Dealing with psychological challenges in weight loss

Charz612

Hi,
I am new to MFP and have lost weight in the past by calorie counting. The biggest issue for me is defeting negitive self talk and challenging psychological hurdles. I'm not sure if it's the same for everyone? I guess I am wondering if it is, and if so, how to best deal with and get support around all the psychological stuff that comes up in our relationships with food.

tehzephyrsong

I've found the best way to shut down the negative self-talk is to have someone else around to counter it. Have at least one person who (1) knows what you're doing, (2) understands your methods and goals, and (3) will praise you for your efforts and keep you positive. This person, or these people, should not be your food police; having both internal and external voices criticizing your decisions is only going to make you feel worse. Besides, you're a grown woman; you are capable of making good choices and feeding yourself. Instead, this person is supposed to be a wholly positive source of feedback. Focus on what you've accomplished, not your shortcomings. Focus on your non-scale victories. It's one thing to tell the Internet about how you fit into your old jeans or you got hit on at the DMV; having someone around in real life to share in your joy and celebrate the little things is quite different.

Note, though, that you don't want this person to lie to you; it's not that every choice you make is great and wonderful and you can do no wrong. If you're getting out of control, skipping workouts, and just generally not giving a *kitten*, it's also this person's job to pull you back on the wagon and encourage you to get back on track. The key is for them to do this without berating you. If you're anything like me, you do a fine job making yourself feel bad for slipping up; you don't need someone else yelling at you, too. Instead, they should reaffirm that you are capable of doing this. Someone who believes in your ability to accomplish the goal you've set for yourself is a powerful motivator, particularly in those moments when you have trouble believing that truth. So you went over a bit today; that's fine. You're going to trip a few times on this journey; this is reality, nobody is perfect. But if you're making an omelet and you accidentally drop an egg on the floor, do you then pick up the carton and dump the rest of the eggs on the floor, too? No, you pick up your mess and crack another egg. So it is with weight loss.

mltdown

^^^^ this I wonderful advice!!! Very well written. I also want to add when your feeling down after you have made a poor choice remember why you want this!!

Kadesha72

Something that has "clicked" for me this time around is the way I'm thinking of the actual food and the calories.... it sounds completely obvious and dumb.... but I refer to the calories as "points." Not like Weight Watchers...but like a video game... and it's a challenge to "win" by getting as close to that goal without going over.... and the exercise earns me more points....

also... food is good. But its really just about fuel for your body..... and in the past I've had trouble making myself drink all the water I need, and picking the RIGHT foods to eat... but this time its just fallen into place... I can have 100 calories of potato chips or 100 calories of.... carrots.... ya know? One will be delicious, but small and empty... I'll be starving again soon, not to mention I got nothing "good" out of those 100 calories... but the CARROTS... those could fuel some good things.

I dont' know if that helps at all... but I've been thinking about that alot lately, how much easier this time has been for me to stay within my limits....

altinker

What has been so helpful for me is that I sit next to somebody who used to be "chubby" and who lost 40 lbs and is in great shape. He inspires me and motivates me. I can talk to him about calories, food, fitness, and all kinds of topics. It's nice to have somebody along for the ride who has a common goal.

I make mistakes. Some days I eat a lot more than I should. I just tell myself that tomorrow is a new day. Maybe I didn't do so good today, but tomorrow will be better.

For me, it is lifestyle and muscle tone more than weight at this point. I have a sedentary lifestyle and sit at a desk. I want to be healthy. I have tried just cutting calories and just dieting and just working out, but not the two together. I talk to my coworker about how to do both and what worked for him. It has been helpful. We both still splurge. A couple of weeks ago, we went to Habit burger. I got a mushroom swiss burger (570 cals), and we split a chocolate malt so that neither of us would drink the whole thing. You have to plan the splurges, too.

Once a month, I crave kettle cooked chips. Instead of buying the 9 oz bag, I buy one or two of the 1.5 oz bags. I just tell myself that it is better to eat 300 or 600 calories rather than slaughtering a huge bag by myself. And, it's okay to do it now and then.

made2wonder

I dealt with a lot of negative self-talk for the past two years. "What good is it going to to? It will take forever to see any progress at all, and then I'm going to gain it all back anyway." This is based on the many diets I've been on before. But then I asked myself, "What good is this negative talk doing? Is it enhancing my life in any way? No."

I have been successful at weight loss before, so I know how to do it, and I can do it again. I figure that every day, every week, every year that I do have a healthy weight is one that protects my heart, my mind, and my body in general from disease and decline. And MFP is a marvelous place to do it, because we're surrounded by support and success-minded people.

Charz612

Thanks so much for all those comments, really appreciated.

I think some of the major things for me is about the way I think about food and how it makes me feel. I have a very deep (unhealthy) emotional connection with food.

For me, it's not too hard to lose weight, that's not the problem, for me the problem is the battle that goes on in my mind when I am unhappy, angry, sad, uncomfortable, anxious, catious etc.

I quit smoking some time ago and since then I have replaced smoking with eating to deal with emotional discomfort (sometimes even happy emotions). I realise that what I have done is just replace one thing with another because I never dealt with, or learned to deal with those times, emotions, situations in a healthy way.

Now I'm really ready to deal with it and determined not to do the same thing again!!! Just not sure how to go about working through the layers of emotional and psychological attachment.

levicrouch

One of the things that has prevented me in the past to lose weight was my pride. I thought to myself, "losing weight is such a simple thing, calories in calories out eat less calories than you need and *magically* the weight falls off". I think what finally got me on a track to losing weight was professional help. I enrolled in a Weight Management program with my medical group and i eventually lost weight.

For me, I work in IT and we used to have users try at least 3 things. (is it plugged in?, did you change your password?, is Caps lock on?) If one of those 3 things didn't fix the problem then it was time to call tech support have a deeper look.

I guess the moral of the story is that if you have already tried helping yourself, reached out to friends and family, and you still don't feel that you are progressing in a positive way; it may be time to seek professional help.

Once you have reached out, be sure to give it a real chance at success. It may be difficult to do, but you may find yourself over a hump and on your way to feeling better.

Kadesha72

For me, it's not too hard to lose weight, that's not the problem, for me the problem is the battle that goes on in my mind when I am unhappy, angry, sad, uncomfortable, anxious, catious etc.

I think emotional eating is one of the HARDEST things to overcome!! I don't so much get angry and want to eat... I was never that girl that ate an entire tub of ice cream... but I know if I don't feel good, I want what I want, the end. I know it will make me feel better. (even if it doesn't).... but when my brain tries to convince me I NEED to eat a ginormous bag of Original Lays Potato chips because my headache "could" be caused by lack of chips... I then reason with myself... I could totally eat those chips, but then how am I going to feel? Is it worth knowing later that I did that? I gave in, I fell off the wagon, or something along those lines.

That doesn't always work, and another thing you MUST remember... you can sometimes go ahead, eat the chips... but don't eat the 15oz bag!! Either buy a small snack size OR (what I do) is put a small amount of chips in a small bowl, leave the bag in the kitchen... cause carrying around the bag makes it tooooooo tempting. And once I eat the small bowl full, then I know I'm done, my craving is fixed, and I'm still clear of major guilt and disappointment in myself later.

And when you feel really stressed or upset, maybe instead of picking up food, take a walk instead... or punch a body bag... or something physical, instead of eating your emotions. (i've been campaigning for a body bag at work for years... no one seems to think its a good idea but me...LOL)

GomesDavid

this toppic was discussed a month ago i think in some other thread chk it out here http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/488431-mental-hurdles