Not happy....

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admmommy
admmommy Posts: 143 Member
in Motivation and Support
I have been working out consistently for the past week and a half. My husband wants to also lose weight so he wanted to work out with me. I was happy to workout with him. Anything to make us healthier so we can be a good example for our kids. We have been working out at night after the kids go to bed. Last night he did not work out, I did. Tonight he said that he would work out and he decides that he does not want to work out anymore. So I ended up losing out on my workout for the day. I want him to be healthy but I cannot force him to workout. He says he cannot work out at night and can only do it early in the morning before he goes to work at 5 am. I am unable to do that because of being up at night with a baby. I wish there was a way that I could get him motivated. Anyone else have similar situations? What did you do?
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Replies

  • laserturkey
    laserturkey Posts: 1,680 Member
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    You are going to have to do what is best for YOU. He will either come along, or not. Eventually, he may see your progress and get more motivated to join you. If you give up, though, then that will be the end of that for both of you, I guess. Don't let his current inability to make this change keep you from making changes you need to make yourself healthy.
  • julesdeere
    julesdeere Posts: 12 Member
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    You might just have to work out separately for a while. It is hard with a baby, so good for you. If he's not ready, you can encourage and try to make it fun, but nothing you do will MAKE him ready. Don't let that stop you :)
  • moonsforeyes
    moonsforeyes Posts: 228
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    I know he is your husband, but you have to do what is right for YOU! Maybe if he sees how great working out and eating right is turning out for you, it will motivate him. But you can't really make someone want to. If you want it, workout and reap the benefits!
  • emilyc85
    emilyc85 Posts: 450 Member
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    I would say to do your own thing. If he wants to work out with you then yay, if not you will do just fine on your own. :) My husband doesn't work out with me, he will go find other things to do to avoid it. It is fine with me either way :) If he will work out in the mornings, great, if not, oh well.

    Good luck to you in your situation and with your goals! Keep at it :)
  • coyoteo
    coyoteo Posts: 532 Member
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    Why can't he work out in the morning and you work out at night?
  • admmommy
    admmommy Posts: 143 Member
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    Thanks for the support everyone! I never lost motivation to work out, I know it is hard, but I have witnessed what working out and healthy eating does for me. I lost 100lbs after my 4 year old was born. I know I can do it and I will do it again. I guess I will keep chugging along and hope he will start doing his own thing when he is ready.
  • admmommy
    admmommy Posts: 143 Member
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    Why can't he work out in the morning and you work out at night?

    He says that he cannot do it by himself. He needs someone to push him. These are excuses that we have all heard and probably told ourselves at one time or another.
  • acogg
    acogg Posts: 1,871 Member
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    Inspire by setting an example.
  • terijoestoes
    terijoestoes Posts: 205 Member
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    Been at this journey a long time so my advice is never work out or diet with the male of the species. It is very discouraging. They either do way better or flake out. Do this for yourself the rest will come. Could I also suggest not exercising late at night. For some it totally rev's you up and makes it hard to sleep. If you can get the kids down for a nap at the same time try doing it then. There are some great videos for exercising with baby too. Remember this is YOUR journey.
  • sweetsarahv
    sweetsarahv Posts: 180 Member
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    You are going to have to do what is best for YOU. He will either come along, or not.

    So true...this has to be your journey about YOU. Support him if he's really all in, and don't get mad if he's not, but do NOT wait on him!
  • losingweightfindingme
    losingweightfindingme Posts: 109 Member
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    This reminds me of something my mom always used to say to me when she was attempting to get me to work out. "Change needs to start within". Your husband needs to be his own cheerleader and his own motivator. You can go to the gym all you want together but unless his heart is in it, he won't reap the rewards. I suggest you keep working out, but everyone work out at the time they find best for them. Hang in there and keep going with it for yourself. Perhaps after seeing your successes he will want to change things up and tag along with you on a workout!
  • jelr
    jelr Posts: 98 Member
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    I had this same problem the in past, several months at the end of last year to be exact, which lead to me maybe doing 2-3 days a week of exercise and falling off track with programs just crushing my motivation. My husband would want to do it right up until it was go time then he'd ask if we could just make it our rest day that night and then rinse and repeat. Or I would have to feel like a nag to get him to do it and then we'd both be cranky at each other over it.

    I don't know why but his unwillingness to want to do it always made me just feel stupid. It's irrational but I just felt like an idiot and awkward working out by myself. Especially with him sitting right there at his desk since we use our bedroom because it was after kids went to bed as well. Plus I felt guilty if I spent that time when he was home on something like that because he's military works long hours, and deploys ALOT so I wanted it to be an "US" activity.

    At the end of the year I decided oh well if he wasn't interested fine. I want to workout and I need to do it for me. Quit worrying about what he was doing and have been fitting it in with my own schedule instead, and now I don't have to wait til the end of the night. Nor do I have the nagging to do that was just creating an issue between us. I feel better, he's left to make his own choices, perhaps if I succeed then he may want to join me so we have just one more thing to do together awesome, if not oh well but I won't feel bad about not spending time with him if my workouts are during our time together when he is off work anymore.
  • docHumphreys
    docHumphreys Posts: 92
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    That is tough. It is very hard to get you mate to match your motivation. You need to take care of your health first. If you show him how much more energy you have and how much better you feel, he will eventually come around. I used to try to get my wife involved with my exercise and that never motivated her. Now, when I start a W/O it won't be long before she will start too. It isn't great, but it's a start. Once he has done enough work outs and finds that he is feeling better, he will want to. Good luck and hang in there. You have to be the strong one for you both.
  • admmommy
    admmommy Posts: 143 Member
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    You are all awesome! I have come with terms that he will not be joining me, at least not yet. I agree that this journey has to be for me and I need to own it. Day by day, and each workout that I complete I have a better handle on my journey. I will get to my goal weight, I will be on the outside who I am on the inside!
  • april1445
    april1445 Posts: 334
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    I'm going through a similar thing with my husband right now, and I realized that I wanted him to work out because I want to feel less guilt for working out myself (i.e. the time, the room the equipment takes up, the expense). I thought if it was something we did together, I could say it was for "us", but I guess for now, it's just for "me". Oh well. His loss.
  • april1445
    april1445 Posts: 334
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    Exactly. If I had actually read this (by jelr) post, I wouldn't have replied myself. Sorry to repeat...
  • andyisandy
    andyisandy Posts: 433 Member
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    Why can't he work out in the morning and you work out at night?
    . sorry didnt see your reply
  • Anthonydaman
    Anthonydaman Posts: 854 Member
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    The only person you can fix is you...
  • bearkisses
    bearkisses Posts: 1,252 Member
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    i have an idea...work out separately?
  • bearkisses
    bearkisses Posts: 1,252 Member
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    Why can't he work out in the morning and you work out at night?
    . sorry didnt see your reply

    this

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