How to convince a crazy dieter.

Mikkimeow

So, my SO and I are due to have a baby in late February. (I'm the pregnant one). Before I became pregnant, we had started a pact to lose a total of 150 lbs together. The problem is, he lost about 50 pounds a couple years ago taking thermogenics, doing Insanity twice a day, and having very little to eat. Probably less than 1,000 calories a day. He lost the 50 in three months, and had to stop because he was having heart issues. (Go figure) Of course he has gained all the weight back that he has lost, and another 30 or so added on.

We have started eating healthier since I have gotten pregnant, but he hates vegetables and most fruits. Green beans and corn are the only two veggies have ever seen him consume. I have explained to him that I want our weight loss to be a lifestyle change, and we should do it in a healthy and moderate manner. He disagrees, saying he would rather lose the weight fast, then switch to a healthy lifestyle. He is very stubborn, and I don't know how to convince him otherwise. It is difficult to eat healthy and exercise around him, and watch him basically starve and push himself beyond normal limits.

I want to show him that there is a better way, that he can eat more and yes, weigh less. That it doesn't matter how fast he gets the weight off, it is going to come back as soon as he starts eating normally. He doesn't understand or really want to hear it, because frankly, until I joined MFP last year I thought the same things as he did. He is skeptical of everything health wise that I say to him because I am still large. He sees me eat large amounts of fruits and vegetables, and will comment on how much I am eating, not the fact that I am taking in more nutritionally and less calories. How do you show someone how completely wrong they are without sounding like you are preaching? I want him to be my partner in my weight loss journey, but I need him to do it in a healthy way.

cmriverside

Yeah. Good luck with that. Just keep setting a good example. The more you talk at him about it, the less likely he'll be to listen.

cwolfman13

All you can do is be an example...some people come around and others never get that sustained weight control involves a change of lifestyle or at minimum, a pretty good overhaul.

alaskaang

The only convincing is by example. He's going to do what he's going to do regardless. Just keep at what you are doing and hopefully he will come around. Trying to convince him likely won't work. Eating healthy for your child is the best thing that you can do, both now and if/when breastfeeding. If you are the one doing the cooking, making subtle changes over time might help him transition. If green beans are the only veggie he likes (corn is actually a grain), serve them often, better than nothing.

WBB55

When I had to cook for myself and a picky/unhealthy eater, I managed to not end up cooking two meals by doing things like making english muffin pizzas, where we both could have whatever toppings we wanted. Yes, mine didn't have cheese and he would (unconsciously) be undermining my journey by saying "Yuck. NO CHEESE?!? How can you stand it?" Or making spagetti sauce, then in one pot make regular noodles, and in another make myself some zucchini or sweet potato "noodles." He'd get a plate of all wheat noodles, and mine would be half vegie "noodles" and half "real" noodles. "Yuck, NO PARMESEAN CHEESE? Don't you want any cheesy garlic bread?" he'd say. I'd just shrug and say it's how I want it.

Just SHOW him the healthy way. Don't tell him about it or nag. Just do it. He can choose for himself if he follows your good example.

celebrity328

I kind of struggled at first with my husband when I found out I had a gluten allergy. He would have "his" food and I would have mine! he would expect me to make him a totally different meal I cut that out real fast! It just got to the point I had to explain to him that I am not spending 2 hours in the kitchen everyday because you can eat gluten and I cant.

Slowly I brought things into our diet over time and he hasnt put up much of a fight. If he wants something I cant eat, he makes it now. I just realized the more I yelled at him about his eating habits the worse he became, I leave him alone now and hes doing better then ever !

Most days I cant get him to go to the gym with me but I just keep plugging away doing what I do in hopes he will be motivated by something I am doing!

Itzli

I kind of struggled at first with my husband when I found out I had a gluten allergy. He would have "his" food and I would have mine! he would expect me to make him a totally different meal I cut that out real fast! It just got to the point I had to explain to him that I am not spending 2 hours in the kitchen everyday because you can eat gluten and I cant.

Slowly I brought things into our diet over time and he hasnt put up much of a fight. If he wants something I cant eat, he makes it now. I just realized the more I yelled at him about his eating habits the worse he became, I leave him alone now and hes doing better then ever !

Most days I cant get him to go to the gym with me but I just keep plugging away doing what I do in hopes he will be motivated by something I am doing!

Sound advise... I started doing this at home too..