It's either Food or Cigarettes?

missyannb85

Alright, here's my back story. I quit smoking around 3 months ago now. I quit without even knowing that I had quit after smoking for almost 9 years. I gave birth to my beautiful daughter in May last year and didn't/don't want her to associate the nasty smell of ciggs with her Mommy.
Growing up and still today I deal with stress with food. It's my crutch and always has been. If I'm stressed I eat and eat and eat and eat. It's like I'm a bottomless pit, I will eat everything in site and not feel full, ever.
My husband and I moved into his parents house over last weekend and since then I have gained back 7lbs and not excersised a single time. I had been doing so good on my diet and I was so proud of myself for the first time in forever.
So, here it is... I am depressed and stressed all the time about living with my in-laws and it's not going to get any better until the day I move out of this house. I spoke to my husband the other night about it and explained how I felt about wanting a cigarette again and he said that if it's really what I need to get through this that he has every bit of faith that I can quit again. There is NO WAY that I can make it through this without either food or ciggs. It has to be one or the other, i'm not mental capable of handing this situation without one of the two. Please don't judge me or send me nasty messages back, please try to be understanding of my situation. I am aware that I sound vaguely pathetic but that is what this has come to. Anyone else picked back up smoking to keep from picking back up the weight? Thanks everyone for any of your own stories with this issue. it would be great to know i'm not alone.
~Melissa

bebbjeb

I understand your situation. We had to move back in with my inlaws for a while! I know it's hard and you need something of your own that you can control. Have you considered taking up a new activity - something like a dance class/zumba or an adult education arts and crafts? This will get you out of the house and your mind on something else!

erickirb

How about every time you feel like a smoke or eating you exercise instead. Exercise releases chemicals in your body that make you feel good, may be similar to your smoking, and it is hard to eat while you are exersicing. Give it a try, you can go for a walk, do push-ups, sit-ups anything to keep you busy, and it is cheaper than smoking or eating.

justann

I agree. Please try to find a new, productive activitiy. I am not preaching or judging. I completely understand your dilemma and the feelings you are having. I am dealing with mega stress here too and am only 6 weeks smokefree after a 33 year, pack a day addiction. I almost caved last night in fact. However, what I have found that works is working out to my dvds. Every time I am stressed or want a cigarette I put on a dvd....and this is one woman who NEVER worked out before. I wish you the best. Hang in there, Melissa! You can do it!

SASSYJAX

...think you should find some sugar free sweets and go out for walks - A LOT!
dont ruin all your efforts...its like blaming them or your situation for your actions...we all have tough times....
So ask yourself...
AM I A DUSTBIN? - no, so only fill yourself with nourishing goodness then! Dont put rubbish in...get an image in your mind of a beautiful brand new car with rubbish tipped in it, yuk all over, do you want that to be you?! NO so stay strong and be good to yourself, if you stuff yourself with rubbish you will feel RUBBISH! it wont help.

DO I WANT MY DAUGHTER TO SMOKE? NO - so dont smoke yourself then, she will learn from you and you will quite frankly poison her little body with your smoke, or at the very least you will STINK and TASTE HORRID! SO dont, you deserve better and you should feel proud of what you have achieved so far...you have done so well...

DONT BLOW IT NOW !!!
Go GIRL!
SHow your daughter what you can do....xxxx

sonjavon

You ARE mentally capable of doing both! Quitting smoking is hard - I know i've been trying for 2 years! You can do anything you set your mind to.
You need to find a new, healthier addiction... how about exercise? Particularly - LONG walks? Grab the kiddo, a stroller and get moving. That gets you out of the house, gets you moving, helps instill in your daughter the idea that exercise is good and you're doing something great for you.

That being said... I understand the situation you're in - living with anyone else is difficult - but inlaws are even more difficult. If you have to choose one thing or the other - eat.. don't smoke. BUT - try to make healthy choices. Find new comfort foods. If you're eating as a "Family" offer to cook some or help with menu planning. You can do this - we're here for you. PS - Blogging can be really helpful in releasing tension!

TizMeAim

try the replacement gum it will satisfy both ur addictions in place of ciggs u still get nicotine, and the gum tricks ur brain with the chewing action....... good luck and congrats on the bundle of joy!

lt_mrcook

Please don't let yourself get caught in a downward spiral of it has to be food or cigs. For your own sake, and that of your daughter, please leave yourself open to other options.
Exercise is an incredible stress reducer, plus the endorphines it releases have the effect of quelling hunger and are what the anti-depressant drugs try to simulate. If you're feeling stressed try taking your daughter for a long, brisk walk. Use her to dance and squat, lift and swing. She'll be your workout partner, your weights, and your confidant as you'll be able to spill your heart to her and she will listen like your are the only person on Earth and never judge you. That's what helped my wife when she had our first child, in a different country (Japan), while I was deployed on a Navy ship.
I know it sounds impossible, and I fully sympathize with your circumstances, but try to ignore everything that is going on around you and focus on taking care of yourself and your daughter. Isn't that what's really important anyhow? smoking and binge eating will not help you accomplish either of those goals.
Please, please, please don't let yourself be sucked into what you feel are your only options. Branch out and try to find something else to help fill the need. Prayers and well wishes for you and your family. Good luck.

SuadElTurk

Direct your anger/depression on something else like painting or kickboxing or even Meditating something to do with emotions....And if u fell the need to eat....Get something that is low on fat and calories and stuff yourself with it ......Because u seem to be in the habit of keeping yourself occupied with food. occupy your time with something Else, but it has to bring out your emotions...

mamacindy81

Good morning Missy,

Please take this with all the kindness I am bringing with it. I watched my FIL die from lung cancer so it pains me that you are thinking of taking up smoking again as a way to curb your appetitie. He once told me that being addicted to ciggs is as bad as being addicted to heroin. Please don't go there again. I just think you need this information before you decide to smoke again.

So many times we focus on the negative things in life. I don't know the reason you had to move in with your in-laws. I don't know what kind of relationship you have with them. I moved in with my MIL 15 years ago to take care of her after my FIL passed away. It hasn't been easy but the one thing that has helped me is to focus on the positive things this situation has brought about. She has Alzheimers and has gone from functioning to Total Care. She can't do anything for herself now and I see to all her needs. When I get down I turn my thoughts to what good I am doing.

I guess what I am trying to say is try to focus on the positive aspects and please, please find ways to handle your stress in better ways than smoking. Take that baby out in the stroller for a brisk walk. Always keep in mind "that this too shall pass".

Cindy

UCONNCOED

I hear you, Im a smoker too. Honestly, my working out has made me cut down for the sake of wanting to be able to run more/better. i think everyone has got vices and addictions, but if you have already quit..... then definitely make your addiction something else (if you can).... like running. Or training for something. Plus it will help you get out of the house for longer than the 5 min smoke break

kellykat

On your profile your tag line is - "This is for me." Quitting smoking and losing weight is both for you. There have been a lot of wonderful suggestions on how to deal with the emotions and the stress, but it's not going to sink in for you until you realize that - this is for you. This is for you having a long life with your husband and your child. This is for you feeling better about yourself. This is for you overcoming the obstacles in your life and being victorious. You can do it.

KatWood

There is NO WAY that I can make it through this without either food or ciggs.

With lots of love and respect, this simply isn't true. There are much healthier and effective ways to deal with stress. And even if you did pick one of these habits back up there is no guarantee it would actually make you feel better in fact you would likely feel worse (both because of the mental and physical consequences). Contrary to popular belief (and I say this as a recent ex-smoker) smoking does not relax people it is a stimulant. A healthy body will make it much easier to deal with stress which can itself have significant physical impacts. Think of it this way, if you knew you were going to be in a situation where your body was going to be exposed to illness would you prefer to have a strong immune system or a weak one?

I know this situation isn't easy but don't fool yourself into following back into old habits. It isn't the answer and I think you know that or you wouldn't have posted here. There are options, exercise is a great way to relieve stress and have some well deserved "me" time. Spending time with friends, family or other people who can relate and provide advice is important. Most of all try to focus on all the postive things in your life like your husband and child. Don't sweat the small stuff and keep in mind that things have a way of working themselves out and if not, well keep in mind nothing is forever.

Good luck :flowerforyou:

Fit4Vet

So, Missy...I know exactly how you must feel because I have some of the same problems! The very first thing I want you to hear me say is

3 months is the toughest spot!!

That's right. Give it one week. Don't smoke. Give it one week. I promise it will get easier.

I know because at 3 months I almost caved. Stress was the devil - the world was in chaos around me, but I had to keep up the guard. And...amazingly at 3 months & 1 week, I was fine.

And then I became a NON-SMOKER for the first time ever in my whole life - from puberty on...

Until then, when I would enter a restaraunt & they asked smoking or non, I'd answer smoking & then think, whoa, wait a a minute! After 3 months & 1 week, the answer has always been NON right away. I swear that smell will choke you to death.

My husband even smokes outside now. I just can't stand it.

Mind you, I was almost crazy when I quit - until 3 months 1 week. And, then the craving just went away. I wouldn't touch the stuff now (not even to empty an ashtray)! After 3 months 1 week...that was my spot...so PLEASE just WAIT. You've already made it this far. What's one more week?

Listen...there are always gonna be stresses. There will always be excuses that you can make. But I tell you 1/2, maybe even 3/4 of your battle with the cigs is done. Please don't give up now.

I'm here for you if you need some support! :flowerforyou:

Heather_Guitar

I've totally had thesame problem.... I think that inthis dayand age it's so easy to get addicted....alcohol, food, cigs, muscle building, tv.... but I've dealt with it one thing at a time personally.

I've cut down on my smoking gradually, and I've lost three stone before joining this site, but I don't think I would've been able to say "no" to all those chocs and treats being passed aroundthe office if I didn't know I could go out for a quick cig.
I think as long as you keepyour cigs under a certain amount then you should be ok....
Personally I'm going to get to my goal weight before I quit altogether. )

Best of luck hun. )

stormieweather

I smoked for 34 years because I didn't want to put the weight on, and because I felt I "needed" it for the stress. I quit once, years ago, for one year, and put on 30 pounds. Fear of the same happening again kept me puffing for another couple of decades.

I decided in May of last year (grats on your daughter's birth then!) to quit and to NEVER smoke another cigarette. Ever. And I was determined NOT to gain weight, so I began using MFP and used the $$ savings from not smoking to join a gym.

Oh the cravings....only the first week or so were physical...after that it was all in my head. Smoke breaks with my friends at work, smoking in the car on the way to/from work, sitting on my porch daydreaming while I smoked, smoking after eating, smoking after sex, smoking at parties, smoking smoking smoking....so much of my life revolved around having a smoke. What to do instead?!

Eat tic tacs, chew gum, hard candies, fake (electronic) cigarettes, exercise, and most importantly, tell yourself that you ARE stronger than this addiction and that you WILL not cave in and that you (and your daughter) DO deserve a long, healthy life!!! Do you want your daughter to grow up to smoke? Don't model it for her. A month after I quit smoking, my 21yr old son took it up. After practically begging me for years to quit, and I finally do, he starts. Because, you know, he needs it for the stress going on in his life right now (wonder where he heard that from!?). NO son, you don't. Pleeeeeeeease.

You can do this. Just don't smoke today. Worry about tomorrow, tomorrow.


Oh and I lost 15 pounds and 2 clothing sizes when I quit smoking. And no longer need an inhaler or asthma pills. :devil:

jbuffan218

Missy,
This just breaks my heart.
I look at you and I see my beautiful daughter, she is also 24 dark haired and surprisingly your profile pic looks very similar.
She is the best thing I have ever done in my life. The one thing I am proud of, and she is my only child. I have made many sacrifices for my daughter over the last 24 years (divorced -raised her alone) and would do anything in my power to help her through her rough times.
I know you understand that now because you are also a mother of a daughter.
The reason I am telling you this is because as I raised her , no one in my immeadiate circle smoked. She had ( notice the word HAD) a grandmother who smoked but other than that no one in our family or close friends smoked.
She hated the smell at her grandmas house, and to this day will remember Grandma Sally always smelled like cigarettes.
I never had the worry about her smoking in high school or the peer pressure of that becasue she was athletic and HATED the smell.
Well guess what.......at 22 years old she started smoking!
I am heartsick. I have tried everything including bribery to get her to quit. Told her I would give her $20 a week for every week she didnt smoke, hell that would pay her cable bill ! Offered her $1000 if she would be smoke free for 6 months, figured by that time she would be free from the cravings, she said she'd think about it. Well, that was a year ago. She claims she will quit when you has her first baby. Well, that could be years and by then she will be hooked big time. Her long beautiful hair smells like smoke ( her room-mate smokes also Her jeep reeks of smoke, her laundry ( yes, I do her laundry :blushing: ) stinks up my laundry room and just think of the $$$ wasted. You might as well just light a $5 bill on fire and watch it burn. But she lives on her own and I have no control. The Grandma I mentioned earlier died just after Christmas , she had been on Oxygen for a couple years and had continually respiratory issues ever since I've known her back into the early 80"s, so it was a natural progression for her.

If I had to choose food or cigs, I'd say go with the food. Make smart choices, at least that way you know what your putting in your body. I am also a stress eater and find that I need to chew. Pick foods that you can use your hands, cut up apples, mini carrots ( chewing to release all that anger) if you need some ranch to dip so what, better than cigs. Wheat thins, reduced fat cheez-its. String cheese, cut up fruit, anything that takes awhile to eat. 100 calories swiss miss fudge bars. Popcorn, one-two kernals at a time. I imagine it is easier to loose weight than to quit smoking. There can't be too many things as hard as quitting. Think of it that way.

I wish with all my heart that you do not start smoking again, do what ever youhave to to stay a NON-SMOKER.
I have said many times that when I die the one regret in my life will be that my daughter is a smoker.:smokin:
And I can't save her from herself.

Think of your sweet baby girl, I know your young and cant imagine being 40 -50 years old right now but let me tell you it happens in the blink of an eye. Do you want her to remember you as smelling of smoke and end up with that gravely hacking smokers voice ? You know the one, you've heard it many times, the lady who sounds like a old barfly? With the smokers cough? Yuck.
Think about how you would feel if you saw you sweet daughter doing something so self destructive as smoking and you were powerless to stop her? You protect her from every harmful thing you can and yet you dont worry that when she needs you the most ( teens, young wife , young mother) you might not be there .

So I beg you to just NOT smoke for today. Then you can look at tomorrow and NOT smoke for that day.
Go each day smoke free, one day at a time.
Get outside today, it's beautiful here in Michigan , spring is just around the corner and you have a baby that would love some fresh air:flowerforyou:
I wish you the best of luck, what ever you decide to do.

KatWood

Listen...there are always gonna be stresses. There will always be excuses that you can make. But I tell you 1/2, maybe even 3/4 of your battle with the cigs is done. Please don't give up now.

I couldn't have said it better.
It does get easier. I still miss smoking sometimes (it will be a year in April) but I would never consider giving up everything I have gained by quitting. One thing that stands out is how much my breathing has improved, this has caused me to sleep much better than before. And they say getting a good nights sleep is crucial for dealing with stress.

I would also say if you decide you have to choose one or another I think you should pick eating over smoking and just try to choose healthier food choices as often as possible.

BrendaLee

I feel bad for you, but we're all stressed. I think it's ridiculously important that you DO NOT start smoking again. No good can come from that, and I wouldn't count on finding the motivation to quit again. I quit when I was pregnant for the same reason you did- my baby, and I never started again, because I never wanted her to smell that awful smell on me.

You need to find another way to cope. I found it took me 10 years (maybe it wasn't that long, but it felt like it) to completely overcome the smoking habit, but starting again was never an option- that is one monkey you do not want on your back again.

If it came down to a decision between food and cigarettes, I would say eat.
__

One other thing- recognize that your mind is playing games with you right now to allow you to find a way to smoke again. It's the same with me and chocolate. When I'm at the store, my brain will throw out all kinds of reasons why it would be ok for me to go home with a chocolate bar, but if I don't resist, I'm not going to get stronger.

CasperO

Hey - you know what those things cost nowadays? $5 a pack,,, so if you're a reasonably light smoker, say a pack a day, that's $150 a month. Does pulling another $150 a month out of your budget get you closer to having your own place again, or further? Go for a little Kia and that's a $&% car payment! It's a lot of money...

Wise woman Brenda has made another of her brilliant points. You don't really want to smoke,,, your addiction is working on you. You can resist this, and I pray that you do. You're almost there - almost to the point where you'll never think about them again. Be strong - you can do it.

I quit a couple years ago after nearly 30 years. You can be free - the cravings do eventually go away, but you gotta get there. After 3 months you're proabably about done.

AProkop

You will know when the time is right for you to quit smoking.

I smoked for most of my 20's and late teen years. I have tried quitting a couple of different times. The first time I quit and started smoking again, I made a bunch of excuses of why I needed a cigarette and usually it was related to stress. I realized I was just making excuses to myself and not anyone else. However, the last time I quit, it was successful. Sure, I have cheated and had a cigarette in a social situation, usually when alcohol is involved(that is the worst). But otherwise I have been smoke free for a little over a year and a half. There were definitely difficult times. The first year is rough but everyday that passes it gets a little bit easier.

Unfortunately a lot of people substitute cigarettes with food. The "hand to mouth" motion can be very difficult to stop. Some of the things that helped me with this was buying fake/costume cigarettes, carrot sticks, drinking more bottled water, eating sugar free candy or suckers, keeping your hands busy with a yo-yo or another toy.

I don't think I would have been successful if I tried to quit smoking and lose weight at the same time. For me quitting smoking took priority over anything else. I think you should ask yourself what is more important to you and your family.

Sparksfly

Have you tried going to the Dr. and talking about your urges??? It might be deeper than just WANTING a cig or eating lots of food due to stress.

I was an overeater bc of my stress levels were over the top! Talked to a Dr. and was prescribed Wellbutrin XL. I know meds aren't always the answer, but if you really can't control yourself maybe you should talk to someone about your compulsive impulses.

Suprise, suprise! They use Wellbutrin for muliple stress "relievers". My friend is on it now to help him quit smoking. It works for a lot of people.

Meds are not always the answer, like I said earlier, but since going on Wellbutrin I do not overeat anymore. I exercise at least 4x a week and have lost around 25 lbs since last year. REALLY, REALLY talk to your Dr. It might help you to get through a tough time!

LittleSpy

You can only quit smoking when you want to and are ready. I wanted to quit for years & even did for a few months a couple of times. Guess what, when I started smoking again those times, it wasn't any easier to quit the next time I tried. I finally quit the habit in October 2007. I say "quit the habit" because I still occasionally have A (ONE) cigarette every few months if I'm at a party or if the mood strikes. I haven't been addicted since 10/07.

Anyway, I started losing weight and being healthier in September. Since then I have smoked more cigarettes than I smoked the entire 2 years before that. Not a lot -- maybe a pack over 6 months but I had to put a stop to it. How does smoking fit in with my wanting to be HEALTHY?! It doesn't. At all. And since I'm on a quest to be healthy (and not just to lose weight), it wasn't going to fly for me.

But, realize that it's not that you CAN'T do this without the crutch of food or cigarettes, it's that you don't know how. I don't have much advice or a solution for this other than contacting a counselor and your feelings are completely understandable. I'm not saying that with the intention of being rude (although I'm sure it is), but sometimes you have to be realistic and call a spade a spade.

Addiction is crappy. I've been there -- with cigarettes and food. I hope you can conquer it some day.

kendrafallon

I'm in the same boat as you Missy, its either food or *kitten* (I'm a Brit btw). I'm cutting down the amount I smoke slowly, but during high-stress situations the smoking goes through the roof - more so now that I'm watching my weight.

Given that you quit smoking, it's not worth starting again - as some of the others have pointed out the health side of things and the money side of it just aren't worth it.

I'm going to try the suggestions made here and see if I can quit smoking and not put on weight while I try and quit. I wish you all the very best and hope you find a solution that works for you.

PoisonSugar

The first time I lost baby weight, my breakfast, lunch and dinner consisted of cigarettes with a carrot stick in between for snack.

When you feel like you want a cigarette is there anything else you can do aside from smoking or eating? How about go for a walk? It would get you out of the in-laws house, give you some excellent cardio, FRESH air, and you can even do it WITH your daughter. Your in-laws live in a semi-seccluded subdivision so it's easy to do.

What do you always turn to (as far as food is concerned) when you are stressed? Crunchy, sweet, salty...? Find a healthy substitute. I've heard frozen grapes or blueberries work wonders on a sweet tooth. Banana's, btw, help curb the craving for cigarettes.

Call a FRIEND, play Farmville, look up a new recipe for dinner that night. Do you really want your daughter to associate that smell with her mother? Being a non-smoker for this long, you know what stale smoke on someones person smells like. A smoker doesn't smell it, remember? It's absolutely disgusting. Do you remember waking up some mornings with your chest hurting so bad it felt like someone was sitting on it every time you drew in a breath?

Life is stressful. Push through and teach your daughter HEALTHY ways to handle stressors when she gets old enough. I have all the confidence in the world that you can do this. You have come a long way, baby! Push through.