Not Nice NSV

angela9887

well until she if fully committed to making a change herself she will not accept your advice. you were more acting as a subconscious. good job! :-)

ladynica

Whether she is always griping about her weight loss/gain all the time or not, truthfully, you made the first interaction with her by telling her to step away. She wasn't coming to your desk personally to get goodies so whether you were jokingly and with good intention saying it or not, you should've kept it to yourself.

I think if she had come to you for advice about whether or not she should eat it, all bets would've been off and you would be in the right to tell her to step away. Since that didn't happen, don't offer unsolicited advice/opinions.

Findekano

I’ve lost 22lbs on my journey, only 3lbs away from my goal but I am happy.

MFP has taught me allot about nutrition and making alternative food choices.

Anyway, in the office I am unlucky enough to sit next to the tea/coffee station where everyone drops off goodies, cookies, cakes, crisps etc but I have thumbnails of Jillian Michaels 6 pack around my PC screen to keep me on track, lol.

One of our offices notorious yo-yo dieters was reaching for the biscuit tin and I jokingly said to her, ‘…step away…’, she turned smiled and spied my hot chocolate with a quizzical look.

‘It’s an Options Hot Chocolate’, I say ‘Only 39 calories a mug, it helps stave off my desire for real chocolate’.

She came right up into my face, ‘You don’t have anything to worry about’.

‘I guess its called maintenance,’ I replied.

‘You don’t have anything to worry about’ she says again, now my co-workers are looking over.

‘You know how much weight I’ve lost,’ I said, ‘I’m trying to maintain my weight and this helps’.

Shaking her head at me she says again, ‘You don’t have anything to worry about’.

I felt totally embarrassed like she was accusing me of being anal.

Surely it’s obvious, she’s yo-yo because she reaches her goal then tucks right back into the wrong things, I’m more or less at my goal and plan to stay right here.

The next time I spy her by the tea/coffee station, I shall mind my own business.

You didn't mean any harm. Personally, I wouldn't have been offended. Maybe she's more sensitive. But honestly, if it was said in a joking way, I wouldn't have seen anything wrong with it. I either would have responded with, "ARGH....you're right." or "STFU, I want a damn cookie." But I wouldn't have taken it personally.

But, I also understand her frustration, because I'm guilty of the same. My bf is slim and muscular. So when he says something like, "Oh, I'll just have a salad. I've been eating too much junk," I want to punch him in the throat for being damn near perfect and still so strict with himself. It's partially embarrassment for my own lack of will-power, and partially frustration with NOT being perfectly fit - sort of like, "Well, if he thinks HE needs to watch what he eats, what must he think of ME?!"

BACONJOKESRSOFUNNY

One of our offices notorious yo-yo dieters was reaching for the biscuit tin and I jokingly said to her, ‘…step away…’

OH SNAP!

‘It’s an Options Hot Chocolate’, I say ‘Only 39 calories a mug, it helps stave off my desire for real chocolate’.

LOLZ

She came right up into my face, ‘You don’t have anything to worry about’.

OH SNAP!

‘I guess its called maintenance,’ I replied.

OH SNAP!

‘You don’t have anything to worry about’ she says again, now my co-workers are looking over.

OH SNAP!

‘You know how much weight I’ve lost,’ I said, ‘I’m trying to maintain my weight and this helps’.

OH SNAP!

Shaking her head at me she says again, ‘You don’t have anything to worry about’.

OH SNAP!

I felt totally embarrassed like she was accusing me of being anal.

REPORTED!

Surely it’s obvious, she’s yo-yo because she reaches her goal then tucks right back into the wrong things, I’m more or less at my goal and plan to stay right here.

OH SNAP!

The next time I spy her by the tea/coffee station, I shall mind my own business.

NO U SHOW THAT LOUSY YO YO DIETER WHOZ BOSS

Healthydiner65

It sounded like a light hearted joke to me and if the Yo Yo (and I use that term lightly) was offended ,"Oh Well So Sad Too Bad)!!!! Write her off as someone you don't want to socialize with!!!

CorvusCorax77

I understand what you meant by your comment, and I'm not going to bash you either. Nothing irritates me more than people who complain about not losing weight, and then you see them going in on a giant fast food meal or something.....

.....

I woudl just like to respond to this... When I was overweight, I was frustrated that I couldn't lose weight. I exercised like crazy but I could lose any weight. Yes, it was becuase I didn't want to restrict my eating. I didn't want to restrict my eating because historically, when I do, I go all ED.

MFP saved me from unhealthy eating habits by helping me to be accountable for both not eating too much, and not eating too litttle.

People have to come to a healthy lifestyle the same way they come to religion: of their own free will, on their own accord, on their own terms. Otherwise, they won't make it. I still think OP's comment was out of line. But I don't consider myself bashing OP just because I think her words were wrong. Everyone makes mistakes.

BACONJOKESRSOFUNNY

No, no, she goes on and on to anyone who'll listen about her battle with wieght and updates everyone re her progress/disappointments at her slimming club so my comment wasn't tactless it was the usual banter.

U SHOWED HER WAY 2 GO

I told her a few months ago about MFP, which she'd heard of and about my journery and we had a proper conversation about fitness and nutrition.

DONT FORGET TO TELL HER ABOUT THE JILLIAN MICHAELS FLUSH

SE_Adams

Judging by her response she was offended. usually a bad idea to say things about what people are eating, pretty touchy subject for most. I know alot of low confidence people who pick on themselves and make everyone aware that they are trying to lose weight. All of them would have been embarrassed by someone calling them out in public about what they were eating.

MightyDomo

Not sure if this can be classified as an NSV moment?

But that was something that didn't have the tact it could have. A more private conversation would have been better but the delivery in the same was also not very tactful either. A better way would to privately come up to her and show understanding that she has been dieting over time and you just wanted to give an opinion on eating a spare cookie/tart/anything as being detrimental to her weight loss but also apologizing in advance after stating your opinion if she is not currently on a weight loss plan so that she doesn't feel attacked but instead being more informed whether she asked for it or not.

Public approaches always bring on the defensive natures of others.

SweetSailor

Oh I see why you think I must be rude.

No, no, she goes on and on to anyone who'll listen about her battle with wieght and updates everyone re her progress/disappointments at her slimming club so my comment wasn't tactless it was the usual banter.

I told her a few months ago about MFP, which she'd heard of and about my journery and we had a proper conversation about fitness and nutrition.

You should follow her around and tell her what to eat all of the time.

TinGirl314

I just don't think it's worth spouting opinions where they're not wanted. The OP has reached her goal (Go you!) but for some of us it takes longer. I'm 26 almost 27 and I'm still 40 pounds over. Not to mention one biscuit/cake/crisp/pastry is not going to kill anyone. Maybe she saved her calories for that in the morning? The point is...who is anyone else to know?

If the comments weren't received positively then where IS the positive?

If someone at work told me to put the cookie down, I would tell them to mind they're own business.

MightyDomo

If someone at work told me to put the cookie down, I would tell them to mind they're own business.

You are much stronger than I! I would be willing to bet that I would walk away without it and break down and cry... but I come from having my weight be made fun of a lot by people who should have supported me growing up.

TinGirl314

If someone at work told me to put the cookie down, I would tell them to mind they're own business.

You are much stronger than I! I would be willing to be that I would walk away without it and break down and cry... but I come from having my weight be made fun of a lot by people who should have supported me growing up.

Pftt...hehe. Being a female who used to be 350 pounds...it's not strength, it's a BS shield.
Though if I'm completely honest it probably would have made me cry when I was alone, so I feel you.

BranMuffin947

I agree with you!!

The other day at work I was looking at the chocolate.. I picked my hand up to grab a bar & one of the cashiers (who I'm only friendly with, I couldn't even tell you her name and who doesn't even know I'm watching my weight) said something along the lines of, "tempting, but you'll regret it later.. I know" lol and I thought she was a saint sent from heaven haha I didn't go for the chocolate =P

Maybe one day that woman will appreciate it, I know I did.

yoovie

yeah this has been happening to me lately too. makes me kind of stabby. my boss is my biggest critic and it doesnt help that im always actually undressed and facing her while she drapes fabric on me. ...



you lost more weight

im sorry

youre making my job difficult

im sorry

dont you ever eat?

not when im on my period

you need to stop dieting

im not dieting

then why are you still losing weight

im not, im losing inches

its the same thing

actually...

brianna hold still oksana go get her a bagel

Treadmillmom1st

You know all your points are valid, I do feel a bit bad now, our office is lighthearted and full of banter I never dreamt for a moment she'd be offended and for the same token she probably didn't realise she came across as defensive.