When bad days outweigh good days

Robin_Bin

Agree with those who say you're being too restrictive, so most of this is a reaction. No one strategy is going to work for all events. It's smart of you to look for a set of strategies you can use.

Find a few sweets or desserts you can eat without triggering more eating. One way to do this is to find sweets that fit. I like fruit. So a fruit smoothie is a treat, and it also fits into my healthy eating. Some sweet foods have little or no calories -- for instance, some fruit teas or licorice tea (no sweetener added or needed).

Denying yourself is much harder that treating yourself with something else you can enjoy. So find yummy recipes that fit into your plan. Spices can decrease your appetite. Some like cinnamon have been found to have additional healthy effects, such as helping with sugar levels. It's much easier to replace a bad habit with a good one than to simply "stop" the bad habit.

Other strategies...

Before eating out, have a plan. Look up the foods that restaurant has. What are some of the better choices you can make? Are you eating out for all your meals on the weekend? Or could you eat a lower cal breakfast and lunch, saving up some "calorie budget" for dinner out (but be careful of "starving" yourself and being too hungry when you go out, it's a balance)? Eat something that fills you up first -- salad? As someone pointed out in another thread she can make some of her favorites at home (she mentioned fettuccine alfredo) for hundreds of calories less than the restaurant; so she only eats it when she makes it, and eats other things in restaurants. A salad, steak and side vegetables are pretty filling and fit in most non-vegetarian plans. Restaurants will also do substitutions or just leave things off -- yesterday I asked them to leave off the hash browns and the waitress offered some sliced tomatoes instead. Do not go to buffets, or if the restaurant has one, ask to order off the menu anyway. Ask for a box at the beginning of a meal and put away anything that's more than you want to eat. Some people have to throw out the box, but that's better than over eating.

At parties, do not sit next to the food. Enjoy the food, but do not take seconds. Portion control is important. At a party, take small servings. And remember that there's no rule that you have to taste everything (unless you're a paid taster, in which case you may need to consider changing jobs). If it's appropriate, offer to bring a dish. This works well for a pot luck or family get-together. Bring something you can enjoy, and it will be good for others too. (I took a couple of kinds of fruit to a pot luck event just last night, and others loved that choice as well. Someone else brought a vegetable tray. So there was a bunch of good healthy food that honestly tasted better than some of the chips and pretzels, and I could still eat a couple of the gum drops someone else brought. (I like gum drops, but keeping them in my house is not a good idea, so this is a good way for me to enjoy just a few.)

Don't eat food you don't like. If the food at a party or restaurant isn't good, leave it. You can eat something better later. Why waste your "calorie budget" on something you don't enjoy? It's like spending your money and time to go vacation in a place you hate.

As these are social events, focus on the people. Have you had a chance to talk to all the people you wanted to see? Is there a dance floor? Are there other fun activities that will take you away from the food or keep your hands busy with something else? And if there's nothing but a bunch of people sitting around eating, could you maybe make some suggestions about another fun way to spend an evening? Bowling? Ice skating? (See how I snuck in some exercise there?) Board game? Picnic with a bit of walking?

Despite what some people say, there really are no "cheat" days, so don't think of weekends that way. Who do you think you're cheating? Your body knows what you ate. It's ok to plan to occasionally eat a bit more or something special. And we all make food mistakes sometimes. As you correctly recognize that's ok, but we need to reduce the "bad" days and increase the "good" ones.

With practice you'll find the strategies that work for you and get better at using a variety of techniques. Good luck!

Edited to correct typo and for clarification.

CakePlate

I have the same issue! It is so much easier during the week when the days are more structured. The only thing that works for me is to stay busy and to plan my meals ahead just like I do during the week. I missed a family party last night to avoid the pizza and cake that would be there - probably not the best suggestion around, but I knew I wasn't feeling strong enough to say no. Keep up the good work. Little steps over an extended period of time are what we all need.

HMToomey

What's your deficit set at during the week? What's your general eating plan?

I suspect it's too restrictive to be sustainable, causing you to go overboard when you 'relax'.

This. Also, you really should not be under your calorie goal. Your calorie goal is already at a deficit you should be meeting your goal.

The dinners out and parties will always be there, desserts will also always be there. You need to work around them and figure out how to forgive yourself for indulging, because it's going to, and it should, happen again. Try giving yourself a break, try letting yourself know that it's OK to have those things. When I deprive myself of something I only end up wanting it more and OVERindulging when I finally do get my taste buds on those foods! No more guilt, eat anything you want within limits, fully and completely enjoy it, log it and move on!

Life is too short to feel guilty over the food you ate!