Relationship with Food...what's the deal..ADVICE please

I'm having serious food issues lately. I don't know if I've always had them, or I just notice it more since I'm paying attention. I have been exercising, but it's like I've been eating more since I know I'm exercising. Its depressing. I'll binge on sweets, then feel all bad. Need to get a grip. Any advice. I got had a slice of pie at a restaurant yesterday. It was so good, I bought a whole one for my mom for her birthday. WHen I took it to her house, she asked if I wanted a slice,,,sure! Then, she sent me home with 2 slices bc she knew she wouldn't eat the whole thing. Watching Downtonabbey last night...yes, both slices. I think thats like a half of a pie. I don't know that I've ever done that. Why now when I'm exercising. Food/relationships #argh.

This is embarassing to admit. Am I just weak and need to put the dang fork down, or is it deeper...or is is as simple as will power. SIGH.

Replies

  • boy i hear you. Sugar is the thing that derails my diet..sugar and really any white food...white bread, potatoes, white rice. I'd say try to kick sugar completely for one week and see how you feel. You can always go back if you want. But i find the more i eat sugar the more i want it AND the more it makes me hungry for everything else. for me, and possibly you...i don't know for sure, of course...sugar could be the culprit. i am sugar sensitive and yet i crave it like crazy. i'm 12 days now sugar-free and white food super limited and down weight and feeling SO much better. if i have a super-duper sugar craving, i have a no sugar added hot chocolate and savor it and it really helps. I feel your paint You can do it!
    :happy: :happy: :happy:
  • hauer01
    hauer01 Posts: 516 Member
    We all have bad days, bad meals, bad minutes. We need to move on from them. This "changing our whole life and attitude with food" is not easy. It is a simple concept, but it is not easy. If it was easy, none of us would be here.

    I fall into these ruts, as I call them, once in a while. I TRY to stop and ask myself if I really want that "piece of pie" or whatever it is. Then, before I eat or order it, I figure out how much MORE exercise would I have to do to burn off that piece of pie.

    If I still want it at this point, then I make myself wait at least 15 - 20 minutes for it. Usually by then, the urge has passed or I have talked myself out of it.
  • Some foods just cannot come into my sphere because I have poor impulse control around them. I would definitely have an issue with pie. But, when I do slip up, I log it and move on. Once I've eaten it there is nothing I can do but go forward.

    I do notice when I eat protein forward meals and limit the refined/simple carbs, I have less urge to eat crap.

    I definitely think it's worth talking to someone about it, especially the bingeing. I ate my feelings for years, and when I stopped it was rough because I actually had to feel my feelings. But gradually it has gotten better. I've built up a tolerance for my feelings and I try to deal with them in constructive ways. Instead of feeling deprived, I tell myself the only thing I'm deprived of is being fat and sick.

    Take care and good luck.
  • I LOVE FOOD. i have the worst love hate relationship with it. its my weakness. working out isnt as bad as giving up all these fatty unhealthy things, but i heard it takes atleast two weeks to get used to. after that it should feel easier. i jus tstarted on oatmeal and stuff.. im dieing.. and its only been not even a day.. :(
    u can do it tho!
  • Cdoug99
    Cdoug99 Posts: 23 Member
    Thanks, Just feeling defeated. I get motivated then I wonder what happened. Story of all our lives right? I'm just saying, that pie was the bomb yesterday, but today, just feeling fat and weak.
  • eileenchristine
    eileenchristine Posts: 228 Member
    Are you logging your food? Knowing I have to log what I eat makes a huge difference most days. Plus I no longer buy stuff. Was thinking of getting pastries for my son at the grocery store and said nope, cuz I knew if they were there i would have one. He doesn't need pastries, or if he wants them he can go get em himself. I do buy junk for the kids that I know hold no temptation for me, like chips, cheezits, bagged cookies. But pie or pastries or those frozen eclairs? I don't think so!

    Be aware of your weaknesses and avoid them. Could you have taken your mom only 1 slice of pie if that is what she wanted? No need to buy the whole pie. Just simple choices add up big time.

    You are doing great, one day at a time. Learn from it and move on, nothing you can do about it now but be wiser in the future.

    C
  • haileybailey5
    haileybailey5 Posts: 17 Member
    I would suggest reading "Intuitive Eating", although I do still count calories it helped me normalize a lot of issues I was having with food! It helped me see that no food is inherently 'bad' or 'negative' but rather all food is neutral and we need to stop projecting our emotions onto the food! The book helped me to truly indulge in all food that I eat and not label anything! Its definitely a book thats worth looking into.
  • KenosFeoh
    KenosFeoh Posts: 1,837 Member
    As simple as willpower? There's NOTHING simple about willpower. Sometimes the part of your brain that is telling you to do the right thing isn't in the driver seat. Slip-ups happen; learn from them; move on. Just don't give up completely.
  • jonzo21
    jonzo21 Posts: 446 Member
    I'm definitely with you on this issue. I've been exercising a lot this month, but there's always SOMETHING that derails it. Like last night at work.. someone brought in a HUGE bag of candy... my "I'll only have 1 piece" turned into like 20. When I got off work I had to play an extra 40 mins of zumba, but I was still -200 calories by the end of the night. Sad thing is, I had done zumba earlier that day (in total burned like 800 calories) yet I was still negative because of my indulgence. Thing is, a lot of people say "learn from your mistake and move on" and it sounds simple, yet it happens over and over for me... I feel that part of my brain saying "you don't want to eat that" but there's this other part of me that just does it anyway...

    I've read a bunch of threads about will power/self control but nothing really seems to help. I feel like its a deeper rooted issue, but can't afford to see a doctor or a psychiatrist for it -_-
  • Hinxx
    Hinxx Posts: 93 Member
    I just watched a documentary yesterday that explains addiction to food or to certain foods. It's extremely helpful and I think you will understand a lot of what's happening to you after you watch it. It's called "Hungry for Change". It's on Netflix. Hope it helps! :)
  • Starfish1125
    Starfish1125 Posts: 169 Member
    I love food. I just admitted to myself that I gained this weight b/c I used food as a substitute for affection missing in my marriage. It's HARD to walk away from those things that we enjoy. But the good news is you don't have to.

    If I ever had to give up sweet treats or chinese food forever, I would probably die. Ok, not literally, but I would not be happy and I would not be successful. So I find ways to incorporate those things that I love/crave, into my calories for the day.

    Yesterday I had a frozen pizza, which lead to reese's peanut butter cups and then to twizzlers. It was a bad carb/sugar overload day. But I woke up this morning and started over fresh and didn't beat myself up over it. Why would I? It tasted good. I enjoyed it and now I'm past it.

    Every meal you have the opportunity to make new choices. You can do this because you've gotten past the hardest part -admitting your weakness!
  • blues4miles
    blues4miles Posts: 1,481 Member
    I can't buy things like pie or I know I'll eat the entire thing like immediately. However, that doesn't mean I never buy pie (because we're all human...). But it does mean I try to think extra hard before I buy anything I know I'm likely to binge on.

    One thing that's helped me (and this might seem silly...) is to remind myself that the food is still going to be there. I don't need to eat popcorn TODAY because I know popcorn will always be there, and I can have it some other time. I can plan for it and make it a special occasion, not have popcorn every day for a week. But think, okay, I will let myself have popcorn in two months from now.

    Another thing I've heard is to write down the things you crave every day. Then let yourself have a little of ONE of those things once a week. I haven't tried that, but the poster who suggested that said it made it easier to not have all those things that week. That writing it out sort of spent some of the stress of that craving, and knowing they could pick what they wanted the MOST made it easier. Hope that helps, agree with the above poster who says nothing about willpower is simple.
  • TLCEsq
    TLCEsq Posts: 413 Member
    boy i hear you. Sugar is the thing that derails my diet..sugar and really any white food...white bread, potatoes, white rice. I'd say try to kick sugar completely for one week and see how you feel. You can always go back if you want. But i find the more i eat sugar the more i want it AND the more it makes me hungry for everything else. for me, and possibly you...i don't know for sure, of course...sugar could be the culprit. i am sugar sensitive and yet i crave it like crazy. i'm 12 days now sugar-free and white food super limited and down weight and feeling SO much better. if i have a super-duper sugar craving, i have a no sugar added hot chocolate and savor it and it really helps. I feel your paint You can do it!
    :happy: :happy: :happy:

    This is me too. I have hormonal issues (thyroid/adrenal) and before I could lose weight by calorie counting. I went through a period of extreme stress and packed on 30 lbs in less than two months, WITHOUT eating more or exercising less. I was eating a ton of carby foods, but nothing too extreme or unusual. Then I found out six months later I had low cortisol, low DHEA, etc. The only way of eating that has really helped me is gluten-free, but I am pregnant now (due in 5 weeks) and it's been hard to follow. I plan on going dairy and grain free when I am breastfeeding since both tend to be common allergens with babies. You need to figure out what works for you - when it comes to me and sugar, there's no such thing as "just one" or "one serving". Like you, I go totally overboard and it has to be an all-or-nothing deal, sadly.
  • Cdoug99
    Cdoug99 Posts: 23 Member
    Thank you all for your encouragement and advice. I had no dinner tonight, my stomach hates me after yesterday, but at the gas station, I really wanted Cheetos. I thought, how could I eat cheetos after whining about my lack of willpower on MFP. So, I got cheddar sunchips instead. A normal size snack bag. that was my dinner. Baby steps right.