An apology and a new begining

lkeller95

I have to say first off that I joined MFP for the wrong reasons. I am a recovering anorexic and just began a nutrition class in school and we were assigned to track our caloric intake for a day using the site. Well, I took it too far. I only just began preparing my own food again after over a year of having it prepared for me and when I saw all the numbers together in one place I took a drastic step backward when I began to challenge myself to restrict my diet more and more each day. It gave me a sick high every time I one-upped myself and it just kept getting worse. Until I told my story to a friend at school and he expressed what a loss it would be to the world if I were to let my eating disorder take over my life again. Hearing him say that reminded me of all the reasons I have to want to take care of my body.
So I wanted to apologize to my family and I wanted to apologize to myself for joining this site for the wrong reasons. In my heart I know now that that was wrong. But I want to use MFP properly and keep myself from slipping backward again. All of you who use this site for the right reasons are such a big inspirations and I'm looking forward to getting to know you and hearing some of your amazing stories.
Thank you

jeffsweightloss

welcome to the site. you've made a decision to change and be a better you. that's the 1st step and most often the hardest one. congrats to you. you are so young and have so much life left and have a lot to offer this world. it wont be easy making the changes you want to...but there is sooo much support here for you should you want it. best of luck. add friends..to use their support and motivation. it will help you greatly. even if you joined this for all the wrong reasons...it may just end up being the best decision you've made.

lkeller95

Thank you so much for your kind words, they really mean the world to me. Even though it was the thought of losing more weight is what made me join MFP, it was the incredible sense of support and community that made me want to stay. There are so many fantastic people on this site and I can't imagine a better place to go when I need to be reminded that I can't let my eating disorder define who I am and drag me back below the surface.
I am really looking forward to taking back control of my health and starting on a path that will lead me to a long and happy life. And I couldn't feel stronger knowing that I'm going to have such a wonderful support system standing beside me.
Thank you again, and best wishes to you and for all of your goals,
Libby

tdani2005

wishing all the best, just remember you are a very strong young woman...

KEAVES13

Different as they may be, we all have our own individual struggles that we are trying to conquer...and that's what connects us. Glad you are tackling yours..Best Wishes! :flowerforyou: