and several drinks.
Ask for the check.
The waiter places the check in front of me,
Not in front of her, not in the middle of the table.
Look of horror comes across the girl's face.
I reach for the check and my credit card inside.
She begins to tremble.
Tears well up in her eyes.
I can tell she is paralyzed by fear at the oppression she is experiencing.
I chauvinistically place the check with my credit card on the table in front of me, daring her to do something about it.
The power of my oppression of this women surges through my body as I lean back in my seat and state directly at her.
She is shaking with fright, the oppression strangling her voice away.
The waiter returns to take the check away.
All is lost to her now.
Men at other tables begin to stand up and clap.
Women all over the restaurant begin to shriek and cry.
I ask my date, "Did you enjoy your dinner?".
"Y-yes... thank you", she says behind a mask of tears.
I lean forward, a devious, patriarchal smile spreading across my face.
And I tell her, "It was my privilege."

Replies

  • taunto
    taunto Posts: 6,420 Member
    Not my work, just something I found amusing and couldn't copy paste due to language restrictions on MFP
  • quirkytizzy
    quirkytizzy Posts: 4,052 Member
    As a staunch feminist, I have to say this evokes strong feelings of........

    hysterical laughter. :laugh: This is awesome.
  • Windy_
    Windy_ Posts: 1,012 Member
    Hi Taunto.






    I wish someone would ask me out on a date, being single and all.
  • taunto
    taunto Posts: 6,420 Member
    hi Windy_




    Wanna go out and drink some Camel milk with me in the desert? You will have to wear a Burka and you might be one of the 20 white women in the country
  • Silver_Star
    Silver_Star Posts: 1,351 Member
    I want that kind of oppression:laugh:
  • cmcollins001
    cmcollins001 Posts: 3,472 Member
    One day, I wish to be as brave as you...but for now, I'll cower down and use her credit card.
  • whierd
    whierd Posts: 14,025 Member
    Pfft, you call that oppression?! I challenge you to open a door for her! Bwahah...BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
  • Gilbrod
    Gilbrod Posts: 1,216 Member
    Camel milk. Yum....good and sour to the last drop. I don't miss it. Nor the burka.
  • pastryari
    pastryari Posts: 8,646 Member
    I saw that posted on imgur. I laughed.
  • UsedToBeHusky
    UsedToBeHusky Posts: 15,228 Member
    Why does this sound like a scene from 50 Shades of Grey?
  • taunto
    taunto Posts: 6,420 Member
    Camel milk. Yum....good and sour to the last drop. I don't miss it. Nor the burka.

    sour? Camel milk is actually rather sweet but the only time I drank it is straight out of the camel (no heating or anything processed to it) and within like 30 minutes of it.
  • BeachGingerOnTheRocks
    BeachGingerOnTheRocks Posts: 3,927 Member

    Wanna go out and drink some Camel milk with me in the desert? You will have to wear a Burka and you might be one of the 20 white women in the country

    Wow, Taunto, you really know how to woo the women.
  • sunsnstatheart
    sunsnstatheart Posts: 2,544 Member
    Awesome post Taunto
  • PikaKnight
    PikaKnight Posts: 34,971 Member
    This made me awwwww... :D

    Nice post Taunto..nice post :)

    :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou:
  • RunDoozer
    RunDoozer Posts: 1,699 Member
    I forgot my wallet
  • iAMsmiling
    iAMsmiling Posts: 2,394 Member
    Obvious troll post...as if Taunto had a date! Ha! :drinker: :bigsmile:
  • PikaKnight
    PikaKnight Posts: 34,971 Member
    Obvious troll post...as if Taunto had a date! Ha! :drinker: :bigsmile:

    Pfft. "Who" wouldn't date the hulk.... :tongue: :tongue: :tongue:
  • taunto
    taunto Posts: 6,420 Member
    Obvious troll post...as if Taunto had a date! Ha! :drinker: :bigsmile:

    Are you saying my right hand is not a lady?
  • taunto
    taunto Posts: 6,420 Member
    Obvious troll post...as if Taunto had a date! Ha! :drinker: :bigsmile:

    Pfft. "Who" wouldn't date the hulk.... :tongue: :tongue: :tongue:

    Remember, every part of Hulk grows when he's angry
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