Teen Advice *Quick Responses!!* :)

fitfortrack

Lol I feel so weird posting this here...but I need advice! I'm what you would call a "good girl". I don't drink/smoke/do drugs, I'm sort of a prude (which is kind of annoying tbh I wish I weren't) because I'm shy and my mom just brought me up to be that way, always condemning sex and drinking (plus my parents are divorced seriously what is a relationship???). I've just been so reserved my whole life and throughout all of high school and it's left me sort of secluded from normal teens. I mean I have friends and all, they just all drink and have hooked up with guys and go to parties and I don't and I don't really want to be like that anymore.

Well our whole grade is having a huge party and I want to go and I like the idea of going and also there's a guy who's been flirting with me in class you know but I don't really know if he would hook up with me anyway... But then I feel like I won't know what to do and I'll act awkward and I can't dance for my life like I look like an idiot and everyone's gonna be drunk but I'm not and like one of my friends isn't either. And I've never even kissed anyone like I feel so inexperienced and I won't even know what to do or how to act like I think I have severe social anxiety that's part of the problem. And like what if I just suck at hu'ing I feel like I would....and I feel like I'd get attached even though it means nothing and the other person was drunk like that doesn't even work if one person is drunk and the other isn't?

What dooooo I dooo.....

I just feel like I need to experience things and I never felt ready like I was still just a kid and I don't know. It's caused me to push a lot of people away, like not only my friends but guys too. Like as soon as they start to break the barrier I just completely shut down and don't know what to do so I ignore it and pretend it isn't happening. I don't want to be like this anymore.

I'm almost 17 by the way (I know.....)

urgh this is so frustrating though quick responses would be much appreciated

kdz526

I would say go with a friend that you can hang out with there. If you don't want to do anything then don't do it. I was a total straight edge child in high school that hung out with alot of people that drank and stuff. Go for a bit...show your face and have fun. If it is not fun, stay for a while then bounce on out of there. As far as guys go...darlin if your just 16, there are a plethora of boys past high school to be found. IMHO high school is not the time to really be serious about a guy. Everyone is still growing and trying to find their path in the world.

ashesfromfire

My rule number one with high school parties (now bars 'cause i'm older) is the good ol fashion BUDDY SYSTEM! Find a reliable friend to go with, and before going set up some expectations of what you want from each other.
My exaples might not be super effective for you but in example, awhile back I went up to a local hot spring in the middle of the night to go drinking and partying, brought along a friend and told her to not let me do anything physical with a man, to not let me fall off a cliff, get lost in the woods, or get eatten by a bear. And I did the same for her. For you just ask a close friend to go with, if they want to drink you can't stop them but ask them before hand if they want you to enforce a limit on their drinking, just like they can support you and your pre decided behavior.

ashesfromfire

Oh - and by the way - I was 16 when I had my first kiss - you're fine.

And I was my then boyfriends(now fiance's) first kiss his senor year of high school - e was almost 18 - and niether of us were losers in high school, just had other stuff going on besides playing tonsil tennis with everyone around.

Don't feel bad about it