Depression and Weight Loss

DETERMINED2Drop

How can I drop weight, much needed weight while being sad and depressed?

I'm not medication, but sometimes I stay in bed all day and eat... that's all I do. Nothing has helped, no Doctors... nothing!

I have no motivation.


I had a baby a year ago and gave her away for adoption and that's killing me inside...

I need to drop this weight, but can't seem to get out of bed.

DETERMINED2Drop

How can I drop weight, much needed weight while being sad and depressed?

I'm not medication, but sometimes I stay in bed all day and eat... that's all I do. Nothing has helped, no Doctors... nothing!

I have no motivation.


I had a baby a year ago and gave her away for adoption and that's killing me inside...

I need to drop this weight, but can't seem to get out of bed.

greysweatshirt

Have you ever thought about seeing a therapist? Maybe just having someone to talk to would help you out.

DETERMINED2Drop

I do see a therapist and honestly talking everything out makes me more sad and makes me realize all the bad things that are really going on in life.

I miss my Baby Girl, but I do get pictures of her every month... and I'm young. My Boyfriend and I knew we couldn't afford or give her the best life. I'm like a secret Mommy...

I guess it's even harder because my Parents don't even know I had a child, I had to keep it from them because they ARE soooooo religious and would have disowned me which would of been so much harder.

alaskagal

Honey, you would be best off seeing a licensed counselor to help you through this period of grief and transition. A full medical work up by a doctor would also be beneficial. I suffered with severe depression after giving birth (not the two or three week kind of depression but for months afterwards). Depression is nothing to mess around with. Please seek qualified help....

Best of luck to you!
:flowerforyou:

DETERMINED2Drop

I do have help. Thank you...

I have been to intense treatment for my depression to an attempt to kill myself, drug problems, and cutting issues... : (

I got over the truly hard issues, but still struggle with sadness...

I have great friends who listen, a therapist at home, at my college, an amazing supportive boyfriend, great sisters who listen and love me... but I am still unhappy. And I know that's because of my weight and because I miss my baby. : (

pam0206

Hi,
I think it's time to see your doctor again and tell him/her how you're feeling. I can't imagine how broken hearted you are, but my heart does go out to you for making a very difficult decision. Perhaps with the right medication/counseling you will feel more like counting your calories and exercising. Best of luck. :flowerforyou:

weightlossinprogress

Hi there!!1

You gotta stay strong and find that little flame inside of you and go grab it! You have gone through so much in your younge adult life and I'm sure there will be more turbulations to follow.

I do know that I have soooo much respect for you! It take a big person to go through a pregnancy at such a younge age, however an even bigger person to realize that you would not be able to provide/not ready to raise this child.

You say that your parents are religious - can/do you have any contacts at your church to speak to a priest/minister?

God bless you!

Heatmiser

Determined2Drop,

I can't imagine what you are going through but I give you tons of credit for being so honest and open with your problems. You need think and take things in very small steps. Set personal goals for yourself everyday. Tomorrow, set a small goal of maybe exercising just 10 mins. and the next day set a new goal. I think you are overwhelming yourself. You are obviously a strong person and you need to remind yourself of that. If you did have your daughter with you now, you would want to be a good example for her, well that shouldn't change because you don't have her. Be the best secret Mommy you can be by taking care of yourself. It sounds like you have very good people in your life to support you. Maybe one of them could be your workout partner. Remember, whatever you do, just take a small step in the right direction. We are here for you. Good luck and stay strong.

wriglucy

Wow...you are such a strong person, even though you are feeling down. Honestly, I read one of your posts about therapists making you feel sad and depressed. I went to one for awhile...honestly, I'll never go back. I know it was supposed to help, but seriously, it made me SOOO depressed. So, I understand you on that one...granted, we went for different things, but...I understand that they suck at times. I know they can help...but mine, made me worse. Good luck chica...if you need anything, we're all here for you!

debuckl

Have you ever heard of EMDR? I would google it and see if you'd like to give it a shot. It is therapy and you need to see someone with the proper credentials for it specifically. The great thing about it is there is very little talk therapy. The basic idea is to move negative memories from the "flight or fight" part of your brain to the more rational part. My mother in law practices it and I've done it before. It works!

Good Luck:flowerforyou:

DETERMINED2Drop

Thank you for all the kind words and advice. I was worried people would judge me about giving up my baby for adoption because some people have... but it was such an amazing choice. I gave my girl to a wonderful family my boyfriend and I picked out, they couldn't have children, they keep us in touch with her and are very open to the adoption process with her... so we are apart of her life too!! I'm a college student and a mommy on the side, hehe. : ) I love it and I know I couldn't have given her a great life...

Thanks for not judging me.

Eve23

Welcome. You know I think you are awesome. It takes a brave mother to give her child a better life. I know it is incredibly difficult at times but as a sister of two that were adopted to other families I can honestly say they were given a chance that I did not have. I am not sad about that I was given other opportunities. My husband was adopted also. Though he wouldn't mind meeting his biological parents that he will always have feeling for his parents that raised him are extremely important to him.

:flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou:

You can do this and we are very glad you are here

DETERMINED2Drop

Awww. thank you! I have contact with my child at least monthly and one day my Boyfriend and I will see her again! : ) I can't wait, she's soo beautiful.

FatDancer

God Bless you Honey! I'm so sorry for your sadness...you know it is not a sin to give a child up for adoption...you have given new life and a new future to some childless couple...forgive yourself...work on yourself like you want to...bust a move and get started...I'm sure God will Bless you with children in your future...I think you have good karma, you just have to forgive yourself and learn how to look at the positive!

wobblybum

You are a very strong, courageous woman and you have done a very kind selfless thing that not enough people do! Stay strong and don't ever put yourself down!!

Healthier_Me

You are soooo inspiring!
You did a great thing and thought of that baby and knew you had to give her the best life... that's why you gave her to a wonderful family that can care for her. And, they are willing to have you & your BF to be part of her life... that's awesome!
You are doing good for yourself by going to college... you are bettering yourself, not only for you, but for your future family. Be proud of yourself and things you do and have done!.... take that feeling and carry it around with you.. stand proud... :bigsmile:

~Joanna:flowerforyou:

proudmama0118

I think that you are an amazing person. To make that choice to have your daughter and give here the chance to have a great life through adoption is amazing. Too many people would choose to not even go through with the pregnancy given the difficult situation you were in. I admire your love for your daughter that you gave her a chance at life! I wish everyone would do the same. I am so happy for you that you at least still get to be a part of her life. She is very lucky to have 2 great mommy's!!!

Best wishes in your weight loss journey. We are here for you!! :flowerforyou:

Kathy

maestrachistosa

Hi there,
I have gone through depression several times over the past 10-15 years. At first, I was reluctant to use medication and just wanted to do the therapy part. However, I reached a point where I simply was not progressing. You may want to consider a combination of medication and therapy. For me, that has been the most effective treatment. But, believe me, I understand all too well about wanting to stay in bed all day, and how difficult it is to think about getting up, let alone exercise. It truly is a vicious cycle...you feel depressed because of your situation, you know people say exercise is beneficial in terms of brain chemistry and weight loss...yet you can't seem to do it...which then makes you feel depressed. Depression is something that I would not wish on my worst enemy, so hang in there and know that there are many people and treatments out there to help. So, if something isn't working for you, you should consider some of the alternatives.

MontanaGirl

Hi - I have been in your shoes. I, unfortunately gained 100 lbs in 1 year during the depression because I wasn't even together enough to deal with that. I placed my baby boy for adoption in 1991. It will get better, but you need to focus on taking care of yourself. Please, please get help. I nearly died before I got the help I needed. I went off a 100 foot cliff trying to end my pain. I truely understand. Get meds - it's not a sin or a crime. Maybe talk to your parents - mine are super religious too and they came around. Talk to them with your counselor or a pastor or minister there with you. If they disown you, at least you were honest with them and didn't harbor such a painful secret. You didn't have an abortion - they will appreciate that I'm sure. Please get help - you need to be around for your baby even if you are a "secret parent". You never know when you will be needed. Bless you for giving her life and having the courage and strength to give her a better life than you could provide.

DETERMINED2Drop

I don't know if I want to forgive myself... ya know? I feel like what I did was right so I have nothing to forgive, does that make sense?

DETERMINED2Drop

Hi - I have been in your shoes. I, unfortunately gained 100 lbs in 1 year during the depression because I wasn't even together enough to deal with that. I placed my baby boy for adoption in 1991. It will get better, but you need to focus on taking care of yourself. Please, please get help. I nearly died before I got the help I needed. I went off a 100 foot cliff trying to end my pain. I truely understand. Get meds - it's not a sin or a crime. Maybe talk to your parents - mine are super religious too and they came around. Talk to them with your counselor or a pastor or minister there with you. If they disown you, at least you were honest with them and didn't harbor such a painful secret. You didn't have an abortion - they will appreciate that I'm sure. Please get help - you need to be around for your baby even if you are a "secret parent". You never know when you will be needed. Bless you for giving her life and having the courage and strength to give her a better life than you could provide.

I'm on medication everyone and going through therapy. : ) I have been through it all... drugs, sex addiction, alcohol abuse, trying to kill myself, cutting, rape... everything and I have had plenty of interventions and drugs! Haha.

And even though I'm not medication and seeing a therapist, it's still hard to go each day with out my child... : (

That was my question: It's hard to get out of bed because I'm always missing her.

FatDancer

I don't know if I want to forgive myself... ya know? I feel like what I did was right so I have nothing to forgive, does that make sense?

You're right Honey...I understand now that your sadness comes from missing her...I know you know you did the right thing...sure hope your depression passes...there is always hope for the future!

MontanaGirl

Hi - I have been in your shoes. I, unfortunately gained 100 lbs in 1 year during the depression because I wasn't even together enough to deal with that. I placed my baby boy for adoption in 1991. It will get better, but you need to focus on taking care of yourself. Please, please get help. I nearly died before I got the help I needed. I went off a 100 foot cliff trying to end my pain. I truely understand. Get meds - it's not a sin or a crime. Maybe talk to your parents - mine are super religious too and they came around. Talk to them with your counselor or a pastor or minister there with you. If they disown you, at least you were honest with them and didn't harbor such a painful secret. You didn't have an abortion - they will appreciate that I'm sure. Please get help - you need to be around for your baby even if you are a "secret parent". You never know when you will be needed. Bless you for giving her life and having the courage and strength to give her a better life than you could provide.

I'm on medication everyone and going through therapy. : ) I have been through it all... drugs, sex addiction, alcohol abuse, trying to kill myself, cutting, rape... everything and I have had plenty of interventions and drugs! Haha.

And even though I'm not medication and seeing a therapist, it's still hard to go each day with out my child... : (

That was my question: It's hard to get out of bed because I'm always missing her.

Yep - even 18 years later I still thought about my son and missed him and loved him. Unfortunately, last summer he died after a skateboarding accident at 18 years old. Kind of got to relive the pain all over again, ya know. If you have an open adoption, make sure you keep in contact and visit and send cards, pressies, etc. That helps a lot - even though it will be incredibly hard. Really, it's just a time thing. It does get easier - slowly over time. Keep doing what you're doing to get healthy, emotionally, spiritually and physically. When you get way depressed, turn to friends or therapists not drugs, sex and rock 'n roll (sorry . . . couldn't help myself :happy: ) And remind yourself that you did an awesome thing for your daughter. You gave her 2 gifts that no one else could - life and a chance to have a better life than you could give her. That is a wonderful and precious thing you did. Remind yourself that you are strong and courageous. You did a wonderful thing for your daughter and you will be blessed for it - even through the pain.

Rosie31056

I know you said your parents are very religious and you didn't feel like you could confide in them, but I'm gald you could confide in others. I nwouldn't call myuself "religious" but I do have a personal relationship with Jesus and I know that God forgives anything that we ask Him to. As hard as it might seem to be, you have to forgive yourself. We all do things that we feel are so terrible and some of us suffer from depression, but you can always depend on God. You did an incredibly wonderful and loving thing when you gave your daughter to a family who could better care for her. It was the unselfish act of a mother who loves her child. You are very blessed to still have contact with her. Try to look at all the positives in your life and remember that God will give you peace and strength. I admire you for your willingness to share and I hope that you will have a wonderful future. Take care of yourself and remember that we are here for you.