Can't seem to find the deterimination & motivation

Nlongenecker

...I once had. Back in 2003 I lost about 40 lbs. on Weight Watchers. I was down to 139, 4lbs. from my goal. Then DH & I both lost our jobs. Life got in the way and I ate through the stress and I gained it back, plus some. And for the last year or more I have been trying different things, this site and Weight Watchers again. But I can't seem to make a success out of it. I just can't figure out what my problem is. I know why I need and want to lose weight and I know what I need to do to do it. And some days I am really strong, then the next day...not so much. I can't figure out where my commitment and determination went. And I know that no matter which program I use to do it, it won't work if I don't get my head right!

I think one reason I was strong the first time is that I was just newly married and I wanted to do it for DH. Not that he cared, he married me when I was overweight and assures me that he loves me very much no matter what. But we've been married 8 yrs now and I guess I'm just comfortable with our relationship and life I guess. But I know I need to get my rear in gear because both my grandmothers and my mom are diabetic and high blood pressure also runs in the family. Not to mention other complications of obesity (everyone in my family, immediate and extended, are overweight). In January 2009 DH and I joined this site to help us get in shape. He lost 50 lbs and here I am in the same stupid place, not making progress. I feel like a failure and am so disappointed in myself. And when I'm honest with myself, I'm not happy with the way I look!

What have you done to get your mind right and stay determined? I think I need Jillian Micheals to kick me in the butt everyday! lol

sonjavon

For me - I looked at people who have been successful in losing the weight and noticed how much younger and happier they looked. I really and truly had to come to a place inside ME that said... "this time it's all about me... I'm not doing this for anyone else". It's hard to describe the "internalizing" of the thought process... that this is a lifestyle. I've been on a lot of diets where I said, "It's a lifestyle - not a diet" - but it never really hit home...maybe because I couldn't see myself doing them for a lifetime. This is different. I can see me eating the way that I am now - 30 years from now.
My advice... just do it and promise yourself 2 weeks ... and then reevaluate... I found that after a week, I felt so incredible that whether I lost weight or not I wanted to continue... and of course, I have lost weight. No one else can make you motivated - you have to find that for yourself - but once you're there - we're here to cheer you on! Good luck!

txcwgirl

Well I'm not Jillian Michaels but I can try to help you. What are you doing for exercise? If you want you can friend me and I'll help keep you on track. My goal is to get to 135 and I have already lost 11 pounds just using this website to track my food and workouts

Tricia

gracefullyjenn

It has to come from within you. You have to want it so bad. Do it for your health. Not to lose weight but to avoid diabetes. Maybe having that focus instead of the weight it will help. The weight coming off will just be an added bonus. Also it might help to not try and do everything at once. Start with maybe getting rid of processed foods or soda. Or drinking water, or maybe working out 20 minutes here and there. Baby steps in the right direction. My wake up call happened in January when a good friend of ours ignored his diabetes and is now waiting for a new kidney. That could have been me if I didnt make a change. You can do it and you are worth it. Do it for you!! Not anyone else. Dont know if you have any children yet but it helps to be healthier when you get pregnant. I hope this helps. Just keep moving forward

Nlongenecker

I think part of my problem too is that I compare myself to the rest of my family and sub-consciously think, "I am doing better than everyone else. At least I'm trying. At least I have some restraint. But that's not cutting it. They're lifestyle is not one to compare to. I need to focus on me.

The other thing is that it's hard to make it about "me". I am always putting ME on the back burner and that needs to stop, I just have to figure out how.

donna56

...I once had. Back in 2003 I lost about 40 lbs. on Weight Watchers. I was down to 139, 4lbs. from my goal. Then DH & I both lost our jobs. Life got in the way and I ate through the stress and I gained it back, plus some. And for the last year or more I have been trying different things, this site and Weight Watchers again. But I can't seem to make a success out of it. I just can't figure out what my problem is. I know why I need and want to lose weight and I know what I need to do to do it. And some days I am really strong, then the next day...not so much. I can't figure out where my commitment and determination went. And I know that no matter which program I use to do it, it won't work if I don't get my head right!

donna56

I know exactly where you are coming from. My soon to be hubby lost his job over a year ago, and I lost mine this past Oct. The stress really does get to you. I had been on this site for about a month and lost 13 lbs and then bam! lost my job and gained all but 2 lbs back. You just have to find it within yourself to say I am going to do this and stick with it. I have started my journey here again for about a wk now and have lost 4 lbs already. You can do it!!!: smile:

Nlongenecker

My advice... just do it and promise yourself 2 weeks ... and then reevaluate... I found that after a week, I felt so incredible that whether I lost weight or not I wanted to continue

Great advice...Thanks!

FireMonkey

You've got to find something you like, for starters. I had always been interested in martial arts and was fortunate enough to find a club right in my neighbourhood where a middle aged "fresh off the couch" person like me could fit in and succeed. I didn't do it for weight loss at the time but for fitness and the fun of it.

Once the classes became easy, I knew I had to add other activities. I got lucky again: one of my colleagues had a gym membership for years but had not been using it. We started to go together and I got hooked. (I had tried to go to the gym before but alone it was no fun). Now I am used to going and even though she's dropped off again I keep going and taking advantage of the flexible schedule and free classes that are included in the membership. And I'm still working on her to get back on the wagon.

Take a look around - there are many options other than getting into a track suit and running around the neighbourhood (I might try that too one of these days :happy: ). Good luck! :drinker:

sonjavon

I think part of my problem too is that I compare myself to the rest of my family and sub-consciously think, "I am doing better than everyone else. At least I'm trying. At least I have some restraint. But that's not cutting it. They're lifestyle is not one to compare to. I need to focus on me.

The other thing is that it's hard to make it about "me". I am always putting ME on the back burner and that needs to stop, I just have to figure out how.

I have always put "me" on the back burner as well. I was a single mom for 5 years to the most incredible little boy. I'm a caretaker and tend to take care of everyone else. But who's going to take care of everyone else if you're not healthy enough to do it? I have to take care of ME so that I can take care of everyone else better. I'm a better mom and wife now - if I take care of ME. Maybe thinking about it like that will help you too?