HUGE Binge Episode; Support/Motivation?

Mandy_SD

For me, it's about finding enough worth in my existence, to avoid these triggers, and stop being self-destructive via food.


This sentence really hit home for me. I too struggle with binging and purging. For a very long time it was my dirty little secret. With the support of family and friends I am recovering. I have learned that no one is perfect and we all have our demons. Thank you for sharing, you are not alone

PorcelainDissonance

wanted to also say that most people who have not been through it or have not been through any form of addiction usually do not understand the power of the binge. most people say "oh just don't do that" or "have some willpower" and it makes it very hard! or they will say "well just have one" when i know i can't! we just have to figure out what works for us individually. some people do great with moderation and it helps them not binge to have these things. but for me it does not usually work that way. i know i have a sugar addiction.

Are you saying that just because I'm not, nor ever have been, a binge eater, I cannot understand the psychological issues behind these behaviors? So, because I'm not an alcoholic or a drug user, but my brothers are, I can't understand what they are going through and have no right to offer them advice, either? I disagree. And for the record, as a teacher, I am required to look at others' situations and, if need be, report on them. I have never been abused, but I am trained to recognize abused children, neglected children, at risk children. It is my legal and moral obligation to do so.

I don't understand the pain of binge eating, but I consider myself competent enough to recognize the signs of someone who needs therapeutic help for their (insert issue here). Unless we openly dialogue with others about our problems, be they personal or second-source problems, NOTHING will change. We are each other's support system, whether we're personally going through it or not. That's how I see it.

I think that all addictions are the same, in the basis of their existence. I believe that we all search for something to take the pain away, and for some addictions/compulsive-anxiety reducing behaviors is what works. Now, that being said, having the same basis does not imply the same experience. Somebody experiencing an addiction to alcohol cannot in any way truly comprehend what it's like, to experience an addiction to food. They can comprehend the overall struggle with addiction, but every maladaptive and destructive coping mechanism (while having the same roots) is still very different.

So, I agree with the original comment, in which you are responding to. I believe that you cannot comprehend the psychological experience, of somebody who is a binge eater, unless you are one. I think that you can read a book or report on binge eating and know the psychological facts, but I do not believe that you can comprehend the experience it's self, without having it.

I STRONGLY disagree with the fact that you feel competent, in determine whether or not somebody needs therapeutic support. While you may be a teacher who is required to report suspected abuse/neglect, you are mandated to report it to somebody who can treat these problems, and you yourself are not required to treat the child. Like you said in your comment, you are trained to recognize the signs, not to give the child your therapeutic opinion, since you are not licensed and trained to do such. Quite frankly, you are not trained in these sorts of things, nor do you have personal experience, so your comments (while appreciated) were quite oppressive in nature.

I am actually a trained volunteer, in dealing with domestic violence and sexual assault situations, as well as a pre-medical psychology major. So, I'm trained to deal with DV/SA situations, and I have a pretty hefty knowledge bank about psychology and medicine. However, when I respond to a hospital for a sexual assault, do you see me offering the nurse advice on how to perform the rape kit while I am holding the survivor's hand? Do you see me attempting to do the nurse's job for her, taking the tools from her hands with the justification of having advocacy training and being a pre-med student? No. That is because, even if I have the correct knowledge, I don't have the proper training or licensing.

Long story short, you are in no position to be advising people, on anything concerning therapy. You can encourage somebody to see a therapist as a suggestion in leading them in the direction of somebody who can help them, but having no experience and no professional training, you have no justification in saying such things. You can see red flags, but you are not justified in determining whether or not somebody needs therapeutic support. Please, stop over-stepping your boundaries and assuming that you know about these things, when it's obvious that you don't (persona, or professionally).

You are not trained to deal with eating disorders, nor are you speaking from personal experience. While your support is much appreciated, like I mentioned above, it's oppressive in nature when people whom have no personal knowledge or experience with eating disorders/their treatment start making these sorts of claims and assumptions.

I never said I was a therapist. Did I say I was? And regardless of your personal opinion/response, I WILL continue to speak my mind and let people know that they could benefit from professional help. So, thank you for your very curt, very opinionated, almost caustic sounding response. But, it won't change MY attitude or MY desire to help others.

I never said that you were claiming to be a therapist. I said that not being licensed to provide therapeutic suggestions yet still insisting on providing them to people in crisis/need of support is more often than not damaging, illegal (since you brought up your obligations to do these things in a classroom setting), and counterproductive.

I never said that you couldn't speak your mind; after all, I am very big on the 'freedom of speech'. However, I do have a problem when your words are oppressive, and possibly damaging in nature. If you are insisting to utilize your rights in such ways, you cannot be upset when others utilize theirs as well. I never said that you should change your attitude or desire to help others either. If you read what I wrote, you would see that I find your desire to help other amazing I merely suggested that you recognize your boundaries, and the extents of your ability to help others, since you seem to be attempting to overstep them. By overstepping your boundaries concerning abilities, you are not helping others. You are harming them.

I was not trying to be cruel, just like you insist on having your opinions and whatnot, I can insist on expressing mine. If you are so riled up by people debating perspectives and viewpoints in a respectful and mature manner, perhaps you should double think posting things online. Making posts online like this means you are opening yourself up to debate, opposing view points, etc.

newhabit

wanted to also say that most people who have not been through it or have not been through any form of addiction usually do not understand the power of the binge. most people say "oh just don't do that" or "have some willpower" and it makes it very hard! or they will say "well just have one" when i know i can't! we just have to figure out what works for us individually. some people do great with moderation and it helps them not binge to have these things. but for me it does not usually work that way. i know i have a sugar addiction.

Are you saying that just because I'm not, nor ever have been, a binge eater, I cannot understand the psychological issues behind these behaviors? So, because I'm not an alcoholic or a drug user, but my brothers are, I can't understand what they are going through and have no right to offer them advice, either? I disagree. And for the record, as a teacher, I am required to look at others' situations and, if need be, report on them. I have never been abused, but I am trained to recognize abused children, neglected children, at risk children. It is my legal and moral obligation to do so.

I don't understand the pain of binge eating, but I consider myself competent enough to recognize the signs of someone who needs therapeutic help for their (insert issue here). Unless we openly dialogue with others about our problems, be they personal or second-source problems, NOTHING will change. We are each other's support system, whether we're personally going through it or not. That's how I see it.

sounds like you do have experience with addictions, so therefore you do understand it. i'm not talking about you then. i'm talking about those who write it off as lack of willpower and say snarky things. a lot of those on the forums. i think that's why a lot of groups have sprung up related to binge eating, because we know we best understand it because we've been through it. it's easy for a person who doesn't have experience with addiction to just say to stop it. but you're right. that is why help is needed. people can understand and can help.

determined_erin

What happened is something that cannot be undone, but now you can work on changing. I've noticed if I eat healthy foods like veggies and fruits, I don't really crave much else. However, I made a mistake of eating a Special K bar a few days ago. Those things have so much sugar and are addicting. It set me up for wanting more and more food. So, what I'm saying is, try to eat foods without sugar so that you don't have a huge craving for more and more food.

kaotik26

You said you had anxiety over weighing yourself. I would say first step is to get rid of those scales. Work first on being healthy and taking control, without the weight loss part. As you become more comfortable with your eating and start feeling better then maybe weigh in again. I have never binged but I have had issues with anxiety and depression and emotional eating and the first step I took was eliminating the things that set it off. When I had control of that it made the rest quite a bit easier.

Jxnsmma

I honestly think that you have a very unhealthy relationship with food and that you need to talk to someone who specializes in that field to learn to deal with this. Find a good councellor to talk to that deals with emotional eating and binging and get some theraputic support behind you for this. I binge eat too, but not quite to this degree. Hugs!

Maddalen101

Yes, of course, support!

You clearly understand that your binge came from your emotional state, not from hunger, and that is a great first step.
A key for you, going forward, will be growing into awareness of what those binge-triggering emotions feel like (as well as the triggers for them), so that you can reach out for emotional support instead of reaching for food in order to squelch those feelings. That's going to be very hard emotional work, but many of us have gone there, and I know you are equal to the task.

If you can't afford professional help, see if there is an Overeaters Anonymous meeting in the area where you live, please think about checking it out, or consider online meetings (available via the OA website). They don't cost anything to attend (but live meetings do ask for a nominal financial donation at the end). Also, see if your school has a health service that provides psychological counseling. If you're a full-time student, it's covered by your fees. Take advantage of it!

Bottom line: being able to connect with someone who understands you and will NOT be judgmental when you are struggling with weight, bingeing, and all the emotions that get stirred up, will help you greatly.

mazzasweet

I'm a binger too... I'm here for you sweetie. Everything is going to be okay... promise. We just take things one day at a time. I'm here if you want a friend! xoxo

wormy80

I don't really have much advice because I am on this website trying to figure out how to fight my own battle right along with you. However, I do want you to know that I hear you and feel your pain and am sorry you are hurting.

PorcelainDissonance

Thank you everybody for your support and positive encouragement, I really appreciate it! ^.^

moozak

Hi porcelain dissonance!
I love your style. An insightful strong woman who knows when to put out a hand to find others who can empathise. Reading your last couple of posts I was really impressed with your eloquence. Apart from that you remind me so much of me. I used to work as a sexual assault counsellor too and found the strength of those clients to be amazing. Most of my clients were adults who had experienced abuse as children. It was such an honour to assist them to find their place in the world again and go on to blossom. But i was on call to attend ER for victim support. Kudos to you for volunteering to sit with victims as they have the rape kit administered. I assume you realise that not every woman could stand to do that. You make a difference o those woman who you sit with.

Now on to the bingeing. Yes it has been in my history too. At one stage last year I felt like I was trying to kill myself slowly with over feeding. I was terrified I couldn't stop, and terrified that I had to. You are so right! It's not about knowledge, we all know what we are supposed to do. I don't have any answers for you, it is not my place to do so. But I do hope that you know that you matter, and the world would be a darker place without you.

Good luck in your studies and if you would like to, you are invited to get in touch with me for any reason.

All the best,
Kaz

paperiniko

Interesting thread, I have often wondered how and why a binge is triggered. I know that in the last year I have been much better equipped to manage them because I have adopted a new frame of mind that allowed me to get rid of most of the sense if guilt and hopelessness following a binge episode.

When it happens I put that in perspective and most importantly of all I journal every single food I eat or drink, it still happens that I give in to sugar cravings and I eat over 5-6000 kcal in a day but it never happens any more that I do it without registering on my journal keeping track of my overall deficit, This helps in two different ways, first and foremost it allows me to "budget" the binge compensating over the next few days or weeks and secondly does prevent me from running to the scale generating further anxiety and possibly a vicious cycle. I actually do not even weigh on the scale any more at fixed intervals but only whenever I hit a fixed energy deficit vs the previous weigh in, generally 30000Kcal. This way it is very unlikely to see irrelevant weight fluctuations and I only use the scale every few weeks.

In your case I understand where you are coming from and it seems to me that you actually have a very good grasp over the problem and its roots, it looks like you are quite mature and I am sure you have it in you the resources to manage it. The only tip I can give is to accept the fact that there will be some days in which you will need to eat more and do it without running to scale right after it. Just take these days as an holiday from your normal regime and journal everything you eat, one or two days at 6000 kcal every few weeks do not make a big difference if you then eat sensibly most of the other days, they can actually even be positive because they release some pressure, just drop the guilt and embrace the progress you have made managing your food habits since you are now in a much better place than you used to be when you grew up with unhealthy habits.

painauxraisin

bump

PorcelainDissonance

Interesting thread, I have often wondered how and why a binge is triggered. I know that in the last year I have been much better equipped to manage them because I have adopted a new frame of mind that allowed me to get rid of most of the sense if guilt and hopelessness following a binge episode.

When it happens I put that in perspective and most importantly of all I journal every single food I eat or drink, it still happens that I give in to sugar cravings and I eat over 5-6000 kcal in a day but it never happens any more that I do it without registering on my journal keeping track of my overall deficit, This helps in two different ways, first and foremost it allows me to "budget" the binge compensating over the next few days or weeks and secondly does prevent me from running to the scale generating further anxiety and possibly a vicious cycle. I actually do not even weigh on the scale any more at fixed intervals but only whenever I hit a fixed energy deficit vs the previous weigh in, generally 30000Kcal. This way it is very unlikely to see irrelevant weight fluctuations and I only use the scale every few weeks.

In your case I understand where you are coming from and it seems to me that you actually have a very good grasp over the problem and its roots, it looks like you are quite mature and I am sure you have it in you the resources to manage it. The only tip I can give is to accept the fact that there will be some days in which you will need to eat more and do it without running to scale right after it. Just take these days as an holiday from your normal regime and journal everything you eat, one or two days at 6000 kcal every few weeks do not make a big difference if you then eat sensibly most of the other days, they can actually even be positive because they release some pressure, just drop the guilt and embrace the progress you have made managing your food habits since you are now in a much better place than you used to be when you grew up with unhealthy habits.

Ugh, people like you really keep me sane sometimes, I swear! See, I know all of the things that you mention about taking breaks and being more understanding with myself, but the problem is when I'm in that mind state, I don't truly believe them. I think there is a distinction between knowing something/having knowledge about something, and believing it.

So, thank you so much for your kind words and support. Sometimes I really need people to just reinforce the things that I've come to learn, yet question due to my disorder(s). :') I hope you're doing well yourself!

jessicaashleighspence

ive been having this problem since just before christmas, i start off the day really well and stick to my diet but then at night i can consume 3 days worth of calories within an hour and feel like i cant control it so i know how you feel! i find that if i go to the gym it stops me feeling the need to binge as i dont want to ruin my hardwork!