Sick and tired of Complements

natspoiledbrat

Is there anyone else out there who is just sick and tired of people "complementing" you on your weight loss? I am getting really frustrated and know that people are just trying to be nice, but a lot of them are going overboard. Ok, so I get that people who haven't seen me in 6 months notice a huge difference and feel the need to comment about the weight loss, but the same people who I see every single day at work feel the need to say it too............It drives me crazy. I don't want to sound ungrateful or anything, but it kinda makes me wonder how much I may have been looked down upon before. Its as if some people only talk to me now because of the weight loss and they have absolutely nothing to say, so all they can do is comment about it. Also people say things that I think just come out wrong, but thing like this are really making me self-conscious.............for example............."you are so much prettier now that you have lost weight", or "I'm seeing less and less of you every time I see you........literally", "oh I bet you are getting dates now", and the kicker..................."the last time I saw you, you were eating those buffalo wings like we were gonna run out"............Seriously people, when I see someone who has lost weight I tell them once........"you look good", drop it and never mention their "weight" again................can the rest of the world get with the program!!!!!!!!

jw17695

Some of those comments are really messed up. I would have smacked some of those people.

ashmariehay

Whoah!
Those are not complements at all!
More like passive aggressive stabs = No Bueno
And I am with Jw I'd have done some damage.
Complements are supposed to make you feel great about your accomplishments,
Not make you feel bad. (Duh!)
You wouldn't be getting tired of them if they were real.
Keep up the great work!!!

stef_e_b

People are idiots and lack tact. I think mostly people are just trying to be supportive but have no idea how to do it.

marii92

I have to agree with the posters above me Don't listen to them, they're probably just jealous
I think you look great! Well done, keep it up

SoldierDad

Smile and walk away. It makes you the better person.

ltlhmom

Hearing complements is suppose to make you feel good not make you feel bad about yourself. Those people just need to shut your mouth and learn how to speak to people. Do they realize how stupid they sound?

Great job on all your weight loss!

drvvork

:flowerforyou: Nothing irritates me more than those that never gave me the time of day before that are all of a sudden speaking to me... the one that said about you getting prettier - I would have been a smart-a** and said something like too bad that couldn't happen for YOU... and the one that mentioned about the dates... I would say something like - you jealous? That comment on the buffalo wings I would have told them - now YOU have more to eat. :devil: I'm sorry, I don't deal with the shallow people very well. I have gotten to know many over the years and they sicken me. So hold your head up high and know it is jealousy and they are trying to 'find out' something (who knows what). Just know that you are beautiful (always have been) and healthy. :flowerforyou:

SASSYJAX

I agree, they are jealous and it makes people spiteful and mean!

I used to get, bet you are having more sex! - eh! as in bet your hubby cant keep his hands off you, actually he hated feeling all my bones sticking through my skin but I couldnt tell them that - maybe I should have!

Just smile sweetly and shrug...!

Yes, it is annoying, like all of a sudden you are part of the human race, how pathetic, dont know what they were missing by ingnoring you before ...well now they have shown how shallow they are I am sure you dont want to mix with them anyways...!
x

Wolfena

I'd bet a lot of those people mean well, they just want you to know they noticed but don't really THINK about what they are saying first to realize how idiotic and rude they sound!!

Just thank them, move on and don't think about it too hard....



(my favorite was always "Wow - you've lost so much weight! You're not sick, are you??")

shaggys

:flowerforyou: Nothing irritates me more than those that never gave me the time of day before that are all of a sudden speaking to me... the one that said about you getting prettier - I would have been a smart-a** and said something like too bad that couldn't happen for YOU... and the one that mentioned about the dates... I would say something like - you jealous? That comment on the buffalo wings I would have told them - now YOU have more to eat. :devil: I'm sorry, I don't deal with the shallow people very well. I have gotten to know many over the years and they sicken me. So hold your head up high and know it is jealousy and they are trying to 'find out' something (who knows what). Just know that you are beautiful (always have been) and healthy. :flowerforyou:

That's hilarious!

It comes with the territory..I'm with Knight:laugh:
You look great!

greeneyes82

Yeah, some people can't stand to see others succeed. :noway: I don't get it either, but I would have to think it's jealousy. People compliment me for losing weight, but lately it's turning into "you're going to blow away if you don't stop losing." Also, they ask if I'm eating right or starving myself! :grumble: That makes me mad, but I just ignore it. Just keep succeeding & let them keep being negative people who need to get a life!

Crunchytxmama

Mostly I like the compliments, but I know what you mean, that some people just go on and on, and go waaay overboard with it! My MIL harasses me about my weight loss! Every. single. time I see her we have to spend the first ten minutes talking about my weight, with her wanting to know how much more I've lost (which is always too much), what size I am now, when I'm going to stop, and then her going on and on about how this is the week that she's going to go back on Atkins, and how she's so sick of being fat. It gets very, very old having this conversation with her on a weekly basis.

toots99

I hate when people say "You've lost a ton of weight!" I know they mean well, but I just want to say "Hey thanks for thinking I weighed a ton before!"

Tamishumate

I hate when people say "You've lost a ton of weight!" I know they mean well, but I just want to say "Hey thanks for thinking I weighed a ton before!"

LOL, I know.. Sometimes I want to say " not quite a ton" but thanks..

jas1957

Some of those "compliments" would have hurt my feelings. I agree with some of the other comments, they are just jealous because you have worked hard and achieved something that they will never be able to do. They are just "weak-minded" people!! Take care & God Bless!!

BamaRose0107

Just say thank you and walk away! The "comments" you listed were more like jealousy driven jabs to get a reaction from you. Don't give them the pleasure of knowing they could get a reaction from you.

You look fabulous and more importantly you are getting healthy and thats all that matters!!!!!!!!!:flowerforyou:

bethrs

Oh I know!!! People forget that we are still the same people we were when we weighed more- if they thought about that fact, they wouldn't say some of the dumb things they do. I've started getting the "how are you doing it?" And I tell them, watch what I eat, keep a food diary and I have taken up running. Then I've had them say, "No, really, how are you doing it?" I even have a professor who points me out to the whole class (I'm in graduate school, so it's a small class but still) saying that I've lost weight in a lecture about eating disorders, or brings up my weight loss in lectures about physical health or self esteem. Once they even mentioned what I had brought for lunch while teaching.

I love complements, but sometimes the focus on me gets to be a bit nerve wracking.

Happyoceangirl

I think I may be guilty of over-complimenting an acquaintance.... she looks FANTASTIC.... and I don't see her that often - so I'm still surprised when I see her. The last time I saw her i may have over-gushed. Woops. It's just so exciting to see her success. I'll try to remember to be better.

NaturalMom

I completely understand! Women I worked with used to give me nasty back-handed complements like that. They are all overweight and used my weight-loss as an excuse not to include me in things like office lunches and celebrations. (e.g. "Oh, honey ... you are just too thin. We fat girls are going to go have some fried chicken. You just eat your little packed lunch.") And then when I gained weight for my pregnancy they all kept saying how fat I got and how it was bad for the baby to eat things like bread (with my salad). How's that for 180'!
It used to upset me. Now (~40lbs less than before my pregnancy) I realize that they were just jealous. They use their bitterness to make other people feel bad hoping it will make them feel better about themselves. The real kicker is that shortly after I had my beautiful daughter I quit and am now a full-time stay-at-home mom - skinny, energetic, happy and gorgeous (imho) - LOL! They will never see me again (I moved 500 miles away) but I know that I am the one who made out in the end....

dmags

I take every compliment that I can get. I have lost 20 pounds and it just this weekend that anyone close to me noticed or said anything! Now if had gained 5 pounds.... my mother would have been offering to pay for me to go to the gym! I have struggled with my weight my whole life and heard all of the backwards compliments... you have such a pretty face etc... So when someone notices how hard I am working, and I am working so hard, I appreciate it. Don't get me wrong some of the things that were said were way out of line... but my experience is that I am doing this for me, but I will take the compliment!

cindydufield

People should think before they speak. In the year 2000 i had lost 100lbs and was almost at goal i ran into a "Friend" who said WOW look at you the last time i saw you - you were huge! (i then was 60 lbs heavier).... now since then i have gained all this weight back and every time i see this person, so now that i am 40lbs heavier that when she thought i was HUGE - can you image what she thinks now.. I have to stop and think of where it is coming from... and giggle and call her names in my head... 10 years have passed and it has stuck with me .. people need to think before they speak, they think they are giving you encourage ment - and say way to go.. but come on..

Mamakatspokane

To those of you who are mad cause people "wouldn't give you the time of day before"... make sure you REALLY are the same person...I realized the first time I lost 50lbs that the reason more people were talking to me is because I wasn't staring at the floor and hiding in the back...I was more outgoing and tended to stand out more because I had a new inner confidence. It's not always everyone else's fault.....just something to remember....

HOWEVER, yes there are a lot of nasty nasty women (sorry but let's face it, women are much nastier than men) who will only talk to you cause you lost weight and mainly to give "horrible compliments" to make themselves feel better. If you think they really mean well say thank you and walk away...if not come up with a nice one liner that's lets everyone know your done with it.

I personally hate the gushing too, especially in front of my kids. I just say thank you, I feel much healthier (to let my kids now I do it for health not looks). If they won't drop it .... I usually say nothing, give a slight smile and that's it. Not reactting to people has a great way of letting them know you are done with the conversation.

toots99

To those of you who are mad cause people "wouldn't give you the time of day before"... make sure you REALLY are the same person...I realized the first time I lost 50lbs that the reason more people were talking to me is because I wasn't staring at the floor and hiding in the back...I was more outgoing and tended to stand out more because I had a new inner confidence. It's not always everyone else's fault.....just something to remember....

Good point, never thought of it that way.

mrsyac2

We were just talking about this today at the track- that when you lose weight people tell you what they were really thinking about you... It takes a lot for me to get offended I know I was a moo cow before and I say it and i have shown my picture to people and they can't believe that I got that big.

I even got on my husbands case because when I would ask him how I looked he said fine well when I lost the weight the truth came out I told him as my husband he is the one person to tell me what I don't want to hear but need to hear. Now that I have lost weight I told him if he notices a change then he needs to say something-

I remember one day I was eating something I shouldn't have been and he says I hear you getting fatter (I know some people would be upset) I on the other hand cracked up took one more bite and put it away.

As far as real sincere compliments I love getting them- I don't get back handed comments. But lately people are telling me I don't need to lose anymore weight because my face is too thin and my response to that is my *kitten* isn't hahaha.

Also people do change when they lose weight they gain confidence so you become more open to talk and most of the time more outgoing.

kiffypooh

I find I don't like complements from some people. My mom is one I hate hearing it from. She always gushes about how proud she is of me and how much happier I seem. I always want to say, "were you not proud before?" and "I've always been this happy, just not this confident." Mine is more if it's the same person over and over and over again. I'm actually surprised my grandma (she has had eating disorder after eating disorder, totally messed up) hasn't said anything. I lost 50 lbs back in 2000 before I got married and about 2 years ago my grandma dug out this picture of me at my thinest and was gushing about how good I look, I was like, "gee, thanks grandma, you know how to make people feel good!" I've been lucky this time around, because I'm working out and not just eating right I look healthier and in shape so I get more complements on that then my weight loss, which I LOVE. I like being able to say I'm fit and to do workouts that people 50-75 lbs smaller then I am can't do.
You are doing great!! You look amazing! Don't let anyone belittle that!

natspoiledbrat

Thank you for all of your responses. I agree with those of you who said that people lack tact and are trying to be nice and it just comes out all wrong. I am totally with kiffypooh...........I don't like the complements from my mom...........actually I hate them. I've even asked her to not mention my weight loss. I've noticed that men who try to complement me are the ones who really put their foot in their mouth because they are trying so hard not to say the wrong thing and they end up doing it anyway. The other complements that I don't like are the ones over and over again from the same people. There is one lady in particular who tells me every time she sees me........."Wow! I can't believe it........you look great!" I know she really means it, but if she saw me 50 times a day, she would tell me 50 times! I have been consistently working toward this goal and just wish people would realize this is the real me and drop it. If I got a new haircut, I would hear maybe one comment from someone..........with the weight loss it just seems like its over and over again. When people go overboard it really makes me wonder what they thought of me before. I am going to just continue to smile and say thanks..............maybe as time goes on it will die down a little. As far as being a different person, I know this is weird, but I almost feel more self-conscious than ever before. I have had a problem with loose skin, only in my arms, but this has really taken a toll on my self-esteem. I think I am less outgoing than before because I have issues with this...............Again, thank you everyone for letting me vent!