Advice needed, please help!

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alexroet
alexroet Posts: 65 Member
in Introduce Yourself
Pretty much my whole family is overweight. I've recently lost 20+ lb and am just getting to a normal weight. I know how great MFP is. the problem is, my bother. He's not even 30, but he's probably 300lb. He needs to lose weight. But it has to come from him. i can't make him do it. Does anyone have any suggestions? How can I help him? i was going to send him links to some success stories here... maybe seeing that other people LIKE HIM have had success will be helpful. he's lost bits of weight here and there in the past, but he doesn't stick to it.

Where would you start? I don't want to nag him, I just want to be supportive.... but he's GOT to make some changes.

Replies

  • sozisfitnow
    sozisfitnow Posts: 209 Member
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    I would definitely stop going on about it and let him do it when hes good and ready!
    We each have times of denial in life about various subjects not just weight! Then majically the timing
    is right and we have the spirit to sort a problem out.
  • Angie1366
    Angie1366 Posts: 85
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    If he doesn't want to do it - then I would think anything you do will be seen as nagging.... Like you say he has to want to lose weight. You should get on with your own MFP, and with hope he will see you slimming down and may change his ways - he may ask your advice - but you have to wait until he is ready.

    OR

    Tell him your concerns... ie for his health, his life span, or anything else that you feel. If he ignores you - look at my first paragraph!
  • ChrisLindsay9
    ChrisLindsay9 Posts: 837 Member
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    Do you think he would be interested in seeing a personal trainer at a gym? Sometimes you can get a free consultation, and then pre-pay for a certain number of classes up front at a discounted price? If cardio doesn't appeal to him, then suggest weight training which burns body fat and builds muscle at the same time.
  • Debbs83
    Debbs83 Posts: 39 Member
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    Lead by example! Don't gloat, but tell him how much more energy you have, etc. and maybe he'll want to join in.
  • marieyoung07
    marieyoung07 Posts: 23 Member
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    Pretty much my whole family is overweight. I've recently lost 20+ lb and am just getting to a normal weight. I know how great MFP is. the problem is, my bother. He's not even 30, but he's probably 300lb. He needs to lose weight. But it has to come from him. i can't make him do it. Does anyone have any suggestions? How can I help him? i was going to send him links to some success stories here... maybe seeing that other people LIKE HIM have had success will be helpful. he's lost bits of weight here and there in the past, but he doesn't stick to it.

    Where would you start? I don't want to nag him, I just want to be supportive.... but he's GOT to make some changes.
  • zagrath769
    zagrath769 Posts: 44 Member
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    yes I agree, lead by example. Very well put. Many years ago I was on Weight Watchers and lost 50 pounds in 6 months (gained it back however) and my loss encouraged my husband to watch what he ate. Now we are both overweight again. I'm hoping that this time around I will be an encouragement to him as well. I don't gloat or tell him what he should or shouldn't put in his mouth, but I'm hoping he'll be encouraged by results.
  • _chiaroscuro
    _chiaroscuro Posts: 1,340 Member
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    Hi Alex,

    I would tell him that when he is ready, he can come to you and you're all in to give him a hand up in whatever way he needs. This offer has no expiration date, but this will be the only time you mention it until HE brings it up again. Then, when he decides to approach you, he will already have a victory under his belt for taking action on his own behalf. This is a good place to begin, with respect and empowerment.
  • marieyoung07
    marieyoung07 Posts: 23 Member
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    Have tried talking to his dr about your specific concerns then having his doc talk to him?
    But I def would not nag him.
    Food addictions are just like any other -no matter what any one else says-
    you have to want to help yourself FIRST!!!
    Then try to find a way to start and stay motivated
    Just let him know that you love him
    you have his best interest at heart
    and you will be there for him when HE is ready to start!
  • KenosFeoh
    KenosFeoh Posts: 1,837 Member
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    I've got a similar problem, except it's my daughter. I know that she knows she needs to do something. She has gained weight since I bought her wedding dress. There's nothing I could say that she doesn't know.

    I think I'm going to take the lead by example suggestion. If, and only if, she brings it up, I'll tell her what I'm doing.
  • KBM51
    KBM51 Posts: 8
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    You know, whether he admits it or not, he is not happy with his weight. I am 61 and have tried every diet you can think of and resisted portion control and counting calories all my life. Probably if it were not for the ease of entering what you eat with Myfitnesspal.com i would not have kept a log for four months like I have on this site. I began September 21, 2012, and have gone from 299 to 240 with no exercise other than daily activity and i sit at a desk most of day. Now that i have gotten to where I am I feel more like entering into an exercise routine that will help bring my weight down further.
    You just have to show by example what you are accomplishing, be supportive, and hope that he tries to start on his own because it is about the rest of his life. Hopefully he can avoid the cholesterol, triglyceride, blood pressure and type II diabetes that i combat and hope to be reversing. As i get closer to a normal weight it may not be noticeable to others because it is where one should be but to me it is so invigorating to be dropping pants sizes and feeling less restricted in movement. Good luck to you and him and support each other, it is hard at times but very rewarding in so many ways.
  • Onaughmae
    Onaughmae Posts: 873 Member
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    Just be a good example. Believe me, he knows he needs to lose weight. Telling him what he needs to do wont make it happen. If he sees you being healthy and happy he may start to believe that he can do it also :)
  • SDHudgins1976
    SDHudgins1976 Posts: 140
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    Just show him you care.
    Lead by example
    Invite him to go on a walk with you... Let him know you're there to help be a support network for him. (My husband and kids being willing to go on a walk with me makes all the difference in the world!)

    When you're very large it can be very daunting, and you can feel VERY alone even when you're not. Just knowing there's some one that's gonna support you even when you mess up helps a lot.
  • lasmit4477
    lasmit4477 Posts: 308 Member
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    People will not change what they do not acknowledge! Just be supportive if and when he decides to make a lifestyle change.

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