Worried I won't stick to this again.

Guamybear

it is one of those things..you won't do it until you are absolutely ready too.. Like quitting smoking or drinking. Unless you are ready to do it you will probably quit again.

Something has to click with in you that you tell yourself this time is different. For me when the doc said I was border Pre-diabetic..that did it.. before then, I was a happy fat person..content eating my donuts but the thought of not having anymore donuts kicked me in the butt.

it is a slow process but every pound down makes me wanna do the happy dance!

MavenMassage505

FOOD DOES NOT CONTROL YOU. You are in control. Find out what makes you want to eat and help yourself heal from whatever that is and move foward a baby step everyday!

shannasaurus_rex

I can relate to this fear! If you've "done it all before," then you probably know most of these tricks. Set smaller goals. Think of it as a "way of life" and not a "diet." Don't let one indulgence ruin your whole day, week, etc. All of this is true, and when you're feeling strong and hopeful, they sound like really reasonable reframing tools - especially when you're riding high on the optimism of a New Years resolution (or whatever you want to call it).

But, underneath that, when you're having a bad day or a lazy day or a rebellious day, there's that inner voice - the one that asks, "why am I even bothering when it's clearly not possible?" I have that voice, too. It's a demon that I think, if we're honest, most of us who have a lot of weight to lose probably struggle with. It feels like you're at the bottom of a mountain, looking up and wondering how you'll ever get to the top. Honestly, I don't really know what the answer is for sure because I've never made it to the top, but I hear the view is incredible!!

This time around, here's what I'm doing differently. I'm really using these forums a lot, trying to connect with other people - people who have lost the amount of weight I want to, people who are interested in the same kinds of exercise I am, people who have already climbed the mountain, and people who are still climbing. I think it helps a lot to acknowledge that it IS hard to break old habits but that real people are fighting this fight along side you - every. single. day. - and more importantly, people DO actually make it to the top. It's not just those people on the Biggest Loser on TV or the ones paying for commercial diet programs. Real people, like you and me, are finding success by eating real food and doing simple things that make them sweat. It's hard, but it's not actually that complicated. Let that encourage you, when you need encouragement.

Let people inspire you. Let them support you. Share your success. Your best day might come on a day when someone else is in that dark place and needs to be inspired BY YOU! Treat this place like a community, make friends, and join in - like you already have. See? You're already a rock star. Keep it up!

katy_trail

What about making a list of goals, not just weightloss goals, but also fun and thrilling things you want to do in your life?

here's an example:
http://www.whoatemyblog.com/about-2/goals-and-milestones

pinkraynedropjacki

I have tried dieting and exercise routines before and I always give up give in.

There is your problem. That word.

DIET

People on a DIET always fail, people making a LIFESTYLE CHANGE have a much better chance.

Robbycu

Thank you all for your kind replies and the advice. There are many terms I'm still learning like calorie deficit. In the past my Doctor has handed me a 1300 calorie diet, so I took My fitness pal down 1700 something. I think 1300 is too drastic for right now..


Again I would like to thank you all

tnloser1970

I feel compelled to not eat, I'll obsess over the diet and then burn out and dive into a steak.

I was the same way until I found a thread in the forums here. I found out I was not eating enough. It goes by the philosophy to eat more to weigh less. I started this a week ago and I haven't been hungry and I am finding that my craving are leaving because I am getting plenty of food. Of course, it is all about choosing the right kinds of food. But, this may help. Good Luck!

http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/654536-in-place-of-a-road-map-2-0-revised-7-2-12

RhonndaJ

I think we've all been there at one point or another, I know I certainly have been.

I've learned that I can't do restrictive 'diets'. I can be gung ho for a short while and then I start to resent it, and then I give up.

I now work with moderation and while it's slow going for me, I know why and I'm okay with it. The weight I lose is staying off, and I'm more active than I ever was when I was gaining the weight.

Don't rush yourself. Everything in moderation. Don't over exercise. Don't beat yourself up over small slips, we're human, not perfect.

There are so many little things you can do to move yourself forward until it's habit to push yourself just that much more without freaking yourself out.

Good luck.
Have confidence and you'll do well.

tlkrallman

On my iphone i have this quote "It takes 4 weeks for you to notice you body changing. 8 weeks for your friends to notice and 12 weeks for the rest of the world. Give it 12 weeks and dont give up"

Totally love this!

saffron09

I just started this again too- I made a point of invinting all my facebook friends to join me, and just doing that helped a lot because I don't want them to see that I didn't stick to it at the end of every day. I also went to the store and bought lots of basic food, and some things that are easy If I get super hungry, such as instant oatmeal, tyson chicken patties etc. Other than that I eat no diet foods- Whole milk, and reg cheese are fine if you stick to a small portion. I try to make most meals at home. Also- I allow myself to go over my calorie goal once or twice a week- that way i'm not feeling deprived and I still lose weight. So if you want a steak, just plan on having a small splurge day to look forward to or something! Hope this helps and good luck!
Sam

Jim1960

Don't focus on forever... just focus on making today good. Results don't come from the decisions you may or may not make next week, or even tomorrow, its about the decisions you make today. So for today hit your calorie goals, exercise, and don't get discouraged. You've only got to make today good. Each day is about your immediate choices, and you can't obsess about future potential decisions.

^^This^^

Plus don't hide from your mistakes. Just admit it, learn from it, and move on. Take each day one at a time. You know what to do. Part of that is being TOTALLY honest. Log EVERYTHING. Open your log to be viewed. Make lots of MFP friends who will look at your logs and give you support and feedback.

MinnieInMaine

It's not about sticking to it. I had to change my mindset. This isn't a diet. This isn't a fad. This is how my life is now. If I had cancer I would spend the time to get healthy (with chemo, diet change, medication). I'm obese and I am spending the time now to get healthy.

No one should be expecting perfection. No one should be expecting immediate results. "This isn't a sprint, it's a marathon" is thrown around a lot on here, and it's true. You're not changing for today. You're changing to be with us tomorrow.

(Now that my philosophical rant is over...)

Do what you can. What you feel you can do right now. Make small goals. Your BIG goal weight is 185 but your 1st goal weight can be 270. Whatever it is, we are here to help you on this journey. We're all on here for the same reason, to be healthy.

Fantastic advice!

And OP, yes, 1300 is too drastic. Unfortunately, from all the posts I've seen here on MFP, it's pretty clear that a lot of doctors don't know anything about healthy dieting, most still believe that drastic calorie restriction is needed when that's just not true at all, especially if you're active.

Something that triggered my "aha" moment was having a friend ask me something along the lines of "why didn't that last diet stick?" (can't remember the exact words, that was 4 or 5 years ago). At first I just dismissed it but it kept coming back in my head so I finally gave it some thought and realized that the common factor in my past weight loss attempts was deprivation. Like you said, I'd try avoiding foods and eating less and I'd be hungry and miserable and craving things and after a while I just gave up and said screw it, I'd rather be fat and happy.

So when I started again this time about 3 years ago, I decided there was no food that was off limits. I might not buy it and keep it in my house but if I wanted ice cream, I'd go get a cone. And if I wanted pizza, I'd find a way to make it work. It's been a bit more of a slow and steady loss since the first year passed but I'm totally fine with that. I'm still getting healthier and losing weight and that's what really counts.

Don't be in such a rush. Figure out how you could cut back on the portion sizes of the foods you love instead of cutting them out altogether. Find a leaner cut of steak like a sirloin, trim some of the excess fat off, put it in a nice marinade and it'll still be fantastic. In fact, I'm having steak for dinner tonight! Same idea for exercise - don't kill yourself in the gym doing something you think you HAVE to do but hate. Find something you enjoy so that you'll stick with it for years. Think long term as you go. Can I live without steak and potatoes? Not really but maybe I could cut my intake back to once a month instead of once a week. Things like that...

Best of luck to you!!

xShreddx

Thank you all for your kind replies and the advice. There are many terms I'm still learning like calorie deficit. In the past my Doctor has handed me a 1300 calorie diet, so I took My fitness pal down 1700 something. I think 1300 is too drastic for right now..

You are right about that. A man should have no less than 1600 per day and a woman no less than 1200 per day. That is net after exercise too.

All of the advise given here is spot on. I'll add a new thought. For me, I realized that food was too much of a source of fulfillment and satisfaction. I would get excited about eating something and then later hate myself for it. Then the light came on......this is just like addiction. Craving, acting out, then remorse and disgust. What I've been training myself to do now is relish the feeling of fulfillment in knowing that each day, I'm living out my new lifestyle. I gotta know its not a diet but a lifestyle like many people have said here.

One last piece of advice....look for the danger signs of giving up. They are subtle.....like not wanting to weigh in cuz you know you messed up. What isn't measured can't be improved! Same thing for MFP.....if you don't log in one day, that's a red flag. Measure every day!

speedgoose

Don't focus on forever... just focus on making today good. Results don't come from the decisions you may or may not make next week, or even tomorrow, its about the decisions you make today. So for today hit your calorie goals, exercise, and don't get discouraged. You've only got to make today good. Each day is about your immediate choices, and you can't obsess about future potential decisions.

^^This^^

Plus don't hide from your mistakes. Just admit it, learn from it, and move on. Take each day one at a time. You know what to do. Part of that is being TOTALLY honest. Log EVERYTHING. Open your log to be viewed. Make lots of MFP friends who will look at your logs and give you support and feedback.

These are both great pieces of advice. Focus on right now. It's very easy to get overwhelmed by something if you are thinking of EVERYTHING that needs to happen in order for your goals to be met (and that is true in life outside of weightloss, also) But if you focus on the one task you are doing right now, it seems much more doable. Good luck!!

TrailRunner61

The only thing that worked for me was when I finally decided that I had to do 'something'.
Then I told myself that I was going to walk just 15 minutes a day. That was it, nothing more, nothing less.
After 2 weeks I noticed changes in my legs and was motivated to walk longer, faster, etc.
Then I started logging food, saw what I was really eating and changed that.

Small steps will give you amazing results. Start walking today! You are worth the effort it takes.

nturner612

u just get back up and keep going. the weight is NOT going to come off fast or easy for that matter. But stick with it, and it WILL come off. you will fail ALOT of times, GET BACK UP, pick up the pieces and keep moving forward.

BigNick71

RobbyCu,
You can do it man. Again don't think of it as a diet your just learning a healthier way to live. its not about the looks its about your health! Little steps man. I keep telling my self you didn't gain this weight in a year so don't plan to lose it all in a year. I was 376 a year and half ago. Got down to 273. then slacked off for too long and gained 25lbs back. I restarted again this past Saturday weighed in at 298. I got some serious work to do also! My goal is to be around 230. I have a huge frame too so 230 may be a stretch. 1st goal is to get back to my 273!! My best of advice is be prepared! make meals in advance, have good healthy snacks on hand. Eat small meals often to get that metabolism back up! Drink tons of water!! YOU GOT THIS SIR. Ps Here is a website that helped me knock off 70 lbs it has meal plans and workouts. You may have seen the guy on tv its an impressive story!

http://www.fit2fat2fit.com/

also i'm working on something called dietbet. lose 4% of your weight in 4 weeks. Bet 50$ for a share of the pot. ITS UP TO 65,000$ Some nice motivation to start!!

http://www.dietbet.com/games/4709

skinnyinnotime

Ultimately you have to really want it to do it. You also need to realise that this is the way you need to eat for the rest of your life if you're not going to yo-yo. Obviously you'll be able to increase your cals when you get to GW, basically you can't lose the weight and then return to your old habits, it does NOT work.

MFP is such a motivating place, sometimes I'm not keen on doing a workout, I'll come on here see all the workout status's from my friends and they make me WANT to workout.

Articeluvsmemphis

Stop thinking and start doing. Make a game and have fun. You have a job to be serious with

^^^This^^^ and start small. Find things you can start putting into your diet (the noun, as in how you eat everyday) not DIET (the verb, something you'll abandon when the weight is off) that is healthier

figure out where you have empty calories in your diet and get rid of them, or limit them. for me, i try not to drink my calories, so i mostly drink water all day. i love black coffee, i drink teas with no added flavor, and i love milk. *if even i do use sugar, i use the real thing, and with creamers, i measure it out instead of just dumping it into my cup.

with fast-food and whatnot, it's healthful to start LEARNING, yes you must learn, what's in your food. so if you're concerned about health then see if any certain kinds of food trigger problems for you. if you're more concerned about calories then just look those numbers up. foods you label as "bad" can actually not be that horrible number wise even if they lack sufficient nutrients.

don't tell yourself it's impossible. this is dorky, but the word even says IM-possible!

give it time.

find ways to enjoy it, and get an accountability partner. my best friend and i enjoy discussing food, working out together, etc. someone to boost your ego from time to time, haha

and give it TIME, I said that already? yeah, give it time!

everyone overeats, i still overeat, i still binge eat, i emotional eat. i probably always will, but i don't beat myself up about it to the point it hinders me from seeing the next day as a NEW day to make better choices and continue on

bcattoes

What's wrong with diving into a steak? Lean steaks are good diet foods because they have a lot of protein and aren't overly high in calories, but even a well marbled steak every now and then shouldn't kill your weight loss.

Don't think of your diet as soemthing that includes nothing but "diet foods". You absolutely should eat your veggies. But that should not be all you eat. Grilled or baked instead of fried. Well seasoned instead of breaded. Leaner meats. LIttle changes such as these can make huge differences in the calories of your favorite favorite foods.

Make changes you can live with for the rest of your life. A healthy diet shouldn't be something you start and finish. It should be something you can maintain long term so that you don't lose, just to gain it all back. And don't forget to treat yourself every now and then.