Reverse Anorexia & Avoiding the Mirror

erin4455

I'm disappointed that I've waited so long to get this diet going. I feel like I'm finally on the right track with eating, portions, moderation and I'm ready to incorporate the physical activity. However, I have a good 50+ pounds to lose, though 50 is my current goal. I didn't realize just HOW BIG I'd gotten until I saw my reflection in a sliding glass door while at a friends house. I was sitting along side of it, it was dark outside with lights on in the house and you can see how this would make for the perfect 'mirror reflection'. When I saw how big I looked from the side, it literally shocked me. Until then, I'd look in the mirror and think, "yeah, you don't look so bad..." - almost like a reverse form of anorexia. I was in complete denial, and the charade was easy to maintain...I avoided fitting rooms with full length mirrors, I had no full length mirrors at home and I began to avoid having my picture taken at all costs - to the point of appearing as a poor sport or even bitter. What I'd see from the shoulders up never really changed much in my eyes.

My advise is, get next to yourself and embrace your reflection. Check the full length mirrors even if it's hard. It's all to easy to fool ourselves and once we're in that mode, it's easy to pack on the pounds without acknowledging what's really happening.

sofielein

Photos are the worst. I am constantly adminiring myself in the mirror lol - then take a photo and ... BLIMEY!

erin4455

Haha - EXACTLY. When that camera catches up to us, there's no denying.

crazybookworm

It was a Christmas photo of me that got my but into gear! Until that photo I never thought I was THAT big.

I'm very thankful for that picture now!

erin4455

I know what you mean about being thankful for the picture that set you on the right track. The image of me in that sliding glass door is literally burned into my mind. I was so uncomfortable after that...I didn't know how to sit or what to do with myself. What a wake up call.

Mutant13

Hmm, just be aware that, sitting down and on the side most people look quite a bit bigger than they really are. It's because you're scrunching yourself up. A sheet of paper doesn't look quite so thin when you scrunch it into a ball.

I would say stood up straight, with your stomach and body relaxed is a much more honest reflection if your true size and how most people will see you. Don't let yourself think you are bigger than you are

sofielein

Mine was a photo of me sitting on a bike.. I was like how the heck is this bubble not falling off that bycicle?
(and of course I was feeling totally sporty and fit at that moment... yeah right.)

erin4455

You're so right but my problem was, I thought I looked pretty good. You're right about being scrunched up...but I was slouching so badly, causing myself to appear even bigger and I was thinking, "Where's your torso????" Haha - I have to laugh about it now - what else is there to do?

xTenaciousJx

it's true when they say a picture is worth a thousand words....or maybe a thousand smacks in the face. lol a picture woke me up too! so happy now that I decided to get back in shape. I missed me.

erin4455

Exactly - sometimes our minds and our perception needs to catch up to the reality of our physical presence. It's good to laugh about once we're in the mode to change but oh my gosh, I was in the worst denial, ever. Bigger pants sizes didn't even seem to convince me of the gravity of the problem. Seeing myself as I really am, did.

msfitmom_3

I am the exact same way... I knew I had an extra 20lbs of baby #2 weight that I never lost before I got pregnant with #3. And after baby was born, I kept telling myself that I looked "good" when I'd look in the mirror, considering how much weight I had to lose in reality. Then last New Years, my sister took a picture of my husband and I before we left for a party and I was appalled by it. Here I thought I was looking pretty darn good... and was feeling really good until I saw the picture. THAT was my motivation to lose all the weight, and then some.

This past New Years (2013) was my 1 Year Anniversary of starting my weight loss / get fit journey -- and I am proud to say that I have lost 50lbs and I have more muscle & tone in my body then I have EVER had before!! I'm still shocked at my pictures looking back and cannot believe that I thought I was looking great... but at the same time, I, too, am thankful for them or else I'd still be sitting here 50lbs overweight and not caring about my health.

You'll get there! With all the support & motivation I have received from friends on here (MFP) - I don't think I would've been able to do it. I am so thankful everyday, for stumbling across MFP. It has really helped me lose all my weight & then some!

Best wishes to you on your journey!!

erin4455

I can totally relate. I guess we sometimes see things as we want to see them, rather than have to tackle change. I am really impressed with your progress and congratulate you for keeping that weight off! I guess when we're ready to do it, there's no stopping the progress!

madamecj82

I was there a few years ago. My parents saw it and shared their concern with me, but I didn't see it - AT ALL. It honestly wasn't until I lost about 40+ lbs and saw a random before picture somebody found of me. I was in disbelief. I didn't know I had gotten that big. Mind you - I was looking at myself in full length mirrors, but you couldn't tell me I didn't look good! lol I keep that picture close by to remind me of how far I've come and where I NEVER want to go back.

erin4455

I get it - there's a fine line between keeping our self-esteem and fooling ourselves, I guess. I know others had seen the change in me...there was no denying that, but as long as I could find clothes I liked and had no real repercussions from the weight, I fooled myself into thinking that I, and my looks, were okay. Now I'm much more in touch with the real me and I love taking progress pictures in front of a full length mirror...I'm excited to catalog the photos and see how the 'new me' is coming along.