Advice wanted: How do you cope with STRESS!?

bambi5014

I desperately need some ways to cope with huge amounts of stress that keep getting thrown at me. My coping mechanism in years past has been to eat, drink or smoke. With all of that cut out, I need a new way to cope. I am a working mom with 3 school aged children. My husband is unemployed and going through a lot emotionally.

Recently I have been exercising fairly regularly, but honestly find it VERY hard to get motivated to do so when I feel so blue. Playing Just Dance on the Wii with the kids is one thing I have done that helps, and sledding when it snows. I really want to succeed with my weight-loss. What do you do when all you crave is comfort food to make you feel better?

Also, I need some more MFP friends... the more the merrier on this journey, right?! Feel free to add me.

Kelley528

Exercise is how used to cope with stress. Now that I am not stressed I dont have the motivation to exercise.

Maybe try to find time for yourself away from things. Even if its just getting your nails done, sitting in a park ( when weather permits) reading a book, taking scenic walks.

When I have the urge to eat something knowing that I am not hungry in the least, I'll make a cup of coffee or tea just to occupy myself for awhile.

lizlkbg

I don't know if this will work since you seem to live in a snowy climate, but WALKING is very calming to me. With my music on, hopefully. Just let my mind go blank. Also, tea. Even if you put a packet of sugar in, that is only 15 calories. Something that smells comforting - I love honey vanilla chamomile and Yogi perfect energy.

Stretch. Also, reach out. Yesterday I put a status on facebook asking everyone to tell me one good thing, any subject. I got 50 responses that brightened my day!

Finally, and this is a hard one, try to get enough sleep. Seems impossible at times, but so worthwhile.

I am also a working mom of 3, just went through a period of unemployment, finances are precarious, and in the past 6 months my son was diagnosed with Type 1 diabetes and my husband with lymphoma. So I TOTALLY understand your challenges.

I'll send you a FR. Hang in there.

lizlkbg

AND - STAY AWAY FROM NEGATIVE PEOPLE. Sorry to yell, but it's important!!! If you feel yourself getting anxious around a certain person, ask them if you really need them in your life. If you do, try to figure out ways to counteract the drag-down effect.

RonnieLodge

Recently I have been exercising fairly regularly, but honestly find it VERY hard to get motivated to do so when I feel so blue. Playing Just Dance on the Wii with the kids is one thing I have done that helps, and sledding when it snows. I really want to succeed with my weight-loss. What do you do when all you crave is comfort food to make you feel better?

I used to drink, smoke and eat.

Recently, regular exercise to good music is my go to.

angdestry

With all of that going on, I'm super stoked for you that you aren't eating cheesecake while drinking rum and cokes inbetween drags on your cigarette! As someone that eats sugar by the pound and drinks wine like it's water when she's stressed, I totally get where you're coming from. When I was a SAHM, I had a hard time carving out me time. You need to find a way to have that time--a few hours or a few minutes--to only focus on you everyday. Working out helps me de-stress. When I don't have time for that, I take a 15 minute "me" break. Usually that means sitting down with Star magazine (of some other mag I would be MORTIFIED for anyone to actually see me buy!) and flipping through the stories. Whatever it takes to make sure I don't lose my mind is what I do! Otherwise, everyone pays for my bad attitude LOL

jonesin_am

Exercise, exercise and more exercise! I found that running really helped me. I started off slow with the C25K program and increased my distance from there. Running is my ME time. I can clear my head and think without distractions or I can just focus on running and block everything else out.

Also, exercise gets those endophins going so it just makes you feel better in general. I understand it's hard to get motivated but you just have to do it. And once you do you will feel great about it.

AlayshaJ

I dont besides lifting, im just freaking out constantly. Its terrible, really.

marathon64

I know it's tough but something high intensity that gets your heart pounding will also get your endorphins pumping and then you will feel so much better! If going out for a run is not your thing a short DVD can be great. A lot of people on here love Jillian Michael's 30 day shred. That's how I lost all my weight and I loved it because it's so short-like 22 minutes I think?

sphira

Try a relaxing yoga DVD or a meditation DVD. I feel stress in my shoulder and the yoga really helps to relieve the stress. Check on YouTube for yoga or meditation

samlankford

exercise... I LOVE to beat the hell out of the heavy bag to the point where my hands are swollen if I am not wearing gloves...

bambi5014

Thanks all. I really appreciate the ideas and will genuinely consider each one.

jflint86

Yoga and music. Lots and lots of each

Strength2Succeed

Im so sorry to hear about whats going on! Its great that you are reaching out for suggestions and positive people to surround yourself with. Last year was an INSANE year for me health wise/personal relationships/home life/finances. What I have done as suggested above is take my dog off leash walking in trails and take in the fresh air! I LOVE IT! Its beautiful, calming and most importantly time to myself that I can think or chose not to. I read and aside from the gym I play ballhockey and soccer. When I am playing my sports thats also my time away from what is going on in my life. I am surrounded by great people and working out while im at it Please feel free to add me!

iLoveMyPitbull1225

Excersise and stretching help me a lot, but I am also the type that needs "me" time. I also NEEEEED my time with my friends. My dog brings huge amounts of joy and de-stressing to my life. Basically, find some stuff that makes you happy and make time for them, as well as making time to just be by yourself.

P.S.- Friend request sent as well

bookwormk

I found the best way for me, is to do yoga. When something is thrown at me, I just breathe. I can sit there and focus on my breathing and relax while I figure out what I can do about the situation. The breathing keeps me level headed so I don't get emotional. Once upon a time I would listen to Yogi Wade's podcasts and do that work out about 90 min. I had a kid and let everything slip, so I'm working my way back up. But when I get stressed all my muscles hurt and yoga stretches them and relaxes them so I FEEL better.

Just my two cents on what works for me.

cedarghost

Headphones and a heavy bag in the garage.

cosmic0074

I'm under constant stress and it always help me to work out because feeling all GRRRRRR!! :explode: makes me have a hell of a work-out (try that with strength training or running). That and being around funny loved ones I'm sorry to hear about your husband though, I hope he can find a new job asap.

cebreisch

In times like this, one of my doctors said, "It's okay to take care of yourself and be selfish - it's your turn!"

As someone else already said, limit the negativity. Avoid negative people, avoid the evening news shows, and if you're going to read the paper - focus on one section: The comics.

Watch uplifting movies instead of "blow 'em up, blood & guts" movies.

If there's a hobby you always wanted to take up, now's the time. Knitting, sewing, crocheting - and I'm not talking about 3 hours at a time - maybe just start at 15 minutes. There are video's on YouTube that can show you how to do it.

I have 2 kids, and know it's hard to keep them occupied or not at each's other's throats....find activities that you can do with them....my sister once got some little wooden boxes from Michael's and some paints, and her kids LOVED painting them and making them their own. My sister-in-law has given my daughters braclet making kits, and they love that. I play UNO with them and CandyLand. My husband plays Clue with them. I took them to see Monsters Inc over the holidays.

Even Chik-Fil-A has family night - the one we go to has it on Tuesdays, and it's "buy one get one free kids meals" - so we order 4 kids meals, and it's about $11.00 for the 4 of us to eat. On the 2nd Tuesday of the month, they have a 3 person band play kids songs, Buddy Holly songs, a little Elvis, a little Johnny Cash....etc. The kids LOVE it. - not to mention being able to play in the play area too.

At Steak-n-Shake, kids eat free on weekends....Fazoli's has family nights too with "buy an adult entree' and get kids meals free"...

Or even go to the mall food court - there's a mall here that has a play area for kids, and that was our typical Tuesday night festivity...there was enough variety in the food court we could be good with our choices too.

But really - find some way to get in some "ME time"....stop by a store on the way home you've always wanted to peruse, go fill up your car and take your time, when you get home go for a walk before getting the kids (or take the kids with you if you want) - take the long way home through the woods down a few two-way streets that are less travelled...Ask your husband to take the kids somewhere to play so you can lay down for a little while and decombust...

For what it's worth - and good luck!

samanthalee87

I'll usually go for a REALLY long walk with my dog, sometimes alone or sometimes with my boyfriend if I need to talk to someone. If I'm more mad than stressed I will workout. A good sweat helps clear up negative emotions.

claritarejoice

Hi, I sent you a friend request and message with ideas. I hope it helps

halejr23

Running

marathon64

There is stress like-I just need to rest and relax with a cup of tea. but then there is stress like-I'm overwhelmed and unhappy and need a way to break out of this rut I'm stuck in that is making me so stressed and unhappy. For the former-yoga, tea, restful things.

For the latter-more intense cardio activity

devilwhiterose

Bath and Body Works Eucalyptus and Spearmint Bubble Bath after the kidlets go to bed. No kidding. :drinker:

bambi5014

I agree and will try both ways. THANKS!!! :flowerforyou:

AmberLee2012

Try a yoga class if you can. Beginner's yoga. I have had terrible anxiety for years and I've developed a dizzy condition because of it (according to my neurologist). I've been dizzy non-stop with no breaks for the last 8 months with no end sight. When it comes to something like this, all those things I stressed about in the past (money, drama, friends, family, etc.) don't seem so important now. Walking, as someone else mentioned, is wonderful. I love being outside but living in Michigan puts a damper on that. Reading is good to if you like that. Lets you "escape" for a little bit.

DebraYvonne

honestly getting away from the stressors helps me. I have an 18 yo and 23 yo and both have given me a tremendous amount of "issues" in the last 4 years. Just being able to get away to walk in a bookstore and browse around, having a cup of coffee & being alone or sometimes talking to a good friend & just unloading. Exercise usually helps me too. Just getting away for a short time though helps me a lot and last but not least PRAYER!!

BinaryPulsar

I also have health problems from post traumatic stress and need to be diligent about managing my stress and not getting triggered into a bad downward spiral. And I do really well with it. I thought it was not a problem and I could just be stressed and keep going about my life, but it turns out that chronic stress can cause a number of actual health problems.

So, I just try to eliminate any unnecessary stress. I work on putting the really big stressful things aside and doing my best to not worry or think about it until I absolutely have to. I dance, exercise, walk in fresh air, play with my children, do yoga, meditate, drink tea, have good nutrition, I try my best to get good sleep (but don't always sleep well), read, spend time with my husband. I also avoid caffeine because for me it can really make it worse causing jittery anxiety. But, different people respond differently to caffeine. I can see for a lot of people it gives them energy.

It's always good to have a passion or passions in life to be productive, focused and enjoy.

p.s. I don't understand the stress generating type of people. The type of people that get all angry and stressed about completely unimportant things (maybe they are just dramatic). I am actually a very chill and calm person. I just have post traumatic stress disorder and can handle high levels of underlying stress, but it actually started causing health problems so I have no choice but to manage it better (and I am glad that I am).

kaypee65

The reality is that stress is your reaction to things you don't like, but cannot control. May-be you have some influence, but there are things we dislike that we all have to tolerate. For me right now I work in a team of three. My two peers want to advance and are willing to do anything they think will make them look good. It's tough, and I don't want to leave my job, so I have tto deal.

Here's how I cope. First, I give myself half an hour as soon as I come home to decompress. I get on the computer, read personal e-mails, play on Facebook, anything that suits me. Next, I go out with the dogs and get them their exercise. The run, chase their frisbees, and love every second. I find it engrossing enough that I stop thinking about work. I'm not sure what would be engrossing enough for you to help your mind move in a different direction, but I hope you find it.

At this point, I'm settled mentally and do my exercise, usually Just Dance. All of my exercise is xbox kinect games. I have so much fun that it feels less like exercise and more like playing. Then I'll prepare a nice healthy dinner. I find eating foods that I love which are also healthy makes a huge difference is simply feeling good.

Good luck. I was having some impulse control problems and decided to check in here and was so pleased to see your thread. Thinking about constructive solutions got my head back out of the icky place it was in.

alourdes_J

Spinning classes and walking around the mall helps me this time of the year because of the cold and snowy weather up here. Motivation can be hard sometimes especially this time of the year.

Erica_theRedhead

Bag of Doritos and a bottle of wine