too shy to go to the gym

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Replies

  • upgetupgetup
    upgetupgetup Posts: 749 Member
    Work out with your partner

    Wear super baggy clothes & a do rag
    THIS. I find that if a female makes themselves less "attractive", they don't garner as much attention.


    That's completely ridiculous. Why should I have to hide myself just to keep pervs from being jerks?

    If you're self-concious at the gym, that's one thing, but I will be damned if I am going to dress so as not to 'garner attention'. I'm not exactly wearing a bikini or anything (and believe me, you're glad I'm not) but....just.....I have no words for this attitude at all.

    I've made that argument myself, many times,and 100% agree. Let me be clear: in NO WAY am I suggesting OP is responsible for anyone's response to her or her body.

    However, OP's got some anxiety around this. I'm a female who used to suffer from social anxiety, and am suggesting a tactic I'm confident will help minimize attention she doesn't want so she can achieve a goal she's set.

    The fact is, if she walks in in baggy sweats, it's very likely she'll have a less aversive experience (fewer goggly eyes). Maybe in a few months she'd feel comfortable enough to wear something else.

    Also though, I have a hard time believing men used to men-only cultural norms are not going to act like *kitten* at least initially. Especially men who probably have high testosterone (oil rigs? come on).

    << feminist, but pragmatist.
  • RGv2
    RGv2 Posts: 5,789 Member
    Work out with your partner

    Wear super baggy clothes & a do rag
    THIS. I find that if a female makes themselves less "attractive", they don't garner as much attention.


    That's completely ridiculous. Why should I have to hide myself just to keep pervs from being jerks?

    If you're self-concious at the gym, that's one thing, but I will be damned if I am going to dress so as not to 'garner attention'. I'm not exactly wearing a bikini or anything (and believe me, you're glad I'm not) but....just.....I have no words for this attitude at all.
    I agree 100%.

    Maybe those guys and guys in general need to grow up. That being said, *I* am one of the nicest guys you can meet in the gym.

    Not saying it's right, but after spending time in the military, it can be "easier said than done" when you haven't seen a female in weeks/months. Honestly, they probably don't even know they're doing it. I'd catch myself doing it while on deployments without really even realizing it.
  • nguk123
    nguk123 Posts: 223
    I recommend that you make a sincere effort to simply befriend the other regular gym members.
  • melindanew
    melindanew Posts: 150 Member
    Work out with your partner

    Wear super baggy clothes & a do rag
    THIS. I find that if a female makes themselves less "attractive", they don't garner as much attention.


    That's completely ridiculous. Why should I have to hide myself just to keep pervs from being jerks?

    If you're self-concious at the gym, that's one thing, but I will be damned if I am going to dress so as not to 'garner attention'. I'm not exactly wearing a bikini or anything (and believe me, you're glad I'm not) but....just.....I have no words for this attitude at all.

    I've made that argument myself, many times,and 100% agree. Let me be clear: in NO WAY am I suggesting OP is responsible for anyone's response to her or her body.

    However, OP's got some anxiety around this. I'm a female who used to suffer from social anxiety, and am suggesting a tactic I'm confident will help minimize attention she doesn't want so she can achieve a goal she's set.

    The fact is, if she walks in in baggy sweats, it's very likely she'll have a less aversive experience (fewer goggly eyes). Maybe in a few months she'd feel comfortable enough to wear something else.

    Also though, I have a hard time believing men used to men-only cultural norms are not going to act like *kitten* at least initially. Especially men who probably have high testosterone (oil rigs? come on).

    << feminist, but pragmatist.

    And I completely get what you're saying. If you (generic you) are shy or you feel comfy in baggy sweats and a huge shirt, the you should wear that. *I* wear a do rag, because I sweat like a cow! If you *want* to hide yourself and it makes you feel better to do so, then do that.

    But I still say that women (oh, sorry, 'females') are in no way obliged to dress themselves so as not to 'garner attention' from men. They are obliged to dress in a way that covers the relevant bits as social convention dictates, and in a way in which the woman is comfortable. If that's baggies and a huge shirt, then that's awesome.

    Men are obliged to look if they want, but keep it subtle (cause we're people, and people look) and keep their hands and comments to themselves.

    It was just as much the 'females' as the 'garner attention' that set me off. :)
  • melindanew
    melindanew Posts: 150 Member
    Work out with your partner

    Wear super baggy clothes & a do rag
    THIS. I find that if a female makes themselves less "attractive", they don't garner as much attention.


    That's completely ridiculous. Why should I have to hide myself just to keep pervs from being jerks?

    If you're self-concious at the gym, that's one thing, but I will be damned if I am going to dress so as not to 'garner attention'. I'm not exactly wearing a bikini or anything (and believe me, you're glad I'm not) but....just.....I have no words for this attitude at all.
    I agree 100%.

    Maybe those guys and guys in general need to grow up. That being said, *I* am one of the nicest guys you can meet in the gym.

    Not saying it's right, but after spending time in the military, it can be "easier said than done" when you haven't seen a female in weeks/months. Honestly, they probably don't even know they're doing it. I'd catch myself doing it while on deployments without really even realizing it.

    Are you honestly saying that you find yourself staring at women in such a way as to make them uncomfortable, and you are not aware that you are doing so? I don't mean checking them out, I mean oogling them in such a way as to make them uncomfortable while they are working out?
  • Meg_Shirley_86
    Meg_Shirley_86 Posts: 275 Member
    Work out with your partner

    Wear super baggy clothes & a do rag
    THIS. I find that if a female makes themselves less "attractive", they don't garner as much attention.


    That's completely ridiculous. Why should I have to hide myself just to keep pervs from being jerks?

    If you're self-concious at the gym, that's one thing, but I will be damned if I am going to dress so as not to 'garner attention'. I'm not exactly wearing a bikini or anything (and believe me, you're glad I'm not) but....just.....I have no words for this attitude at all.
    ^^^^THIS!
  • Hadabetter
    Hadabetter Posts: 942 Member
    Even the most self-confident of women might feel uncomfortable working out in that environment.

    I like the super-baggy clothing idea though. It might be just the ticket for you.
  • alaskanaomi
    alaskanaomi Posts: 36
    Thanks everyone. You really have no idea how much that helps. I think I'm going to look into getting a trainer when I get home. One of my biggest fears is that I'm not using the machines or weights correctly - if I had a professional show me, I'd be much more confident.

    It's a tough thing for me - I am a self conscious person by nature, but I know I have to just get over it. The tips and thoughts were very encouraging, so thank you!

    ~Naomi
  • melindanew
    melindanew Posts: 150 Member
    Thanks everyone. You really have no idea how much that helps. I think I'm going to look into getting a trainer when I get home. One of my biggest fears is that I'm not using the machines or weights correctly - if I had a professional show me, I'd be much more confident.

    It's a tough thing for me - I am a self conscious person by nature, but I know I have to just get over it. The tips and thoughts were very encouraging, so thank you!

    ~Naomi

    You're awesome and you're to be commended for just doing it. :) Trainers are a great way to work out what each machine does and what you're meant to be doing with them. It'll be weird/strange/awkward at first (it was for me, seriously) but we all started somewhere, even the men! Every single one of those guys there at one time walked into the gym for the first time, looked around and said, "What the hell do these things even *do*?"

    It's not just women who do that, it's all of us. Once you do it a few times you might be less self-concious, cause you know what you're doing. Hang in there. :)
  • jos05
    jos05 Posts: 263 Member
    You're brave enough to work in the oil field but not to go to the gym?! You can do this! I agree w/the others - no revealing clothes and pop in the earbuds and crank the music - do your thing and ignore anyone else.

    Couldn't agree more... do it for yourself!!

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