Dating while overweight

roro73

So I'm wondering if there are alot of people that put off dating until they feel they are in better shape? I had told myself that I was going to wait until I dropped at least most of the weight before I started dating again, but I've been single for so long and have really been longing to find a mate. Not that I need a man, I'm completely happy on my own, but God meant for us to be married so I don't think there's anything wrong with wanting that in my life and at 39 I feel like it's time.

So...I put a profile up and was almost overbearingly detailed in what I was looking for and completely honest about being the chubsters that I am. I actually got quite a few responses...I've been very selective though. Well...I have a date tonight and I'm super nervous. Even though we met online, it's such a small world that he used to be a customer of where I work so I was able to ask our sales guy about him and he gave him a thumbs up. Ok, here's my dilema, I've never dated somebody while this overweight. I feel so self conscious it's not even funny.

Any advice? Did you wait until you lost weight or did you just go for it and get out into the dating scene?

one15ts

sorry i don't have any advice. here's my experience: i dated while overweight. most of the time, i didn't get a second date. people were never rude to me, but i'd just never hear from them again afterwards. now that i've lost some weight, i get a lot of attention even when i'm quiet with headphones on, reading, studying, etc.... people are always trying to talk to me. but having dated when i was overweight pretty much left me jaded unfortunately.

HOLLEE85

Good luck on your date....Hope everything goes well for you

crobl

Who cares? No one deserves you at your best if they can't love you at your worst!
(Not saying this is your worst...just a saying)

JUDDDing

No idea - I was married before I got fat.

But, relax and enjoy your date.

It's supposed to be fun - not a job interview.

Bobtheangrytomato

Some people are attracted to skinny people, some to overweight, and some to those in the middle. It really just depends on the person. If you were honest I think it will go well

whitetiger011680

No idea - I was married before I got fat.

But, relax and enjoy your date.

It's supposed to be fun - not a job interview.

This^^^ Have a good time.

Wauwa01

Who cares if you are overweight,, you are doing something about it and it looks like you have a really lovely face from your picture. If someone doesn't look into your heart and see someone that truly makes them feel hooked....they are not for you. Looks and body size aren't everything.

I hope you enjoy the date and that it is a really positive experience.

Just remember that someone who finishes with you because they think you are overweight is just shallow and not worthy of you xxx

Fr3shStrt

Don't over think it (I really need to follow my own advice BTW). You were honest about how you look and he wants to see you so I don't think it will be an issue. I've only ever dated while I was overweight - I've never been skinny or even average. Some guys like a little extra something to hold on to. So have fun and let things work out naturally. And have fun... did I mention that.

gottagettagrip

Go for it. I hesitantly agreed to a blind "fix-up" 2 1/2 years ago. My hesitation was mainly because I had put on about 30 lbs and felt self conscious, but I went anyway. When I first saw him I literally thought to myself..."surely THAT is not for me!" He was a hottie and I just knew that he wouldn't be interested in me. I guess since I figured I had nothing to lose, I relaxed and was just myself and had a good time.

We are engaged now...

And my weight has been up and down since and he has never said a word...it actually ended up being a blessing that I met him at that time because now I know he really loves me for me.

samblanken

Have a good time! :flowerforyou:

Rhonnie

Don't put so much pressure on yourself or the date! Just go be yourself and it will go well, or not so well, or somewhere in between - that is kinda the point. I think you have to be open to meeting someone at any stage of your life because you don't know what you might have missed waiting for the perfect time.

jenns1964

I met my 2nd husband 4 years ago when I weighed 228 after not dating at all for 3 years. He loves me no matter what i weigh. He says I'm built for comfort not speed!

sarahmonsta

I went on more dates when I weighed more then I do now haha. I am so focused on myself at the moment that I just haven't found the time. Also it's weird since I have lost weight I am bigger on personality rather then a guys looks, when before it was the other way around...Anywho I wish you the best of luck in your dating!

drkuhl2017

In my opinion, if the person can't love you now, why do they deserve you later on? I'm engaged and I'm still severely obese, we started dating when I was severely obese as well. Now he is at the very bottom of a healthy weight range for his height. He actually wants to gain some weight. The point is that we all have things we want to change about ourselves. But like other have said, confidence is everything! Confidence is probably the most attractive thing that a person could have.

Good luck on your date!

salsasally

I understand your feeling worried.. BUT, you need to get over it. If your weight is a problem for you then most likely it will become a problem for your date. I'm fat, my boyfriend is skinny (and quite hot) but I'm hilarious, fun and smart and we are a great match. Focus on your positives!

pocodonn

Go for it. I hesitantly agreed to a blind "fix-up" 2 1/2 years ago. My hesitation was mainly because I had put on about 30 lbs and felt self conscious, but I went anyway. When I first saw him I literally thought to myself..."surely THAT is not for me!" He was a hottie and I just knew that he wouldn't be interested in me. I guess since I figured I had nothing to lose, I relaxed and was just myself and had a good time.

We are engaged now...

And my weight has been up and down since and he has never said a word...it actually ended up being a blessing that I met him at that time because now I know he really loves me for me.

THIS!!

emilyc85

Breath, and have fun! My husband and I met, and married, while we were at our heaviest. We are both on our weight loss journey together and doing great!

The right person will like you no matter Enjoy the evening!

Swany2

I lost weight when i went through my divorc,e so when I met my new partner (also online) i was at my lowest weight.

2 years on with my partner,we are now living together and engaged to be married. I have also put back on all what i lost and more.

Put it this way, not everything is about appearance, its actually personality, the kind of person you are and if you hit if off.

Don't lose weight for others, do it for yourself.

Good luck on your date and your jouney xx

animelose2012

i have dated lots of guys overweight. then i found the best one! the one guy that was bigger than me! he has been with me though my skinniest and my fattest. we have been dating for over 2 years now. just have fun with your date.

Gallowmere1984

Ehhh, my wife and I got together when we were both hardcore fatties. We've been on this voyage to wreck iron and get our bodies in shape together. It's worked out extremely well for the both of us.