Guy Dilemma: All advice welcome

avir8
avir8 Posts: 671 Member
I went out with a guy who I thought I liked and hung out with a couple of his friends as well one night. (I had only gone out once with this guy but had a class wtih him so I've known him for a couple of months.) By the end of the night it was clear that the guy I went out with was not a nice guy and I actually became more interested in one of his friends. The original guy tried groping me all night, it was obvious he only wanted to hook up with me, and was more interested in his drinking. I didn't get the other guys number and the only way to get his info is to ask the original guy. How can I go about asking this guy for the other guy's number?
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Replies

  • cmriverside
    cmriverside Posts: 34,416 Member
    There's no way this can end well.....
  • carryingon
    carryingon Posts: 609 Member
    There's no way this can end well.....

    ^^this:sad:
  • axialmeow
    axialmeow Posts: 382 Member
    YOU JUST....DONT.
  • snoopytwins
    snoopytwins Posts: 1,759 Member
    Guys love it when you ask for their friend's number after turning them down. Love it!
  • clarkeje1
    clarkeje1 Posts: 1,641 Member
    The other guy probably isn't that great of a guy if he hangs out with a loser like the 1st guy you went out with. Just find someone from a new circle of friends.
  • billsica
    billsica Posts: 4,741 Member
  • ubermensch13
    ubermensch13 Posts: 824 Member
    The other guy probably isn't that great of a guy if he hangs out with a loser like the 1st guy you went out with. Just find someone from a new circle of friends.

    You know, all us guys have the "as-hole" in the group........so, this comment is absurd on its face. In response to the question by the OP, it is going to be a disaster no matter how you ask....so, don't.
  • avir8
    avir8 Posts: 671 Member

    Yes!!!! Seinfeld relationship advice always works
    *Starts devicing a plan for "THE SWITCH"

    haha
  • pudadough
    pudadough Posts: 1,271 Member
    *kitten* dating!


    /thread.
  • nataliefamily3
    nataliefamily3 Posts: 189 Member
    If you must, can you find the guy through some facebook creeping and send him a message? I wouldnt go through the other guy
  • PikaKnight
    PikaKnight Posts: 34,971 Member
    Girl...guys don't usually go out with girls that their friends were trying to hook up with/date.

    If he wanted, he'd figure a way to talk to you..but honestly - probably not going to happen.
  • slkehl
    slkehl Posts: 3,801 Member
    *kitten* dating!


    /thread.

    Hahaha this is my state of mind atm
  • DavPul
    DavPul Posts: 61,406 Member
    ok. this can be done, but you can't do it the direct way and just ask the one guy for permission to give his friend some. it's just not polite. here's what you do:

    arrange to go out with the group again. make sure your guy (the current one) gets drunk. maybe not stupid drunk, but drunk enough that you can claim he's impaired. Tell him that there's no way you're riding home with him and you don't think he should drive either. call him a call.

    while waiting for the cab, give the googly eyes to the guy you really want (who you made sure was not drinking too much) and ask him if it would be too much bother for him to give you a "ride home". get in his car. have hot butt nekkid sekks with him. but not too freaky. make sure he knows you're saving something for the next time and by next time you mean a real date, and not with his loser friend (and if he's smart, not with any winner friends either since he's already seen that you will 'better deal' his azz in a heartbeat).

    when the old guy calls, tell him you're done because you can't date someone that irresponsible. bingo. he's out, the other guy's in, and no one can blame you.
  • imchicbad
    imchicbad Posts: 1,650 Member
    ok. this can be done, but you can't do it the direct way and just ask the one guy for permission to give his friend some. it's just not polite. here's what you do:

    arrange to go out with the group again. make sure your guy (the current one) gets drunk. maybe not stupid drunk, but drunk enough that you can claim he's impaired. Tell him that there's no way you're riding home with him and you don't think he should drive either. call him a call.

    while waiting for the cab, give the googly eyes to the guy you really want (who you made sure was not drinking too much) and ask him if it would be too much bother for him to give you a "ride home". get in his car. have hot butt nekkid sekks with him. but not too freaky. make sure he knows you're saving something for the next time and by next time you mean a real date, and not with his loser friend (and if he's smart, not with any winner friends either since he's already seen that you will 'better deal' his azz in a heartbeat).

    when the old guy calls, tell him you're done because you can't date someone that irresponsible. bingo. he's out, the other guy's in, and no one can blame you.

    this is exactly why you dont ask for the number....besides if the other guy was so interrested dont you think he would have asked for your number???.....yeah don t ask, just move on.:noway:
  • PikaKnight
    PikaKnight Posts: 34,971 Member
    ok. this can be done, but you can't do it the direct way and just ask the one guy for permission to give his friend some. it's just not polite. here's what you do:

    arrange to go out with the group again. make sure your guy (the current one) gets drunk. maybe not stupid drunk, but drunk enough that you can claim he's impaired. Tell him that there's no way you're riding home with him and you don't think he should drive either. call him a call.

    while waiting for the cab, give the googly eyes to the guy you really want (who you made sure was not drinking too much) and ask him if it would be too much bother for him to give you a "ride home". get in his car. have hot butt nekkid sekks with him. but not too freaky. make sure he knows you're saving something for the next time and by next time you mean a real date, and not with his loser friend (and if he's smart, not with any winner friends either since he's already seen that you will 'better deal' his azz in a heartbeat).

    when the old guy calls, tell him you're done because you can't date someone that irresponsible. bingo. he's out, the other guy's in, and no one can blame you.

    The chance of success is about 30% I'd say. That's because I'm giving the friend some credit that he might be a decent friend..lol. If not, I'd say about 55%...88% if this was used as a one night stand move and they just got freaky that night.

    The irresponsible move isn't going to work quite so well if the other guy has to choose between his friend and the girl. So, I guess it depends on their friendship.
  • ToughTulip
    ToughTulip Posts: 1,118 Member
    The other guy probably isn't that great of a guy if he hangs out with a loser like the 1st guy you went out with. Just find someone from a new circle of friends.

    You know, all us guys have the "as-hole" in the group........so, this comment is absurd on its face. In response to the question by the OP, it is going to be a disaster no matter how you ask....so, don't.

    Couldn't agree with you more. I have friends that do not make the best decisions... but i wouldn't call them losers. That is my friend's business not mine.

    And don't try to date around in a friend group. That will earn you to be called many names as well
  • peachea
    peachea Posts: 92 Member
    to hell with the guy who groping you. he's not gonna care if you go with his friend. He's probably already groping someone else. only women care about this stuff. just ask him for his friends number and move on with it. that's what I'd do.
  • PikaKnight
    PikaKnight Posts: 34,971 Member
    to hell with the guy who groping you. he's not gonna care if you go with his friend. He's probably already groping someone else. only women care about this stuff. just ask him for his friends number and move on with it. that's what I'd do.

    OMG..lmao. DON'T do that! Don't ask him for his friend's number..lmao! That is so wrong..hahahaha.
  • nikki_zav
    nikki_zav Posts: 320 Member
    Effing go for it!! What's the worst the happens? He says no. It's not like you are going to go out with this guy again anyway.

    What's the best that happens? You and this other guy hit it off and live happily ever after.

    Don't protect the DB's feelings and go for it. The facebook stalking idea isn't bad either.
  • tameko2
    tameko2 Posts: 31,634 Member
    while waiting for the cab, give the googly eyes to the guy you really want (who you made sure was not drinking too much) and ask him if it would be too much bother for him to give you a "ride home". get in his car. have hot butt nekkid sekks with him. but not too freaky. make sure he knows you're saving something for the next time and by next time you mean a real date, and not with his loser friend (and if he's smart, not with any winner friends either since he's already seen that you will 'better deal' his azz in a heartbeat).

    *cracks up* I wish to +1 this. That is all.
  • jeremyw1977
    jeremyw1977 Posts: 505 Member
    No matter how you slice it, this has disaster written all over it.
    Guy #1 probably won't be too flattered by you asking for Guy #2's number.

    Also, even if you try other means to find Guy #2 (Facebook), Guy #1 will wind up finding out, and you can wind up putting a strain on their friendship (ala, Yoko Ono).

    Give it a try if you so desire, but don't expect a fairy tale ending.
  • DavPul
    DavPul Posts: 61,406 Member
    ok. this can be done, but you can't do it the direct way and just ask the one guy for permission to give his friend some. it's just not polite. here's what you do:

    arrange to go out with the group again. make sure your guy (the current one) gets drunk. maybe not stupid drunk, but drunk enough that you can claim he's impaired. Tell him that there's no way you're riding home with him and you don't think he should drive either. call him a call.

    while waiting for the cab, give the googly eyes to the guy you really want (who you made sure was not drinking too much) and ask him if it would be too much bother for him to give you a "ride home". get in his car. have hot butt nekkid sekks with him. but not too freaky. make sure he knows you're saving something for the next time and by next time you mean a real date, and not with his loser friend (and if he's smart, not with any winner friends either since he's already seen that you will 'better deal' his azz in a heartbeat).

    when the old guy calls, tell him you're done because you can't date someone that irresponsible. bingo. he's out, the other guy's in, and no one can blame you.

    The chance of success is about 30% I'd say. That's because I'm giving the friend some credit that he might be a decent friend..lol. If not, I'd say about 55%...88% if this was used as a one night stand move and they just got freaky that night.

    The irresponsible move isn't going to work quite so well if the other guy has to choose between his friend and the girl. So, I guess it depends on their friendship.

    30%? that's actually higher than I would give it's chances. but anything beats beats 0%'
  • Lift_hard_eat_big
    Lift_hard_eat_big Posts: 2,278 Member
    Bros before hos
  • PikaKnight
    PikaKnight Posts: 34,971 Member
    ok. this can be done, but you can't do it the direct way and just ask the one guy for permission to give his friend some. it's just not polite. here's what you do:

    arrange to go out with the group again. make sure your guy (the current one) gets drunk. maybe not stupid drunk, but drunk enough that you can claim he's impaired. Tell him that there's no way you're riding home with him and you don't think he should drive either. call him a call.

    while waiting for the cab, give the googly eyes to the guy you really want (who you made sure was not drinking too much) and ask him if it would be too much bother for him to give you a "ride home". get in his car. have hot butt nekkid sekks with him. but not too freaky. make sure he knows you're saving something for the next time and by next time you mean a real date, and not with his loser friend (and if he's smart, not with any winner friends either since he's already seen that you will 'better deal' his azz in a heartbeat).

    when the old guy calls, tell him you're done because you can't date someone that irresponsible. bingo. he's out, the other guy's in, and no one can blame you.

    The chance of success is about 30% I'd say. That's because I'm giving the friend some credit that he might be a decent friend..lol. If not, I'd say about 55%...88% if this was used as a one night stand move and they just got freaky that night.

    The irresponsible move isn't going to work quite so well if the other guy has to choose between his friend and the girl. So, I guess it depends on their friendship.

    30%? that's actually higher than I would give it's chances. but anything beats beats 0%'

    Yeah, you'd be surprised at how many guys end up straining their friendships for a couple months over a girl. Once things don't work out, though, they end up being okay friends again most of the time. And also, I'm imagining these guys are pretty young..hence the 30%...lol.
  • anifani4
    anifani4 Posts: 457 Member
    Wow. It's a very long time since I was on the dating scene . Is this how it is these days? Guys just want you for a "hook up" and nothing more? if that's true then what's to say the one you think you like won't do the same thing.....after all, his friend was doing it and so that must be the norm for this group. I'd say look elsewhere.


    But to answer your question IMO it would be in very poor taste to ask the rejected guy for the friend's phone number.


    It would be interesting to know how you handled the guy who was groping you. could you not be direct and tell him to knock it off? Or did he keep doing it in spite of you saying quit it? In which case you could use some assertiveness training. Love yourself enough to not let this happen again.
  • If guy number one is really just in it for the sex, then just keep hanging out with him but keep it platonic. Go out for drinks together and talk to him about other girls that he could get with. Soon, he WILL hook up with another girl. Then, BAM! You are open to move in on guy number two. You will inevitably end up around him again if he is really good friends with guy number one.
  • taunto
    taunto Posts: 6,420 Member
    The other guy probably isn't that great of a guy if he hangs out with a loser like the 1st guy you went out with. Just find someone from a new circle of friends.

    You really don't know guys do you?
  • Topher1978
    Topher1978 Posts: 975 Member
    Just hit him up for his friends #. He might be taken aback, but chances are he'll give it to you.
  • Ask guy #1 for his cellphone, then look for guy #2's number in his contacts....(this is assuming you know guy #2's name).
  • whierd
    whierd Posts: 14,025 Member
    Just find a new guy in case going out with guy #2 affects his friendship with guy #1.