Am I not normal?

omanitshann

So last night I went out with a few friends to a hookah bar. It was my first time doing it, I've never smoked anything before this. I ended up really hating it, and kind of felt bad about even trying it after i got home.
This got made me realize, I hate smoking, I don't really drink (I can count on one hand the number of times i've had alcohol), I've never been drunk or high because it just doesn't appeal to me. And I hate going to clubs/parties, they just give me anxiety. I feel like i'm a weirdo because I'm 20 years old, and it seems like everyone my age is doing these things, and I hate doing all of it. It's just not my idea of fun, I'd rather go to a yoga class and play some Mario Bros.
I'm also an introvert so I'm perfectly fine staying in, but whenever I want to do something with friends it always has to include drinking alcohol or going clubbing. My friends invited me to go out again this Friday to go clubbing and drinking, and I said yes just to not seem boring, but I really don't want to go. Most of the time when I hang out with them I'm the only one not drinking/smoking, and then I just feel awkward. A small part of me feels like I should let loose and keep trying these things until I like them, but I really feel like I should stay true to myself, even if it makes me feel like an outcast. Anyone else in the world like me!?

quirkytizzy

I'm also an introvert

Right there's your answer - and yes, that is okay. More than okay - it's you and that's perfectly wonderful.

kdz526

I knew a few people in college who did not drink or smoke but still went to some parties to be social. Not every party, but a few parties a month I would say, just to see friends and get out. You don't have to drink, just get a soda or a water and enjoy the time with your friends cause its only a little bit of time out of the week. I personally prefer going to a bar that has pool or darts and playing those then going to a crowded clubbin dance bar. I tend to be more extroverted but when I was younger I was a total introvert till a friend brought me out of my shell so to speak. Another thing is going in with an open mind about having fun...if your going to go with your friends and be all this sucks i'd rather be home then you should just stay home instead of having a crappy time which would in turn possibly make your friends feel bad and make them have a bad time.

jessgumkowski88

MEEE! I am JUST like you in that aspect I'm always the DD and my friends have just stopped asking me to try drinks and smoke because they know I won't Don't worry, if they care about you (which im sure they do) they don't think anything of you not partaking.

It's more fun to me to watch my friends act silly

MaraDiaz

I'm the same way. I always had to be pretty tipsy to enjoy being in clubs and even then part of me was always self-conscious. Plus I get bored and restless too easily to spend a whole lot of time socializing. Honestly I used to go out with one purpose in mind as a rule. I was single and on the hunt or I didn't bother.

TavistockToad

Maybe you should find some friends you Have stuff in common with....?

Crayvn

true friends will respect your choices..if not, then its time to make new friends :-p

crimsoncat

I don't drink, don't smoke, hate parties/clubs and prefer playing poke'mon to "hanging out".

Sounds normal to me. XD

bluebug53

Its fine! Sounds like you just have an introvert type of personality, not a bad thing, just something you need to learn more about, and accept who you are. I recommend a book call Introvert power. Great for helping you to have a better understanding of your personality type.

bumblebums

I do not miss being 20. It's a little better than being 13, but it is still an unpleasant age. There are so many things you still don't know about yourself at 20, and it takes a lot of strength to resist the conformist pressures around you.

Sounds like you are doing well to me, but perhaps you are hanging out with the wrong people. Things get better as you get older, though you will have fewer friends as you age. Take it from a fellow introvert.

sunnyside1213

true friends will respect your choices..if not, then its time to make new friends :-p

Well, the old friends will eventually grow up and stop partying. Try not to lose the ones you love.

Phaedra2014

So last night I went out with a few friends to a hookah bar. It was my first time doing it, I've never smoked anything before this. I ended up really hating it, and kind of felt bad about even trying it after i got home.
This got made me realize, I hate smoking, I don't really drink (I can count on one hand the number of times i've had alcohol), I've never been drunk or high because it just doesn't appeal to me. And I hate going to clubs/parties, they just give me anxiety. I feel like i'm a weirdo because I'm 20 years old, and it seems like everyone my age is doing these things, and I hate doing all of it. It's just not my idea of fun, I'd rather go to a yoga class and play some Mario Bros.
I'm also an introvert so I'm perfectly fine staying in, but whenever I want to do something with friends it always has to include drinking alcohol or going clubbing. My friends invited me to go out again this Friday to go clubbing and drinking, and I said yes just to not seem boring, but I really don't want to go. Most of the time when I hang out with them I'm the only one not drinking/smoking, and then I just feel awkward. A small part of me feels like I should let loose and keep trying these things until I like them, but I really feel like I should stay true to myself, even if it makes me feel like an outcast. Anyone else in the world like me!?

I don't drink, smoke or do any kind of drugs. I don't pressure myself to fit in and fortunately, neither do the people I socialize with. Just be you. You're all you've got.

brevislux

You are who you are.

Bobtheangrytomato

Good for you! Stay true to yourself.

LittleMiss_WillLoseIt

You are completely normal...what is not normal is your friends not accepting who you are for you. It's okay to have new experiences but not if it makes you uncomfortable.

BeckZombie

I'm an introvert, too and would MUCH rather stay in than go out. I also hate bars and I rarely drink because it mostly just makes me sick anymore. Example of how I am at parties: I went to a New Year's Eve party with my boyfriend. The people who threw the party had this tiny, adorable kitten. Instead of talking to people and playing drinking games, I sat on the couch and played with the kitten. You are who you are! Don't worry about what other people do.

annpatricianielsen

It's not as unusual as you think. My friends and I don't drink an awful lot. I'm probaby the one who drinks the most, which - compared to other people around my age - is little. I suppose, I don't like having a hangover. One time I went out with a friend and none of us had anything to drink except a coke. We went home at 5 o'clock in the morning and it had been a great night!

Try asking your friends to come over and do something completely different? Try going out an evening without drinking. Where I am from we have something called "Late Night" where all the shops are open till around 1:30. Or maybe instead of clubbing you could go to a bar. That way you can sit and talk :-)

And don't feel awkward when you're the only sober one. You can still be social and go out with your friends even though you don't drink nor smoke. And as others have said: if they are really your friends they won't mind that you don't drink!

Huzke

There is absolutely nothing wrong with you. Do what you enjoy and live your life in a way that is fulfilling to you. It's good to try new things and get out of your comfort zone now and then but ultimately you need to do what makes you happy.

Windy_

Find friends that don't drink or smoke.

Skratchie

true friends will respect your choices..if not, then its time to make new friends :-p

Well, the old friends will eventually grow up and stop partying. Try not to lose the ones you love.

Sadly, some of them never outgrow it.

There's nothing wrong with not enjoying the same activities that others in your circle enjoy. When I was younger, I would go out occasionally because I really loved my friends, but I did it on MY terms, not theirs. However, if your circle is only into going to clubs and drinking, etc., it may be time to find a couple of new friends who are as comfortable as you are hanging out at home or doing things that are more "you", so you don't feel like you're always alone. Even introverts get to a point where they need human interaction. ;-)

I always had friends I could go to dinner with, or go shopping with, or watch movies with ... not everyone is into the bar scene.

runningwild00

I was the same way most of undergrad. I didn't care to go to parties...they were hot and gross. I didn't want to find some random guy or just get wasted to be wasted. Even today, going to a bar is not my favorite thing, I just see it as loud and annoying. I'd rather be with friends at someone's apartment! I think I probably am more on the introvert side, maybe close to the middle (what's that ambivalent accord to Dr Carl Jung?)

Today, I drink now occasionally, probably more than college!!, and very rarely get drunk. I like a good beer or a nice glass of wine after a rough day or on the weekends....it does make me feel good, but I usually stop after 1 MAYBE 2. Just because I don't care to be drunk! Also, I think the number of calories in alcohol has always made me think twice before drinking too much.

Something I've learned, not that I am that old and wise. Is just do what feels good to you. You want to stay in, do it. You want to go to a party today, do it. Hey, I wanted to go to bed at 10pm on a Saturday night!!! (I almost did it, the BF made me stay up an hour longer haha). As long as it isn't hurting you physically or mentally, it's probably just fine!!

GoddessG

Find a different circle of friends who share your interest/values. Do you have a hobby? If not find one. I don't care if it's reading, pottery, painting, stained glass, cooking, volunteering at a soup kitchen, volunteerism in the hospital holding preemies, or whatever. But when you find something you like you will find others who like it too. Then you can go out with them and skip the nightlife altogether. It sounds to me like you are mature for your age. So don't shy away from people who are older.

cwolfman13

i drink and used to smoke and enjoy a good party..it's just who I am. I also have friends who don't really drink and don't like to party...we all get along just fine...they're normal and I'm normal

tashaa1992

Well if you're not normal, then neither am I because I'm twenty, I don't drink anymore, I stopped going to clubs and I have never smoked. I agree with finding friends you have things in common with. I prefer my nights in with friends:)

thnksfrthmmrs

You are 100% not on youre own there. I dont like nightclubs.
I used to like one when i was younger because they had a "cheese room" and played all the old classics as i call them. But nightclubs these days are all noise and no actual music.

I like to have a drink in a quiet pub with friends so we can chat and actually socialise rather than shout at eachother and still not be able to hear.

Ive never been interested in drugs and thankfully nor are my friends.

We prefer to go for a nice meal and have a glass of wine these days.

projektai

You're perfectly perfect.

I'm like that too. Never been drunk or high, I don't really like drinking or anything of the sort, and I'm twenty-one. It just doesn't appeal to you, and that's fine. Heck, I think it makes you kinda cooler that drinking isn't your idea of fun.
There are plenty of other things to do.

Besides, Mario Bros. is awesome!

Crayvn

i drink and used to smoke and enjoy a good party..it's just who I am. I also have friends who don't really drink and don't like to party...we all get along just fine...they're normal and I'm normal

well said

lovelyMYlovely

stay true to yourself.. u are so lucky that u have your own mind set... with all of the bad stuff out in the world and corruption its hard to not get caught up in that lifestyle... getting drunk usually leads to 1 thing only= losing your morals=doing things u will regret.... friends ALWAYS like having a DD around.. (a person who drives sober) so maybe they know u are not the ne drinking so u will be there "safe" ride home.. and thats not a bad thing because so many DUI's are happening...
dont feel awkward of like a reject... U ARE THE LUCKY ONE ACTUALLY!!! most of those people "think" there living when actually they are dying inside.. meaning they are lonely and looking for something unknown... i hope ur reading this lol i know how clogged threads can be... im 22 and i used to be a hard partier when i was 16+ but i eventually had kids and believe me when i was drinking THERE WAS ALOT OF THINGS I really regretted doing.... lol.... i may be on youtube somewhere dancing with no music lol.... anyways... dont change your values because u want to fit in and not "feel" boring... you are perfect as you are.. and if u are a homebody then who cares!! its better than wasting your life... remember that carrie underwood song "wasted" its soo true.... u really waste ur life when u drink... but some people just like that...
i remember recently for my birthday i went to a club with my sister.. it was sooo sad because literally there were 40 year old woman and men at this club getting trashed and dancing on the bars lol and i honestly felt bad because that was STILL there everyweekend lives.. like they NEVER gave it up... and i just felt bad for them thinking they must be lonely.. searching for something to make them feel complete... most of those woman were grinding on young boys to.... ahhh.. i dont ever wanna end up like that lol....

omanitshann

Thanks for comments! I read them all

Thankfully I do have some friends that are more like me at my college, it's just my friends from back home that are like this. I think part of it is just me becoming more confident in who I am so that I can be myself no matter what situation I'm in. Thanks again for all the advice!

verdancyhime

Nah, everyone has a different idea of a good time. As long as yours doesn't involve torturing kittens or something this is pretty natural.