Enough!!!

mrsbeck

I've fallen back into the same old self-destructive rut I always fall into. Lose 20 pounds or so, start thinking I can cut corners here and there.
"Oh, so I'm a few (hundred) calories over today...still below maintenance, it's not a big deal."

"ugh, I'm tired, I don't feel like working out, plus it's cold out...and I don't feel like moving furniture to do a dvd...sure, I didn't work out yesterday, but definitely tomorrow..it'll be ok..after all, I'm losing now!"

"I'm not gonna log this...I know it's over, I don't need the whole world knowing too."

Look at my profile pic...do you see how long I've been here!?!? And this 22 lbs is the most progress I've made. I have been slacking for the last 3 weeks or so...I haven't gained, thank goodness, but haven't lost either. Saturday is my weigh and measure day...I weigh once a week, and measure once a month. I don't think I'm gonna see any progress.

I'M TIRED OF BEING THIS WAY.

I'M TIRED OF BEING FAT.

I'm tired of the people in my life just smiling and nodding when I say I'm gonna make a change...because they know it only lasts for a few weeks, and then I'm right back where I started.

I've already improved...last time I started post-loss slacking I actually regained most of what I'd lost...so the fact that I maintained is a sign of progress...I just need to progress a little more.

I'm not going to be able to meet that mini-goal in my signature. But I'm keeping it there, and I'll record the actual day that I meet it.

Starting today, I am getting back on track. I've already exercised, but I still plan to walk on my lunch hour and take a quick jog before it gets dark after work. I've figured out what I'm going to eat today, and the whole day is logged.

I have to make this work this time...I've wasted the last 15 years being fat...I don't want to waste the next 15. I wanna be fit and energetic and slimmed down for the second half of my life.

lutzsher

You have written EXACTLY what I am going through right now. I am the queen of self-sabotage and know I am my own worst enemy. I want this so much but when I see progress I slip back into my old rut.
I have begged my husband to be my "diet police" as of this week to help encourage me to make smart choices and to exercise more. If I stick to my plan in 35 weeks I can be at my goal . . . or I can still be floundering in the exact same spot.

I posted a sign on my work computer that I see every day to help my motivation . . . . .

I create myself with the choices I make each day

Don't look into the future past the end of today . . . just make smart choices today only . . . good luck to you!

jbuffan218

mrs beck,

I dont even know what to say, I can feel your frustration .
I cant say I know how you feel because I've never been able to get to the 20 pound mark!
I think the most I've ever lost in my life is 12 pounds.
I have only been fighting with my weight on & off for the past 5 years or so. So for me it has not been a lifelong struggle.
I DO KNOW how frustrating this change in lifestyle can be.
I dont think that is any different based on the amount of weight or length of time you've been trying.
It is still frustrating as hell. It sucks! and it is not easy.

There has not been one stinkin' day so far that I looked forward to my stupid exercise, I still hate it.
I still grumble when I have to weigh and measure everything I eat and then come in here and log it on the computer.
I do not enjoy eating whole grains, no pasta in 3 months ( except those crappy lean cusines ) , eating protein instead of the soft and gooey sugarery foods I really want, I am ticked that I can no longer eat salty foods without a care, I am beyond frustrated that I can no longer eat pizza ( my drug of choice) 3 times a week if I want too. I am frustrated that my stupid body has betrayed me and I can no longer eat like I did when I was in my 30's. with no weight gain. I get extremely frustrated when I commit to doing this exercise crap that makes me sore, queasy and sweaty and then I GAIN weight!
Oh hell no!
It sucks. But it is what it is.
SO, when I get frustrated it all boils down to the one question I continually ask myself, sometimes daily:

"What do you want more?"
"What do you REALLY, REALLY want?"

For me I really ,really, really want to get back into my size 10 jeans. So I'm vain, what can I say?
If I get healthy along the way thats fantastic. Size 10 & healthy sounds like a win -win to me.

So hang in there decide what you really truly want, and decide if the extra 300 calories here and there are gonna give it to ya.
Can you meet that mini goal by not exercising? If you can than great, go for it. But if you can't ( and you know your body) then dont think about it, dont convince yourself you will do it later, because you know you wont !! , dont talk yourself out of it.
Just dont think, put on your workout clothes and move, once you get going and start doing it. Your golden. Getting moving is the hardest part for me. Just dont think, just move.

Besides, dont you just want to wipe those smirks off all those jerks that roll their eyes at you????
How do ya like me now !!!
I wish you all the best of luck, man I hope you hang in there.

MercuryBlue

Sweetie, I HEAR YA!

For me it was a matter of getting to a point where I just didn't hate myself anymore. I can now look in the mirror without feeling physically ill at how poorly I've taken care of myself. And as bad as it may be, when the sight of myself made me sick, it was a good motivator. Now I catch my reflection in the mirror I don't think, "You're disgusting." I think, "Hey, look at that cute little bum!"

I still have a bit of weight I want to lose, though. Quite the spare tire, DEFINITELY not ready for bikini season. Some people say my target weight may be a bit on the low side, but I've been that weight before, and that was when I was at my healthiest.... so I'd like to get there again. That target is about 20 pounds away.

Since joining MFP in November, I've lost almost 20 pounds. Which is completely unbelievable to me! I think when you get to that mark, it's easy to start slagging. Plus, it's EXHAUSTING. Losing weight is definitely a marathon, not a sprint. And like marathon runners, once you hit a certain weight loss point, I think we hit a 'wall'. The trick is finding ways to break through that wall.

For me, February was a total waste of time. I lost 4.3 pounds the whole month (which is still good, but nothing compared to the 6.7 pounds I lost in January). I just wasn't eating as well. Kept counting calories- but on days I maintained I was like, "Meh. At least I'm not going to GAIN." I worked out maybe six or seven times in the entire month (compared to January where I worked out 5 days a week). In my mind I kept thinking, "Look how far you've come- you deserve to treat yourself!"


Well, it's that attitude of 'you deserve this' that caused me to gain weight in the first place! And I have to keep reminding myself that I have a goal, and I'm not going to get there sitting on my derriere. As it was, I was well on target for hitting that goal- actually, I was ahead of schedule! As of this week, I have to lose 1.4 pounds per week (on average) to hit my target on time and I'm determined to make it.

For the first time in weeks, after several false starts, I can now say I'm once again 100% motivated and ready to get back on track. I'm back where I was, FINALLY! FINALLY, FINALLY, FINALLY! After four weeks of 'meh', I'm here again and it feels great! I'm glad to hear that you're determined to get back on track as well.



For those of you who may have 'hit a wall' after losing a bunch of weight, and who are looking to get re-motivated, this is what worked for me:

I changed my start weight.

Not on MFP, mind you- but since joining MFP in November, I have been meticulously tracking my progress in an excel spreadsheet. My weight, my measurements, my workouts, etc. That very spreadsheet tells me that from November 23/09 to February 22/10, I lose 18.5 pounds. And because of that number, I was allowing myself to slip. That number was both my cushion and the cause of my wall. "Hey, I deserve to take 'a break', I've been doing so well. I've lost 18.5 pounds."

So, I took that spreadsheet and closed it. Then, I started a whole new spreadsheet with a whole new meal and exercise plan, starting from scratch. The 'new' start date (for Round Two) is March 8, 2010. According to my new spreadsheet, I've lost 0 pounds. I have a new starting weight, a new target loss... but my target weight and target date haven't changed. As far as this new spreadsheet is concerned, all the hard work I've done in the past is history. Time to move forward.

As strange as that may sound, throwing out all my old records and starting fresh has 'reset' my brain back to where it was on November 23/10, when I was freshly motivated and excited about the journey ahead of me. I've started off strong so far this week, haven't missed a workout and have been eating well. And I'm going to ride this momentum as long as I can!

NykkieC

I am kind of in the same rut. Got halfway and thought "ehh, I look just fine - I can slack off!"

I am just like Carrie - nowhere near bikini season but I like where I am too!

Carrie - GREAT advice on the start weight! I just started a new exercise program so this would be PERFECT for me!!

Me starting the workout program (Power 90, 90 day program) was my "I need to get back in gear" moment.

We all can do this if we put our minds to it! And we have the amazing people of MFP to give us a swift kick in the rear if we need help. :flowerforyou: