Need support and encouragement to loose 160 pounds.

mremington4

Hello,

I'm 160 pounds over weight and need some support and encouragement to get started. I have tried several times to loose weight and failed every time since I've been married. When I was single I lost 100 pounds and kept it off until I got pregnant with my daughter who is now 16. Guess I can't call it baby weight any longer.

My husband is worried about my health and so am I but he tries to push and demand that I go to the gym or not eat something. All that does for me is make me not want to go to the gym and want to eat what ever he says I can't have. I need to turn that off and do this on my own and for myself but I have no idea where to start.

My first goal is to loose as much weight as I can by July 22 because my husbands family is having a family reunion. They have all had weight loss surgury in the last year so they will be thin. I don't have that option. If I don't get the weight off it will just give them a topic to talk behind my back . They don't like me much so that is why I'm worried.

I would love to have people I can talk to and run stuff by without being demeaned and called names. I work night shift so I don't have many friends. It seems all I ever do is work. I work 6 twelve hour shift and then have 8 days off. That never seems to happen either because I usually pick up at least an extra 3 shifts a month because I can't say no.

I need to learn to say no and start worrying about my health. Now where to start.....

Please help this lonely, depressed, extremely overweight person find the thin and vibrant woman underneath this thick layer of fat.


Michelle :embarassed:

damiannikodem

I am in a similar boat to you, I am on my way to trying to remove 99 pounds of additional fat that I don't particularly want or need to have.

I pretty much work 7 days a week from when I wake up to when I go to sleep, and manage to squeeze 30+ minutes of gym time in every day due to having built a full fledged gym in my garage for under $500 mostly by getting items second hand. You have to first of all make the time, you think that you might not have any time, but you really do. We have 6 kids and since November we have managed to squeeze in cooking 2 sets of dinners.

First of all you are going to need to thicken up you skin a little bit since its probably not a good thing you are avoiding the gym for emotional reasons, working off a few hundred calories a day is only going to help you reach your goal, If you get a decent heart rate monitor ( I use the scosche brand one that talks to my phone. ) you can make it into a game of how much you can burn in a session.

Second of all weight loss surgery is the easy way out and it does pretty horrible things to your digestive system, from what I understand most people that go through with it require supplements for the rest of their lives.

Cooking / Eating better really isn't that hard once you have the tools to do so, MFP actually makes it pretty easy if you log _EVERYTHING_ that goes into your body, There is constant temptation here since we keep all kinds of snack foods for the kids that I shouldn't be eating but when I scan a box of muffins or chips it makes the choice fairly easy..

mremington4

You are so right. I need to pull up my big girl panties and just do it. I'm a nurse and know what I need to do but just don't because that is easier. I guess I avoid the issue but it is getting to the point I can't any more.

Thank you for your suggestions. I will look into the HR monitor.

cara523

Hello and welcome! You will find soo much love and support here from all over the WORLD! It is such a great place to be! I have only been here a little over 2 weeks and I couldnt do it without this! Please feel free to add me and I wish you absolutely all the best! You CAN DO THIS!!

Maidofmer

im with ya! got 134 to get rid of.

KiloTango

It's important to remember you should lose weight because YOU want to, not because other people have a problem with your body! It'll make you healthier, give you more energy and if it's what you need to feel good about yourself it'll give you confidence too. Do it for yourself, not anyone else.

It's always hard when you have an unusual schedule (I don't do nights, but I freelance and my timing gets flakey)

The gym is good, but if you can't get to it there's stuff you can start doing at home to begin building an exercise habit. I've started doing this every single morning http://www.fourmilab.ch/hackdiet/e4/exercise.html and am building other exercise into my day when I get chance, a few times a week.

Avoid crash diets if you can, as you'll put the weight you lose straight back on. Instead, try and build healthy eating habits you can STICK to. It'll come off slower, but it'll stay off then.

Oh, and a tip with those hours you have: Make good healthy stuff in bulk and freeze a load, so you always have something healthy you can eat. If you have 8 days off you can make plenty to tide you over for when you're on nights.

Jennieam

Welcome to MFP. Rather than commence with a gym, my suggestion would be to go for a walk each day. 30 minutes if possible - otherwise start with just 5 or 10 minutes, and work up.

In addition to this, set your weight loss to 1 (or at most 2 lbs) per week. Log all of your food and exercise. Drink you water, eat all of your regular calories, and most, if not all, of your exercise calories. Eat mainly healthy foods (such as vegetables, fruit), or low GI foods (eg low-GI yoghurt), low-fat cheese etc.

Then see how you feel - at that stage you might be interested in doing tai chi or yoga, joining a gym, going for a swim etc.

The key is consistency. By taking little stips, you'll get there in the long run.

All the best,

Jennie

aRustyAnGie

Hi there, I know exactly what you are going through. I have just as much to lose if not more. I've yo-yo dieted my entire life and the end result has just made me the biggest I've ever been. I have been going strong now for 20 days and there is something different this time. I'm not sure what it is but I have never been more motivated to do this! I also work 3rd shift and would love to be friends if you'd like. Just add me and we can motivate each other! This goes for anyone else reading this too! MFP has been an amazing tool and logging in absolutely everything has kept me on track. I love seeing my progress and seeing my friends' progress as we go on this journey rooting each other on! Don't give up and don't bring yourself down. You are worth it and you DO want this so let's do it together!!!

Best of luck and don't give up!!

Angie

mremington4

Thanks for responding to me !

I think I'm going to try to do Ideal Protein again. I did well on it the first time. I lost 48 pounds in 7 weeks but then got off track when my parents came for a visit and could never get back on. I have about a months worth of food so I'm going to try that. I hope that will give me the jump start that I need.

I plan on walking on my treadmill for a min. of 30 min a day and building up from there. Anything is better than nothing at this point. I hate going to the gym. When I'm home I love to be home and I think that is because I work so much.

Thanks again !

Gerald_King

I still have 52lbs to lose beleive me you don't need surgery you can add me as a friend for support if you like I don't judge anyone
Please don't do low carb you will gain it all back , go to fat2fit and use the BMR calculator and it will tell you how much to eat and it really does work

kbains12

Hi, I am a night shift nurse too, I work 12 hour shifts and understand where you are coming from.
At work now, I plan my meals ahead of time, that way im not eating from the vending machine, and I walk the stairs to the fourth floor where I work.
Also on my lunch break I try to walk around the inside of the hospital. (its way too dark and scary outside)
I have 90LBs to loose, and Im taking one day at a time, dont be too hard on yourself, and dont let your husbands family define you.
Good luck girl! you can do this!

mremington4

Kbains12.... working nights is really hard on the diet. Between 3 and 4 is really difficult for me. I think I eat to stay awake during the slow times. I hope we can help each other get it off. We would feel so much better and our job would be that much easier.

Keep in touch.

droberts3311

You are the only one that can do this. I always tell myself no one will tap me on the shoulder and say " I just done an hour on the treadmill for you" or I know I will not get out of bed and find the extra pounds just laying there that fell off in the night!! Really just try to focus on one day at a time, even one meal. You will fell better as time goes on, just from eating cleaner.
You have a lot of support here, and you will love yourself for what you can do.
Good luck and stay strong!:flowerforyou:

kellster111

My best advice to you would be to take one day at a time, don't think about the amount you have to lose, set a small target for yourself and then you will feel great when you achieve it, doesn't have to be weight related but could be something like walking 4 times per week for 4 weeks, something that is achievable, then set another goal.

Also take measurements as sometimes the weight won't change but then you can remeasure to see how far you have come, if you can stand it take a before picture, I didn't as I hated how I looked but wish I had now to be able to look back at.

Good luck, you have taken the first step, and you just need to keep taking the next step. Don't be too hard on yourself you are doing this the healthy way rather than the sugery way.

pmhandlo11

Welcome to MFP and congratulations on taking your first step. I gotta tell ya, I started on here about 4 times and quit before I actually started again and stuck with it. You CAN do it you just have to know that in your head. Yes it will be some of the hardest work you've ever done but the rewards are worth it. You will be able to snack and eat what you want with-in reason. I have chosen to make these changes knowing that it will take a long time to get to goal and I'm okay with that. (It's taken 3 months to lose 21lbs). I'm moving in the right direction and not giving up no matter how many times i fall "off the wagon". Best wishes to you, this is a great site full of all kinds of information so take advantage of it!!!

Jill814

Right there with ya girl! my husband would try to help me by being the "bad cop" and i would only get mad at him, so then if i ever wanted to "cheat" he would be like babe have an apple! i wanted to throw the apples at him!!
what i have learned is you have to WANT to do it, make up your mind that this is it and set baby goals. for me i have to do them in 10 lbs, if i look at the whole picture (i need to drop 110) then im like ya forget it!! but if i do 10 and sometimes i need even 5 lbs then it makes it easier!! good luck!!! you can do it

FitBeto

My husband is worried about my health and so am I but he tries to push and demand that I go to the gym or not eat something.

My first goal is to loose as much weight as I can by July 22 because my husbands family is having a family reunion. They have all had weight loss surgury in the last year so they will be thin. I don't have that option. If I don't get the weight off it will just give them a topic to talk behind my back . They don't like me much so that is why I'm worried.


Question: Now where to start.....
Answer: I need to learn to say no and start worrying about my health.

Reunion is a motivation!

Fixed a few things, and your husband seems to support you - see if he can workout with you but other people cant change you, YOU would have to make yourself change. I always used to think that if i did this workout now, that I wouldnt feel as bad later with doing it vs not doing it. Thats pretty much all the motivation i need.

RoseDarrett

Welcome to MFP!I know you will find some very motivating,helpful and encouraging friends here.Anything is possible and you are the only one that can control what happens with your body.

You can do this!!Listen to your cheerleaders.Ignore the negative people and GO FOR IT!!

Good luck

tll291

I hear you!! I just started here on this website and diet myself, have tons of weight to lose also. All I can say, is it has to be done one day at a time. If I mess up, I stop, take a deep breath and get back on my goal. I have lost 10 lbs so far and need to lose 100 more!! I take one day at a time, sometimes one meal at a time. I have bad knees so until I get alot of weight off I try to walk around the house and doing housework helps!! You can do it, we all can!! Just remember, we are all in this together!! I also give each day to the Lord, asking him for wisdom on this journey I am on......

Shawneb66

You have to be the one to decide you want to lose weight. The thing that helped me the most was weighing my food and drinking water. I lost most of my weight in the first 8 months...these last few are not as easy, but I know I will make it! If you want a friend please feel free to add me! Good Luck on your weight loss journey!!

ps. It 90% food and 10% exercise. You can do it!!

Coltsman4ever

Diets don't work. The only thing that will help you is a change in attitude which will lead to a change in lifestyle. If you set lofty goals for yourself like losing as much weight as you can before your reunion and then not being happy with the amount you lose, you're setting yourself up for failure. If you want to set goals for yourself make them smaller goals that you can achieve. Something like 4 lbs in a month. That's a goal you should be able to achieve and when you do you'll have something to be proud of and encouraged by. Forget about everyone else. This is for you and you only.
It is a marathon not a sprint. If you try to make it happen too fast you're only hurting your chances for success. The slower you lose the weight the more successful you're going to be at keeping it off.
Go to the grocery store and buy some fresh fruits and vegetables. Buy some chicken breast, ground turkey, pork and fish. Seasoning is the key to good food. Make sure you season all your foods. You can get just as much pleasure out of eating healthy as you can from eating junk food. There's no guilt in eating healthy like there is in eating unhealthy.
Start off walking a little bit per day and increase your distance or time weekly. Soon you'll start feeling like you can go farther and farther. In time it will all start coming together.
Drink lots and lots of water. If you get bored, add lemons.
Buy a heart rate monitor to count your calories burned when you walk. Don't use it for weight lifting. It's not made for that. ;-)

If you want it, you'll get it.
Good luck.

mremington4

Well made it through my first day. Stayed away from sugar and pop today. Kind of had a headache but feel pretty good. Didn't get all my water in but I'm not use to drinking that much water. Will try tonight to drink more. Also trying to eat every 3 hours so I don't bing. I lost 1.8 pounds and I know it is water weight but I've been retaining water so it is a good thing to get it off.

I hope all is well with everyone. I'm on night 5 of my 6 day stretch of 12 hour shifts at the hospital. Only one more to go and then 8 wonderful days off.

Take care and have a wonderful day. Thank you for all of the encouraging words and support.

Keeshamedina96

Great job, today! Let us know how tomorrow goes!

babymine55

Welcome to MFP This site and all it's information and support can be a wonderful tool to keep you going. I know when I started my weight loss journey, it was an overwhelming number. I felt defeated before I even started. But, one day at a time, one choice at a time, YOU can do this. Not for hubby, not for friends or family-but, because YOU DESERVE IT! Remember what keeps you motivated, goal clothes, a photo, or whatever keeps that fire burning!

Best wishes to you!

projectkristy

I'm also a night shift nurse with a 120 pounds to lose. I got back in the game yesterday with losing weight and tracking my calories. I go back to work Thursday evening and am not looking forward to the array of food that is always present. I know what you mean about the 3am snacks coming out to keep you awake. We're going to Disney World in July and that is my motivation to sticking to plan. I would love to be your friend and we can support each other as we knock off these pounds forever!

maegmez

Hi there! I'm going to start by saying do NOT diet! This is now a lifelong journey and you need to be happy and enjoy the ride. There may be tears, there may be tantrums but you do what it takes to keep going.

I just sent the following to a new friend.

My best tips are to make sure you eat all the calories allotted to you. Never eat under 1200. Enjoy your foods, find a way to make the naughty foods healthy or don't eat them. However, don't deprive yourself of foods you love, just eat them in moderation. Always fill half your plate with veggies.

Find exercises that you enjoy, so you look forward to doing them.

Take lots of pictures during your journey to share your success story to inspire others.

Take all your measurements and record them every 10 pounds.

Don't be discouraged if you don't lose one week or have a slight gain. Always keep moving forward.

Don't use the words, I fell off the bandwagon, or I got off track. You just make a better food choice next meal and try and do a bit of exercise to burn it off.

If you ever need any help, let me know!

Pamela

I have lost 62 pound and my total weight loss should be about 130! Set yourself small goals and rejoice with a happy dance. I don't reward myself but nothing wrong in doing so. My current goals are 3 pounds to my halfway point! 18 pounds to get me out of the obese range! 49 pounds to get me into the healthy weight range! 180 pounds by my husband's and my wedding anniversary, 160 for our holiday and when we go to our church bible week, I should be 100 pounds less than I was last year. After that, 30 pounds left to get to my goal weight.

Please don't think you have to she'd loads of weight in a short amount of time. Slow and steady wins the race. Actually, it's not a race.

Blessings to you! You can do this!

mremington4

Hello everyone. I can't believe all of the wonderful words of encouragement I have found here. THANK YOU SO MUCH !!!!

Today is the start of day 3 and I'm down 3.4 pounds so far. I understand that it is all water weight but like I said before I have been retaining a lot of water so it is a good thing. I really believe with all of the support I can do this. It is finally the right time for me to do this for me.

I hope you all have a wonderful day or night.

Thanks again,
Michelle

mremington4

Yesterday was one week. I lost 10 pounds. I'm so proud of myself. I have gone through withdrawals and sickness and over come it still on track and loosing. Today I wake up with a sore throat and stuffed up head but I will try and stay right on track. I'm going to do it this time.

We went to town for a day of shopping and going out to dinner. We went to the Buffet and I was surprised how easy it was to stay on track. I had a large salad and different kinds of meat. I had jello for dessert. I wanted all of the other junk but I just walked away. I didn't even have a pop. That is my weakness. I had a 1/2 cup of milk and some water.

On the way home we always stop and McDonalds for Milk Shakes. My husband and daughter got what they wanted and everyone was waiting on me to order. I was mentally struggling...... I finally ordered a coffee with cream. That was my treat. I'm glad I stayed the course.

Tonight I go back to work for one night then I'm off for 2 more. Then the horrible 2 weeks begin. I work 5 twelve hour shifts then 2 off and then 6 twelve hour shift before I get 8 off. I hope to stay on plan the entire time and loose at least 6 pounds by the end of this nightmare. I work night shift so I can home school my 16 year old daughter in the morning when I get off of work. I know.... Crazy right.

I might be crazy but it is my life for now and I have to deal with it.

Thanks again for all of the support and encouragement.

Michelle

jenhanke

Hello! My name is Jen and I'm in a similar situation - I have about 120 pounds to lose, and finally feel like I'm *beginning* to get on the right track. I'm so inspired to hear that you lost 10 lbs in a week! You must have been working your *kitten* off (literally!)!!

I just wanted to say - without being too forward, although I know I come off that way - counseling, girl. We all need it. Anybody who depends on any substance for emotional support needs counseling. Whether it's a group, an individual psychologist, or a community of church members, ANYTHING... you're going to need to find that person who cares deeply about your success.

That being said - any man who demeans you, calls you names, thinks you should be able to "just do it already," or looks down on you for not being thin... That man doesn't deserve you. Once you do lose the weight, you might just realize that, and go find someone who will support you 100% in all of life's endeavors.

Keep something else in mind, if you can! Weight loss surgery is definitely a way to get the pounds off. However, it does not fix the emotional part of the problem, which is what caused the obesity to begin with. Those people you're going to see that have all gotten surgery...don't let that intimidate you. You're stronger than them, both physically and mentally, for putting in the hard work and finding the motivation inside of yourself.

YOU GO GIRL!!

skinnyiverson

Hi Jen. I sent you a friend request. I also have alot of weight to loose and a husband that doesn't understand how difficult it can be. Maybe we can help motivate each other.

yowza101

Hello there and welcome. I've been a member on here for a few months and this is the longest that I've ever tracked my food and exercise. This site is wonderful. That's a tricky situation with your husband. I can't comment much on that since I don't have one and my son who is 19 is very supportive of my weight journey. Is there anyway you can talk to him about how he can support you more and how it makes you feel when he gets on you like that? The gym isn't for everyone. I work out at home, I prefer it actually. I don't like being distracted while working out. It's just me and Leslie Sansone and her girls...hahahaha. Getting healthy isn't about starving yourself, its about just eating more the right things and getting off of the couch.

Is it possible for you and your husband to take walks together? Maybe if he do something with you instead of getting on you to do it, his attitude may start to change. All in all, I just ask you to stay strong and remember you are doing this for you. Even if you have a bad day with calories and working out, you still need to remain strong. Trust me all of us have bad days with staying on track. It's how you deal with it that counts. I just get up the next day starting off fresh. So you can't let your husband or anyone else who may say "I know you couldn't it" when you eat something sinfully wonderful get to you.

You will lose your weight. Just remember the normal weight loss is 1-2 pounds a week. I would just set up a goal. Like maybe going with 5 lbs to lose for February and then go from there, if you lose more that's wonderful but if you don't, then you know you lost 5 pounds. I know it takes about 2-3 weeks of me exercising in order for me get into my program mentally to work out. I don't do well with meal plans. So I try not to fry things as much and eat more fruits and vegetables. I would look up to see how many fruits and vegetable servings you need to eat daily. That's what helps me. I keep 100 calories snacks in my drawer at work, a long with 1 serving fruit cups.

Please feel to add me as your friend. You will discover on here, you are loved and liked. You will find you will have more support than you can handle with a lot of people who are passionate about their own weight loss struggles and helping others. Please don't be shy about asking for help and motivation, that's what we are here for.