Need support and encouragement to loose 160 pounds.

mremington4

Hello,

I'm 160 pounds over weight and need some support and encouragement to get started. I have tried several times to loose weight and failed every time since I've been married. When I was single I lost 100 pounds and kept it off until I got pregnant with my daughter who is now 16. Guess I can't call it baby weight any longer.

My husband is worried about my health and so am I but he tries to push and demand that I go to the gym or not eat something. All that does for me is make me not want to go to the gym and want to eat what ever he says I can't have. I need to turn that off and do this on my own and for myself but I have no idea where to start.

My first goal is to loose as much weight as I can by July 22 because my husbands family is having a family reunion. They have all had weight loss surgury in the last year so they will be thin. I don't have that option. If I don't get the weight off it will just give them a topic to talk behind my back . They don't like me much so that is why I'm worried.

I would love to have people I can talk to and run stuff by without being demeaned and called names. I work night shift so I don't have many friends. It seems all I ever do is work. I work 6 twelve hour shift and then have 8 days off. That never seems to happen either because I usually pick up at least an extra 3 shifts a month because I can't say no.

I need to learn to say no and start worrying about my health. Now where to start.....

Please help this lonely, depressed, extremely overweight person find the thin and vibrant woman underneath this thick layer of fat.


Michelle :embarassed:

damiannikodem

I am in a similar boat to you, I am on my way to trying to remove 99 pounds of additional fat that I don't particularly want or need to have.

I pretty much work 7 days a week from when I wake up to when I go to sleep, and manage to squeeze 30+ minutes of gym time in every day due to having built a full fledged gym in my garage for under $500 mostly by getting items second hand. You have to first of all make the time, you think that you might not have any time, but you really do. We have 6 kids and since November we have managed to squeeze in cooking 2 sets of dinners.

First of all you are going to need to thicken up you skin a little bit since its probably not a good thing you are avoiding the gym for emotional reasons, working off a few hundred calories a day is only going to help you reach your goal, If you get a decent heart rate monitor ( I use the scosche brand one that talks to my phone. ) you can make it into a game of how much you can burn in a session.

Second of all weight loss surgery is the easy way out and it does pretty horrible things to your digestive system, from what I understand most people that go through with it require supplements for the rest of their lives.

Cooking / Eating better really isn't that hard once you have the tools to do so, MFP actually makes it pretty easy if you log _EVERYTHING_ that goes into your body, There is constant temptation here since we keep all kinds of snack foods for the kids that I shouldn't be eating but when I scan a box of muffins or chips it makes the choice fairly easy..

mremington4

You are so right. I need to pull up my big girl panties and just do it. I'm a nurse and know what I need to do but just don't because that is easier. I guess I avoid the issue but it is getting to the point I can't any more.

Thank you for your suggestions. I will look into the HR monitor.

cara523

Hello and welcome! You will find soo much love and support here from all over the WORLD! It is such a great place to be! I have only been here a little over 2 weeks and I couldnt do it without this! Please feel free to add me and I wish you absolutely all the best! You CAN DO THIS!!

Maidofmer

im with ya! got 134 to get rid of.

KiloTango

It's important to remember you should lose weight because YOU want to, not because other people have a problem with your body! It'll make you healthier, give you more energy and if it's what you need to feel good about yourself it'll give you confidence too. Do it for yourself, not anyone else.

It's always hard when you have an unusual schedule (I don't do nights, but I freelance and my timing gets flakey)

The gym is good, but if you can't get to it there's stuff you can start doing at home to begin building an exercise habit. I've started doing this every single morning http://www.fourmilab.ch/hackdiet/e4/exercise.html and am building other exercise into my day when I get chance, a few times a week.

Avoid crash diets if you can, as you'll put the weight you lose straight back on. Instead, try and build healthy eating habits you can STICK to. It'll come off slower, but it'll stay off then.

Oh, and a tip with those hours you have: Make good healthy stuff in bulk and freeze a load, so you always have something healthy you can eat. If you have 8 days off you can make plenty to tide you over for when you're on nights.

Jennieam

Welcome to MFP. Rather than commence with a gym, my suggestion would be to go for a walk each day. 30 minutes if possible - otherwise start with just 5 or 10 minutes, and work up.

In addition to this, set your weight loss to 1 (or at most 2 lbs) per week. Log all of your food and exercise. Drink you water, eat all of your regular calories, and most, if not all, of your exercise calories. Eat mainly healthy foods (such as vegetables, fruit), or low GI foods (eg low-GI yoghurt), low-fat cheese etc.

Then see how you feel - at that stage you might be interested in doing tai chi or yoga, joining a gym, going for a swim etc.

The key is consistency. By taking little stips, you'll get there in the long run.

All the best,

Jennie

aRustyAnGie

Hi there, I know exactly what you are going through. I have just as much to lose if not more. I've yo-yo dieted my entire life and the end result has just made me the biggest I've ever been. I have been going strong now for 20 days and there is something different this time. I'm not sure what it is but I have never been more motivated to do this! I also work 3rd shift and would love to be friends if you'd like. Just add me and we can motivate each other! This goes for anyone else reading this too! MFP has been an amazing tool and logging in absolutely everything has kept me on track. I love seeing my progress and seeing my friends' progress as we go on this journey rooting each other on! Don't give up and don't bring yourself down. You are worth it and you DO want this so let's do it together!!!

Best of luck and don't give up!!

Angie

mremington4

Thanks for responding to me !

I think I'm going to try to do Ideal Protein again. I did well on it the first time. I lost 48 pounds in 7 weeks but then got off track when my parents came for a visit and could never get back on. I have about a months worth of food so I'm going to try that. I hope that will give me the jump start that I need.

I plan on walking on my treadmill for a min. of 30 min a day and building up from there. Anything is better than nothing at this point. I hate going to the gym. When I'm home I love to be home and I think that is because I work so much.

Thanks again !

Gerald_King

I still have 52lbs to lose beleive me you don't need surgery you can add me as a friend for support if you like I don't judge anyone
Please don't do low carb you will gain it all back , go to fat2fit and use the BMR calculator and it will tell you how much to eat and it really does work

kbains12

Hi, I am a night shift nurse too, I work 12 hour shifts and understand where you are coming from.
At work now, I plan my meals ahead of time, that way im not eating from the vending machine, and I walk the stairs to the fourth floor where I work.
Also on my lunch break I try to walk around the inside of the hospital. (its way too dark and scary outside)
I have 90LBs to loose, and Im taking one day at a time, dont be too hard on yourself, and dont let your husbands family define you.
Good luck girl! you can do this!

mremington4

Kbains12.... working nights is really hard on the diet. Between 3 and 4 is really difficult for me. I think I eat to stay awake during the slow times. I hope we can help each other get it off. We would feel so much better and our job would be that much easier.

Keep in touch.

droberts3311

You are the only one that can do this. I always tell myself no one will tap me on the shoulder and say " I just done an hour on the treadmill for you" or I know I will not get out of bed and find the extra pounds just laying there that fell off in the night!! Really just try to focus on one day at a time, even one meal. You will fell better as time goes on, just from eating cleaner.
You have a lot of support here, and you will love yourself for what you can do.
Good luck and stay strong!:flowerforyou:

kellster111

My best advice to you would be to take one day at a time, don't think about the amount you have to lose, set a small target for yourself and then you will feel great when you achieve it, doesn't have to be weight related but could be something like walking 4 times per week for 4 weeks, something that is achievable, then set another goal.

Also take measurements as sometimes the weight won't change but then you can remeasure to see how far you have come, if you can stand it take a before picture, I didn't as I hated how I looked but wish I had now to be able to look back at.

Good luck, you have taken the first step, and you just need to keep taking the next step. Don't be too hard on yourself you are doing this the healthy way rather than the sugery way.

pmhandlo11

Welcome to MFP and congratulations on taking your first step. I gotta tell ya, I started on here about 4 times and quit before I actually started again and stuck with it. You CAN do it you just have to know that in your head. Yes it will be some of the hardest work you've ever done but the rewards are worth it. You will be able to snack and eat what you want with-in reason. I have chosen to make these changes knowing that it will take a long time to get to goal and I'm okay with that. (It's taken 3 months to lose 21lbs). I'm moving in the right direction and not giving up no matter how many times i fall "off the wagon". Best wishes to you, this is a great site full of all kinds of information so take advantage of it!!!

Jill814

Right there with ya girl! my husband would try to help me by being the "bad cop" and i would only get mad at him, so then if i ever wanted to "cheat" he would be like babe have an apple! i wanted to throw the apples at him!!
what i have learned is you have to WANT to do it, make up your mind that this is it and set baby goals. for me i have to do them in 10 lbs, if i look at the whole picture (i need to drop 110) then im like ya forget it!! but if i do 10 and sometimes i need even 5 lbs then it makes it easier!! good luck!!! you can do it

FitBeto

My husband is worried about my health and so am I but he tries to push and demand that I go to the gym or not eat something.

My first goal is to loose as much weight as I can by July 22 because my husbands family is having a family reunion. They have all had weight loss surgury in the last year so they will be thin. I don't have that option. If I don't get the weight off it will just give them a topic to talk behind my back . They don't like me much so that is why I'm worried.


Question: Now where to start.....
Answer: I need to learn to say no and start worrying about my health.

Reunion is a motivation!

Fixed a few things, and your husband seems to support you - see if he can workout with you but other people cant change you, YOU would have to make yourself change. I always used to think that if i did this workout now, that I wouldnt feel as bad later with doing it vs not doing it. Thats pretty much all the motivation i need.

RoseDarrett

Welcome to MFP!I know you will find some very motivating,helpful and encouraging friends here.Anything is possible and you are the only one that can control what happens with your body.

You can do this!!Listen to your cheerleaders.Ignore the negative people and GO FOR IT!!

Good luck

tll291

I hear you!! I just started here on this website and diet myself, have tons of weight to lose also. All I can say, is it has to be done one day at a time. If I mess up, I stop, take a deep breath and get back on my goal. I have lost 10 lbs so far and need to lose 100 more!! I take one day at a time, sometimes one meal at a time. I have bad knees so until I get alot of weight off I try to walk around the house and doing housework helps!! You can do it, we all can!! Just remember, we are all in this together!! I also give each day to the Lord, asking him for wisdom on this journey I am on......

Shawneb66

You have to be the one to decide you want to lose weight. The thing that helped me the most was weighing my food and drinking water. I lost most of my weight in the first 8 months...these last few are not as easy, but I know I will make it! If you want a friend please feel free to add me! Good Luck on your weight loss journey!!

ps. It 90% food and 10% exercise. You can do it!!

Coltsman4ever

Diets don't work. The only thing that will help you is a change in attitude which will lead to a change in lifestyle. If you set lofty goals for yourself like losing as much weight as you can before your reunion and then not being happy with the amount you lose, you're setting yourself up for failure. If you want to set goals for yourself make them smaller goals that you can achieve. Something like 4 lbs in a month. That's a goal you should be able to achieve and when you do you'll have something to be proud of and encouraged by. Forget about everyone else. This is for you and you only.
It is a marathon not a sprint. If you try to make it happen too fast you're only hurting your chances for success. The slower you lose the weight the more successful you're going to be at keeping it off.
Go to the grocery store and buy some fresh fruits and vegetables. Buy some chicken breast, ground turkey, pork and fish. Seasoning is the key to good food. Make sure you season all your foods. You can get just as much pleasure out of eating healthy as you can from eating junk food. There's no guilt in eating healthy like there is in eating unhealthy.
Start off walking a little bit per day and increase your distance or time weekly. Soon you'll start feeling like you can go farther and farther. In time it will all start coming together.
Drink lots and lots of water. If you get bored, add lemons.
Buy a heart rate monitor to count your calories burned when you walk. Don't use it for weight lifting. It's not made for that. ;-)

If you want it, you'll get it.
Good luck.