Eating out with friends

sed1217

I'm running into a consistent problem with a few close friends and my spouse since I've started my weight loss journey. I'm open with others about my weight loss goal, and everyone has been generally supportive. That is, until we eat out. Last week, I went out to a bar with friends. All of them ordered very fatty, fried food, and I ordered a grilled chicken breast and a side salad. As they ate, they kept apologizing to me for ordering indulgent foods while I ate my meal. I kept assuring everyone that I was perfectly happy with my meal (I was) and that they were free to order and eat whatever they liked in front of me. But they kept apologizing, over and over. None of these friends need to lose weight , and, even if they were twice my size, they'd be free to order and eat whatever they liked without judgment. I got a bit embarrassed by all the attention on my meal, and got the sense that I was bringing people down a bit by making healthy food choices and not drinking.

Tonight , my husband decided to go out with the same group of friends and I stayed behind because I'm not feeling well. When he found out I wasn't going, he blurted out: "Great! Now I can order appetizers!" He's generally very supportive of my weight loss goals, and I've never commented on what he's ordered. But, again, I felt a bit like the inadvertent bummer in the situation.

So when did I, fat girl making good, win the title of food police? And how can I make myself and others more comfortable in these situations?

schmenge55

It sure sounds like they all care about you a lot and are really trying to be supportive (or they would not care or say anything at all). It's great really. Maybe just be honest and tell them there is no need to apologize. They are not tempting you and can feel free to eat whatever you want.

sed1217

That's a very good point :-) I guess I'm feeling a bit self-conscious about the changes as well - it's much easier to fit in and not do anything differently, but it won't get me to my goal.

username_misso

maybe let them know that you really do appreciate that they care and are trying to help, but for now you are going ok.
promise them you will let them know the first instant you feel you are slipping and if you need any other help or moral support, so they dont have to continuously fret, but also dont feel like they are useless and unhelpful, when their intentions are actually good.